Title: The Eighth Deadly Sin
Summary: Squeal to Solemn Deceit. Ed now has to deal with Al dating Winry and not seeing him often for they're both state alchemists. AlWinish and a little Winry bashing
Warnings: emo as shit. Although shit isn't emo, you know what I mean. A bit of drama too. I've realized that these boys are really OOC too. Oh well, too late to fix.
Word count: 1,042
A/N: so I was laying around on my bed trying to figure out how the hell to start this chapter so that I wouldn't have lied to Dark Soul because she's now my beta (love you girl!) and "Back in Your Head" by Tegan and Sarah pops into my head and I was all "What the fucking hell, dude?" (and then my step-sis asked "what", but that's beside the point) but my favorite line in the whole song is "I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray" and I thought it fit the fic, albeit loosely so I used it ^^" I'm soo ADD sometimes.
The Eighth Deadly Sin
brooding [broo-ding]Adj; preoccupied with depressing, morbid, or painful memories or thoughts: a brooding frame of mind.
"When I jerk away from holding hands with you/I know these habits hurt important parts of you/Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable/Nothing like this person, unlovable/I just want back in your head/I just want back in your head/I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray" ~ "Back in Your Head" Tegan and Sarah
Al was getting worried. It had been a couple weeks since Winry had to go back to work in Rush Valley and Ed had yet to snap out of it, for lack of a better word choice. He tried, though, don't get it wrong. He tried to be the old Ed that did everything for others and nothing for himself and yet still had a stupid grin unless he was pissed at something. He tried...and failed.
"Ed, what's wrong?" Al asks walking into the bed room and leaning in the door frame, watching Ed who was sprawled out on the bed lost in thought until he had heard his brother's voice.
"Nothing's wrong," He replies looking at Al, struggling to not fall back into his thoughts, for if he did Al would know for sure something was up. He could normally ground himself better than this.
"No, I know something wrong, you've been brooding over whatever the fuck this is since Winry was here. I just want to know what it is," Al sighs. He didn't normally cuss, much less drop the f-bomb, but he was frustrated.
"It's...well it's not anything I want to talk about anyways," Ed mostly mutters to himself.
"You never want to talk about anything," Al points out and sits next to Ed on the bed, facing him. "Not anything personal anyways."
Ed chuckles humorlessly. "I'm wondering what's wrong with me," he all but whispers when his laughs die down.
"Meaning?" Al asks concerned.
"Meaning Winry is my friend and I still care for her, but sometimes all I can do is think of ways to get rid of her...find ways to edit her out. I know she means well but..." Ed stops not wanting to say the next part.
"But what?" Al insists stubbornly.
Ed closes his eyes wishing this wasn't happening. "But nothing, never mind," He sighs running a hand through his bangs, knowing Al wouldn't let it go like that.
"No, if it was important enough to start it's important enough to finish. But what?" Al insists.
"But I'm starting to feel she takes top priority with you. It'd fine if she does, really it is, but I don't want to force you to choose like this. A decision will be mandatory soon enough, but I don't want to force your hand either way." Ed finally admits before adding with a mutter, "I don't even want to be saying this."
"Brother, you've always been top priority," Al replies. "Winry isn't changing that."
Ed opens his eyes and looks at Al, void of emotion. "Do you love her?" He asks.
"Of course I do." Al replies confused. "We would never have gone out in the first place if I didn't."
"Do you love me?" Ed asks in the same monotonous voice.
"Of course! I wouldn't lie to you brother, you should know this. I wouldn't have let us go so far if I didn't love you," Al insists almost sounding desperate. "I love you. That's why it hurt so much when you were gone. Why it hurt so much to know you had lied. I love you brother, always have."
Ed goes back to staring at the ceiling and sighs. "Just forget I said anything," He says shaking his head.
"No," Al says. "Once words are spoken, they can never be taken back. Words are permanent, and besides this means something to you. I'm not going to forget this. Not on purpose anyways."
Ed laughs humorlessly. "You sound like me." He says. "Well, the old me. It's almost like I'm the younger one now."
"We have rubbed off on each other a lot," Al replies with a small smile. "but it's true. If this is what has been bothering you for this long, then it's important to you. I'll swear up down and sideways that I love you more, but I have yet to prove it and it's almost impossible at this point."
"Which is why I ran away in the first place. I'm such a fucking coward," Ed replies with a huge sigh, eyes slipping closed. Al leans over the blonde and presses their lips together, moving to where he was straddling the older of the two. The brunette pours his heart into the kiss and it surprises Ed. Had he really worried his little brother that much? He wraps his arms around Al's waist and responds just as passionately as Al was.
After a second or two, Al pulls away, but keeps his face close enough so they could feel each other's breath on their lips. "Before the first time I actually visited Winry at Rush Valley after your 'death' I had already figured out that I loved you. By then I was trying to think of ways for me to see you and not her so as not to make her sad. She needed me. She had loved you too. But now that you're back, I don't know how to say no without breaking her heart."
Ed closes his eyes again after having opened them when Al started talking. He gently pushes the younger away and slides off the bed pulling the hair tie from his wrist and pulling his hair up. He then walks from the room, steps into his shoes, dons his jacket and leaves the apartment, needing to think for a while. He knew Al would just worry more, with that exit and explanation, but he'd explain when he got back, he knew Al'd give him his time.
What he didn't get was why Al confessing his love for him wasn't enough. There were people out there that would go years and years just wanting to hear the simple "I love you" come out of a certain someone's mouth- even if they never said it first. And Al had said it four times and everything else he did and said screamed it even if it wasn't his wording. But Winry was still in the equation. So long as she was still there, he figured he would be worrying.
A/N: y'know, I re-read Solemn Deceit just because and there's at least one typo in every chapter. It's really annoying because typo's bug me even more than really huge fuck ups because typo's are all "oh, okay, they're smart just hit the wrong key" it's always the small things that pop out and glare at me. Maybe I'm just weird.
Lawl. I was re-watching Junjou Romantica before I wrote the last 140 words which is where I got the whole loving them for years and years just wanting to hear "I love you" because Akihiko was in love with...whathistoes...Takahiro! (just looked it up) for ten full year completely unrequited before he met and fell for Misaki. And then there's Hiro who took advantage of Akihiko (ugh, why am I calling him Akihiko? Misaki calls him Usagi and they're dating -.-") and was upset over that for a while (he figured out that he wanted his love, and it just doesn't work when they someone else's name when cum, y'know?) before Nowaki came along and fixed his heart before stealing it. So yeah. Years and years. And anyone that had to read all of that because they don't know Junjou need to get they're asses to either mangafox and/or animetip. Mangafox to read and animetip to watch. I need to read/write some Junjou fics don't I?
Your (ever so slightly ADD) Author
~Evelynn