Four reviews? Seriously? Man, I guess that rewrite was less than impressive. I'm kind of upset, but I do want to thank Keepmovingforward2, MidnightRoulette, Marissa, and Obiwan 1022 for reviewing. Initially it was my goal to have an estimated 7 reviews per chapter (mathematically diving reviews with the number of chapters), but it looks like that won't be happening.
Anyway, I know there are spoilers out there and leaked episodes in different languages from the remainder of the season (wow, already? Seems like yesterday I was watching 'Targets' online in the summer) and I saw the rest of the episodes, but I want to say again that regardless of what happens to either Roy or Artemis, I would still like to continue this (i.e. maybe Roy giving Artemis advice about Wally, a masquerade, and any suggestions). Maybe reviews have been declining due to leaked episodes, but I don't want leaked episodes to ruin everything because sometimes I think if a country leaks episodes then CN would be compelled to no longer give episodes of YJ to other countries because they would deem it too unfair to those who had not seen certain episodes. I know, it's complicated, but I think Turkey and other countries leaking episodes online would hurt how CN distributes YJ to other nations.
Anyway, even if you saw the finale (which in my opinion is probably one of the most disappointing finales I've ever seen on TV), I still hope you'll enjoy this.
Awkward moments
1. That awkward moment when you see something totally unexpected
An exhausted Arty punched in the elevator number and banged her head against the wall. This mission was against Killer Frost and the Riddler, who thought it would be nice to puzzle others while freezing them. She managed to save Wally from being frozen, but it took FOREVER to un-ice Robin and Kaldur. She wanted nothing but a shower, warm pajamas, and to snuggle beside her friend.
In the apartment, Artemis zipped her coat up to her chin and unlocked the door, which seemed quiet except for creaking. That was normal, considering sometimes Roy found it difficult to sleep alone without a warm body beside him. In the kitchen Arty pulled out a Mountain Dew, uncapped the lid, swung open the bedroom door-
"Artemis!" Roy shouted waking her from the daze. He swept the blanket over his thighs while the woman under him gasped and bunched the pillow to her throat.
Artemis's daze ran away when she noticed the bed's naked occupants and she ended up screaming.
The other woman, whom Artemis remembered as Roy's college sweetheart Kendra, quickly grabbed Roy's shirt and pushed him to Artemis's side of the bed.
Artemis slammed the door shut and jumped onto the couch, several emotions swarming around her mind-amusement, embarrassment, shock, fear, bewilderment, excitement, amusement, embarrassment, shock, fear, bewilder-
The door opened and Roy, in boxer shorts, stepped out with Kendra, in his T-shirt and her boy-shorts. Kendra's face was cherry red. "Well, uh, that was embarrassing," she chuckled unsurely.
Arty nodded and tried to focus on Roy's model body. "Yeah, uh…maybe next time I'll call."
Even after Kendra left, Roy and Artemis found it hard to speak because sometimes Artemis would end up laughing.
2. That awkward moment when someone catches you lip-synching
Artemis rubbed her face when she woke up and climbed out of bed. Today was going to be another lonely day.
Kaldur was in Atlantis, Megan was in a cheerleading competition, Conner was working with Dinah in her floral shop, and Robin and Wally were having a bro-mance day. Her mom was having adult tea with her friends. Roy was in school studying criminal justice. So Artemis had the day to herself.
She cooked a small omelet, drank tea, and looked around the apartment. This saddened her because she remembered Bette talking about days when her parents were gone that she could not do with her mom or as a child because of her father.
Suddenly it hit her.
Artemis felt extremely mischievous as she pulled her school socks up to her knees, removed her pajama bottoms and changed into a pair of fresh boy shorts. She pulled off her sleep shirt, slid on an undershirt, and buttoned one of Roy's shirts. She grabbed a wooden spoon, turned on a CD player, and moved the upper arrow until it began playing Katy Perry's 'I Kissed a Girl.'
Artemis smiled and tried to not giggle as she moved her hips, turned her head, and began singing along. 'This was never the way I planned, not my intention I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my discretion, It's not what I'm used to…"
Artemis continued to lip-synch and thrust her head back so her hair hung down her head to her lower back, swung around the banister as if on a stripper pole, lifted her knee to her nose seductively, rolled her shoulders, and began reinventing moves she saw in Risky Business.
"Hard to resist, so touchable-Roy!"
Roy ran out from the doorframe and tripped onto the couch, laughing hard enough to make the Joker feel intimidated. Artemis quickly unplugged the CD player and threw on a bathrobe to confront him. "ROY, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN-"
"Class was cancelled," Roy said through fits of laughter. "Professor Gomez vomited so…"
His face was redder than his hair, and Artemis was feeling ill. "Roy, you didn't videotape that, did you?" she asked timidly.
Roy snorted. "No…I didn't."
Unfortunately, she failed to tell him not to reveal this to anyone, for he told Wally. And Wally could not concentrate on other missions because he kept having visions of Arty lip-synching in that kind of clothing and could not stop laughing.
3. That awkward moment when you see your favorite couple doing a treat they should save for that night
Arty and Roy were spending the day with Ollie and Dinah, considering it was their anniversary. They spent the night at the Queen mansion, had a wonderful endless breakfast that would satisfy even Wally, went to an amusement park (Dinah tried bungee jumping-aka, NEVER AGAIN), visited a museum, had an Italian lunch, shared snow cones, and were spending the night at the mansion again before bed.
After a wonderful dinner, Ollie and Dinah suggested that Roy and Artemis clean up after them simply because they love them. In the kitchen, the two were laughing.
"Ten bucks they'll be too distracted to notice us walking out," Artemis spit-balled.
"Nah," Roy laughed. "We'll just see how they are."
Roy and Artemis walked up the marathon steps and to the game room. When Roy was a child, that was his favorite room-pool table, mini arcade, ping-pong table, darts, archery set, even a recent Wii workout collection. As a boy, he would sleep in here and would lose the privilege of playing in here.
"So do you think they'll be producing their own little Queen soon?" Artemis asked in a cooing voice.
Roy smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, but I'm not changing dia-AH!"
Dinah gasped and tried to cover herself, but Ollie was not so lucky, for he was trying to pull his jeans back on but accidentally rolled off the pool table. Dinah winced and curled up at the end of the pool table. "Uh, hey, guys, we, uh…"
Artemis and Roy were standing with agape mouths and zombie eyes. "Uh, well, we, urrr, so…" They glanced at each other and ran.
"OUCH!"
Artemis ran right into the banister end, which pushed painfully into her lower ribs, and Roy slipped on the rug and fell down the marathon steps until he crumpled at the bottom with a bleeding nose.
Dinah grimaced. "Yeah…that was kind of a dumb move on my part…"
4. That awkward moment when one rip brands you with a remark that you never hoped would happen to you
Roy agreed to Artemis that he would pick her up from Mount Justice in time to go to the Queen Industries party, all because he loved Ollie and Dinah like parents. She was satisfied but said that she was training in Mount Justice, so he promised to pick up a small bag of important cosmetics that her mom had packed for her-a small bag of necessities, an ugly dress with flats, and everything else Artemis thought she would need for the party. All Roy had to do was give her the bag, wait for her, and be her escort (he shivered) until the party was over.
When he came over, Conner and Wally were sharing cookies and patting Sphere, who was always pleading with Conner for a thrill-ride. "Hey, guys," he greeted them sliding the green bag over his shoulder once more. Damn that thing was heavy-how many bricks was she supporting on this thing? "Is Artemis ready?"
"She's still training," Wally said chugging down milk. Roy looked away despite their brother bond. "You can just drop off her bag and change."
"Thanks, Wally," Roy grinned walking away-
RIP!
Roy froze when he heard a dreadful sound…and he turned to Artemis's necessities-pads, tampons, tissues, Tylenol, makeup, lime deodorant-spilled from her bag on his shoulder and onto the floor of the main room.
Needless to say, Conner and Wally heard the tear and peeked out of the kitchen to Roy standing in a pile of feminine tools. Roy felt his face warm up and his heart was slowly thumping. Wally chuckled and, to make it worse, it peaked out to be loud and hilarious laughter. Conner was still confused but taking from the way Wally was acting he took it as a time to laugh as well and hunched over in fits of amusement.
"Hey, Roy, what's going on, you dressing up as a girl for the party?" Wally choked.
Roy swallowed. "N-no…this is for Dinah-"
"Oh, Roy," Artemis hopped out of nowhere in surprise. "What happened? How did my bag explode?" Roy gulped and almost cried.
Wally stopped, though, when he saw Artemis, and he grabbed a handful of green tampons and the deodorant. "Hey, Artemis, catch me if you can!"
"WALLACE WEST, GIVE THOSE BACK TO Me!" Artemis roared at the top of her lungs chasing after him as he zoomed off. Conner stopped laughing and stared at a red-faced Roy.
"So is that what girls actually use?" he asked.
"Yeah," Roy nodded sheepishly. "Thank God that M'Gann is not human because you don't want to know what it's like to suffer women's tools."
Conner shook his head. "Glad I'm younger than you."
Roy nodded and narrowly avoided crushing a pill. "Want to help me clean up, super-buddy?"
Conner laughed harder than before. "Nope-that's your successor, your problem."
"Conner-"
Conner slammed the kitchen door shut.
5. That awkward moment where you have to explain something that you shouldn't
Artemis was lying on the couch moaning in pain. No, it was not PMS, no it was not early cancer, no it wasn't just a bad stomachache-it was a horrible injury she gained fighting Black Spider the night before. He tripped her and she managed to pull herself up on a building rooftop, but she ended up pulling a muscle on her side so horribly Ollie confined her to rest. Luckily, he didn't have to ask anyone to leave her alone.
Zatanna, Kaldur and Wally were grocery shopping. Megan and Conner were doing homework together. Robin and Roy were combat training, and Artemis really wanted to join them, but the pain on her side was killing her.
Artemis growled as the pain grew more overbearing and painfully stood up. She needed another painkiller before she could even attempt to go back to sleep.
Just after she consumed hot tea and a painkiller, she heard a rustle and saw Conner in front of her. Artemis blushed. Even if she knew he was taken, he still made her giddy inside. "Hey, Conner," she sighed rubbing her sore hip.
Conner nodded dimly. "I came for juice and snacks," Conner said looking down at something in his hands. "But I came across something." He was fidgeting and held up something in his hands. "What's this?"
Artemis walked forward and almost touched it-
She realized it was clear, rubber, and in the shape of a long hot dog.
Artemis nearly choked on her own throat and looked at his with bulging eyes. "Um…where did you…find that…"
"I saw this fall out of Roy's bag before," Conner said. "I thought he was going to pick it up, but he didn't. Do you know what it is?"
Artemis swallowed and looked around. "Um…" she shook and it her lip. "Conner, look out look behind-"
"Nice try, Artemis," Conner sighed. "That's not going to work."
Artemis knew she was screwed. And that Roy and Ollie were going to kill her. "Well, uh…Conner, have you ever heard of how humans, uh, reproduce?"
Conner wrinkled his brown. "You know, uh, sex…This is used as…protect-"
All of a sudden he remembered everything he was fed in Cadmus and his face quickly flushed redder than a ripe strawberry. With a tiny yelp, he ran away and dropped the object on the floor.
Artemis chuckled nervously and kicked the condom through the door of Roy's spare bedroom.
6. That awkward moment when your mom catches you playing a game
As a small thank-you for taking care of her daughter and for being cooperative, Paula invited Artemis and Roy over for dinner each Sunday night. They would eat either Vietnamese crackers, meats, and tea, or have Chinese take-out.
Normally a Chinese delivery man would bring the Chinese for them in the apartment, but some sort of circumstances propelled Paula to pick the food up by herself. Roy offered to pick it up, but Paula refused to, quote, 'put the guest in slavery position.' Artemis chuckled, but Roy felt kind of awkward.
After Paula left, and the two grew tired of watching the news, Artemis walked back from the kitchen and tossed him a deck of cards. "Want to play?" she asked.
"Poker? War? Blackjack? Spades?" he asked shuffling the cards in his hands.
"Blackjack," Artemis said. "I'm going to kick your white toned arse."
Roy grinned. "Oh, we'll see about that, Cupid Artemis."
Arty flushed redder than her own blood.
"Gotcha, I won!" Roy laughed clapping the table. "Seems like you're going to KISS my white toned arse," he laughed.
"I have something better than that," Artemis said standing up. Roy was afraid she was going to hit him until she began unbuckling her belt. His baby blue eyes widen to half-dollars when she sat back down. "Strip blackjack?" he asked perplexed.
"Bring it on," Artemis grinned evilly.
Half an hour later, Artemis was in just her boy shorts, undershirt, and socks to him being in his jeans and socks when he pulled off his T-shirt. "Ooh, yeah, work it, work out, Roy!" Arty cheered enthusiastically when he stretched his six-pack abdomen and muscled arms. "Oh, man, you need to leave industrial work and get to modeling-"
"What about modeling?" asked a familiar dry foreign voice.
Roy accidentally fell off his chair from the arm of the chair and onto his back. Artemis yelped and grabbed her jeans. "Mom! What are you-"
"I came to bring you dinner," Paula said setting the food down. "That is, unless you two are otherwise preoccupied with other matters-"
"No, no, no," Roy said pulling his shirt back on. "We, uh, we were waiting."
Artemis watched her mom set the food down and pour sauce into small cups. "Dig in?" she asked, her eyes on the food.
"Yeah," Roy and Arty responded awkwardly.
7. That awkward moment when you try to explain when things go worse
To be honest, nothing was really good when Batman was so intimidating. But then again, it was worse when your own mentor was angry with you too.
Ollie crossed his arms and glared at exhausted Arty, who was looking up tiredly. "Explain what happened," Ollie commanded. Hey, it was supposed to be his fault because he assigned the two to work together-right?
Artemis swallowed. "Well, we were fighting Hook and Vandal Savage…"
"Artemis, hurry up! Give me your hand!" Roy yelled as his partner hurried behind him. He shot a rope arrow, grabbed Artemis's hand, and the two jumped off the rooftop to the neighbor building, Artemis hurrying to grab his ankles, where Hook and Vandal Savage were carrying something probably for the Injustice League.
"Watch the roof!" Roy yelled as he bent his legs. Artemis followed and took a deep breath before she stretched her legs and touched the rooftop-
Their landing was less than graceful, as Artemis touched the roof at the wrong moment and Roy lost his grip and rolled onto his back at the wrong moment, Arty followed suit by accident and landed face-down on something soft…
It took Artemis a while to gain common sense to lift her head when she realized she had her face in Roy's crotch.
Artemis hazily lifted her head before she understood how she landed and what position she was in. And it took her a long time to react when Roy kneed her in the head. "PERVERT!" he screamed pushing her back by the chest. "What the hell is wrong with you!"
Artemis flushed horribly when a) he realized their targets were gone, and b) a reporter from a rooftop was snapping photographs.
For about two months, Roy avoided Artemis at all costs-if she was with Robin, he would hurry to the kitchen or TV room. If he was with Wally and she walked in, he ran off and left the two awkwardly standing alone, Wally asking, "Was it something I did, Arty?"
Eventually, Dinah made them sign a 'treaty' that the incident was an accident and nothing intentional. Roy and Artemis reluctantly signed it and went on with their lives.
This was actually quite fun to do. Thanks to MyLittleAngelxxx for a wonderful idea of Artemis taking care of Roy after he was forced to try heroin while working undercover in a drug ring. It's different from the real story, but I'll write it soon-hopefully before June.
Secret: If Spitfire does happen, I pray that they are not too clingy or dependent as Super-martain. Wally and Artemis are better defined by themselves, not a romantic relationship. Megan's been judged due to her love for Conner and her 'Mary Sue' persona...If Spitfire is everywhere and they can't learn to live without each other, then it takes away what makes them special as individuals
Five reviews, please?
Up next: Masquerade…