Disclaimer: I still don't own the Mentalist.
A/N: I haven't personally encountered the item that Lisbon receives in this chapter. If I've made any mistakes (hi, internet research!) feel free to correct me. Also, the Wikipedia article cited (I know, such a reliable resource) is an actual direct quote.
As always, my thanks to those of you still reading and reviewing! This fic will (I think) have two more chapters, one for the twelfth day gift and one dealing with Lisbon's reaction to her admirer's identity.
Chapter Eleven: The Eleventh Day
Sunday, December 23, 2012
"See you, Boss," Van Pelt said, giving Lisbon a quick hug. "Have a wonderful Christmas!"
"Thanks, Van Pelt," Lisbon said, awkwardly returning the younger agent's hug. "Enjoy your time off. You deserve it."
Van Pelt beamed.
"Oh, I almost forgot," she added, gesturing to a brown paper bag on her desk. "I bought these for you guys."
"You didn't need to do that," Lisbon murmured.
Smiling, Van Pelt said, "I wanted to. Go on, open it."
Hesitantly, Lisbon opened the bag, and pulled out a bright red plush Santa hat.
"Aren't they great?" Van Pelt asked. "I got one for everyone."
Lisbon smiled weakly, but Rigsby positively beamed.
"Wow, thanks, Grace," he said, leaning over and pulling out a Santa hat for himself. Promptly plopping it on his head, he continued, "I've been meaning to get one of these so I can play Santa for Ben."
"What about the rest of the suit?" Jane asked, his own Santa hat sitting on his curls at a rakish angle. "You can't be Santa without the whole ensemble."
"Just give him a beard and he'll pass," Cho commented, taking his own Santa hat and putting it on his desk.
Rigsby frowned and looked down at his stomach.
"I haven't gotten that fat, have I?" he asked anxiously, poking his stomach. "I mean, I know I've been doing a lot of sitting around in the evenings now that I have Ben, but –"
"He's messing with you, Rigsby," Lisbon said.
Van Pelt nodded in agreement, adding, "You're fine, Wayne."
Rigsby let out a chuckle.
"You got me good, man," he told Cho. "I was really starting to worry."
"Aren't you going to put on your hats?" Van Pelt asked, addressing Lisbon and Cho. "Everyone else is wearing them."
Cho simply stared at her. Van Pelt stared back, unimpressed.
At last, he said, "No."
"I want to save it for Christmas," Lisbon prevaricated. "To, uh, make it more special."
As she spoke, Jane picked up her hat and dropped it down on her head. It was so large, however, that it slid over her eyes and part of her nose.
"C'mon, Lisbon, live a little," he said coaxingly.
Glaring at him, Lisbon shifted the hat so she could see.
"Jane –"
"I really do need to get going," Van Pelt interrupted regretfully.
Giving Jane one last scowl, Lisbon returned her gaze to Van Pelt.
"Have a safe flight," she said.
"Thanks," Van Pelt said. "And again, I hope all of you have a great Christmas!"
With those words, she left the bullpen.
"Well," Lisbon said with a sigh, "Back to work, everyone."
She was just starting to walk towards her office when a low male voice announced, "Can someone tell me where I can find Teresa Lisbon?"
Turning around, Lisbon said, "That's me. How can I help you?"
The man in front of her was just her usual type: tall, dark-haired, and just a little bit scruffy. The turtleneck that he wore was dark green, accentuating the color of his hazel eyes.
"I have a delivery for you," he said, handing her a vase of the strangest flowers she'd ever seen.
With their four white petals and tall, spiky, conical centers, they looked vaguely phallic.
"Uh, thank you," she murmured, fishing in her pockets for a tip and trying not to blush.
"I've got this," Jane said, handing the man a crisp bill, clapping him on the back, and ushering him back towards the elevator.
Lisbon was distantly irked by his high-handed behavior, but was too occupied by looking at the flowers to protest.
Opening the card tied to the vase, she saw what she'd been expecting: Merry eleventh day of Christmas from your secret admirer.
But how did the flowers fit into the song?
Frowning faintly, she bent down and sniffed the spicy scent of the blossoms. It was unlike anything she'd ever smelt before – the closest comparison she could make was a strange combination of mint, wild ginger, and eucalyptus.
"Someone's got an admirer," Jane sing-songed, having returned.
Rigsby looked equal parts curious, excited, and guilty, while Cho remained as straight-faced as ever. Having known him for a long time, however, Lisbon could tell by the glint in his eyes that he was amused.
"What of it?" Lisbon asked defensively, heading towards her office with the flowers.
"Nothing," Jane said, following her, hands held out placatingly. "Just saying."
Lisbon put the vase of flowers in a position of pride on her desk.
"There's one thing I don't get," Lisbon admitted to him. "All of the other gifts have been related to that 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song. But I can't figure out what these have to do with anything."
Jane frowned consideringly for a few seconds, then smiled.
"Clever," he said in an almost admiring tone.
"What's clever?" Lisbon asked.
Shaking his head, Jane replied, "That would be cheating, Lisbon. This will be so much more meaningful if you discover it on your own."
"Right. Meaningful," Lisbon snorted. "This isn't a test, you know."
"Oh very well," Jane said, sighing as though much put-upon. "I'll give you a hint: some people call what you have in your vase Yerba Mansa. Others call it Lizard's Tail. I expect you can use your fine CBI detecting skills to find the connection."
Doing her best not to roll her eyes, Lisbon said, "That's it? That's your big clue?"
"I have faith in your abilities, Lisbon," Jane said glibly.
"Maybe I don't care about knowing anymore," Lisbon said, pulling a file out of her drawer.
Smiling smugly, Jane said, "Oh, you don't mean that. I give you twenty minutes before you break down and try to figure it out again."
Lisbon's fingers tingled with the familiar itch to slap the smirk off her consultant's face.
Correctly reading her facial expression, Jane began to exit her office.
He left her with one last parting shot, however: "Curiosity is a healthy trait, my dear. You shouldn't be afraid to cultivate it."
Over the next half hour, Lisbon tried to work on her endless pile of paperwork, but curiosity itched at her brain and distracted her. She refused to give Jane the satisfaction of being right, however.
At last, she gave in and googled 'Yerba Mansa.' At least, she reassured herself, she'd managed to wait longer than twenty minutes.
Reading the Wikipedia article that had popped up, Lisbon discovered that the 'flowers' were officially called Anemopsis californica. She still had no idea how they were related to the song, though. Then she started clicking on links within the article in hopes that something useful would appear.
She had just clicked on 'Saururaceae' (the family to which Yerba Mansa supposedly belonged) when she saw it.
Of course, it all made sense now.
Saururaceae, the page read, is a plant family comprising four genera and seven species of herbaceous flowering plants native to eastern and southern Asia and North America. The family has been recognised by most taxonomists, and is sometimes known as the "lizard's-tail family". The APG II system (2003; unchanged from the 1998 APG system) assigned it to the order Piperales in the clade magnoliids.
She shook her head and smiled.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, someone gave to me… eleven Piperales.