"Chika-chan, where are we going?"
"I don't know, where do you wanna go?"
"Where you say... I don't know"
"Then let's just walk"
"But the bell will ring soon. We should find a place"
"Then what about the club room?"
"The club room... Yeah, let's go to the club room"
And so Chika-chan and me walk towards the club room. It's been a while since the last time I was here... It's so empty, it makes me feel sad, so quiet, usually it's not like that. The club room, the place we, Aqours, have our meetings.
"Is there any problem You-chan? "
"No, it's nothing... I was thinking about how the club room is so quiet"
"Now that you mention it... It's really weird don't you think?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know, everything started because I wanted to create a School Idols club. At the start it was only You-chan and me"
"Yeah... Then Riko-chan transferred and you were so stubborn"
"I know, I know. Then the three of us did our first live, and after that Hanamaru-chan, Ruby-chan and Yoshiko-chan joined us"
"We went to Tokyo, faced defeat, but Dia-san, Kanan-chan and Mari-san joined us too"
"We really been through a lot"
"Thank you Chika-chan"
"Why?"
"If you didn't wanted to be a school idol I wouldn't meet Yoshiko-chan"
"You-chan... You really love her, right?"
I don't answer. I put my head down in the table. I close my eyes and think about all the things I been with Yoshiko-chan...
"Yes... I love her"
"Then why you didn't said yes to her in the rooftop?"
" I don't know Chika-chan... I'm afraid that I might hurt her again, that I'm not good enough, I don't want to lose her again"
I start crying.
"It's ok You-chan. Everybody is afraid of something"
Chika-chan hugs me.
"You know what, I'm afraid too. That one day I won't be with Riko-chan anymore"
"Chika-chan..."
"But you know what, when I start thinking about that I tell myself that I should stop worrying about that. I'm with Riko-chan right now, that's why I should treasure the time I spend with her."
"The time I spend with Yoshiko-chan..."
"I bet you had great times with Yoshiko-chan... And you could have more You-chan. You only need to be brave!"
"But what if..."
"Don't say what if! Instead of thinking about the what ifs you should do something"
"You are right Chika-chan. Thank you"
"No problem You-chan. We are friends after all"
"You are right, that why this is the only thing I will ever do to you"
After I say that I kiss her on the cheek.
"You-chan! "
"Sorry Chika-chan. It's just to make sure of myself... Now I can say it... I, Watanabe You loves Tsushima Yoshiko"
"I'm happy to hear that You-chan"
She hugs me again.
"Say, did you ate something?"
"Now that you mention it... I'm hungry"
"Don't worry I got you!"
Chika-chan walks towards the board we have in the club room. Behind the board there is a box, when she opens it...
"Look! My secret place to put my oranges!"
"Chika-chan you..."
"Here have some! But don't tell anybody. This is our secret"
After that, we start eating the oranges, and talk about random stuff. I feel better now, talking with my childhood friend like this, it makes me feel like a kid. Chika-chan and me, talking about random stuff while we eat oranges. After a while Chika-chan feels thirsty and says she is going to buy some drinks. Now that I'm alone in the club room I start thinking about the conversation we just had and the conversation I had with Riko-chan and Chika-chan the other day at my house...
"You-chan we have to talk"
Why... Why Chika-chan and Riko-chan are in front of my house?
"I... don't..."
"You-chan, please listen to Chika-chan"
"NO! I don't want to talk right now"
I try my best to close the door, but Chika-chan jumps on me.
"I won't let you run away from us You-chan. I want to talk with you, I want to understand you"
"You-chan, talk with us. We are your friends and we want to support you"
"Chika-chan...Riko-chan..."
Yes... They are right, we need to talk, it's the only way we can understand each other. It's the only way we can be sincere to each other.
"Come in..."
"Thanks You-chan"
They walk in, and I lead the way towards the living room. Since I been absent the whole week and I can't be in my room for long periods of time I spend most of the time in the living until my mom comes home. Also I'm here in the living so I don't forget what I did since this was the last place Yoshiko-chan was. They sit next to each other, I sit in the opposite side, facing them. We sit there, nobody says a words. I can't face them so I just looking at the floor, I just want to believe this is a bad dream, but whenever I look up. I see them, it's real, and I have to face them.
"Why you guys came?"
Somehow I'm able to at least ask that question.
"We are worried You-chan"
"I got scared when you started running out of nowhere You-chan"
"Sorry about that... but I..."
I can't say it, I can't say that I love Chika-chan, not in front of Riko-chan, her girlfriend.
"Then Yocchan started running"
"I don't know what's happening, Yoshiko-chan didn't said something either, she just asked for you"
I see... Yoshiko-chan really cares about me... She didn't mention why I escaped in the first place.
"So you guys came here without knowing"
"Yes, but You-chan..."
Riko-chan stops and Chika-chan continues.
"We want to know what's happening, we care about a lot about you, you are precious to me"
"Chika-chan..."
I'm happy, I am precious to Chika-chan, but not in a romantic way, she loves Riko-chan. And I know Chika-chan will never love me in a romantic way... I start crying, as soon I realize she will never love me, I cry.
"You-chan!"
Both Chika-chan and Riko-chan run towards me and start hugging me.
"Don't cry You-chan"
"Please don't cry, we don't want to see you like this"
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry"
"Why are you apologizing?"
"You-chan don't apologize"
"Please... just today... let me cry"
They start patting my head.
"It's ok, you can cry" Riko-chan says
"I don't like when you cry... But if crying helps you... I will let you cry, just this time" Chika-chan says while kissing my forehead.
Here we are. The girl I love, which happens to be my childhood friend Chika-chan, her girlfriend, which is my classmate and friend Riko-chan, and me, hugging each other while I cry... I never expected to be like this with them... Somehow I don't feel sad at all. After a couple of minutes I stop crying. Riko-chan ask where is the kitchen and walks away looking for water. She comes back with three glasses of water. After we drink our water I prepare myself...
"Chika-chan, Riko-chan, there is something I must tell you"
They don't answer, they are waiting for me to continue.
"Everything started the day Yoshiko-chan was acting strange..."
I started talking about how she started crying that day in my shoulder, how we started talking a lot and spending more time together, somehow I explained our plan to make Hanamaru-chan fall in love with Yoshiko-chan. I had to lie a little bit about what happened after Yoshiko-chan started looking for me, I told them that she found me in the bus stop, we came to my place, and we had a fight. I never mention that I love Chika-chan or what I did to Yoshiko-chan. Also I told them that I skipped this whole week since after my "fight" with Yoshiko-chan I got sick.
"So that happened..."
"You-chan..."
They start thinking about what I just told them. It's too much information and rather complicated. After a while Chika-chan is the first one who starts talking.
"You-chan... Is there something you aren't telling us?"
"!"
"Hey Chika-chan, why you think that?"
"I don't know... But I have a feeling that You-chan is skipping something really important"
"Chika-chan is bad to assume that, right You-chan?"
"She..."
I know. I'm full aware that I haven't said that I love Chika-chan, but how could I do that? I can't just say that I love her in front of her girlfriend... But if I don't say it, then when? I already know the answer, the more I hold back, the worse it gets, it's only pain...
"She is right Riko-chan"
"What do you mean You-chan?"
I stand up... I start walking away, and then I face them. I see both of my dearest friends sitting there. I take my time and then...
"The truth is that I..."
"Don't You-chan"
Before I finish I see Chika-chan in front of me.
"Don't say it if you don't want to. I'm sorry to make you say it"
"Chika-chan..."
I hug her and start crying again. I don't know if Chika-chan already knows, but it's better for me if I don't say it. I don't want to confess my love for Chika-chan like this. After that, the three of us talk until it's 4:45. I told them it's better if they start leaving now, so they can catch a bus. I walk them towards the entrance, both of the hug me and say goodbye. Now that I'm alone I start feeling bad again, it was good to be with them. In the end, I was unable to confess my feelings towards Chika-chan. I think is for the best and I think that Chika-chan already knows that, but she prefers to not bring that topic out. I'm happy that she knows how I feel, even if I never say it properly...
"You-chan?"
"Ah! Chika-chan, you are back"
"I been here for a while. What you were thinking?"
"Oh... I just remembered our talk we had in my place last Friday"
"I see... Did that help? Did Riko-chan and me helped you?"
"Of course you did. I'm happy to have you guys"
"I'm happy to be your friend too You-chan"
"You know, I been thinking a lot, and I think it's time to make a choice"
"Does that means you already have an answer for Yoshiko-chan?"
"I think I do"
"Are you afraid?"
"I don't want to hurt her"
"Don't worry. I know your answer is the correct one"
"Thanks Chika-chan. You and Riko-chan helped me a lot"
"I'm happy that we were useful"
"I have to find Yoshiko-chan"
"Take care You-chan... Good Luck!"
"Thanks Chika-chan"
I start walking towards the exit, we are in the club room. The whole school is in class right now, she could be in class, or she could be in the rooftop. There are a lot of places she could be. I see that Chika-chan wants to stay in the club room and while I'm closing the door I whisper " I love you Chika-chan" I don't know if she was able to hear it or no, that was my way to reassure myself that I love Yoshiko-chan.
"Wait for me Yoshiko-chan"
Here it is! A new chapter of Sinful Love. I didn't expect to finish so fast. I guess having vacation really helps. About the chapter, yes! It's another You's POV chapter, I really like writing in You's perspective, kinda funny since I feel it's different than Yohane's view. Also In this chapter I finally write about the conversation Chika, Riko and You had, I feel sorry since You never confessed to Chika-chan, but sometimes I think is better if you keep that love to yourself. Now I think the next chapter will be the last one, we already know all about You, as I said before I'm planning to write 2 endings, But I don't know if I should write the good one first and then the bad one. I think is better if I finish with the good one, but I want to know you guys opinion, so please, let me know if you prefer the good one first or the bad one.