A/N: For those serious Batman fans out there, I am not even attempting at writing from canon, I have never read a comic book, I have seen the movies, although Dark Knight is the first one to actually move me beyond special effects and into interest in the character (although Val Kilmer was hot)...so basically I'm making it up as I go using the characters as I see them. I don't apologize for the philosophy discussions, and maybe others think different decisions would be made. I'm just exploring some aspects of good and evil, darkness and doubt that make up our lives, and turning it into a "so what would you do in that situation?" conversation. I hope you are enjoying it. Review if you can. I read and respond to them. I appreciate those of you who have put the story on your alerts and favorites. The story earns its M rating in the next chapter. And...here...we...go!

White Queen to Black Knight

Chapter 11

It's so easy, but I can't do it

It's so risky, but I gotta chance it

So funny, there's nothing to laugh about

My money, that's all you wanna talk about

I can see what you want me to be

But that's not true

In the Lap of the Gods…Revisited, Queen

Alfred left Alina and Bruce at the front steps of the mansion. He sadly watched as they despairingly, and seeming overwhelmed, climbed the stairs and entered the house. They didn't speak, and it was almost as if Alina's accurate assessment that if Batman would not kill Joker for Rachel, he would not kill at all, had severed their strengthening bond. Alfred knew she was absolutely correct, and it was perhaps something Master Wayne had not actually been willing to face so directly. He sighed and went to park the Rolls and get lunch ready, although he was sure that Bruce would not eat, and perhaps not Alina either.

Bruce disappeared to somewhere in the giant expanse of mansion. Alina went to her room to shower and remove the grime and filth she had been wallowing in all morning. Before she hit the shower, she began to download the photographs and start the printing. She had one of the finest photo printers with her to actually print the portraits as they would look in the magazine. She would do color correction and other editing later, but for now she wanted to see what she had to work with. She showered, finding herself crying once again, the shower washing her tears away. She had wounded Bruce, possibly irretrievably, pointing out what he did or did not do with the death of Rachel. His line was much lower than hers, and that made him a better person than her, but her higher line made her more effective. But how would Gotham respond to a vigilante heroine willing to kill? And could Batman live with the difference?

She dressed in a bikini and short denim shorts, intending to spend the rest of the afternoon at the pool. She grabbed the prints off the computer, taking them with her to the kitchen for something to eat. While she was terribly afraid and disturbed about Bruce and what she might have done, she still found herself hungry. Juice and a croissant were fine for most days, but today had been unusually traumatic and she needed to eat. Alfred was sitting at the table, looking at her photographs drinking some tea.

Alina smiled at the sight and teased, "Some of those pictures cause you to lose your appetite Alfred?"

"Ah, Alina. I was hoping you might join me. These photographs are stunning. They are like nothing I have ever seen before. Is this tribal man, must be someplace in Africa, really standing behind people he buried in a line? Their heads are just above the sand. They must have died terribly in the heat."

"He was another truly evil man. Those men had allegedly stolen food for their families, and they were killed for it. Part of the horror is that not only were they buried to their necks alive, but their heads were covered in something like honey, attracting ants to eat them while they still lived. I fortunately was not there for that part."

"Alina how can, how could you endure such horror? The pictures depict a level of inhumanity that even I was unaware existed."

Alina swallowed her bite of sandwich, took a drink of water, and then responded to Alfred, "I remember that you, at one time, traveled the world fighting bad men as well. You have seen your share of evil Alfred. And while you are not out there fighting alongside Batman, you see the impact of the evil he faces every time he returns. You sew him up, you counsel him, you believe in him and makes sure he believes in himself. I am afraid I undid some of that today. He still loves Rachel and he still grieves over not saving her. My blunder about not killing Joker may crush whatever progress I had made with him."

"Alina, my dear child, it was something he needed to hear, and he needed to hear it from you. He is so resolute in not killing directly, trying so hard not to be a vigilante, but instead a force for good, he has perhaps lost sight that as a force for good he perhaps should have killed Joker. Joker will remain a threat to Gotham, to Batman, and now certainly to you until he is dead. If anything were to happen to you, he would be lost completely."

"How do you know that Alfred? His mind is closed to me now. He may wish me away because I force him to look at hard truths. That is what I was sent here for. He may not love me, and he may not want to share my bed, but I will do what I was sent to do. He can do amazing things already, but he can be better, he can be a saner, happier man. He is a better man than I could ever be… ok, that didn't come out right… because he refuses to kill, to take a life. That is a good thing. I am much less reluctant, that makes it a much more slippery slope for me. Obviously, refusing and being reluctant are two different things. One is not helpful and causes a danger to the city as a whole and individuals as well, and one takes a real evaluation of your belief set and where your line crosses that X-axis. If refusal to kill regardless is at point (0,0), then where does one fall on the reluctance scale?"

Bruce's voice came from behind her as he crossed through the doors, "You are quite the philosopher aren't you Alina? Even throw a little math in there to help make the point." His voice was angry and his mind was pained. "Should I have killed the Joker? Put us all out of our misery? As you point out, it is only a matter of time before he breaks out of Arkham. It is hardly a high security institute for the likes of him. He knows who you are, and can easily find you. He will come for you, and probably not kill you first, but rape, torture, and disfigure you certainly. Because I love you and did not kill him when I had the chance, will I have your death on my conscience as well as Rachel's and Harvey Dent's?"

Alina turned briefly away from Bruce's anger, pain, and fear that were whipping at her, even through her mind shields. "Alfred thank you for the sandwich. I'll just grab a couple bottled waters and we'll be out by the pool."

She stood from the table, taking the printed proofs with her along with the bottled waters, took Bruce's hand and led him out the kitchen door, through the winding first floor and out to the pool. She chose a huge teak bed lounger with an extra thick cushion and sat on it, bringing Bruce to lie beside her. He was very anxious, angry, frustrated and terrified of losing her. She could feel the emotions even without going into his mind. She turned to face him on her side and he had taken off his shirt and turned to face her on his side.

Surprising Bruce, Alina started to sing. He was expecting her seduction voice, or an argument, or something else, but certainly not for her to start to sing. She was singing softly, stroking his face, neck, and arms very slowly while she never took her eyes off of him. And she could actually sing, even from the sideways lying down position.

"You could say I lost my faith in science and progress
You could say I lost my belief in the holy church
You could say I lost my sense of direction
You could say all of this and worse but

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do

Some would say I was a lost woman in a lost world
You could say I lost my faith in the people on TV
You could say I'd lost my belief in our politicians
They all seemed like game show hosts to me

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do

I could be lost inside their lies without a trace
But every time I close my eyes I see your face

I never saw no miracle of science
That didn't go from a blessing to a curse
I never saw no military solution
That didn't always end up as something worse but
Let me say this first

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do"

If I Ever Lost My Faith in You, Sting

When she finished, he was completely relaxed and his fear and anxiety and anger were no longer whipping at her mind and buffeting her body. She gave him a slight smile which he returned.

"I didn't know you could sing," he whispered, not wanting to break the mood.

She answered him very softly back, "There is a lot you don't know about me Bruce. You didn't really know me when we were kids, even though I was over here every day. You don't know me now. I knew you as a kid because even though you never realized it, my whole world at the time revolved around you. I paid attention, I listened, I watched, I could read your mind. I only know you now because you are such a public figure, both as Bruce Wayne and as Batman, and because I can read your mind. I mean what I sang to you, 'If I ever lose my faith in you, There'd be nothing left for me to do.' Do you want to talk about what you were so angry and frightened about earlier?"

"I don't know Alina. I feel so much better now. You know just how to relax me and take away all those bad feelings. If we start talking about it, they might come back."

"They might, but do you really think you are going to get all twisted up like you were lying here beside me? If we don't talk about them, those feelings and fears will be unspoken but still between us and I don't want that. I don't want you coming into my bed with unresolved difficult and complex issues between us."

Bruce took a deep breath, running his fingers through her almost dry hair, that floral scent she always wore surrounding him. "Ok. I got angry and shut you out earlier today because you thought I should have killed Joker over Rachel. And that is just not the way I think. And I really didn't want to hear that if I wouldn't kill Joker over his killing her, then I would not kill under any circumstances. Because that isn't true, I just hadn't realized it. You were right when you were talking to Alfred, when you questioned if Batman would kill Joker when he gets out if he took you. And in my mind, the only answer I keep coming up with is that yes, absolutely without hesitation. I have been unyielding in my determination not to kill. But I guess I would under certain circumstances. I just don't understand why I didn't when he killed Rachel. I was devastated. I had planned to marry her, and she was going to wait for me until Batman could stand down, but apparently, listening to Two-Face today, she had already agreed to marry him and just hadn't told me yet. I know he was telling the truth too. I'm not as good as you are at it yet, but I pulled the truth from his thoughts."

Alina stretched her arm out to stroke his troubled brow. "I'm sorry you didn't know. That was a terrible way to find out. Bruce you are still not over Rachel, not loving her, not her death. I'm not sure where that leaves us. But let's table that discussion for now, and stay on topic. You know what I realized today after you disappeared and I thought that was that with us? That line I keep talking about, the math equation you snarled at, yours is lower than mine, which truly makes you a better person. Mine is higher, which might make me more effective, but certainly not a good person and on a slippery slope indeed. And can Bruce Wayne and Batman live with a woman and a White Queen that is perhaps not quite as upstanding as the Dark Knight, less worthy of hero status? And if Gotham gives Batman such an impossibly difficult time, even though he is doing good, being the hero they need, is Gotham ready for a truly vigilante heroine who is willing to kill? I will kill Joker if he escapes, because his only purpose in life is to destroy, and he may come after me first. He does not even have to be doing something wrong or evil. I would kill him as a preventative measure. I suppose if I am caught, I would go to jail and be vilified in the streets. Funny the way Gotham treats their heroes. How do you feel about that?" Her voice was loaded with apology and shame and yet still clarity of purpose.

"I think that maybe you were sent to me because we both have to be responsible for balancing the other. You move me off of the refusal line and I keep you from sliding down that slippery slope of decreasing reluctance. You may have to race me to kill Joker if he escapes though." Alina smiled at his little joke. Things were definitely getting better. "And as far as getting caught, you haven't been so far, you usually kill from far away, and we have billions and billions of dollars between us. We can bankrupt the whole city if they seriously would plan to prosecute, which I don't think they would, either one of us. We need to get you equipped though. I'll have to get Lucius to come to the mansion. We have to minimize your time at Wayne Enterprises. Maybe we can make you a white costume that changes like a chameleon against different backgrounds. And all the other equipment, we have a lot to do."

"I know Special Forces have been using material that adapts to the environment. That is a really good idea. White at night would show up like fireworks on the Fourth of July. So are we good? Now that your brain is off working on costuming and equipment, I'm sensing all that angst and fear and frustration is gone now."

"Yeah, we've talked through it all. I'm good with where we are. I will always fear for you just as you fear for me, but I've been testing you the whole time you've been here, and your display with Joker cinched it. You are no damsel in distress. What we haven't talked about is Rachel."

"You know, baby. I'm kind of talked and thought out for now. Can we just nap for a while before we tackle that one? And I still haven't gotten to look at my proofs!" Alina clearly did not want to have this discussion. This time it was her fear and frustration that buffeted Bruce's mind.

"Alina, there really isn't that much to talk about, so let me just say a few things to put your mind at rest, because it clearly isn't right now. I did love Rachel. You have known that since high school. I planned to marry her at one point in time, which apparently was not reciprocated. She died in a terrible situation that I will regret always, regardless of fault. But that is all in the past Alina. I love you. I am utterly and completely in love with you. You are my other half, you complete me. I will not give you up under any circumstances. And I want to have children with you. As soon as you get pregnant, the Bat suit gets hung up, as of course does the Queen. Do you need to hear anything else? Was I clear?"

"Are you still planning on our evening together?"

Bruce laughed, a very sexual and intimate laugh. His mind sent her many images rapid fire of what he planned for the night. She was breathless when he was done, kissed him fiercely, gracefully got up from the lounge bed, dropping her shorts on the ground. And in her sex filled voice she softly said, "I think I need a cold shower after that, but the pool will do. What about you baby?" She caressed his evident hard-on. Bruce laughed again and followed her into the pool where they got started preparing for their evening activities.