Chapter Eleven:
Seven o'clock approached without much event. Carter, Newkirk, Hogan and Olsen, all wearing their best clothes, walked towards the party in Klink's quarters.
"Now remember, men, feel free to praise the German army and basically say whatever bologna you think the propaganda ministry wants to hear. It will make Major Braun happy, at least until he discovers the film is missing." Hogan smiled and knocked on the door.
"Ah, Hogan! Come in, come in! Would any of you like anything to drink?" Klink perfectly played the part of the charming host as Major Braun began to roll the film.
The room was decorated beautifully. There were evergreen wreaths and boughs, a few scarce paper snowflakes, and strands of popcorn. There was a large table in the center of the room, completely loaded with food. There was lebkuchen, stollen, reisbrei, several pies, sugar cookies, plum pudding, pumpkin bread, and cranberry sauce, all made with only small amounts of sugar as it was expensive to buy in the black market. Potatoes prepared at least four ways, per request of Klink, and But sitting in the center of the table was the piece de resistance. A large stuffed goose, baked to perfection. The prisoners' mouths watered from simply looking at it.
"So, you have abandoned all hope of escape, correct?" Major Braun asked
"It's not that we have abandoned hope, it's that we don't want to escape." Hogan said, truthfully
"We've realized that there's no point in resisting an empire as powerful and widespread at that of Germany." Newkirk added.
"We have seen the error of our ways." Olsen said, almost too sincerely, as he looked at the feast that was spread out before them.
"Yeah, we've learned that, even though we're enemies, it doesn't mean we can't be friends." Carter said
"I agree completely!" Schultz said, flamboyantly stepping in front of the camera, holding a glass of schnapps in one hand and a rather large cookie in the other.
"Please move away from the camera, no one wants to see an old, fat, half drunk sergeant in a propaganda film!" Burkhalter said from his half reclined position on the couch.
"How about an old, fat, half drunk General?" Hogan said with a smile.
"Hogan!" Klink said, turning red.
The party continued for several hours. Major Braun would tape anything he felt would make a good propaganda film, but for the most part, he simply ate and drank as much as he could. At around ten thirty, Hogan stood up to make an announcement.
"Now, gentlemen, may I present to you the Stalag 13 Singers! They have been practicing their Christmas caroling all week and would now like to demonstrate their talents."
"Very good, Hogan, you may send for your men." Burkhalter said, sitting in the same position as he had for the majority of the party. Hogan saluted and walked out of the door.
"This is wunderbar! I am so happy that I checked my camera for film earlier today! How unfortunate would it have been if I had been filming all day with an empty camera." Major Braun said, setting up his tripod once more.
"W-wait. When did you check your camera?" Newkirk said, his eyes wide with worry.
"Just after I got it out of the rec hall, and believe me, I'm glad I did. My promotion is almost assured. Imagine…Colonel Braun. It has a nice ring to it." The old major said in an almost Klink like voice. Just after this, Hogan entered the room, followed by Kinch, Baker, LeBeau, who was still wearing his chef's attire, and a dozen other prisoners.
"So, are we ready for the music?" Hogan said, taking his seat between Newkirk and Carter.
"You may begin." Major Braun said, rolling the film. The choir began to sing a popular new song called White Christmas. Newkirk pulled at Hogan's sleeve to get his attention.
"Yes?" Hogan asked, grinning widely
"We 'ave some trouble guv'nor. Major Braun has film in his camera. He checked the camera after I lifted the film and was able to replace it." Newkirk said, urgently. The smile immediately fell from Hogan's face. He sat back in his chair, deep in thought.
"We're going to have to destroy the film." Hogan said, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"How are we going to do that?" Carter asked
"Newkirk, how many of those crackers did you make?" Hogan asked
"About seventy."
"Carter, do you think that you can rig the tree to fall over in a certain direction?"
"A kindergartener could do that, Colonel."
"Good. If we do this correctly, we might just pull it off." Hogan turned his attention back to the choir for a second. "Carter, go get the tree ready. Newkirk, grab your crackers and leave them in a box outside. I'll remain in here until the end of the performance." Newkirk and Carter nodded and, a few minutes later, inconspicuously rose and left the building.