Hey guys, the update is here as usual. Some of you said that you are dreading that this might turn into a Dair fanfic, need I remind you that it's a Nair story? :DD I'm a hardcore Waldibald and there's no way I'll ever be anything more. But as I said before, Dair fans will get their satisfaction also. So before this gets longer than the actual chapter as per usual, I should get to the story. Enjoy and don't forget to leave a review!

This is a pretty strong and emotional chapter, like the other ones to come.

I do not own any songs or characters used, just the ideas.

Life's too short to even care at all
I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control

He never truly understood those depressive lifeless people that would just stare through the window for hours, watching the world go by. Today he did. it was exactly what he felt like doing.

The shades of gray painting the New York skyline were like an inside look of his soul right now, lifeless, pointless.

The glass finally steamed off, a result of how cold it really was in the room, not just his heart. He could see his drained out presence and instantly felt sick.

And there he thought only Vicodin could make him feel numb.

The deadly silence surrounding him was a further reminder of how alone he really was. Only now and then you could hear a "beep"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was the worst and most depressing sound ever. Even though the beeping sound was a relatively good thing, he just wanted it shut down. A little part of him even dared to think of what a relief would a long unbroken '' beep'' sound bring.

Here he was, staring out of the goddamn window, letting it absorb his pain. The only reason he was doing it, was the fear that if he turned around, he would be forced to face reality. And he just couldn't cope with that right now.

Then out of nowhere a snowflake. The most fragile little snowflake falls from way up high and slowly melts with the reflecting glass.

Blair would be thrilled.

Blair.

The one who would stood by him through everything.

The one he only ever truly loved.

The one who was probably freaking in and out of her head right now.

And he couldn't even return her calls or tell her that it's okay.

That's cause it's not okay. Nothing is okay. And it's like Blair hasn't been through enough drama with him already. So he decides to let it slide. If he only knew he was building towards a disaster.

Just about then the sound he dreaded for fills the room. And he's not alone anymore.

The cold room fills with noise, everyone around him is freaking out, talking rapidly, making crazy movements. And he can't even flinch.

Even when the woman grabs his hand, pulling him away, he doesn't even budge.

''Sir you've got to leave the room, I promise we'll do our best to save your father, just let us do our job''

So he lets go and leaves that god awful room.

His phone rings once again, and he can't answer, he just can't. Like she didn't do enough for him already. Besides if she was here, he was sure he would break down completely, that's just the affect she had on him. And he needed to be strong now. For his mother, for his father, for himself. For Blair.

''Damn it'' she said and threw her phone away from her in frustration.

''Blair have you seen-'' Robin emerged as always. She turned her back to her and blinked rapidly, trying to seem as normal as possible

''What's wrong?'' she couldn't fool her. She never really could

''Nothing'' she said turning around and passing her a fake smile ''why would something be wrong?''

''Were you crying''

''No'' she said straight ahead ''I'm just a little emotional, no reason'' her phone buzzed and excite her immediately. Her pupils dilated as she grabbed it right ahead hoping it was Nate.

It wasn't. it was Dan. She declined the call and threw her phone back.

''What was that all about''' Robin asked raising her eyebrow

''What was what all about? You know what, never mind. Just leave me alone,okay?'' she hissed and closed herself into her bedroom bathroom.

She heard a light knock.

''I said please leave me alone'' she pleaded

''No'' Robin replied seriously ''You're my sister and something is obviously wrong. I'm not leaving until you say what it is''

She knew there was no way out now. And she could use someone to talk to. Someone to convince her Nate wasn't doing it on purpose. Someone to set her brain straight and calm her down.

''I haven't heard from Nate in two days'' she said sadly and opened the door letting Robin in. She sat down on the cold marble floor next to her. ''He hasn't been in school. He isn't returning my calls. I don't know where he is or is he okay….I'm….I'm losing my mind Robin-'' she broke in to cry

''Shhh'' she put her arms around her fragile younger sister ''Maybe it's nothing. Maybe he just needs some time to think or something. Did you have a fight maybe?''

''No. everything was fine-'' but it wasn't. Blair was dreading for the worst. What if this had something to do with his former "drug problem" or his father or… she was so scared for him. And he was giving her nothing. ''-I'm just afraid he's going to hurt himself'' she said and stood up going to her room.

Robin stared after her, utterly confused ''Hurt himself, what the hell are you talking about Blair?''

''Nothing, just please…leave me alone'' she breathed out before pulling her comforter over herself. She just wanted isolation and Nate, at least she could have one thing. Unfortunately it wasn't the one she was hoping to score.

She needed a distraction. Then she remembered Dan called her a moment ago. She took her cell out and called him back. Anything to get her mind off of Nate.

''Hello'' he asked excitedly. He almost choke on the water he was previously drinking when he saw she was calling

''Hey….you called?'' she asked. Her voice was down. He could only imagine that Nate asshole doing something with it

''Yes. But hey, what's wrong?'' he couldn't help but feel concern

''Nothing'' why was everyone suddenly so concerned for her, it's not like they usually care. But wait. Nate does…and where is Nate now? Nobody the fuck knows.

''Well I just called to ask if you want to hang out if you're free or something'' it took all the courage he could muster to ask her, even though he knew she was going to reject him. Why? Nathanial Fucking Perfect Archibald

''Oh….I'm not really in the mood right now. I'm pretty down. Some other time though. As friends of course.''

''Yeah sure'' as friends….as friends

''Well…bye'' she said sadly and hung up

She spent the next few minutes starring at her windows, not even looking out, just starring. Then it started snowing. She couldn't love a thing more. But right now she hated it, she hated everything around her. She hated this bed, her room, the snow, everyone around her.

She desperately took her phone and decided to call him one last time. She was as miserable as it gets… she was miserable without him.

''Nate'' she said and threw her arms around him. She was getting in to the habit and Nate didn't like it one bit. He just couldn't bother to care right now.

He smiled poorly and continued to pointlessly stare at the irritating grey walls.

''My dad told me. Is he okay? What did they say?'' she took a seat next to his and took his hand in hers. He looked down and pulled his hand back, slowly breaking her heart. If she did have one.

'' He had a heart attack… they put him on some kind of treatment now… it's not even accurate if it's going to work… they are fighting for his life'' he said without emotion and stood up abruptly

''I just need a walk, you'll be okay here, right?'' and he left her there, before hearing her answer

Not a minute after his phone rang. Seeing who was calling him she knew exactly what to do

''Hello?'' she said, faking happiness

No. No. No. This wasn't happening. No.

''I…I….Is Nate here'' she was already on the verge of her tears. The blonde on the other side could hear it. She didn't care on slight. That bitch stole her prince, it was time to get him back

''No, it's Serena. I mean this is his phone. He left it here-'' it wasn't convincing enough ''-in my apartment'' that was

Blair was breaking inside out. Not in a million years she though he was going to do that to her.

''Oh…where is he?'' she said trying to sound as sharp and normal as possible, but failed

''He's in the shower. I'll tell him to call back'' she said, her voice pure sugar

''Don't'' she hissed and hung up.

There was just one thing to take care of. She opened the phone up and took the battery out. It was wrong, she knew it was. But she was just getting back what was once hers. Nate appeared looking as glum as he was before. She quickly hid the battery in her pocket and slipped his phone back to his seat. He was too exhausted to even notice

''You look really tired…maybe you should go home with me and get some rest'' she suggested, sending him another fake smile

''I'm not going anywhere. Especially not with you. Stop trying to play it off like we're fine, we're not. Would you just leave…please'' he said sharply.

She stood up and nodded, she was clearly pissed off.

''Suit yourself''

''Blair?''' he asked hopefully, still trying to live with the fact that this is the second time she called him today. He could barely hide his excitement

''I changed my mind. I want to go out'' her voice was weird. She sounded really angry, but there was pure sadness obvious in that voice.

''What made you change your mind?'' why was he even asking, he should just say he would pick her up and that's it

''That's not important. So are you in or what''

''Pick you up in 20''

Nate Archibald took two months and three days of her life away, all of those, she spent at least 10 hours crying ( counting the last three hours of not being able to breathe and live with the fact that he probably cheated on her), he took away hours and hours of sleep, and any chance at having a normal life from her. It was time to take it back.

So she wiped the running mascara of her face and the ache in her heart away. The person she loved more than anything ruined her. Well….two can play that game

Just as she was about to start a war, a sound she was waiting for two whole days and nights filled the room. The name displayed on the screen? No other than Nate Archibald

What do you do now?

Sort of a cliff hanger. If you'd like to read more, please leave a review. Till the next chapter xo