Chapter 11 – Shopping Trip – Continued!

"You need a size up," Kelly advised quietly, as she scrutinized the casual pants that the Regent had just tried on.

Merlin snorted with laughter, trying to maintain some composure. "See, Arthur? I told you it was time to cut back on the sausage!"

Arthur shot Merlin a look that clearly said 'shut up' and simultaneously tried to pull his gut in to make the pair of size thirty-two men's khakis fit the way they were supposed to. He was not opposed to taking his love's very sound advice, but he would be damned if his servant was going to get away with poking fun at him.

With a tight smile, he turned and faced the man from Ealdor. "Since you seem to have so much free time on your hands, Merlin, go fetch me these same trousers with a thirty-four waist. And if you find them, I want the black pair as well." Impatience oozed from his concisely spoken words. "Hurry up. We have an hour before the stores close, and we all know just how slow you can be, idiot."

Arthur's command was met with more than a few strange looks from passing patrons, a couple of looks of disgust. Who was this man to be so rude to his friends? They seemed to be thinking.

Pouting a bit, Merlin did as ordered. He left the dressing area to wander the clothing racks and tables all throughout The Gap at Santa Monica's busy shopping centre.

Carefully looking through a stack of the aforementioned trousers, the warlock barely looked up as somebody stopped beside him. When he did raise his eyes, he stopped breathing for the barest of moments.

There stood the most familiar woman he'd ever seen in his life! She was the doppelganger for Freya, but her eyes were lined with a pretty turquoise colour. Her long brown hair was down about her shoulders in loose ringlets. She wore a headset and a name tag, and he glanced at that out of sheer curiosity.

When she finished folding carelessly strewn pants, she looked up and flashed the warlock a blinding smile. "Hi, there!" she chirped. "Can I help you look for something, sir?"

No, it wasn't Freya. She had a strong American accent, though not as southern sounding as the Colonel's own Texan drawl. Merlin blinked at her image, coming down from a bit of a daze. "Uh, um, no," he stuttered. "Thank you." With several deep breaths, the manservant found what he was looking for and returned to his Master's changing room.

There she was, cheerfully addressing both Kelly and Arthur, nodding at something the Doctor said before dashing off. Merlin watched her with a lost-puppy expression all across his face. He snapped to attention when Arthur called his name again, and he handed the Prince the casual pants. "Sorry," he mumbled, his head swivelling toward the departing woman.

"Merlin, stop gawking at the woman," Arthur ordered quietly. "You're bound to make her slightly uncomfortable with all that staring." He gave his servant a reproving glare before going back into the change room. He shut the door.

"Yes, Sire." Merlin had never told Arthur about Freya, not even after the Prince had learned about the fact that Merlin was born with magic. There was so much that Arthur just did not know about...

Once Arthur was sorted with two pairs of pants and a few tees, Kelly moved on to deal with Gwaine.

Dressing that man turned into a bit of a comedy act. If she was looking at his profile, the black-haired knight would waggle his eyebrows at her suggestively. When she had shown him how to check the fit of modern pants, by inserting two fingers' width into the front of his trousers, he burst out, "My Lady, we should not be engaging in such dalliances in public!" This, of course, was said loudly enough for everyone to hear, and Kelly jumped back in embarrassment, glaring at her friend.

Gwaine, of course, was giggling helplessly in knowing that he had riled not only the fiery little redhead, but Arthur as well. He swore he'd heard a fist hit the wall near the change area's entrance, and he knew he heard the Prat utter a string of cursewords. Score!

Merlin had been considerably easier to fit and to deal with, as he simply followed Kelly's advice on what to wear. Still, when he stepped out in his own pair of khakis, he grinned smugly at his master, who stood with crossed arms by the mirrors. "Imagine that—I'm about a thirty waist."

"And nary a muscle to be seen," Arthur retorted. When Kelly gave him a sharp glance, he bowed his head to avoid her angry glare. "Sorry. It's what I do." He looked up when he was sure her attention was elsewhere, and he grinned in childish glee. She was beautiful when she was angry. It was best to keep that thought to himself...

~.~.~

Fitting all the boys with proper twenty-first century attire had been a frustrating, quirky, sometimes hilarious task. More than a few times Kelly had fought to keep a very business-like demeanour, while explaining to three grown men why they needed this or what would happen if they didn't wear that—and that ugly Hawaiian shirts were to be left on the rack or to be burned. End of story.

Kelly had decided it was time to feed her guests, as they were getting a little unruly and snappish.

Gwaine and Merlin goofed around on the escalator beside the food court, essentially acting like children, only ceasing the races up and down the moving staircase when a burly Security officer told them in not-so-polite terms to knock it off. They did, begrudgingly, and returned to the table where Arthur and Kelly sat talking over a pizza and drinks.

Gwaine sat down beside his Prince and grinned widely. "Seeing as you've had trouble with your fitting," he drawled slowly, reaching for a slice of the Hawaiian pizza, "I'll just save you from yourself, 'Princess!" He had tasted this amazing food on the day previous, and it was just way too good! If only he had a tankard of mead to accompany the meal...

Arthur growled his annoyance at the Knight, muttering, "I don't even know what size I was to start with, you imbecile..." Sizes, he thought, shaking his head. What does it matter?

Gwaine let his eyes study the Prince for a moment and shrugged. "You've been packing it on for a while, Sire. Too much breakfast on your plate, perhaps?" He forced a straight face, shrugging his shoulders.

"For the last time, I am not FAT!" Arthur bellowed, his fists striking the table in anger.

Heads turned to stare at the man openly, amusement on the faces of many. Arthur's face went red with embarrassment and he released a forced, steady breath. They were like those fish he had read about; Piranha. They found a chink in the Regent's armour and openly exploited it. Mercilessly.

Arthur turned his head and narrowed his eyes at the manservant. "So, Merlin, who was that woman over in the store? You followed her around for several minutes...Just a tad on the 'creepy' side, if you ask me."

A bit taken aback, Merlin straightened in his seat and mumbled, "Nobody." Some secrets were just best left in their quiet state...

A/N:

There it is, the much-promised second instalment of the shopping trip! It's just a short blurb, I know, but it made me laugh writing it. I hope you enjoy it, too!

Hey—for all you Canadians—Happy belated Canada Day! My family took in face-painting, park time, a bouncy castle (for the youngest), ate barbequed meals with a lovely flag-adorned cake for desert, and last but not least...FIREWORKS! That, my friends, was a great way to ring in Summer. I hope my fellow Canadians had as much fun or better.

To our American cousins, a belated HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! (Independence Day). I do hope you had a wonderful time yourselves.

If' I've missed any other celebrations, my apologies. But I hope you've had fun. :D

...There. I think I covered the bases...

Up Next:

We'll watch our beloved Colonel give the Knights of Camelot Basic Military Training exercises...