Author's note: The reviews I got for the last chapter were wonderfully engaging and intelligent. Thanks, all! It makes me feel good to write something that can inspire such thoughtful responses.
Ah, I remember writing this chapter. ^^ Hang on, guys. We're almost there.
Mind Wrapped
Beautiful Illusion
Late that night, Paulina lay on Danny's bed. Delphine had told her that she had only to wish to return to her normal self when she was ready, but…
She wasn't ready. Not yet.
But what more did she need to do? She had found exactly what she needed to know.
There was something she wanted to do first, something she was afraid that if she didn't do now, she wouldn't get the chance to later.
She lay on Danny's bed contemplating, wondering if she should go through with it.
She wondered if Danny Fenton could ever really like her. Sure, he had used her name as his password, and she had read about herself several times in his journal entries, but what did that really mean? Did he like her, or her looks?
Well, what was there for him to like about her besides her looks? All she ever did was taunt him, debase him, insult him. Any kind thing she had said to him had a selfish ulterior motive behind it, and Danny was apparently well aware of it after he had so easily resisted her advances just a couple days ago.
She recalled the references made to her in Danny's journal entries. There was one time when she was apparently overshadowed by a ghost named Kitty and dated him for a short while. She had wondered what had happened during that time, why everyone insisted that she had been dating him when she had no memory of it. All she could remember was the ghost boy saving her, and from that moment on, she was completely in love with Danny Phantom.
Completely in love with…Danny Fenton…
Danny wrote about how he had legitimately enjoyed dating her when he thought she was Paulina, that they had fun together, that she was sweet to him. He only stopped enjoying it when he found out that she was not actually Paulina at all.
Paulina's in love with me now, but with the wrong me! Danny had remarked ironically at the end of it. It was obviously meant to be humorous, but Paulina wondered if he was disappointed, if he was troubled by her only liking one half of him.
But it seemed to be something he dealt with regularly. Even his own parents hated half of him. Judging by some of his entries, that seemed to affect him pretty deeply, but he generally managed to stay positive. She had to admire that confidence, that determination.
Danny had said other things about her here and there. They were mostly asides that actually had no bearing on the important ghostly details of his entries, but it was as if he couldn't help himself, as if he simply had to mention her…
As if…he really did like her…?
Paulina looked so pretty. I really wish I didn't have to take back the amulet because it looked amazing on her.
I looked so stupid! I'll never have a chance with Paulina now. But man, did she pull off Sam's trademark look…but I'll never tell Sam that.
Paulina looked really sad today, but I couldn't bring myself to say something to her. She probably would've just told me to get lost.
I know Paulina only invited me so that Danny Phantom would show up, but I didn't care. It was still an opportunity to be at a party with her.
Sam complained about having to sleep in the same room as Paulina, but all I could think about was how lucky she was…
Paulina hugged me! As Phantom, but still, it felt amazing. But I want her to like the real me, not just Phantom, so I can't take advantage of this.
But he also said things like this about other girls, most notably Valerie and even Sam, so did these comments really mean anything? Or was Danny only infatuated with her, had no actual feelings beyond lust for her?
Did she even deserve any other feelings from him?
The last two entries from the nights before Delphine worked her strange ghostly magic to switch Paulina's life with Danny's were perhaps the most revealing, but Paulina still wasn't sure. He wrote about meeting Paulina in the elementary school soccer field, how he was worried that she would figure out his secret. The entry was mostly filled with concern, but there seemed to be a great amount of longing, too.
She really pulled me in, and I actually did want to kiss her. She looked so beautiful, her voice and words so flattering. She really does seem to like me…er, Phantom, that is. I wish she could like Fenton, too.
I have to tell Sam and Tucker about this, about Paulina seeing my last name on the Thermos. Sam's not going to be happy…well, I just won't tell her about the almost-kiss.
Paulina had to chuckle at that last part. Sam really was a jealous girl, it seemed.
The entry from the night right before the switch contained the same sentiment.
Paulina tried to kiss me again, but it felt different this time. This time, I didn't want to return the kiss. Well, I mean, I guess part of me did, but not like that. I could tell she just wanted something. I wish that something was me, the real me, not Phantom. But I really should give up. Like she's told me so many times, I don't have a chance with her.
She wondered if Danny really believed that last line. Did he honestly think he wasn't good enough for her? She wanted to correct this immediately, wanted to pull him close to her and assure him that he most certainly was good enough for her, that he always had been, that she had been too narcissistic and vain to see it, that it was actually her who wasn't good enough for him.
But she could be good for him now. She was sure she could be.
She had to see him. She had to go to him right away. She finally made up her mind as she hopped off Danny's bed and moved to his window.
She didn't want to wait for Delphine. She didn't want to wait until she was herself again. If she didn't do this now, perhaps she wouldn't get the chance later. She had tried kissing him twice now, after all, and she had failed each time.
But she knew she couldn't possibly fail this time.
She focused her thoughts and felt her body change, transform. Infused with otherworldly energy, she willed her molecules to become intangible and soared out into the night air. It still felt alien to her, the most peculiar feeling of weightlessness and yet intense power, but it also felt wonderfully miraculous. She flew up into the diamond sky.
Incredible. Was this ordinary to Danny now, or did he still marvel at what he was able to experience that no other human could?
She could've danced through that sea of stars all night, but there was somewhere she wanted to be even more, someone she wanted to be with more than anyone else.
And she knew exactly where he was.
As she approached her house, her real house, she could see that all of the lights were off. She knew it was late and that everyone was asleep, but she had to see Danny now. She knew he wouldn't mind once he saw her, not while he possessed her thoughts and desires. After all, Danny Phantom visiting her in the night was always a fantasy of hers.
She floated up to her bedroom window. She became intangible and drifted through the glass and curtains. She landed on the floor of her bedroom and looked around, her spectral glow gently illuminating the nearest surroundings. Everything looked exactly as it always did: her dresser, her vanity, her photos, her lamp, her bed.
There was only one thing different, one thing she had never seen in her room before, one thing that she wished could stay and never leave.
Paulina approached her canopy bed and gazed at the boy who was sleeping under her covers. She held her breath as she beheld the sight. He looked so tranquil, so handsome.
So kissable…
Paulina knelt down beside the bed so she could be at eye level with him. His breathing was even and calm. She pushed a lock of dark hair off his forehead so she could see him better, could admire him more fully.
Danny stirred. Paulina jumped back several feet, not expecting her gentle touch to wake him. She watched Danny's eyes flutter open, blink in confusion, and widen in astonishment. He raised his upper body, supporting himself on one arm. "Ghost—!"
Paulina put a finger to her lips to shush him, and Danny obeyed her silent command. She didn't want to hear him call her "ghost boy." No, that would spoil the moment.
He gawked at her for a moment before turning his body and getting off the bed. He stood before her, seemingly not sure what to do. Paulina was sure he had so many questions, but he remained quiet as he studied her.
Paulina took in the whole sight, her white glow falling on him. He was wearing a thin pink shirt and pants that looked somewhat similar to the nightgown she usually wore, but it had changed to fit his build and style, made him look masculine and adorable all at once.
They stood at a distance in silence for awhile. Paulina was not sure how long, but time seemed to stand still in that moment.
At last, Danny slowly moved toward her. Paulina watched him but made no movement herself as he drew closer. She could feel her pulse quickening, her body quivering.
He stopped when he was just a few inches from her. He looked into her eyes, his expression inquisitive, his mouth partly open as if he was in a trance. Paulina could now clearly see a pink tinge in his face.
He had never looked more enticing than he did now.
Paulina put both of her white gloved hands in his hair and stared at him intently. He seemed surprised, but he did not fight her. She closed her eyes and placed her mouth against his. She felt him tense but then quickly loosen with a soft moan. He wrapped his arms around her, returning the kiss with an equal amount of passion.
His warmth, his texture, his taste…
Elation, ecstasy, exaltation.
She pulled him even closer so that she could feel his heart pounding against hers. She ran her gloved fingers over his face, down his neck, across his shoulders. How she wished she could actually feel him against bare fingertips, tear off this jumpsuit and know what his skin really felt like.
If she could just change back…
But no, she couldn't do that. It would shock him, probably completely ruin the moment. No, she had to stay this way if she wanted it to last, to end well. She realized that she was essentially kissing herself, but he looked and felt like Danny. It felt real.
She opened one eye just a bit and glanced at their reflection in her vanity mirror. She saw herself in a pink nightgown kissing a boy with white hair. No matter how anyone saw this, this was a real kiss between Paulina and the ghost boy. Paulina was kissing Danny Phantom.
And Danny Fenton.
Paulina could feel her desire rising, piquing. She wanted to throw him on her bed and climb on top of him. She knew that he would let her since he currently had Paulina's yens and urges. He would let her go as far as she wanted.
But these weren't the right circumstances for that.
She pulled away with a gasp and stared at him. Danny stared back at her, breathing heavily, smiling with those lovely lips of his.
She had to leave now if she wanted to resist this temptation.
Soundlessly, Paulina managed to tear her eyes away from the most gorgeous sight she had ever seen and intangibly flew out through the closed window. She tried to catch her breath as she soared through the cool night air. There were no words she could use to describe that moment, nothing but sensory memories.
She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. She never wanted this feeling to go away.
"How was it?"
Startled, Paulina opened her eyes to see Delphine flying on her back below her, her hands behind her head.
"How was what?" asked Paulina uneasily.
"You know what I'm talking about," said Delphine with a knowing simper.
Paulina pouted in slight embarrassment.
"The switch, of course! Did you find out what you wanted?"
Paulina gave Delphine an awry glance. "Well, seeing as I'm currently a ghost, yeah, I would say I did."
Delphine laughed heartily. "Didn't see that coming, huh?" Delphine righted herself and flew beside Paulina. "No one would ever suspect that cute little Danny Fenton is the dashing hero of this town."
"No," said Paulina with a frown. "I certainly didn't." She looked at Delphine seriously. "And yet, it was so obvious."
"Human nature. Humans won't believe anything they think is impossible until it's proven beyond a doubt to them." Delphine smiled. "And even then, they don't always believe."
"Humans? As opposed to ghosts?"
"All us ghosts have known since the beginning that Phantom was only half-ghost," said Delphine nonchalantly. "We're used to what might seem impossible to humans."
"Oh." Paulina looked ahead as she reflected on this.
"Are you ready to switch back?"
Paulina nodded. "Yes."
"What you do from here is entirely up to you," said Delphine.
Paulina was quiet for a moment. "Do you think I deserve him now?"
"That's for you to decide."
Delphine changed her angle and flew away, disappearing form view as she turned invisible. Paulina watched her fade away, then flew the rest of the way to Danny's room where she changed back and climbed into his bed.
As she fell asleep, her mind relived her kiss with Danny. Perhaps it wasn't actually real, not when they weren't really themselves, but it was a beautiful illusion nevertheless.
(Uploading next Tuesday: What He Needs [alternate endings one and two])
