We've decided that the campsite is unsafe, so we're moving on.

I'm writing this as we travel.

The incident at the campsite last night has left myself and the others shaken.

I'm worried about Andrea. Amy's death seems to have broken her.

Morales and his family decided to leave the group and go on to Birmingham, to try to find relatives they have there. There was nothing we could do to talk them out of it, so we said our good-byes. All of us will miss them, and Carl and Sophia will especially miss Louis and Eliza.

Jacqui discovered that Jim was bitten last night. Since there were rumours that the CDC was working on a cure, we've decided to go there, in hopes of finding safety, security, answers, and help. The last update Dale gave us on Jim was that he wasn't doing good.

Daryl doesn't think Jim will make it through the ride, that Jim will die before we get to the CDC. At camp when the bite was announced, Daryl tried to kill him. 'Zero tolerance for walkers,' he had said. Although I agree with that statement, Jim is still alive, still human. We wouldn't be killing a walker, we would be killing Jim.

Daryl has been in a worse mood than usual, and he's been negative about everything today. I know that he wasn't happy about leaving without finding Merle, so I don't understand why he chose to come with us anyway.

We are out of food, and we have very little water, with no way of getting more, and we still have hours before we get to the CDC.

I haven't truly been scared since the beginning of the outbreak, when my neighbors started running around, ripping each other's throats out, and not even when I faced that walker in the department store while trying to find Merle, which was my first time killing a walker. But now, after our camp was attacked and my friends killed, on the open road with no food or water and our fuel supply disappearing more and more with every mile, and Jim dying, I am scared.

I'm scared of running out of fuel and everyone being forced to walk, open to attack. I'm scared of not making it to the CDC in time to possibly save Jim's life.

But I can't let it show, because everyone else is scared, and I have to try to keep people from panicking.

Closing my journal with a snap, I put it back in my bag at my feet.

"How're you doing?" T-Dog asked.

"Better."

To save on fuel, I had to leave my truck behind. It made me sad to leave it, since it had sentimental value, but there was no other choice. I couldn't take many people with me if I kept it and another vehicle broke down, because it seated only three people. I hoped that it wouldn't be damaged, because as soon as the plague was over, I would go back and get it.

I had opted to ride with T-Dog and Jacqui, even though I was given the option of going with Dale, Glenn, Andrea, and Jim in Dale's RV. I didn't want to be around too many people in case I broke down again.

"What about you?" I asked of him.

He lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. "I'm not gonna lie, last night was scary. It's gonna take a while for some of us to shake off the shock of it. Especially Andrea."

I nodded in agreement. "We all lost someone close to us last night."

"Except for Carol." At my look of question, he explained, "She doesn't seem too upset that Ed's dead."

"I can't say that I blame her," I said, reaching for my water bottle before remembering that it was empty. I tore my eyes away from it and looked out the window at the passing trees.

"Neither can I."

Suddenly Dale's voice came over the radio, telling us that Jim couldn't take much more, that he was in a lot of pain, and he needed a break.

T-Dog pulled off to the side of the road, and we got out of the van.

Rick went inside the RV to talk to Jim.

After several minutes, Rick came back out and told us that Jim was finished, that he had given up and wanted to be with his family again, who had all died in the beginning of the outbreak. Rick assured us that, although Jim had been delusional before, he was sure that this time he was lucid.

I stayed silent while everyone talked it over. Jim knew better than us how much more he could take, and if he knew for certain that this was it, that he didn't have much longer left, then we had done our best and there was nothing more we could do.

It made me sad that I had to lose yet another friend, but we had at least three more hours to the CDC. By the way Rick had described his current condition, Jim had probably less than two hours.

The men carefully carried Jim to the top of a hill in the shade and set him down gently, leaning him against a tree.

Some of the group stepped forward to say good-bye. Rick offered Jim a gun, but he declined.

When I took my turn to kneel beside him, I was trying desperately to hold back tears while I thought of the right words to say.

"Don't cry for me," Jim said weakly.

I wiped away a tear that had fallen. "I'm tired of saying good-bye."

"Good-byes aren't always easy." He groaned from a sudden spasm of pain. "It won't be forever, though."

I smiled. "You're a good friend, Jim. A good person."

"So are you." He smiled back.

I placed my hand on his arm lightly so as not to cause him more pain. "Say 'hi' to your family for me."

"I will."

"See ya later, Jim," I said. I stood up.

"Why have you always said that? 'See ya later', instead of 'good-bye'?"

"Good-byes are final. I prefer 'See ya later' because it says that I'll see you again."

With a fleeting grin, Jim said, "See ya later, Ren." He raised his hand slightly.

I waved back to him and descended the hill. I got back into the van, wiping away a few stray tears. I glanced up to Jim, leaning against that tree in the shade, a soft breeze blowing around him, where he would spend his last moments. He looked peaceful.

I bowed my head and choked back a sob.

"Are you gonna be alright?"

I jumped slightly, startled. I lifted my head and looked Rick in the eyes. "If you're asking if I'm going to lose my head again, I'm trying my best not to."

"That's not what I was asking. I was asking if you're gonna be alright." He rested a hand on the side of the van and leaned closer to me, to keep others from overhearing. "I know how much you care about these people, and I know how much it must have shattered you to go through what you did last night, and now this-"

"How could you possibly know that?" I interrupted.

"Glenn told me," he said, still as calm and sympathetic as before. "I was concerned about your reaction and what it could mean for your health."

"Oh." I breathed in slowly through my nose. "Last night I don't know what happened to me. All those walkers, and the people..." I took a deep breath to steady myself. "I lost control. I didn't mean to react that way, and I'm sorry if I scared anyone, especially Carl and Sophia. I had gotten close to those people. Some of them, including Jim, had become good friends to me." I steadied my gaze. "Last night I lost it, but I promise, it won't happen again. I'll be alright."

He nodded. "Okay. If you need to talk to someone, you can come to me, Lori, or Shane. We can help."

"Thank you."

Rick nodded again and went back to his car, where Lori and Carl, Carol and Sophia were waiting.

T-Dog and Jacqui had stood to the side throughout the exchange. When Rick passed by, he said something to them, they nodded, and then they got back into the van.

They said nothing. T-Dog took his place behind the wheel, and Jacqui got into the seat behind us. T-Dog started the vehicle and pulled back onto the road, following behind Dale.

"Hey, Jacqui?" I said, turning to her.

Jacqui raised her eyebrows in question.

"Do you want to switch places with me? I think I'm going to close my eyes for a bit."

She nodded, slid over and, when I got into the back seat, she climbed into my earlier seat.

"Rest for as long as you need to," Jacqui said softly, teary-eyed. "We'll wake you when we get to the CDC."

"Thanks," I murmured, lying down. I stared at the back of T-Dog's seat for a while, his and Jacqui's occasional words dull in my ears. My mind was blank, my heart filled with grief.

I knew I would have to come to terms with everything eventually, but for now I just shoved everything down, preferring to do so later, when I was alone and could cry without an audience.

It wasn't like I had much dignity after last night anyway, but still...

I'm not sure when I dozed off, or how long I slept, but I found myself being gently shaken awake by Jacqui, the sky a pinkish hue with the setting sun, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention right outside.

I leaned over the seat to the one behind me, and gathered my weapons. I slung my quiver of arrows across my back, picking up my bow and swords.

I then opened the van door and looked upon the CDC and the disastrous state of the parking area, hoping for the best, and preparing myself for the worst.