Mike did not sleep well. He discovered that he didn't really mind though, not that night at least. The light from the digital clock on the nightstand emitted a soft glow that lit El's face just enough that he could see her, so he spent the majority of his last night with her gazing at the way she looked in sleep and listening to her breathe softly. He could tell she was dreaming at one point and thought he might melt when she smiled. Apparently it was a good dream. For that he was happy.
He knew her flight was at 9:00 so they wouldn't have much time in the morning. The clock said it was 5:15. Mike eased out of the bed. El only had two bags so it wouldn't take her long to pack her things, all she really had to do was shower and get dressed. He found the complimentary note pad and pen the hotel provided and went into the bathroom so he could turn on a light and see what he was writing. Once he was satisfied he crept back into the room and found her copy of NOS4A2 sitting on the desk. Her bookmark was nestled about half way through the book so he opened to that page and placed his note inside where she wouldn't see it until she started to read again. When he got back into bed with her she moved closer to him, her eyes still closed. He loved the way she felt against him, how her arms sought him out even in sleep.
He was lying in the bed, holding her and committing her scent to memory when he heard her speak.
"What time is it?" She asked, not raising her head from his chest.
"It's almost 5:30."
El sighed. Mike felt her squeeze him tighter. "We only have like an hour before we have to get up. I only have an hour to lie here with you." Mike could hear her voice trembling.
"Hey, don't cry." Mike lifted her chin and their lips met. He tried to reassure her but he felt like his heart was breaking a little bit too. The kiss deepened and they spent their last hour in bed showing how much they loved each other.
"Remember what I feel like," El whispered.
"I'll never forget. I could never forget." Mike assured her.
Time seemed to move too fast for them. Before they knew it the clock said it was 6:30, time to get dressed and packed. Mike packed his suitcase while El was in the shower. He walked past the bathroom and heard her crying softly.
El was trying to be quiet. She knew she was just being emotional, that she would talk to Mike that night like they always had. She just felt like she was leaving a piece of her behind. Before she had really met him it had been fine to fantasize and project and hope but now that they had been together, the feelings were all so real and so powerful and she didn't know how she was going to be able to just walk away from him. She was leaning against the wall of the shower with her face in the crook of her arm, trying to muffle the sounds of her tears when she felt hands gently pull her back and turn her around. Mike was standing there and he looked as sad as she felt. He just held her and let her cry into his chest, rubbing her back while she did.
He washed her hair, using her strawberry shampoo and massaging her scalp once she had gotten control of her crying. His eyes never left hers as he rubbed the shampoo into her hair, careful to not let it get in her eyes. His own hair had gotten wet and was flopping into his face so El reached up and brushed it back, moving up on her tip toes and kissing him before he tilted her head back under the spray to rinse the soap away.
When they were finished Mike wrapped a towel around her, kissing her again as he pulled it around her shoulders, not wanting her to be cold.
"I guess it's time to get dressed." Mike sounded forlorn, a sigh escaping from deep within his chest.
El nodded, thinking the less she spoke the less chance she'd have to break down crying again.
It was almost 7:00 when they had everything together and were ready to go to the airport. Mike had put one of his t-shirts into her suitcase when she wasn't looking, hoping when she found it later at home it would make her feel better. He knew there was no way it didn't smell like him.
"Ready?" He asked, picking up his suitcase in one hand and the larger of her two in his other.
"No." El replied, but she had her carry on and opened the door for them to step out into the hallway.
Mike checked out of the hotel and they loaded their bags into his car. On the way to the airport he tried to cheer her up by singing along to the music that was playing in his car, a flash drive that was playing Summer's Kiss by The Afghan Whigs. From the corner of his eye he saw El smile.
He parked in the cheapest lot at the airport. Most people would just pull up curbside and drop off their passengers but he wanted to stay with El for as long as he could. He carried her bags for her as they made their way into the airport. Mike waited while she checked her larger bag and received her boarding pass from the counter. Her gate was at the end of the concourse and Mike could only go as far as the security checkpoint without a ticket.
They stood together, holding on to each other as people hurried past them on their way to their own destinations.
"I had the best time with you this week," Mike said as he pulled her closer to him, still looking into her eyes.
"So did I." El's bottom lip was starting to tremble. She was digging her fingers into Mike's arms and trying not to cry. Mike pulled her the rest of the way to him, his hand moving to the back of her head as she started to sob into his chest.
"Shh. It's okay to cry if you need to." He felt his own tears welling up.
"I'm going to miss you," El said. She was trying to control her emotions but the words came out syncopated by her sobs.
"I'm going to miss you too. But hey, look at me." Mike tilted her head up to his face. Her eyes glistened with her tears. "It won't be forever. I will see you soon. This isn't goodbye. You have to believe that." He kissed her softly.
"It's just hard to leave. I don't want to leave you." El buried her face in his chest once more.
"I know. I wish you didn't have to go. But I'll find a way to be with you." Mike gently rocked back and forth on his feet.
"Do you promise?" El liked his comfortable swaying motion while he was holding her but she pulled back enough to see him when she asked.
"Promise." Time was running out. She was going to have to check in at her gate very soon. Mike kissed her, tilting his head with hers, allowing their lips to softly mingle before their tongues found ways to deepen the kiss, not caring if people were looking at them. All they cared about was making the other know how much they meant and words weren't enough. Finally they drew back from each other enough to rest their foreheads together.
"I have to go." El's voice was a whisper.
"I know. I love you, El."
She kissed him one last time. "I love you too, Mike."
Mike watched as she walked down the long hallway of the concourse. She turned around twice to see him still there. He waved at her and she gave a sad wave back. He checked the time. It was 8:15. She would be boarding soon. Once he could no longer see her he went back to his car. He sat in the parking lot of the airport and cried. He had held it together inside because El was already so emotional but now he let himself feel, and he felt empty and full at the same time. He was so in love but she wasn't here now. He knew he had to find a way to be with her again.
El looked out the window of the plane and watched the clouds roll by. The flight to New York wasn't particularly long so she didn't want to read. She only wanted to remember the week and play everything back in her mind. She already missed Mike. She wasn't looking forward to the three hour wait she'd have before her flight from New York to Bangor. She just wanted to be finished traveling already. She wanted to be home, to hear Mike's voice on the line. It was the best she could hope for now.
In New York she remembered that Mike had wanted her to try to eat something if she could so she bought a muffin from a little bakery but only ate half of it. She still had more than two hours to wait so she went to her gate and found a place to sit and read until it was time. She got her copy of NOS4A2 out of her carry on bag and opened it to where she had placed her bookmark a few days before. Tucked into the binding was a note. With slightly shaky hands El pulled it free to read it.
El,
If someone had told me I'd ever feel this way I wouldn't have believed them. I always thought I'd probably fall in love someday but it hadn't happened and I didn't know just what that felt like until I met you. You heighten my senses, you make me think, you make me laugh. Nothing has ever felt as good as holding you. I would do anything for you and I plan to show you that. I love you, though that phrase doesn't scratch the surface of how I feel about you.
This past week was amazing in every sense of the word. Everything I did with you was the best experience of my life. So far. This week will always be cherished but we will make more memories that will be just as special. There will be so many, El. I promise.
Call me when you get home. I will stop anything to talk to you. Remember that I love you. Always.
Mike
El read the note three times. She could feel silent tears running down her face but she was smiling. She wiped her tears away, placing the note carefully back in her book, vowing to keep it forever. She sent Max a text before she boarded her next plane so that Max would remember to pick her up from the airport.
My plane should arrive around 4:00. Want me to text you when I get to Bangor or would you rather just be there waiting?
A minute later Max replied.
I'll be there before 4:00. Are you okay?
El sighed before texting her back.
No. But yes. I'll see you in a few hours. Thanks, Max.
El finally got off the plane at Bangor International Airport. She took the escalator down to baggage claim and Max, noticing her friend's striking red hair from the escalator.
"El!" Max ran to hug her. After their reunion they claimed El's suitcase and made their way to Max's car. El was quiet the entire ride home. Max let her be, knowing that El was feeling sad and missing Mike.
Once back at their apartment Max asked if El wanted any dinner, to which El declined. She went to her room and started to unpack her things. As she removed items from her suitcase she came across Mike's shirt. She held it close to her, embracing it and inhaling as she did. The smell of Mike permeated the air around her face and she immediately felt more relaxed.
She told Max she was going to go to bed a little early. The flights and waiting and being so emotional all day had made her tired, which she hadn't realized until she saw her own bed and sat down on it. She put Mike's shirt on, pulling it around her like a hug, and then called him from her bed.
"You made it. I'm glad you're safe."
"I just unpacked. I found your shirt. And your note. I really needed that. Thank you. I love you." El was lying back on her bed. "I'm so tired."
"Then just relax. I'll talk to you until you fall asleep. Want me to?" Mike asked. His voice was soothing and El could already feel herself relaxing.
"I want to hear your voice forever."
Every time Mike was at work the next couple of months he talked with the hospital administrator and the lead anesthesiologist he worked under. He wanted to transfer. He had already looked into hospitals in central Maine and had found an opening at St. Joseph Hospital but needed clearance from his own supervisors before he could try to get an interview. The anesthesiologist he worked under was sympathetic to him. They had lunch one Thursday.
"It's a decent hospital. I don't think it's as good as this one but that could work in your favor. You are great at what you do, Mike. If you leave I'll miss having you around but I understand. There was a girl I met in medical school and I still wish I'd had the balls to follow her when she went to work in Washington when we graduated. I don't know that I was in love with her but the potential for it was definitely there. I still wonder what might have been. You're young and if you need to do this, I will write any recommendations for you that you need me to."
"Thanks. I love working here but I love her more. I'd do anything for her." Mike said.
"I'll tell you what. I'll call St. Joseph's and talk to their chief of staff. I'll tell them all about you and how meticulous you are with your work. I'll see what I can do to speed things along for you."
"You'd do that? That would be great. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it." Mike's eyes lit up with hope.
"Just get your girl, Mike. Don't make yourself wonder what might have been."
El spent her time working. She had heard that there was an opening in the Fogler library at UMaine and she had applied, hoping to at least move to where she wanted to work on campus. She loved to be around books. She talked to Mike every night, most nights falling asleep with him on the phone. The leaves were just starting to change from the greens of summer to the vibrant colors of fall, the maple trees starting to turn a deep scarlet color while the ash and birches went a deep yellow. It was lovely and El wished that Mike was there to see it with her. She wanted to take walks in the woods with him, holding his hand as they admired the scenery.
In mid-September El found out that the position at the library was hers if she wanted it. She gladly accepted, calling Mike to tell him as soon as she got home. He didn't answer so she sent him a text.
I got the job at the library! I'm so excited! Call me when you can. Love you so much.
When he called that night he was excited for her but she thought he seemed distracted. He still talked to her until they both fell asleep. El wanted to know what was on his mind but she decided he'd talk about it when he was ready.
It was the beginning of October. The autumn winds were starting to blow chilly and cold but El loved autumn in Maine. It was Friday and she had gotten off work early, walking past Memorial Union to the faculty parking lot behind it. She walked slowly, liking the brisk feeling of the wind on her cheeks and the way the branches swayed in the breeze. She had texted Mike earlier in the day but hadn't yet had a reply from him. She figured he was in surgery. Around 4:00 she tried calling him but there was no answer. She was starting to get worried, having hardly ever not been able to get in touch with him before. She sent him one more text.
Call me when you can? I just want to hear your voice.
Max got home a little before 6:00 and started cooking dinner. She was really getting into the cooking class she was taking and decided that cooking was a nice way to relax after a day full of numbers and accounts. She liked having El be her personal taste tester. El still hadn't heard from Mike all day and was feeling herself start to move from kind of worried to actually worried. She called him again. The relief she felt when he answered was almost overwhelming. She hadn't realized she'd gotten so stressed about it.
"There you are." El said, feeling her shoulders relax. She went into her bedroom to have a little privacy while she talked to him.
"I'm sorry. I was kind of in meetings all day. I wasn't ignoring you, I just couldn't check my phone."
He sounded happy to El. She could tell through the phone that he was smiling as he talked.
"What are you doing? It sounds like you're in a car." El could hear more noise than she usually heard when he was talking to her from home.
"Yeah, I'm on my way home. Home, you know, the place I want to be." He was still smiling. She knew it.
"I wish I was at your home. I miss you." El said sadly. She tried to keep it in check but sometimes it slipped out.
"I miss you too."
They talked about El's new job and how that was going. El was telling Mike about how they were rearranging the entire library and were currently in the reference section.
There was a knock on the front door and Max yelled to El. "El, can you get the door?" El didn't hear her. There was another knock and Max huffed with annoyance as she crossed the living room to see who was knocking. When she opened the door there was a tall guy with floppy black hair that she recognized immediately from his pictures. He put his finger over his mouth, indicating for her to be quiet, as he continued talking on his phone. Max smiled and moved aside, allowing him to enter the apartment. She pointed down the hall, letting him know with her thumb to go to the door on the left.
El was lying on her bed crossways, looking at the ceiling and still talking away about the library. Mike stopped her mid-sentence.
"I really miss you, El."
El sat up on her bed. As she started to speak she didn't see her doorknob turning. "I really miss you too." Her door opened. She looked up and there he was.
El dropped her phone and looked at him. It was clear that she wasn't sure she was actually seeing him or if her imagination was playing tricks on her. He walked into the room and stood in front of her for a second, just looking at her, before both of his hands went to the sides of her face as he knelt down, their faces centimeters apart.
"Hi. I needed to see you." Mike said, his voice for real and not coming through a phone causing El's heart to race. She was already shaking.
"Oh, Mike." She threw her arms around him as he kissed her. She had missed that so much, not realizing how much until she felt his lips on hers, greedily kissing him back and never wanting it to end.
They kissed and held each other for a few minutes until they heard Max clear her throat. She was standing in the doorway of El's bedroom.
"Um, dinner is almost ready if you guys are hungry." She said. Mike and El could not stop smiling at each other as they pulled apart and Mike stood back up.
"Max, this is Mike." El said, her voice almost a giggle.
"I put that together. Hi, Mike. It's nice to meet you. El has told me everything about you." Max smirked.
"Max!"
Mike blushed. "Hi, Max. It's nice to meet you too." He smiled warmly.
The trio went back down the hall to the kitchen to have some dinner. Mike and El couldn't keep their hands off each other as they sat at the small table eating the food Max had made.
"I can't believe you're here." El said, her eyes dancing with glee that she was able to look across her table and see the love of her life staring back at her.
"I was hoping after dinner we could go for a walk or something. I need to talk to you."
Now El was feeling a little apprehensive. In her experience personal face to face talks were either very good or very bad.
"Okay. I could show you around campus if you want. It's not far."
"That sounds perfect."
After dinner Mike had excused himself to the bathroom for a minute. El pulled Max aside.
"What if this is bad? What if he wants to break up with me but he's too nice to do it over the phone? What if he never wants to see me again?' El was speaking so fast that Max almost slapped her to bring her back to her senses.
"El, listen to me. You're freaking yourself out. He looks so happy to see you. He stared at you with a dopey grin on his face throughout our entire dinner. Breathe. He is not going to break up with you. Just see what happens and stop being crazy."
El knew Max was probably right. Max was always right. When Mike came back Max gave her one last encouraging smile before they got into El's car and she drove over to campus. They walked hand in hand toward the Stillwater river. El loved how warm his hand felt in hers even though it was definitely chilly outside. They came to a bench that overlooked the river. There were lights hung from the trees, small white ones that had been placed for a wedding that would be held there the next day.
Mike and El sat on the bench and looked out at the water. The sun had set a couple of hours before but the lights bounced off the gentle current.
"I need to tell you something." Mike spoke. He had her hand in his and was rubbing circles on the back of it. El immediately braced for the worst.
"You can tell me anything." She tried to hide her rising fear.
Mike turned to look at her. "I love you and I want to be near you all the time. Would that be okay with you? Is that what you want too?"
El couldn't believe he was asking her that. All she wanted was to be with him.
"It's what I want more than anything. I love you too." She gripped his hand tighter.
Mike smiled, seeming relieved. "Good. Do you know what I was doing all day today?"
El shook her head.
"I flew in early this morning. Like, early. And then I spent the day at St. Joseph Hospital interviewing for a job there. El, it's mine if I want it."
El was crying immediately. Smiling through her tears she threw herself into Mike, his arms wrapping around her snugly as they both cried and laughed into each other.
"You're going to take it, right?" El asked once they had calmed down. They were just sitting on the bench holding each other.
"Nah, I think I'll consider my options first..." Mike waited for her to look at him in exasperation. He could have counted it down. When he saw her face he pulled her down and kissed her. "Of course I'm going to take it. I want to be with you."
As they were walking back to El's car she asked him how long until he had to go back to Indiana and when he was supposed to start his new job.
"I was hoping you'd let me spend the rest of the weekend with you and then I'll fly back Monday morning. I'm supposed to start on October 22nd so that doesn't give me a lot of time to pack my things and find an apartment here."
"I wouldn't let you stay anywhere else. I can't believe I get to sleep in the same bed as you tonight. I've been waiting for so long. I could look for an apartment for you if you wanted. I like to think I know what you like."
"That would be the best. Hey, El? Um, no. Never mind." Mike stopped what he was saying.
"Mike, what is it?"
"It's just, I wish we could have an apartment together."
El stopped him in the middle of the sidewalk. She stood in front of him, her face below his until he looked down at her, bridging the gap. Her eyes sparkled in the light of the street lamp. She raised up on her feet so that she was as close to him as she could make herself without him helping.
"I want that. I will totally live with you, Mike."
They kissed under the street lamp, leaves swirling around their feet as the wind casually blew.
A/N: So Mike is moving to Maine! Raise your steins, y'all! I think maybe one more chapter and possibly an epilogue is all I can squeeze out of this with the title being what it is. It's been cathartic to write it and I will miss them but I have a couple of other ideas I want to work on when I'm finished with this. Thanks again for reading it and I hope it's been enjoyable. I love these two so much. I hope I do them justice. I will update again soon.