Disclaimer: I own college textbooks so many college textbooks but no rights, never any rights. Unless you talking 'bout civil rights, I have those.

Poll to decide if there shall be romance is still on~! It is on my profile so click my username to get there. I also added another option as well.

Warning: Stuff. Happens.

Searching For Freedom

Chapter 10: Embracing Family

"The thrill of coming home has never changed." ~Guy Pearce

"Every parting gives a foretaste of death, every reunion a hint of the resurrection." ~Arthur Schopenhauer

This is getting really old, really fast. I hate passing out, I hate looking like a weakling, and I hate waking up to too cold too white rooms with needles sticking out of me.

On the sort of plus side, apparently I'm the only one in here because when I turned my head to the other side there was a bed on my right. Juugo is also just barely waking up too if the shifting of his chakra tells me anything... and he has an oxygen mask on him, hey I have one too! Turning my head to the left confusion warred with elation since Kimimaro's here too! Though he didn't have as much needles as me and no oxygen mask, but still. He does look very tired though and he's paler than the room we're in.

"Oh good, you're awake." The unfamiliar voice had me snapping my attention towards the far side of the room

I tried to get up into a sitting position but a pale hand pushed me back down and I huffed in place at the action. In retaliation I took the oxygen mask off. Bad idea, bad idea! Not only was I soon out of breath, it was really hard to take in air, my lungs caught fire and yeah that oxygen mask is going back on... via the help of the pale white hands apparently. And breathing became easier again.

Looking up, I squinted to try to see the attendant, the glare from the naked light bulb throwing his, because that had been a male talking, face into shadow and making it hard to see... anything really. Goddammit where the lights always this bright?

"Who you?" I managed to croak out from beneath the mask. I'm pretty sure it came out muffled and strangled too.

"I am Kabuto, your medic for now, and I will appreciate if you don't kill me like you did the others a little over a year ago."

Goddammit has another year passed! I hate this place!

Wait what?

I flooded chakra to my senses to dull them so I could see, hear, smell, and feel less. Please tell me I heard wrong, please. Which deity did I piss off this time!?

"Ka-bu-to?" I struggled to get the name out since I've never said it, speech is increasingly getting harder for me now and if I speak for too long my throat starts to hurt. Say no, please, say no.

"Yes?" I'm dead. So dead. Goodbye cruel world.

"How long I sleep?" Hopefully he'll take the squeak as held back sock and not fear. Fear is bad in the presence of snakes.

"If you mean how long you've been unconscious due to fatigue and injuries... about a week." He took his clipboard and began writing on it.

"Oh…" I managed to get out and stared wide-eyed at his clipboard... oh god what is he writing down? "I no kill you. I was scared last time." I mumbled as I refused to look at him and kept watching his nimble fingers dance across the dratted clipboard. What the hell is he writing!?.

"Ah, and why were you scared?" He asked with an amused tone. His hands stopped and went to his sides.

Oh man what the hell should I say!? This is Orochimaru's right-hand man! For god's sake the boy injected himself with the snake bastard's blood to become the creepiest thing in existence and revives so many dead people.

So.

Many.

Dead.

People.

OK. Okay... I can do this, right? I totally can do this! I'm strong right... right.

Kabuto shifted in place and the light was shining into his face, his large glasses reflected the light, and oh man I am so screwed. Sweet baby Jesus save me from the scary people!

"I-I I ugh I- scared," I whimpered unable to complete the sentence because I am a kid and maybe I've given the kid in me too much reign so I'm freaking out logically in my head but my body translated that into something more appropriate for my age. Like whimpering.

Wonderful. Very mature.

"S-Scared t-they do things to me again with they sharp needles and small knives!" I babbled and oh my god I need to shut up now!

"How old are you Zenshi-san?" I looked up to him for the first time at the weird question and swallowed back my pathetic actions before shrugging feebly.

"Uhm- I don' know."

"Would you like a rough estimate?" He pushed his glasses up using his middle finger and I tried not to flinch. How old is he and why is he this intimidating?

"Yes please!" I blurted out; anything to get him to stop asking me questions.

"Alright then please hold still for me."

I held as still as possible as I watched his hands light up green. Swallowing back the fear I felt clawing up my throat, his hands getting closer to me, I held my breath and looked away from him. I know he can cut organs with those healer hands, the perfect weapon in a way. I made sure my heart rate slowed down as I thought of calming things like how we were gonna get outta here now that Kimimaro was back, my ability to manipulate Earth chakra, and cake.

"Well Zenshi-san you are about… let's see if this isn't some malformation… ah- I see never mind- you are about six and a half at most but you have all the bodily development of a two-year old."

"Hey! I old 'nough!" Whoops, there goes my big mouth.

"With a speech impediment to add to it." He chuckled- he actually- oh hell no!

"Hey!" That actually made a lot of sense but I'm not going to agree with him, screw him!

"Zenshi is very intelligent and she would look her age if she had actually gotten taken care of here." We both turned to look at Juugo who was glaring lightly at Kabuto. I sniffed to assure myself he was ok and smiled when I saw him glare then flinch at the lights. I pointed to his eyes and ears then made a quick tap against my heart. He got it immediately and relaxed as he used his chakra to muffle the extra senses.

"I agree to some degree with my pathetic… comrades." All three of us turned to look at Kimimaro, whose head was raised slightly and he had the most I-do-not-care-you-are-all-beneath-me look I had ever seen on a, what is he like an 8 or 9 year-old, child. Prissy little shit.

"I not pathetic!" I managed to yell at him before curling up over my stomach and pressing hand against my throat. The former because it had given the nastiest twist and had me gagging while the latter because now my throat is on fire. Yes, totally not pathetic.

"Please try to not incapacitate yourself more than you already have." Kabuto came next to me and once gain his hands lit up green as one lay on my throat and the other on my stomach. "You'll only make your gastritis worse." Kabuto informed me with a smile, I think there may have been real concern in his voice though… but I don't think there is.

He is a great actor after all; he had made everyone believe he was actually a genin. What had he said?

"Gastritis!?" Juugo managed to shout before I could even open my mouth. Oh man I thought I had heard wrong, apparently not. Bright I am not today it seems. I looked to Juugo, who had a pained look on his face, then back to Kimimaro who looked a bit surprised and guilty as well. Weird.

"Yes, well more accurately put, you have a gastric ulcer. Any more time in the cave and you would have gotten anemic or something even worse."

"Oh… good." I sighed and slumped into the stupid lumpy bed.

"That's all you have to say?" Kabuto raised a brow, that is really cool by the way, but come on how did he expect me to react! All hysterical? What's done is done, all that's left is to pick up the pieces and stab them into your enemies' eyes. Then glue them with said enemies' blood… when did this analogy turn so bloody?

Whatever.

I have an ulcer, wonderful, it isn't going to stop me or send me crying or something. It's curable… I think. Plus I'm lucky that's the only thing I got seeing as I could have- you know- died. Alive and with an ulcer is better than not alive at all.

"It be cured, right?" For Juugo's sake.

"Well, yes but when most are told their stomach has literally torn itself apart because they'd been abandoned in a cave, with a semi-psychotic person, and given no food I would've thought they would've been more devastated."

"Stupid, no reason to cry. It be cured and I be fine in end. I had worse." If you count emotional trauma I have definitely had worse.

"I can see that," he muttered but I don't think he knows I heard. So when I stuck my tongue out and Juugo growled at him he was surprised. "You heard me?"

"You too loud. Not quite enough and this itchy." I scratched at my shoulder where the stupid hospital gown ended. It is too itchy.

"You're all too loud. Kimimaro you're breathing to hard." Juugo said and I heard him perfectly fine but when Kimimaro threw him a confused glance it hit me, even with our senses muffled we still had better senses. Kimimaro hadn't heard Juugo, I had.

Apparently it also hit Kabuto since he got a curious look in his eyes and he started to smell like burnt sugar, though I don't think he knew we've already dulled our senses. He pulled out his pen and started jotting down more notes.

"Fascinating, your senses are on the level of a jōnin. Tell me, did you notice that the light overhead is actually very dim and close to failing?"

"What?" I said.

"So it isn't really bright," I heard Juugo and now Kimimaro was looking at us funny and I realized this whole time he's been squinting at us.

Kabuto was writing things down and his lips were moving but no sound came out besides that of his breathing. He was already adjusting to the fact that we could hear things more sharply. Now that I was more awake and paying more attention I noticed that I could hear people passing outside and going inside rooms. I could hear people moving in the other room beside us.

"I must talk to Orochimaru-sama, please refrain from getting up. Take those pills at your side and drink plenty of water. Someone will be along to give you food." Then he walked out the door, white hair glinting in the 'dim' light.

"Ok… that was weird," Juugo mumbled, then he ignored Kabuto's warning and immediately got out of bed and stumbled towards mine. He got on and I scooted aside to give him more room. Hey we've been sleeping together for who knows how long now, he was like my teddy bear and I didn't want to go back to sleep unless he was with me and vise-versa.

"I was wondering why you both were mumbling the entire time. It seems you have done something productive the entire time you were locked up." We turned tired eyes to Kimimaro who was still looking at us funny.

"What we do? You say get strong we get strong."

"Some would say that locking yourself up in a cave would not be the way to getting strong."

"I uncon-unconventional!"

"That was an accident really." Juugo told him making sure that the words were loud so Kimimaro could hear him. I flinched at the noise. "I'd been meditating and went- uh- unstable and accidentally attacked her. She got me tied up though and when they came in to get her I was locked up and she went to the labs."

I grimaced at the reminder, stupid labs at least where we were now didn't look like a lab. It had three beds that had us all in them, and a bunch of monitors tracking our vitals but the rest of the place was kind of cozy, it had shelves filled with scrolls and there was a fireplace at the far end. I had never seen this place before when I had been able to go exploring.

"What else happened?" Kimimaro was not sitting up properly his stance was a bit hunched and his arms loose, he's relaxed with us. That made me extremely happy.

"Well I wake up and get freak out because I in lab then kill 5 people."

"What?"

"Then I go and look for Juju and find him then get inside with him and stay with him. We train and now we good with all our senses!"

"We can also use some elemental chakra now."

"You can both use elemental chakra?" Why did he have to sound so surprised?

"Silly Kimi-kun we already say that! Juju can use all five, in time, if he practice long and hard. I use Earth! Juju says I Wind too!"

"You… can use Earth? And Wind? A-and Juugo can use all five?" He sounded faint like he couldn't believe what we told him and it was so funny that I laughed.

It was loud and open-mouthed and by the end my lungs hurt and my stomach was twisting into itself again but I couldn't stop and it wasn't even that funny. Juugo then joined me someway half through and when we heard a light chuckle coming from Kimimaro our laughter picked up again and soon all three of us were laughing like, well like children.

"I've never heard Kimimaro-kun laugh like that. To who do I owe the thanks?" I froze immediately when I heard the watery-smooth voice. I even whimpered a little, laughter choked back as I tried to turn myself invisible. Not likely but hey a girl can try.

"Orochimaru-sama, my apologies for disturbing you we will not do it again," Kimimaro said, laughter dead as he struggled to get out of bed but stopped when Orochimaru came to his side and pressed a hand against his chest and made him lie down. Gross.

I felt bile, which wasn't from my ulcer mind you, come up in my mouth at his action. How is it that he could seem to care so much but in fact didn't. If he could live by killing one of us he would, and he will if Kimimaro continues in this path. Not if I had anything to say about it! Dammit, I was going to get him away, I needed to! Kimimaro was precious to me now and I can't stand by as he harms himself serving a man who holds no affection for him. I am weak but I would give my life if only to show Kimimaro he was wrong and needed to leave. I wasn't going to make a difference but he; oh he could change the entire game if I could get him to Konoha and to Tsunade.

Orochimaru plays with people, thinks we're all pawns on his chessboard. Well I'm changing the game to my own; something called the real fucking world where we were all anomalies. Kimimaro was no pawn; he is no one's property. Life isn't a game and I'll show everyone that.

"It's alright Kimimaro-kun I had never heard you… laugh, ever. It seems Zenshi-chan has quite the… influence, on you." This time when my stomach twisted it wasn't because of the damn ulcer, it was the way he said the previous sentence. I was going to die; I was so going to die.

"Zenshi-ch-san has no influence over me, I only live to serve you Orochimaru-sama." He then attempted a smile but it was a bit awkward in my view, I knew how he looked when he really smiled even if it had only been once. This was not it, this looked strained.

"Yes, I know Kimimaro-kun and I do hope your teammates understand." Oh he can go screw himself! Juugo was an excellent shinobi and I was smart, I may suck but I am smart!

"Orochimaru-sama, then you approve of them being my teammates?" Kimimaro's tone was bland and almost uninterested but I smelled the spike of excitement in his chakra and I made sure my grin wasn't visible.

Maybe Kimimaro could be persuaded to join us after all. I then frowned as I though about this, what had happened to make Kimimaro almost- hesitant around Orochimaru? When I had last smelled his chakra he had nothing but the strong firewood scent when regarding Orochimaru but right now… the fire was low, like water had been dumped over it. What had happened? I was glad to note the small smell of death had vanished from Kimimaro's scent and his chakra itself still smelled like a field of poppies; nothing had changed much.

"Yes I suppose, Juugo would make a most interesting teammate seeing as his looks have changed since we were last here. I expect a full report tomorrow about that. Zenshi-chan could use some… positive reinforcement as well. She is not quite up to par even if she did kill five people." Oh my gods were people really going to keep pointing that out!

"I still provide back up to Kimi-kun-"

"Kimi-kun?" he muttered under his breath and I smelled his oily scented chakra, which indicated dissatisfaction and only increased when Kimimaro didn't protest the nickname.

"-And Juju too!" I said meekly but firmly ignoring his stupid comment.

When he flexed his chakra and his killer intent flooded the room I didn't flinch and neither did Juugo. Was he stupid? We've lived with him in this goddamn hell-hole for years, where half the ninja couldn't even control their killing intent and I had smelled his chakra constantly. His damn Killer Intent was old news. Then, because I have poor survival skills, I looked up towards him when his KI got thick, tilted my head to the side, and developed a relaxed position before looking around curiously and a little annoyed before saying, "You feel something, it annoying. Like 'em lil' lizards that hiss annoying."

I swear Juugo bit back his laughter in the form of a hacking cough and Kimimaro turned his head away, shoulders shaking the tiniest bit. Orochimaru smirked and his KI was put away, no lie it still scared the shit out of me but I could handle it and put away the visions of my death. I already had enough close calls with death to look at it like an old friend and wave a hello when it passes by.

Ok maybe not literally but I would. Who am I kidding I wouldn't, I only felt this ballsy because Juugo was by me and Kimimaro was actually trying to hold back laughing and Orochimaru was trying to gauge my strength and I needed to impress him in some form. Might as well it be with snark and a show of intelligence even if it was kinda useless, maybe he'd think they would use me as bait? Hey that wasn't such a bad idea, if I could make them (or at least Juugo, I had no delusions about Kimimaro throwing me under the bus even if he did like/tolerate me) make Orochimaru believe they were willing to sacrifice me then we were home free and could even use it as an advantage.

"I good for Juju and Kimi-kun if they get in trouble. I distract and they get away back to you Orochimaru-sama." I chirped, hoping to make it as real as it wasn't.

Before Juugo could say anything I pressed a finger by his palm to shut him up. It was under the covers and it wasn't noticeable so he said nothing and only nodded without hesitating as if that was the greatest idea ever. Juugo was not an idiot and I am so glad he could pick up on things nonverbal. Orochimaru was studying us discreetly but I could smell the burnt sugar of curiosity, the bitter tangy scent of suspicion, and the weird smell I usually smelled on myself on occasion that was like pomegranates which is- more or less- deviousness.

I don't think anybody could hide his or her emotions and well-being from me now. My sense of smell had increased superbly as well as the chakra-smell technique I used since I was locked up in that stupid cave. All I needed now was experience with it, more scents to smell and identify, I can already find hundreds in this place from everyone. The more you could control your chakra the less I could smell it but I still could smell it.

"Yes that does seem to be a role fitting for you Zenshi-san." Kimimaro interjected and nodded.

I didn't react hurt because I could smell his chakra and the bleach smell of a lie. Yeah I don't know why lies smell like bleach but they do and it burned my nose too.

"Well I do want to be ascertained that you two can always get back to me. Perhaps with both of you teaching her she can get good enough to defend you both. I see she already has good enough taijutsu to kill others," he hissed in satisfaction.

It was ridiculously easy to smell his emotions, if only I could read hi- nope never mind I do not want to know what is going on in that sick head of his. Hell. NO. "In that case you start training tomorrow and in week you start taking missions from me. I expect greatness from all you, even you Zenshi."

Ouch, if my self-esteem wasn't already shot that might have hurt or if I, you know, actually gave two shits about his opinion of me. As it was I pretended to be hurt and even added the whole watery eyes, which was surprisingly easy to do. He left the room with a flourish, no seriously he went out in style, he turned into a giant snake and slithered away to do creepy snaky things.

"… You like him." Juugo stated simply and Kimimaro glared at him.

"At least I have a purpose," he shot back; cool façade fading into slight annoyance. Oh I loved it when he got emotions it was the funniest thing ever… if you know he didn't flip out and then tried to kill us immediately after… still, fun!

"We do too!" I answered for Juugo who closed his mouth and nodded firmly a small smirk on his face.

"Oh? And what is that?" He asked, twisting so he was facing us. His hair is no longer loose and was longer now, more of it gathered to one side with a red clip.

I answered before Juugo could making sure my response would get the best reaction out of him. "Hehe! Shh it a secret Kimimaro, only member of super awesome club can know it!"

I giggled again for added benefit and hid my smile from him when I saw his eyebrows furrow and one side of his face twitch. He was so adorable and even though he didn't act like it, just as nosy as any little kid. I frowned a bit when the sharp stinging scent of hurt went though him before he crossed his arms almost petulantly and what would have passed as a scowl to others was a pout to me.

Time to go for the clincher, "You can learn it if you join~!"

I made sure it came out as a little song, pleasing and taunting at the same time. I had three siblings before this life; I knew how to work kids not to mention I was one!

I saw his resolve crack and I knew he's interested but then his walls came rising up once again and he was the cold stoic little boy of before. We were gong to send those walls crashing, Juugo and I were going to rock his world and he was going to come barreling with us when we escaped this place, I knew it. I felt it in my gut and in my heart, we were going to succeed, we had too.

"I have no need for childish groups and even more juvenile secrets. So long as your 'purpose' does not contradict those of Orochimaru-sama's it does not matter to me."

Oh man if only he knew if only. But he didn't and he was so not going to know what hit him. It sounds corny doesn't it, making someone become your friend especially in this world, but I had faith we would drag him into our little family kicking and screaming. In my past life I had avoided people like they carried disease, until a girl a year younger than me saw me and dragged me to her side. I protested and lashed out the whole damn way but in the end I knew her parents by name and they welcomed me into their family like I was their own. It had shocked me, so much that it was still one of the clearer memories I had of my past life. This would work, it had too because there was no other option. At least none that satisfied me.

"Now take your medicine Zenshi-chan before I'm forced to shove it down your throat." I smirked at his threat, he hadn't caught his little slip up like he had with Orochimaru; it was already in place.

The next time I woke up I was a lot better and was more than eager to grab my bowl of soup to drink as I threw back my medicine but a slight glare from Kimimaro had me backpedaling and confused. What had I done wrong now?

"Lesson one: never trust anything or anybody." Kimimaro snapped before he performed a jutsu on his soup that made it glow before he nodded at it then ate. Huh… how the hell was I supposed to do that!? Because my mouth seemed to have a life of its own now for some apparent reason it snapped right back at him.

"Trust you, saying you traitor then?"

"Yes now shut up and test your soup."

"Why trust you to do that? Maybe I think it clean then you put poison?"

"That's silly, I am all the wa- Juugo!"

I looked to Juugo who had the most annoyed face on him before he chugged the soup back then ate the rice. I grinned. Turning to look at Kimimaro, I saw he had the most annoyed expression on his face as he watched Juugo finish his rice then snatch up mine and toss that back too. I didn't mind, I hated hard food anyway, soup all day! Laughing I did what I was told but in a different manner, the teachers before had taught us a trick to try and spot poison and all that. I tipped the soup to the light and studied to see if there was anything floating at its top like oil. Liquid poisons didn't dissolve well into food since it had been cooked already so saturation was already reached in most cases.

I then checked the rim for any powdery substances or suspicious material. I sniffed it and sorted out the smells to see if anything clashed, if there was any scent that was off. Nothing. Dipping a finger in I felt to see if the soup felt weird or had anything gritty in it. When the only sense left was taste I was pretty sure there was no poison or something and tipped the soup back into my mouth and relished the taste. Wow, I had not eaten in forever and my stomach twisted before relaxing and warmth shot through me that had me sighing in relief.

"I guess that will do. You should do to pay more attention to Zenshi, loathe as I am to say it." Kimimaro passed a hand over his face and I rolled my eyes at him and pointedly slurped my soup and saw him glare at me in annoyance.

"Sod off Kimi-kun." I grinned at him he glared more.

"So how did you end up here anyway?" Juugo asked as he finished chewing his rice and swallowing. Huh, how did he end up with us on a hospital bed?

"Yeah, yeah! Me 'n' Juju close to dying but what about you?" I ignored his slight flinch at the word dying; he needed to know what it was we were close to. I'm pretty sure he's killed people already so he shouldn't flinch away from that.

"I guess now is better than later with no warning." He sat up again and tugged down the collar of his large lavender shirt. What I saw had my eyes widening and my stomach clenching once more.

"What is that?" Juugo asked, his brows furrowed as he looked at the three crooked lines on Kimimaro's collar. He shifted a little and shivered, he felt it too. The mark was radiating dark power, I had no idea why I hadn't been able to sense it but I had never been good at sensing chakra. Smell though, it now explained the funny acidic smell I had thought was just the smell of the room.

Kimimaro looked down at it and though I couldn't see his face I smelled the hesitance in his chakra.

"It's dark, it's evil," I muttered. He heard me and I had meant for him to hear, he once again smelled hurt but then resolute.

"It is Orochimaru-sama's sign of favoritism, this is the Cursed Mark of Earth and I am the only one to survive the process with this mark."

"It-it-," Juugo couldn't make his thoughts into words but I knew what he was trying to say, what he had realized.

"It made from Juju's kekkei genkai. Turn you more powerful than you already… but at what Kimi-kun?"

He turned away from us and I saw his jaw tighten a bit before he squared his shoulders and glared at us. At least his walls of solidarity weren't up and he was giving us emotion.

"Well that explains why I got shorter for a while after I hit you." Juugo muttered darkly and I gave them both a confused look. Had something happened?

"It gains power through anger and hatred. The angrier and more hateful you are the more power you receive. Since I survived the process I am now one of Orochimaru-sama's élite ninja and I have- I have been chosen to become one with him. His vessel for when he grows tired of the old one." Kimimaro said, ignoring Juugo's words. I narrowed my eyes at them but didn't push, at least not yet. We were silent, all of us, and I had to hold back the instinct to scream. Scream at the unfairness and that he said it so coldly, like it had already happened and the Kimimaro I knew was already gone. "It is my duty and purpose to help Orochimaru-sama reach immortality. It is an hon-"

"Shut. Up." I snapped and Kimimaro looked surprised then angry at my interruption, I didn't care.

"Zen-" Juugo began but I cut him of, I didn't want to hear any of his passive shit right now.

"No. NO!"I yelled and Juugo cried out when I tore the stupid things all over me and jumped from my bed to Kimimaro's. Kimimaro looked surprised but then that vanished when I punched him in the face. I swallowed back the sting in my knuckles; his stupid damn bones were always so damn hard! However he had let himself be punched, he could have dodged or kicked me off of him but he hadn't. Did he- did he want to be told this was stupid? Breathing in deeply I formed my words in my head before punching him again and making his head snap into another direction.

"You… are… so… stupid! You don't- you don't need anything to be more powerful you already are! Why taint yourself? Why!?" I had gripped his collar and was shaking him as much as I could, which wasn't much but it made me feel slightly better.

"I live to serve Orochima-"

"Shut up! You need to find something else then! This- this isn't living you idiot!"

"Then what is!" he yelled at me, finally shoving me back from him, making Juugo growl but we ignored him. I was insulting and denying his stupid purpose and he was angry, good. Maybe what he needed was some a slap in the face to wake him up from his delusions and I will do it even with these damn tiny hands. "I was from a clan who lived to fight but they were so scared of me they locked me up. I didn't get to see the light of day until they were stupid enough to go get their selves killed in Kirigakure when I was five. I escaped! I wasn't going to die for a cause I didn't believe in. Orochimaru-sama found me, fed me, loved me and has been my guide in the dark, my light, more than anyone else especially those who were my family. Don't you dare insult him! He is everything to me!"

"You so stupid! Don't you see!?" I was screaming right back and I was in pain but I wasn't going to stop. Orochimaru wasn't close so I was going to scream as loud as I wanted. "You're family was using you wow yes sad I know well my family hated me and my mom left me to die in a torn down village! You're family only saw you as a weapon and Orochimaru sees you as nothing but that!"

"He at least cares for me!" We were screaming at each other and were standing now well I was standing and he was sitting up.

"No he doesn't! He doesn't care for you! If you get sick he will not care for you, if you get injured permanently he'll discard you. If you die before he can use you he will burn you and take whatsoever is left to experiment on! He. Does. Not. Love. You. He doesn't care so long as you serve him he will act like he cares."

"Oh and I suppose you love me and Juugo does too?" He sneered and I felt my mouth drop open. "You can't tell me you don't, you hate me! Both of you do! You don't think I know you were using me to get stronger, to try to make my faith in Orochimaru-sama waver? Well I do and you won't succeed!"

"I'm not trying to fool anyone Kimimaro and if you can't remember Orochimaru was the one who put us together to control Juugo! You're the only one who's trying to fool anybody and that is yourself! No, I don't hate and I may not love you yet but I care! Juugo cares and if you were ever to be lost we'd be there for you! You could be our famil-" I was cut off by a punch to my face but it wasn't hard, I knew it wasn't and Juugo knew it too but he still made to move to us until I looked at him.

"What's wrong Kimimaro? Getting scared?"

"I have nothing to fear from a weakling like you, you are nothing but trash beneath me!"

"That's true then why did you chose to be teammates!"

He opened his mouth and didn't respond and then he settled for the only thing, he hit me again. I rolled with it, this was nothing compared to what we had sparred before or when he had actually had tried to kill me. He's confused… it still pissed me off though and I hit back. We were grappling and then we fell from the stupid bed and onto the floor and I was trying to strangle him as he tried to pin my arms and kick me, he was already kicking me. It was so… childish yet not.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot! We can care! We can show you real family! Family is not in blood! We. Care!"

"You're lying!"

"We're not!"

"You are! You don't care, not as much Orochimaru-sama!"

"We do and we can and why don't you let us!"

"Because I can't!"

"Why!"

"I-I don't know," he whispered and then he was crying and then I was freaking out in my head. This isn't what was supposed to happen! It's supposed to be a smooth transition dammit!

He was crying in front of me hands no longer bruising my arms and I had stopped choking him and could feel the small hiccups in his breath. So I hugged him. At first he stiffened but then he relaxed and hugged me back and then I was getting teary too then Juugo laughed at us. Then I cried too.

"S-shut up Juju." I muttered as I tried to reign in my own emotions.

"You're both idiots you know that?" He told us before he got off the bed and with shaky legs joined us at the floor in our group hug. It was very warm and I was patting Kimimaro and hugging him, Juugo was hugging us both because he was still so ridiculously tall, we formed a cocoon around Kimimaro whose breath was already steadying. His head was on my tiny shoulder and when he turned inward I sighed in relief. He wasn't pushing us away.

"Why are you crying?" He mumbled, very uncharacteristic of himself.

"Because you hurt and it my faults," I replied my speech going back to its usual self, my voice cracked though due to all the yelling and the fact that I spoke long coherent sentences. I didn't want to do that ever again. Seriously speaking in long sentences hurt and it was easier to just use my 'baby' talk.

"Do you really care for me?"

"No I don't," I felt him begin to shove me away and rolled my eyes but clung to him like a koala. "Tell him Juju."

"Yeah she doesn't… because we both do even if you've tried to kill her. She forgave you and so have I." He muttered finally letting us go from the hug, we were still leaning against him and he didn't move, only shifted so he was more comfortable and so were we.

"Did your parents really hate you?"

"They left me under rock 'til Juju find me. I almost dead… I think."

"She had been very quiet when I found her and I can't believe you remember that."

"I 'member what I can and that day special. Like when we first meet this dummy."

"I remember that day," Kimimaro mumbled, "You were so small I though Orochimaru was bringing in bait to satisfy the monster Juugo turned into."

"I not small!"

"You don't even reach my waist."

"I grow!"

"Not if you don't eat." Juugo grumbled at me and I stuck my tongue at him.

"Dun like hard food, soup ok!"

"You need more variety than just soup Zen-chan."

"Shush Kimi-kun I do what I want."

"I would have thought my scrolls would have taught you proper language skills. Of course only you would screw something so simple as that up."

"Hey!"

"He's right Zenshi, your baby talk can get confusing." I mock gasped at Juugo's words and placed the back of my hand on my forehead.

"Oh noes me causing discomfort in you! Me must change!"

"Whatever shall we do," Kimimaro remarked sarcastically, finally lifted his head and revealed a small smile on his face that had me grinning at him and Juugo too.

"We need to go train and prepare," Juugo reminded us and we snapped back up and rushed to the tables were some clothes were. As I grabbed my set of clothes I saw my dirt encrusted fingernails and cringed.

"No! Shower first!" I practically shot out of the room with Juugo and Kimimaro right behind me.

"I was wondering where the smell was coming from, I thought there was a leak in the room but apparently it was you both." Kimimaro jibed and I glared at him playfully.

"You dirty too!"

"I just got back from a mission with Orochimaru what's yo-" He cut himself off before glaring at us both and, almost tentatively, stuck his tongue out at us like a proper 8-year-old. I stuck mine out as well and pulled down my eyelid for added benefit. Juugo just whacked him in the back of the head like he did me plenty of times. We were laughing as we went to the showers. Best day ever.

Especially that shower, I may have cried when I felt hot water pass over my filthy skin and underneath my dirty fingers. It was heaven, it had to be and I stayed under that water for so long without turning up the cold to even it out the searing hot water. My skin was raw red and I did not care it was too comfortable and wow I was really cold because I was soon shaking and then I collapsed onto my knees. I stifled a sob that escaped me and bit my knuckles but still I sobbed and choked back more.

I-I was crying but it was for something else, I wasn't sure but I stayed under the water without doing anything my legs curled up under me and my hair sticking all over my place. I ran a hand through it and winced at the tangled, knotted mess it was. Reaching outside the little enclave that stopped the shower water from spilling all over the small shower room, I grabbed a kunai from where my clothes were atop a small rise of stones and without even hesitating I hacked away at the knots. The blade ran through my hair so swiftly I had to make sure I didn't accidentally cut the back of my neck. Red locks of hair greeted my eyes and I cut it until I felt I could run my small hands though my hair smoothly. It now reached the bottom of my ears and I felt a pang of sadness at the lost hair, I love red hair. Plus I hadn't had hair that long in a while, well if you counted my past life and it had been dark brown back then. I had cut my hair off because I had grown tired of it and though more comfortable I had missed my long hair. Oh well I had to do what I had to. No use crying over hair of all things. I passed a hand over my hair and snorted a little at the uneven cut. Oh well. I went back to showering the stone room; we had no baths in this place or the like. It was only showers but showers are awesome. Plus this was so far still the best day ever.

So of course it didn't last, nothing ever did in this place.

AN: I really need to stop ending things like this. Every other chapter has so far. My English Major is screaming at me, horrible things she screams. Anyways wow you guys. Some of the things you've read (those that answered and reviewed) are really interesting. I haven't read any of them but you guys have made me interested. If I can find time to read some of your guys likes I definitely will.

Personally I love a lot of books. My favorite book as of right now is... Beowulf. Okay so it's actually an epic in poetic terms but it is great. My favorite changes based on what I'm reading at the moment but the ones that will always be dear to me has to be the Harry Potter series, Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead, Dark-Hunter/anything written by Sherrilyn Kenyon series, Dragon Rider and the Inkheart trilogy by Cornelia Funke, Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes, Jane Eyre (it varies I hate it then I love it), anything by Frank O' Connor, Vindication of the Rights of Men by Mary Wollostoncraft, Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge... basically anything by the Romantic poets (England and America), William Blake, and Lovecraft (gods i love Lovecraft).

Update: 9/19