My One In A Million
Chapter Eleven:
He stirred awake to the sound of a page being flipped oh-so quietly. "Hinata?" His mind had been too muddled to realize it, but he'd been waiting for her.
"Yes." She whispered from a few feet away.
His chest slowly expanded in a quiet, careful intake of air. "Mmh… What time is it?"
"Afternoon." Yet she spoke like it was the middle of the night and she was afraid she would wake someone. "Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?"
No, not really. He was just waiting to hear her answer about what they talked about yesterday.
His proposal…
When she didn't show up this morning, he began to rethink his approach to the subject, maybe he should have tried to slip in a nice word or two to seal the deal. "What's for lunch?" His stomach was beginning to riot as it always did when it was empty, reminding him that if he didn't man up and start training, he would regret the gained weight later.
"Rice, lentil soup and um… looks like boiled pumpkin." The book was shut and put away to free her hands for the task of exploring the insides of a plastic bag. "Ne, I brought you a pack of pudding, s- so you don't have to wait for meal times to eat it. W- Would you like to have some now before I put it in the fridge?" he stretched his hand towards her with silent expectation, she just smiled and complied. "I'll put the rest in the first row, alright?"
"Where is the fridge anyway?"
She paced to the other side of the room and announced, "Five steps away, um… Straight ahead from the right side of the bed."
That was too far away on his body in his current condition, but he respected her a little bit more for not saying 'over here you blind bat'… "Alright." Still drowsy but undeniably hungry, he popped open the package of rice pudding and shoveled a spoonful into his mouth. "So…"
"Hm?"
He didn't want it to sound like he was worried about what she decided, or show that he was uncomfortable with not knowing, so he asked about something completely irrelevant. "What were you reading?"
At that, she blushed and struggled to find her seat again, glad that he couldn't see how flustered she was about having to answer. "Uh- um well… it's no- nothing… j- just a novel…"
He smirked. "A perverted novel?" He'd read some of those when he was younger.
"No! O-o-o-of course not! J- Just normal r- romance! A normal romance novel!"
A normal romance novel… So this is what normal nineteen year olds read when they didn't have to fight a war or travel around the world to avenge the massacre of their families…
He swallowed a big mouthful of pudding and grimaced, he hated thinking about what it might have been like if his life had been any different…
"What's the story about?" he was halfway through the container, glad for the instant relief.
"Uhm… th- the usual…" She fidgeted uncomfortably. "The rich boy who falls in love with the p- poor girl…"
It was a strange hobby to have; she belonged to a rich and prestigious clan, at one point she was the next one in line to lead it. She would definitely have whatever it is she wanted if she just asked even now, he was sure there were many, many men who dreamed of having her on their arm as a wife and baby machine. And here she was, finding pleasure in reading about the struggles of the less fortunate and their life-changing battles to have that one impossible love. Why would she enjoy the emotional trauma the characters have to go through when she has the privilege of not having to know any of it?
"What's keeping them apart?" He found it amusing to dig for the reason behind her actions, partly because he wanted to know what her take on the story was, and because bullying her was good entertainment. He was eating soothing, cool cream in slow mouthfuls, so why was his stomach still struggling to settle down?
"W- well… The rich boy was introduced to many girls, they're all nice and beautiful but he doesn't get along with any of them… He only likes the girl he met on the street who shared his love for graffiti. His parents are against them being together…" She paused for a moment. "It d- doesn't really matter, right? It- it's just a fictional story…"
Sasuke plopped the spoon into the empty container and dropped them onto the nightstand. "Does he marry her in the end?"
"I haven't finished it yet but… I hope so…" at his snort she tried to defend the fictional characters. "I know it's j- just imaginary, b- but don't you think it could happen in real life? I- I mean… It's possible…"
"Love is overrated." He dropped back into the pillows, inwardly cringing at what he just said. "I mean, forbidden love and all that." It would be bad if he showed her what he truly was -unfeeling and indifferent- when he was supposed to be working hard to convince her that he proposed to her out of affection. "What's the point of loving someone who doesn't love you back?"
Familiar with unrequited love, she felt it necessary to explain. "It d- doesn't have to have a point… s- sometimes we do things to make others happy b- because seeing them happy is all that matters." As if catching herself in a mistake, she started again. "I mean- It d- doesn't always have to have a payment! Or treat it like… debts? It's okay to do nice things to others if you love them even if you don't expect anything from them in return, f- for example I would give Hanabi my favorite umbrella when it's raining even if I know she's not going to give me hers if the roles were reversed. I would do it without asking for anything in return because she's my sister and I wouldn't want her to get sick, because I love her enough to not care if I'm…" Her voice trailed off to silence at the realization that she was dragging it for too long and his eyes were starting to glaze over. "I'm sorry… You're free to think what you want…"
His brows were slightly pulled down. "If my efforts are going to be shrugged off then I might as well move on to somebody who would appreciate them. There are a million people in the world, Hinata, surely someone out there would appreciate you more than the one you have right now."
The quiet hum of machines made them aware that the heated discussion wasn't about the poor girl and the rich boy anymore.
"He didn't even answer your confession, did he?" He said simply, charging headfirst into the elephant between them. "How long has it been? Six months? More? He isn't planning to give you a clear answer."
"I know…" Was her calm response. "I- I don't mind…"
"You should."
She glanced up, curious. "Why?"
What do you mean why? Why did we have this long conversation if you're going to ask for blunt answers anyway? "Because believe it or not, you're a Hyuuga and he's just Uzumaki. You're the rich boy and he's the poor girl; if you weren't interested in him, the story wouldn't even start." He reached over for the bottle of water and took a long swig. "Besides, it's obvious that he likes someone else."
"Sakura san… Right?" At his nod, she explained with a small smile. "It's okay, I- I guess he doesn't know what to say or when… I don't mind. A- As long as we can still be friends…"
"It's annoying that you're not asking for anything in return, not even recognition." The bottom of the bottle hit the nightstand harder than intended. "What kind of love is that? It's useless and a waste of time. You can't even call it love."
Her voice was so quiet that he almost didn't hear it. "You've never been in love?"
Now she was asking for it… If he answered this one incorrectly, all his planning would be for naught and she would walk away without hesitation.
Of course he could always get better on his own, it wasn't his first time having to live through recovery periods depending on nobody else but himself; but she was doing such a good job of guessing his needs correctly that he didn't want to lose such a thoughtful servant. Talking to her helped shake a few memories loose, it made it easier to find the right place to fit the pieces in the puzzle, too. He was basically torn between saying what she wanted to hear and what he really wanted to say. "I don't read novels." Not normal ones, anyway. "I wouldn't know what it's like even if…" Was he seriously talking about love and romance with a girl? Pff… Naruto would have a field day with this one…
"You're… Not sure?"
He released a slow sigh, fighting the dull ache in his chest. "I've never had the time to waste on in things like that…" Why was this so awkward to him but completely natural to her? She even stopped stuttering…
"Haven't you ever thought of someone for long? Or… maybe, did something to help them even when they couldn't know it was you?" At his silence, she tried to narrow it down a little. "Um… For example: Is there someone you would rather be with when you're sitting all alone at home? Or maybe you will decide to take a walk hoping that you will see them by chance?"
If that was love then he had been head over heels for Naruto for a long time now. "Keep talking."
She sounded like she was enjoying it, maybe she finally found someone to philosophize instead of her fictional characters. "Okay, umm… I will give you a situation and you can think about it. You don't have to answer me out loud if you don't want to. Um, here goes: When someone talks about romance novels or valentines day, do you feel curious or disgusted?"
He pursed his lips.
"O- Okay… When you're sitting with a group, do you sometimes wish it was only one person you had to talk to instead of all of them? That person has to always be the same one, not a different member of the group every time."
Along with pursed lips, his eyelids drooped.
"L- Last question…" The strong feeling of dread and disappointment washed over her but she marched on. "While I was asking those questions, did someone specific come to mind?"
His brows crashed down.
"I- I'm sorry! Y- You don't have to tell me the answers b- but you're making a really scary face!"
The displeased frown was schooled into a neutral line before he said. "Wouldn't that just prove I have a one-sided crush on someone? In what book is it defined as more than that? Your test is flawed."
It was quiet and slightly warm; Hinata didn't seem too bothered about what he deduced from the test, but perhaps she noticed how he was adamant on not giving a clear answer and decided it was too impolite to prod him about it.
Was the test really accurate? It seemed half-assed but thanks to it, shed some light had been shed on a few points that he wasn't aware of…
When he was on a mission with Naruto that first time he was allowed out of the village, it was after he met her for the first time; he found it easier to spend his time trying to remember what life was like as schoolchildren rather than worry about his own depressing situation. He'd been aware of how much he thought of her at the time, and labeled it as nothing more than an innocent distraction…
It was just that, but…
When she mentioned romance novels he had been simply curious, about the effects of the war on their generation and about the future… But now that she asked him about it; whenever he heard Sakura's voice in those short check ups, he would wish she magically disappeared and in her place would be a quiet, whispering Hyuuga. When Sakura told him to eat his food, he would keep from snapping at her to be more like the Hyuuga and ask nicely.
What bothered him, though, was that during her questions he had been picturing her; her voice, her hair, he imagined her lips forming the words and the hint of embarrassment that undoubtedly left a blush on her cheeks.
He tried to convince himself that it was because he couldn't see, because he had just woken up from a near-death experience and she just happened to be the first person to be there…
But the more he thought about it the harder it was to deny that his unexpected interest in her had started long before the coma… He didn't remember when, exactly, but whenever he craved good food, he would hope to see her and nobody could blame that on the lost memories…
If anything, he should associate her with pain in his abdomen and tasteless hospital food, he should associate her with his miserable life right here and now, and the unavoidable task of consuming food he didn't like…
It's not that he was picky about food, but a terrible meal was a terrible meal.
Maybe that's why he wanted to marry her?
His mind vividly recalled the look and taste of that heavenly soup… His mouth watered just thinking about it.
It was a long shot, but to have that kind of food every day, for every meal… He might have seriously considered it.
His stomach rumbled in the deafening silence, unexpectedly giving them an excuse to drop the hanging conversation and think about other things. Hinata didn't say anything but he could tell from the sounds of plastic being peeled off plates and utensils being unwrapped, that she wasn't going to start any conversations.
"So did you make up your mind?" he finally asked.
After a moment's consideration, she whispered as if out of breath. "I did." It took her a moment to find the courage to tell him of her decision, but when she did, she said it gently. "I woke up this morning undecided, and- and thought I'd put the ring on just to see what it would feel like."
He couldn't help but listen with undivided attention. So was that a yes or a no?
"I went to visit Hanabi after breakfast and there it was clear to me that… I'm- I'm sorry, Sasuke kun, I can't accept your offer."
But- but! She couldn't! She shouldn't! How could she say no to Uchiha Sasuke?
"I'm sure you're upset!" she squeaked, "I'm sorry b- but please understand!"
"Drop it." his voice rang in the silence afterwards. Stubbornly, he ate his lunch without saying a single word. He wasn't insulted or upset, not for rejection anyway. It ust annoyed him that everything was working out as planned until this girl showed up and messed up all his preconceptions about people.
He was perfectly fine without her; he'd had functioning eyes, a memory he could depend on, the confidence to manipulate everyone without worrying for a moment that they will not be manipulated. And then she showed up: talked back to him when everybody else was too scared to, told him what to do when she knew damn well he didn't need directions and most of all, she existed. And now he couldn't see, couldn't remember important, life-changing events, and didn't know heads from tails in human interaction.
Girls used to be one group of existence: annoying, emotionally unstable and disposable; she was different.
Konoha shinobi were a mass of hateful eyes and sneering mouths, but she smiled at him whenever their eyes met.
She knew what he needs before he even asked for it, she saved his life when everybody else was up for pulling the plug…
It infuriated him that she did all of that with no intention of receiving something –anything- in return; she should have accepted to be his wife, to be the head of the new Uchiha clan. She should have given herself a pat on the back for trapping her in her web and taken his name and money like the normal, selfish person that she should be.
Why?
Why isn't she asking for something in return?
He was angry at her for being confusing; he didn't know what to do with her anymore. Naruto was easy to understand; if he was angry, they'd fight, if he was hungry, they'd go eat, if he had something to say, he'd say it loud and clear. Naruto was his friend and in a way, his soul mate, they understood each other without words on the important aspects.
But this girl…
She was there, brushing against him day in and day out, but she wasn't his friend, she wasn't his ally, she wasn't his teammate or his family.
She wasn't anything.
Then why was she even here?
Sasuke downed the last of his water, pushed away the table with his finished lunch, and finally let the words out. "You're still here."
"Yes."
His heartbeat spiked, the girl thought he was asking when he was trying to make a point. "Go tell your sister what you decided."
"There's… No need."
Oh? "Because…?" He didn't care, not now; he just wanted her to take a hint and leave him alone. Her next words changed his mind.
"She's taken a turn for the worse… She's been in ICU for a few hours now… Th- They say she doesn't have… She's not going to make it." She sounded extremely sad, but she wasn't crying. "I think it's f- finally time to let go for real…"
"What happened?"
"Nobody knows. She just… Crashed." Her deep breath shook. "She really liked you, you know… She did…"
"Is that why you said no? Because she likes me?"
"No."
"I don't believe you."
"I don't mind…"
He couldn't see her fight against the rising waves of despair, not the sleeve she kept pressed to her eyes or the downwards curve of her mouth; he just heard the words she schooled into a neutral tone. He probably thought she had accepted her sisters fate, struggling with it for months on end had probably given enough time to come in terms and mourn her.
And then his own loss elbowed him in the ribs; the pain of losing his brother was still a thorn in his side even after so many years. One doesn't just mourn their one, their only and precious sibling, and then get on with life. There is always, always a gaping hole that can never be filled with anything, not a single thing in the world, and it never really goes away.
"Take me to her." He finally said, a little less upset.
"Sasuke kun…" She must have been remembering that last time he was in a hospital gown asking to see her sister. "Why?"
He pressed his lips together to keep from saying something he might regret. "I want to see her before she's gone, to tell her to not involve herself with me in the next life."
Sasuke waited for the girl to make a reaction, hit him with the book, cry, maybe. Hinata simply sat up and touched his arm as an indication for him to use her as support. He pushed away from the bed with his good arm around her shoulder, one of her hands held his wrist while the other went around his back to keep him steady on his weak ankle. Her hair smelled nice, and it was convenient that she was just short enough for her to take normal steps without being too fast for him. They stopped twice to rest on their way to the elevator and three times on the way to the intensive care unit where her sister slept.
There was a Hyuuga guard from the branch house on the door that stopped them before they could go in, said that the Hyuuga Elder gave specific orders not to let anyone in unless they were doctors or a coroner.
"It will only take a few minutes, please." She tried.
"I have been warned of Uchiha san, he is –under no circumstances- allowed in."
Hinata gave the man a firm poke in the chest and watched as he collapsed to the floor, unconscious.
"What did you do?" Alarmed at the crashing sound, Sasuke held on tight to her shoulder.
"We have a few minutes before he wakes up."
He smirked and followed her guidance to the bed inside, the room was ridiculously cold and grim, the beeping machinery reminded him of those first few days of waking up in pitch black darkness with pain in every cell in his body. The stitches in his chest ached just slightly in response to the remembered pain.
Hinata slipped away without warning, startling him out of his thoughts and catapulting him in confusing pitch-black disorientation. He always had a few seconds of pure panic whenever he lost physical contact with his surroundings, afraid that the next time he blinked his eyes he would be attacked by a giant snake or a tip-toeing assassin and he wouldn't have a clue.
And then her hand found his again, he clutched it with abandon and let her guide him to a chair she pulled up. Her hand slipped gently from his to guide it to rest on a smaller, colder one.
Hanabi.
The moment their skin touched he felt a spark, of familiarity, of courage; of home.
And then that feeling was gone, in its place was a cloudy sky, stale air and crashing waves that caught the light of a hideous, giant red moon.
Uchiha Sasuke loved illusions.
In the world of genjutsu, you could be anything you wanted, impersonate anyone you wished to br and do unimaginable things to anyone; it was complete and utter control, and he loved it.
He especially liked Tsukuyomi, because even if it was a jutsu he could never master as much as Itachi did, in it he could exist perfectly, he could see, he wasn't broken, and he was trapped in it enough times to know how to break out.
Right now, he wasn't too enthusiastic about finding himself in it, because he wasn't alone.
How did he get here? How did she get here?
Standing on a smooth stretch of land surrounded by nothing but inky waters, he glanced at the darkened sky once more just to give the sobbing figure a moment to acknowledge his presence. "Hanabi." He called to the girl that sat huddled a few feet away. Around her were several scattered weapons and unidentified splashes of blood. "It's me." He slowly stepped forward as to not startle her, and bent down to be at eye level while still keeping a safe distance between them.
Her head turned up but she wasn't impressed, "What, you're here to kill me, too? I'm tired, okay? I'm not going to fight anymore, just hurry up and do it."
Sasuke glanced around, nothing but water and air. No enemies. "Don't you want to get out of here?"
"There is no getting out! I tried!" She spat blood to the smooth rock. "I messed up, I made a mistake. I made this Jutsu to protect myself but I got caught in it, Father will be disappointed… Just let me die. No, wait, I can't die… I have to apologize to him for failing so hard… My team will have to find a replacement…"
With a long breath, he stood straight and crossed his arms. Tsukuyomi had been something Itachi used often against serious foes; but as a curious boy, Sasuke had attempted exploring it as soon as he achieved the Mangekyou Sharingan. Hanabi's situation was far too familiar for words. It wouldn't be too bad to be trapped inside it once or twice, but one's mental health tended to get really funky really fast and the longer they lingered here the more messed up they were.
This girl had been here for months, her sanity had fried to a crisp long ago. "So you made this Jutsu? Huh? Impressive, what do you call it?"
She opened her heavily-lidded eyes to regard the vast emptiness of her surroundings. "Great entrapment, eternal mind control no jutsu."
He scoffed. "As pompous as expected from a Hyuuga. Unfortunately, it's called Tsukuyomi, and it's mine. You've been running around your little head using my chakra to trap yourself into it. I think it's time you let go."
Hopeful, the girl's misty eyes cleared. "Huh?"
It made sense now, as if saying it out loud made him realize it had been the answer that taunted him all those days. This was why the girl was sick.
The first time he decided to hold her hand and give her some of this strength, the jutsu was something he copied off Orochimaru and was –until then- untested. He must have accidentally given her everything, a part of him must have abandoned all hope and attempted to dethatch itself from this body; unfortunately, the jutsu must have been flawed because he was still pretty much attached to an Uchiha's body save his all-important chakra.
No wonder he was feeling faint and weak, no wonder he hadn't been feeling angry or vengeful; it was all taken away.
It also explained why he wasn't able to call upon Susanoo or any of the summoning beasts he was in contract with. Hell, he couldn't even attempt a simple Katon without failing miserably.
It made perfect sense now, right here where the air was saturated with his essence, his techniques swirling around him sweetly like a spring breeze, the call of his snakes and the longing of his beast; he felt at home.
It was time to take it back.
Hanabi was like a mouse trying to fit the mass of an elephant inside its little body, but if she was strong enough to fight it for a few months then she's probably strong enough to survive the separation. "This is the nature of this Jutsu, it pinpoints your fears and exploits them." Sasuke crossed what little space left between them and rested a hand on her small head. "Your sister is waiting, you should go see her."
The girl sighed in evident relief and wiped at her face, she sat up to dust her clothes and then pointed a bloody hand to a far side of the small island. "What about him?"
Sasuke glanced in that direction, a hooded figure stood facing the crashing waves. When he looked back, Hanabi was gone. Without a moment's hesitation, he stepped up to the figure and waited for the person to respond.
Sensing his presence, the person turned to glance at him; his hair a premature shade of gray and his eyes narrowed behind unfashionably round glasses. "Sasuke kun…"
"Kabuto." He stood at the ready, although not too worried; the presence was weak and faded, barely holding on. "I knew someone was messing up my techniques."
He laughed a deprived, manic laugh. "Just as expected from my master's best pupil, you sensed me in your chakra and used the little girl's body because you knew I couldn't use her for long."
He didn't, if he knew the creepy sound nin existed anywhere in his system, he wouldn't have given anyone any of it. He didn't care much for the little girl, but the thought of giving this crazy bastard a chance of survival was absurd, he'd rather die than see Kabuto live for another minute, not after he used the bodies of deceased Uchiha members for his ridiculous, unholy jutsu. "It's about time you go, too." He told him firmly.
Feet shuffled, a senbon was in Kabuto's hand, it flew directly towards Sasuke's eye. Blood spilled, a bones were crushed and a hand found a jugular and squeezed, the genjutsu wavered, threatening to break; and then Kabuto collapsed under the weight of the stronger boy's control of the situation.
"I just-" He gasped, what little chakra he saved in the threads of the Uchiha were evaporating faster than he could catch up to. "I w- wanted to learn the secret- the secret of immortality. Your- your body; you who have" his breath hitched, his shadow disappearing fast, "killed Orochimaru sama, you who defeated the man in the mask; your determination alone could have withstood this jutsu! It's not- not too late! Let me take you to his remains! Let me show you what eternal life is! You and him, together you will be undying, strong and young forever, a legend!"
The thought appealed to him on some level.
He had denied the Sannin the chance to use his body once upon a time, because it meant loosing who he was in a time when he was too busy chasing his own family's legacy. He couldn't afford to lose track of that for anything in the world.
But now, there really wasn't much to chase; nothing at all.
Was it really that bad to be reborn into someone else without having to start from scratch?
So what if he became Uchiha Sasuke, the body of the strongest young shinobi who was the host of the strongest Sannin?
If Orochimaru could be brought back into his body, he would have to survive the life of a nineteen year old boy for as long as he required medical attention, girls having crushes on him and society treating him like a timed explosion seal.
It would be like hell on earth for someone so old.
On some morbid level, it was amusing.
Wasn't that what he had been wishing for?
To no longer be the poor boy who had his family tragically killed for politics, to not listen to strangers tell him he wasn't right in the head, that he wasn't worth four walls in their hotels or worthy of a bowl of rice in their shop…
To stop being Uchiha Sasuke.
Life wasn't interesting when he was alive, and it wasn't pleasant when he was dying…
Days were all the same, whether he could see or not, if he was dead or alive or in limbo, whether he had hoards of girls chasing after him or none, if he was married to someone or not, if he was popular or an outcast…
Would it really be bad to just drop everything and move on?
All he had to do was let go of the throat and it will be…
The world of Tsukuyomi had no physics of wind, but for some reason the scent of ocean and a sunny field wafted into his nose.
He would lose his mind and all memories once he gave his body up, he would never know who that mysterious girl in the field was…
Maybe she was a figment of his imagination, someone to hold when he couldn't wake up from his coma, someone conveniently comforting who will never exist in the real world.
Something he created to fill the gaps of memories that slipped through his fingers…
Memories… Things big and small, important or not, painful or pleasant; they will all disappear…
His life had just been a long, droning cycle of nothingness, would it matter if his memories disappeared? Would it matter if he disappeared?
At least then his body would serve some purpose…
This body that never knew affection, not once felt the warmth of a loved one on nights he couldn't sleep; this body that had spilled it's blood for a promise of revenge and justice, but was going away forever because he was too much of a coward to reach out and hold someone's hand.
The thin line tied to his sanity stretched, painfully taught; the image of a boy with blond hair and crystal eyes grinned at him.
"Maybe now old bag will make me Hokage, eh?"
"Maybe."
"And you'll be there to watch me, won't you, Sasuke?"
"Only until then."
"You promise?"
He'd sighed. "I promise."
"They'll be here any minute," the boy had pushed himself up to his elbows despite the pain, forcing a ridiculous smile on his bloody face. "It might take a while to get used to it, but it's all over now, isn't it? All the bad stuff and the revenge and all."
"Mm."
"You'll be a new Sasuke, right?"
"Mm."
"I'll never allow you to go back to being that stupid prick, alright? So I'll say it now: Goodbye, Uchiha Sasuke. And Welcome home."
His chest was nearly bursting with the drowning sensation; making it hard to react when a piece of the puzzle found home; this had been the boy's goodbye; it was a farewell to the unhappy person that he had been his whole life.
The boy… The one he'd promised to support until the day they both attained happiness.
Naruto…
Sasuke didn't love the village but, right now, he was the only thing standing between it and total destruction; he'd be damned if he let another shinobi war break out with his body leading enemy troops.
His eyes rolled back into focus and in a sudden surge of power he crushed the throat between his fingers, the sickening sound of bones being crushed echoed in the nothingness of the void and the ocean waves crashed, splashing them with cold salt water and washing away the generous streams of blood pouring down his face. "Like I said," Sasuke hissed. "This is the nature of this Jutsu, it pinpoints your fears and exploits them. Over. And. Over. And. Over." He didn't know how the kunai made its way to his hands; all he knew was that blood was everywhere and that the parasite existence was quickly withdrawing itself out of his core, crumbling under the weight of its personal fears and recoiling into nothingness.
The image of a woman in a sunny field passed with exploding colors that nearly blinded his already irritated eyes, it was instantly pushed away by the tidal wave of his own memories. His mother smiled lovingly and pinched his cheek, Itachi laughing after pulling a prank on their father, the tomato patch in their backyard. Images of his parents falling to their death slapped him in the face, the parasite was trying to create an opening in which to slither back in, he set his jaw and fought back; pushing the kunai into the heart of his enemy as deep as it could possibly go. Itachi taunted him, called him a spineless child and Madara smirked from a distance, faces he recognized but didn't have time to appoint names to, laughed and cried and screamed in a deafening orchestra of agony and despair.
The soundtrack of his life played on, he let it wash over him, accepted it with every fiber of his being; it was what made him himself and he wouldn't have it any other way.
He remembers now, he remembers everything.
The puzzle he had been standing in front of for so long shuffled as if with magic, the pieces falling into place as memories- good and bad- returned to their rightful gap; Sakura tried to kill him, Naruto punched him hard enough to break his jaw. Killer-Bee making hand seals, Suigetsu, Karin and Kakashi and Madara and his mother and…
And Hinata…
They were standing in snow; the little particles were realistically cold on his face and when his tongue darted out to catch one out the corner of his mouth, it tasted like he was alive. His scarf danced in the wind, casting an eerie shadow under the yellow streetlight where he found the piece of jewelry that day, it now rested in his pocket because it was too cold to hold in his hand, but he thought it should go in a missing-items box somewhere because it looked like a wedding ring and those were usually emotionally-invested in.
Hinata had stumbled towards him from the head of the road with the sleeves of her kimono trailing behind her like the wings of a fairy. Her hair was clinging to her forehead and lips but she didn't seem to notice; hurried she was to tell him something. "Sasuke san, I finally caught up with you!"
He was angry at her, angry for her, he'd purposefully left their ceremony because he didn't have anything to say to her that wasn't going to sound awful. How could she give up her precious position as head of the clan without as much as a pout? "What do you want?" His hands were fisted in his pockets, the feel of the ring cold and sharp in his palm was distracting, he set his jaw and fixed her with a glare. "I didn't like your party, it was boring."
Tears pooled in her eyes, he couldn't' tell if she was cold or embarrassed. "I'm sorry… I guessed that you wouldn't like it…" Her hair danced in the wind much like his scarf. "P- Please come back… Just for dinner, at least."
He didn't want to see them again; not her, not her sister. "I'm tired, I'm going home."
Her lips formed words but they never made it through her windpipe.
The band in his palm was sucking the warmth out of his fingers, so he pulled it out and gave it to her. "Here. You take care of this." It wasn't his business to manage the lost-and-found booth of their district.
"What is it?" Her fingertips were red under the long sleeves, the ring rested in her small palm, catching the yellow light and reflecting on the simple design of her Obi.
"A ring, genius." Fisting his hands in his pockets again to recover some warmth, he finally admitted to himself why he wasn't planning to talk to her again, "I've decided not to chase you anymore, Hyuuga Hinata."
Notes: Sorry for the delay, I could list excuses but the reality is that I didn't like where the story was going even though I wrote a lot after this chapter. Eventually I scrapped them and decided to change everything from this point onwards. You'll be glad, trust me. I already have a few chapters written now, so the next few chapters shouldn't take too long (unless I hate them and decide to rewrite them again lol no but srsly) thank you for still reading! And please add the story to your Story Alert so you get emails whenever it is updated since I'm lousy at keeping up with schedules…