The morning came too quickly after we swapped with Lutz, Hazen and Cyra on watch and the two hours it took for me to actually fall asleep. I had found myself looking for something to cuddle into, so I took off my jacket and wrapped my arms around it; the empty feeling eating me up inside. I raked my hands through my hair, redoing the braids before joining everyone else to have breakfast. We ate in silence, the burning of the portable stove the only thing that was making any noise other than the occasional clinking of plates.

"Right," Lutz roared as he stood up and stretched, "Four, Eight, Hazen – you stay here, we're going off hunting."

I felt my breakfast stir in my stomach as he said that. Hunting. They called it hunting. I busied myself with the clearing up and let them go before I showed my face again. Caggie smiled at me from her seat on West side of the Cornucopia. I returned it and sat down next to her, a sigh escaping my lips.

"Would it be ignorant of me to say I'm bored?" I chuckled lightly at her admission and nodded.

"Probably," I lowered my voice, "But they don't trust us yet."

"You mean they don't trust me, you lead them yesterday and you saved Livia in the bloodbath," At my pained look she seemed alarmed, "I'm not having a go at you, you're trying to survive. If I'd had seen the tracks I probably would have done the same thing."

I gave her a grateful look, suddenly feeling the boredom myself. We were just sitting, so I decided to make myself useful. Grabbing all the dirty plates from the pile we had made, I told them I was going to go and wash everything up in the pool. Caggie jumped at the chance to join me and I picked up a couple daggers to take just in case, her taking her machete once more. We made our way over, finding a spot on the bank to sit and started to clean the plates and mugs that Caggie had brought over. For the first time in the arena, the silence was a comfortable one and I felt kind of relaxed as we got a system going. I washed and she used a rag to dry everything and piled it up again. However it didn't stay like that for long. My head snapped up as the rustling of leaves surrounded us. The girl beside me noticed too and nudged me with her elbow, moving to grasp her weapon and I did the same. Nothing else happen for a few minutes, but I wasn't going to let my guard down just yet. And it was lucky I didn't.

A body flung itself down from a tree, knocking both Caggie and I down to the floor, except the floor wasn't the floor. I feel down and suddenly felt myself become submerged in the pool of water we'd been sitting beside and having not taken a breath before breaking the surface, I struggled to swim upwards, gasping when I finally did so. Scrambling to the bank, I climbed out of the water and managed to catch the direction the person who had attacked us was running off in – Caggie struggling in her arms. I picked up the remaining dagger; the other having fallen in the water with me; before sprinting off after them.

When I got through the first layer of trees I found them, Caggie putting up a surprisingly good fight as the person I now recognised as the girl from Five attempted to get a hold of her machete – a firm grip on her neck. I assessed the situation for a moment, figuring out the best way to attack without hurting Caggie more as I did so, before I decided to just go for it. I jumped at them from behind, my hand grasping the fabric of the girl from Five's shirt and pulling her down with me to the ground. We wrestled in the leaves as I tried to wear her out, the look in her eyes scaring me. They held a sense of achievement, but as I gained on her they changed - she was terrified. Though her fight didn't let up and neither did mine, both of us scared that these were our last few minutes.

Just as I reached for the dagger attached to my belt, she increased her force and rolled me over, pinning me down and my muscles clenched and unclenched as she closed in on me. It was like what happened on the train, only I felt like my throat was getting smaller and I couldn't breathe. Suddenly, the weight was ripped off me and I struggled to catch my breath again. Standing once more, I focused in on Caggie holding our struggling offender in a headlock and without thinking, something I had done numerous times over the last day, I charged towards them with the dagger in hand and stabbed her right in the stomach.

Pulling back I let her fall to the ground, breathing heavily as I realised what I had done. She was the second person I had killed in the arena and I shut down completely. The cannon went off, shocking me even more as I collapsed against the nearest tree, covering my ears as Caggie tried to speak to me

XX

Eventually I managed to bring myself together and balance on Caggie as she supported me walking out the forest, clothes still wet and muddy. Livia, Cyra and Lutz were back at the Cornucopia by the time we got there and they rushed over as soon as they saw my state.

"What the hell happened?" Livia screeched and I winced at the volume.

"Girl from Five attacked us, Mari got pushed into the pool and she dragged me off but she seemed to underestimate the fact there was two of us and one of her – Mari got her in the end."

I coughed, nodding at Cyra who had brought over a blanket, "You helped Cag-gie."

I had thought about what she said earlier, she needed the careers to trust her if she was going to get anywhere in there. They were only being nice to me because I had helped them and would be able to get them sponsors – supposedly. It was only then that I realised how cold I was and that I was shivering, so I wrapped the blanket further over me and sat next to the now burning stove as Hazen cooked our lunch.

As we ate, I felt my body begin to warm up, my clothes stop clinging to my body and my hair frizz as it dried. Letting the blanket fall from my shoulders I removed both hair ties and ran my fingers through the dishevelled strands and re-braided them for the second time that day; jumping and ruining the second braid as another cannon boomed around us. I pondered who it could have been while I finished my hair, whether it was another tribute or they did something accidentally and hoping to hell that it wasn't Coy or Ivy.

Later on I found that it was the boy from District Three as his image shone in between the animated stars of the arena that evening, just before the face of the girl from Five. I slept even worse than the night before.

XX

No one died on day three, no cannons sounded and no faces appeared in the sky. We'd trekked in a different direction than before, but came up with nothing and returned to Lutz and Livia without anything to report and they had the same for us. We spoke about simple things, though it was mainly me and Caggie sitting on our own and comparing things about our Districts, the food, the traditions or even the people. We were on guard of course, the feeling of danger constantly surrounding us, especially after what had happened the day before. But on day four, we went out again, all the girls this time as the boys wanted to guard the supplies. We furthered West, seeing signs of water which meant there would be some tributes there. It took us a few hours to get anywhere near a water source, but when we did I almost began crying at the sight of who was there.

Coy and Finch – Ivy's fourteen year old District partner - both huddled up in a concaved tree, their camouflage good but not good enough because Livia and Cyra noticed them straight away. I was completely glued to my spot behind a fir and it was obvious Caggie had realised who it was that the two career girls were looking at with bloodthirsty eyes as she rested a hand on my shoulder. I made to go after the two girls as they entered the clearing but she stopped me, turning my body to face her.

"It's better if he doesn't see you. Mari, if you try to do anything they will kill you too and you don't want that." The girl from Eight hissed and I felt my heart become numb.

"I don't care if they kill me."

She shook me, "Yes you do. Because you have people to go back to, Mari, people who believe in you right now. So stay here."

I nodded rigidly, for once being intimidated by the skinny blonde girl and she stalked off to join them as they taunted the two young boys. I couldn't help but watch as their fragile bodies were dragged from their hiding place and they were forced to stand, the height of the careers meaning they were overshadowed greatly. But one thing I noticed was that Finch stood his ground, Coy positioned slightly behind him as he glared up at the people who were about to take his life. Finally I felt my feet move along the ground and I made to burst through the hedgerow and stop them, get them to kill me first; even though somewhere inside myself I knew it wouldn't matter.

I wasn't quick enough. My brain wiped all other thoughts as the silver blade of Livia's knife pierced through the fabric of Finch's shirt and into his heart and all I could see was the deep red liquid running onto the dried mud and into the small pool the other end of the river had created. And then my senses seemed to shut off all together as the small boy I had seen running around the docks when he was little and laughing with my brother as they raced each other home from school just a few months before, was pushed onto the ground and the edge of Cyra's axe sliced through his neck. I gasped as my eyes fixated on the blood pouring out and the now detached head rolling a few centimetres from the rest of his body, falling backwards.

My body began to shake, my head was spinning, my heart was pounding, lungs shrinking, throat closing in and vision became spotted. I could have stopped them, I could have made it dignified, I could have done something. His family had to see that, Kai had to see that and they all saw me see it too. Coy was so young, he didn't deserve it, he had so much of his life left to live and knowing him it would have been a successful one; but they killed him. I clutched my hands over my ears as all sorts of noises filled my hearing range, closing my eyes; rocking my body backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards. I opened my eyes to see Caggie's staring directly at me, her body crouched down to the right height since I was on the floor.

"Let's get you back to the Cornucopia. They'll be wondering where we are." She whispered lightly, an arm wrapping around my waist to help pull me off the ground.

I looked forwards only as we traced our route back and I found myself fiddling with the necklace around my neck as we went, like I was looking to it for comfort. And it was then I realised what the careers had been doing, what they were hoping to get out of our alliance. They wanted to do this to me, make me weak so they would be able to kill me easier. They only wanted me so I could help them and then they would just get rid of me after making me into a mess and I wasn't going to let them do that. We broke into the Cornucopia clearing as the Capitol anthem began to play and the faces of the two boys shone, breaking the darkness the sky held for just a moment. And I decided in that moment what I had to do – I had to make a break for it.

XX

"She's doing good, I'm sorry about your boy."

I looked up at the older victor, giving him a grateful nod as he adjusted his glasses and sat down with his fellow mentor a few seats away. It was people like him that made me thankful to have all the victors around me at times like these; because if you excluded One and Two, everyone was friends with each other, knowing what we'd all gone through and how hard it was to keep those kids alive in the arena.

Coy was a good boy, if he had to go, he deserved to go in a better way than he did. Oh and Mari, she was unstable anyway and seeing that must have messed with her even more – which is exactly what the careers wanted. She had to get away from them. Ivy was in the mountains with the boy from Ten, all Mari had to do was find them but I couldn't help her while she was still at the Cornucopia. Unless... Unless I told her in some sort of code.

"Hey Beetee?"