Okay guys, I know I said I may not be able to update again before the big 100th, but thanks to some wonderful encouragement from Mary, I kept writing yesterday and have ended up with my longest story chapter yet (hopefully, those who asked for longer chapters will approve)! I suppose the path of this story over chapters 10 and 11 would be my equivalent of the 100th if I had a say. I'd love to know what you think so far, so do leave a review if you have time. Thanks again for being such a supportive fandom for a new writer! - V :)

...

Chapter Eleven

Donna was sitting at her desk the next day, her back to the room gazing out of the window. Her body may have been in the office, but her mind was miles away, trying to picture a different life - away from PSL, away from New York, away from Harvey. Maybe it would be the best decision. I could have a new life there.

Louis stopped in her doorway, as he headed to Harvey's and watched her daydreaming, the confused look on her face speaking volumes. He had a hunch, so stepped inside and closed the door. "Jonathan told you about the London deal didn't he?"

Donna turned in her chair to face him and nodded. Louis leaned against her desk next to her and gave her a sympathetic look. "It's a great deal Donna, but I know this must be hard for you. When does he leave?"

"A couple of weeks. He asked me to go with him Louis. To help them run the theatre management company." She said it quietly and without any real emotion either way in her voice. Louis was stunned and it showed on his face. Donna smiled.

"Yeah, that was the look I think I had on my face too when he said it last night."

Louis paused, considering this information before speaking. "It would be an incredible opportunity Donna. I see why he wants you to take it. Don't misunderstand, I don't want you to go, but you should think about it."

Donna's eyes welled up and she nodded. "I know. I promised him I would."

Louis rested a hand on her shoulder briefly, before moving to leave. Donna called his name. "I haven't mentioned it to anyone else Louis and I'd like to keep it that way."

He nodded. "Of course. Your secret's safe with me. If you need to talk, you know where I'll be." With that, he left her alone with her thoughts.

…..

Harvey glanced in at Donna's office every time he passed. Her door was always closed - the unspoken "do not disturb" signal. He tried to read her expression. There was something he couldn't quite understand in her eyes, as if she was wrestling with something and it terrified him. He kept replaying Rachel's words in his head. What happened last night? Something definitely happened.

On the third pass of her office that day, he took a deep breath and tapped lightly on the door, causing her to look up and nod that he was okay to come in.

"What can I do for you Harvey?" She was distracted. He could hear it in her voice. "I just wanted to check everything was alright. I just had a feeling something was wrong."

She smiled. "Thanks, but I'm fine. I didn't sleep very well last night, that's all."

Because of what happened on your date? Harvey thought, but he kept quiet. He met her gaze and held it, perhaps a few seconds more than was needed. "Okay. If you're sure?"

At her nod, he stepped out of the room, back to his own. Something was going on, he was sure of it.

…..

Mike and Rachel were sitting in bed later that week, enjoying an early night away from the office and a bottle of good wine. "What do you want to do for your birthday next week?" Rachel asked him. He smiled, his arm around her, his hand gently stroking her arm. "I'm not that bothered Rachel. You know me. Maybe just a few drinks after work? We could ask the others too."

"Okay, if that's what you want. We can always get out of the city this weekend too. We've barely had time to stop for months now." He nodded and kissed the top of her head.

"So, I asked Donna about her date," Rachel informed him. He raised an eyebrow. "You asked? Don't you mean you interrogated?"

She waved his comment off with a hand. "I don't think she told me everything." He frowned. "What do you mean?" Rachel sat up properly in bed and turned to face him.

"Well, she told me all about the date. He'd arranged a candlelit dinner on the stage of the Delacorte Theater in Central Park. Low light, gourmet food and an incredible setting."

Mike looked impressed. "I admit that guy has got game. He makes the rest of us look bad! So, what's the problem? It sounds great."

"I just got the feeling she was leaving something out."

"Well, if she is, it's because she needs to right now. She'll talk to you when she wants to Rach." She snuggled back in to his arms again. "I hope you're right."

…..

Mike's drinks were only a couple of days before Jonathan was flying to London and as he arrived at Donna's office that night, she knew she had to make sure he was aware of the fact that she hadn't got around to telling anyone about his offer, or indeed that he was leaving.

"You can of course tell them you're leaving Jonathan, but I'm keeping to myself for a while the fact I may be coming too. I need to be sure and I know they'll only want to give me their opinions and I really don't need that. Alright?"

He nodded and put his arms around her. "So, does that mean you're leaning towards saying yes?" His eyes twinkled with excitement and she kissed him gently. "It means I'm giving it serious consideration. This is a huge decision for me. It would change my entire life."

"I know." He rested his forehead against hers affectionately.

Harvey chose that moment to walk past on his way to Mike's office. His eyes fixed on the two of them in Donna's office and he felt his stomach tighten. He kept walking, increasing his pace to put as much distance between them as possible.

…..

Mike and Rachel were both in Mike's office. "Are you guys ready to go?" Harvey asked as he arrived. They nodded, as Mike grabbed his suit jacket. "Yep. I said to meet downstairs."

Five minutes later, they were joined in the lobby by Louis, Gretchen, Donna and Jonathan, who gave Harvey a polite nod on seeing him. He was still certain Harvey was jealous of his relationship with Donna, but there was no way he was going to let it worry him. "Is Paula not coming Harvey?" Louis asked.

"Yes, but later. She has a longer client session this afternoon." Jonathan couldn't help his curiosity. "What does she do? I never had a chance to ask her last time." Harvey looked at him, doing his best to keep his face neutral. "She's a therapist."

Jonathan raised his eyebrows. "Interesting." This guy could do with one of those, he thought.

…..

Harvey was returning from the bar later, Paula having just arrived and in need of a drink, when Rachel discovered the news of Jonathan's imminent departure. "So, you're leaving?" She was a little stunned that her friend hadn't mentioned it.

He smiled. "Not permanently, but for a while. In the long term, I imagine that I'll live between here and London, depending on where I'm most needed."

Mike was surprised too. "It sounds like a fantastic deal Jonathan. I've heard from Rachel how it's cheaper to produce theatre over there than here. I assume that was a factor?"

Jonathan agreed. "Well, the opportunity came up there, but it's true. It's much more of a financial risk opening something here. Ideally we're hoping some of our future productions will transfer here, but we'll see how it goes."

Harvey was playing catch up on the conversation. Is he leaving?!

Paula noticed his confused expression, as he passed her a drink and she filled in the blanks. "Jonathan's setting up a theatre in London. It sounds very exciting." She looked to Jonathan. "It's still the best place in the world for theatre, but I'm biased I suppose!"

Jonathan laughed. "I'm going to remain neutral on that point I think!"

The same thought was going through Harvey's head, over and over. He's leaving. On a reflex, his eyes fell on Donna, who was chatting to Louis. Was that why she seemed off last week, because he told her he was leaving?

As the night moved on, Louis found himself standing next to Paula. Harvey and Mike were at the bar and Donna, Jonathan and Rachel were in the a huddle a little further off. Louis smiled at Paula, who he didn't really know. She seemed nice enough, but he still couldn't quite believe that Harvey had been her patient and she was now in a relationship with him. Maybe I should ask Dr Lipschitz what he thinks about that!

After an awkward start, he soon discovered that she loved the ballet and so they chatted easily for a while. He noticed her eyes wander and followed her gaze to the rest of the group, where Harvey was passing Donna a drink. He watched Paula observe the pair and the small frown appear on her face.

"Are you alright? You seem worried." She laughed awkwardly and bobbed her head, a little embarrassed at someone picking up on her discomfort. "It's silly, I know. It's just, knowing the history they have, I sometimes can't help wondering. And now Jonathan is leaving….."

"Oh, I wouldn't let their history worry you Paula. It was only one night after all and it was over a decade ago now." He gave her his most sympathetic smile; pleased he'd been able to help allay her concerns. Paula was silent for a few moments, before she gave Louis a tight smile. "Thank you Louis."

…..

Donna stood in the airport terminal with Jonathan a couple of days later. If someone had told her a few months ago that she would be in this position, she would never have believed it. He looked at the departure boards and sighed. "I should probably get through security, seeing as it takes so long these days."

She nodded, her emotions starting to get the better of her. Jonathan stepped closer to her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly. "I'll call you when I get there." She looked up at him and smiled. "You better."

He brushed the hair from her face and stroked her cheek with his hand. "I'm going to miss you," he murmured. She put her arms around his neck. "I'll miss you too." He kissed her gently. "Just think about it Donna. You could even come to London for a while, to come and see how you feel about the idea then."

She smiled. "I am thinking about it, believe me. It's almost all I think about!"

He nodded and reached to pick up his cabin bag, lifting it on to his shoulder. He went to leave, but turned back, leaning back in for another kiss. "You know I love you Donna." Before she could respond he had disappeared through in to security.

Donna stood there; Jonathan's words echoing in her head; inevitably bringing a memory she'd tried so hard to bury to the forefront of her mind, of another man standing in front of her, saying those exact same words. The only difference she realised, as her tears started to fall, was that this time, she knew that the person who'd spoken them truly meant them. She just wasn't sure if that made her happy or incredibly sad.

…..

Harvey was opening a bottle of wine that night, as he took a seat next to Paula on the couch in his apartment. She'd been quiet and he filled the silence with stories about the day; Louis's obsession with his cat and Mike's growing panic about having to write marriage vows.

He felt more positive than he had in a while and he was pleased. Paula looked down at her hands, before standing up and pacing his apartment.

"Is everything alright? Did you have a tough client today?"

Paula gave a small ironic laugh and bit her lip. She'd had a couple of days since the drinks to let everything settle in her head and now it had, she couldn't lie to herself. She turned back to Harvey, who was still sitting on the sofa and, as if a reflex, she sat down in one of his chairs, so she was opposite him. She didn't like losing control and this position gave her a sense of retaking that control.

Harvey's eyes narrowed and he frowned in confusion. "What's going on Paula? What's happened?"

"I've been thinking a lot the last few weeks, going through everything in my mind, hoping that you would remove the doubts I've been having, or be honest with me, if those doubts were correct." She paused taking a breath, reaching for the water that was one the table. "But, it all finally made sense to me this week. The last piece of the puzzle making the whole picture come to life and I've realised something; you can't be honest with me Harvey, because you aren't being honest with yourself."

"Paula, I don't understand…" He fumbled for the right words.

"Do you know why you're in such a good mood tonight Harvey, because I think I do."

Oh great, she is actually analysing me! He sighed. "Paula, come one. We've had a nice night….." She continued to look at him, with her serious, no nonsense face. He shrugged and threw his hands in the air. "I don't know why! Nothing's gone wrong at work all week. That's new. I irritated Louis, by replacing all of his photos of himself and his cats in his office with photos of me. I don't know, but I'm guessing you are going to tell me!"

"You're pleased Jonathan has gone aren't you?" Her face was poker straight. He felt his temper flare and he shook his head. "Oh no. Don't you dare say that to me! That's not fair."

"Not fair or not true Harvey?" He realised then that she was in full therapist mode. Christ, she's even got us sitting in the same positions as her damn office! He sprang up, as it the couch was on fire and paced over to the drinks trolley, pouring a scotch.

"Both, Paula," be replied. She turned in her chair towards where he now stood looking out of the windows. "That's not true though is it? You didn't like him. It was always clear whenever we were in the same room as him and now he's gone and it's time you face it, before you hurt either of us anymore."

"Nothing has changed just because that guy has gone Paula."

She sighed. This was so much harder than she had expected. She berated herself inside for making such a silly mistake, for not listening to her instincts after their very first date.

"You've mentioned everyone tonight Harvey. Mike and Rachel's wedding, Louis and his cat. Hell, you even referred to Gretchen questioning your manliness, but you haven't mentioned Donna."

He hated this. "Because there's nothing to say!" He shook his head and drank his scotch, before reaching to pour another.

"I think there's too much to say Harvey, when it comes to you and Donna and I should have faced that sooner. I suppose I didn't see the whole picture until this week and then it all made sense to me."

Harvey turned around to face her, his voice rising defensively. "The whole picture? What are you trying to say?!"

"When you came to see me Harvey, it was because you were having panic attacks because Donna stopped working for you, or left you, as you put it. We spoke about those feelings of abandonment, of how they linked to your mother. I even put your dream, the one you were so desperate to lie about, down to your deep-rooted issues with your mother."

Harvey paced the room angrily. "I do NOT want to discuss that! Are you going to bill me once we're done?!"

"I could stand and yell at you Harvey and just leave, but I'm doing you a favour right now that maybe you will understand one day." She was so calm, detached even. It unnerved him. Before he could speak, she continued.

"In all the time I have known you Harvey, you never told me that you slept with Donna."

He met her eyes, shocked at her knowing that fact. "How do you know that?" She shook her head. "It doesn't matter how I know Harvey."

"Well, I think it does! Did Donna tell you?!"

Paula closed her eyes and took a deep breath, but somehow stayed in her seat, as if keeping that position kept this from escalating in to a screaming match. "Why didn't you ever tell me that Harvey?"

"Because it isn't important! It was one night God damn it, over a decade ago! We don't speak of it, so why would I talk to anyone else about it?!"

Paula nodded, working things through in her mind. "So you both agreed not to talk about it; to focus on working together instead; to pretend it never happened. But it did happen Harvey and you've never forgotten and neither has she."

He ran his hand through his hair and drank some more scotch, the way she was constantly repeating his name driving him nuts. "I would be angrier with you, if it wasn't so clear to me how in denial you are. I should have seen it sooner. Maybe I did and pretended not to."

He turned towards the kitchen counter and rested his hands on its cool surface, his mind a mess.

"Why did Donna go and work for Louis last year Harvey?" He turned to face Paula and seeing her sitting there, he knew she deserved an honest answer. "Because I told her I loved her, but I didn't say how and she couldn't deal with that."

Paula sighed. She'd suspected something along those lines ever since Louis had inadvertently revealed the truth of their history to her. "Why didn't you say how? Didn't she deserve some clarity about something so significant?"

He started to pace again. "I cannot believe we are talking about Donna. God, damn it Paula!" His voice was rising, but he was controlling his anger. "Well, we are. So accept it!" Her voice wavered slightly, as the conversation started to cut her more deeply than she wanted it to. "So…why?"

He threw his arms in the air again. "I don't know why!"

"Yes, you do."

He stared at her; still stunned this was where their night had ended up. He swallowed and opened his mouth to speak, but had no idea what to say. "I thought this was all linked to your mother Harvey and that was largely true. You have never allowed yourself a real connection because of your inability to trust people not to hurt you. I warned you about that."

"And I resolved things with her! Things aren't perfect, but we're in a better place than we were! Plus I'm here with you, aren't I?!"

She gave him a sad smile. "And what made you finally speak to your mother Harvey? You implied it was because of me, but I don't think that's the whole truth is it? Donna convinced you to do it, didn't she?"

He looked away, the memory of Donna, quietly pleading for him to go and see his mother filling his head. He simply nodded in response.

Paula sighed and finally stood up, walking across the room to pick up her bag and her coat. "I can't make you face the truth of your feelings for her Harvey. This has become personal for me when it never should have."

He met her eyes as she put on her coat. "I let myself get swept away by something that wasn't real." She bit her lip, holding back her emotions in front of him as best she could. She walked towards the door, but turned back to him. "I hope someone helps you to be honest with yourself Harvey. You're only going to hurt yourself more if you don't and probably her too."

With that, she left, the click of the door shutting behind her amplified in the silence of Harvey's apartment. He stood there for a few moments, trying to process what had just happened, before sitting down on one of the kitchen stools, resting his head against his hands, as the full spectrum of emotions ran through him.

He tried to sleep that night, but it was useless. Instead he ran; longer than he'd done in years, in the vain hope that eventually he would be able to clear the fear, anger and confusion from his mind, but it seemed no run would be long enough to achieve that.

…..

Donna had a long meeting with a series of recruiters the following day. She'd been dreading spending a whole day in the conference room, but actually it was a blessing, as it gave her something to concentrate on. She had no time to think about Jonathan's offer, his last words to her at the airport or the memories of Harvey and that painful time that they had conjured up.

She managed to gab half an hour for lunch and it was then that she passed Rachel in the corridor outside her office. "Hey Donna. I've been wanting to catch you today."

"Sorry Rachel. It's a busy day today. I'm about to go to another meeting that will last most of the day."

Her friend nodded and touched her arm affectionately. "Did Jonathan get to the airport? Are you okay?" Her concern was sweet, but Donna was relieved she genuinely had no time to talk. "I'm fine Rach, honestly. I'll catch you later." With that she hurried away, to immerse herself in her work.

…..

The storm that had been brewing inside Harvey since the previous night finally made land fall in the office later that day, as the evening set in and the office emptied of all but the truly dedicated or those on a deadline.

Harvey had arrived late by even his standards that day. Having barely slept and still reeling from the previous night, he was not in a mood to be approached, as those who tried to talk to him discovered. Including Mike.

Having gone in to ask about a specific client, he'd barely uttered his question, before Harvey snapped at him. "Do I have to hold your damn hand Mike? Can't you just get the hell on with it?!"

Mike was taken aback. He'd seen pissed off Harvey, but usually he'd been able to at least understand why he was angry. This on the other hand was something else entirely. "What the hell is wrong with you? Auditioning for the nickname The Dark Lord? If so, keep it up! You'll get unanimous endorsement!"

Harvey groaned. "Mike. Just. Leave. Me. Alone." His friend didn't need telling twice and left, stopping by his fiancé's office to warn her to avoid the storm clouds gathering around the managing partner.

…..

Harvey heard Donna return to her office and make a couple of follow up calls regarding the meetings she'd had earlier that day. He'd been turning things over in his head all day and he'd had enough. The more he replayed his night, the more angry, confused and frustrated he became. He stood up and walked the short distance in to her office.

The lack of a knock was Donna's first clue that something was amiss. Her second was the look on his face. Whether it was anger, frustration or sadness, she could not determine for certain. She tilted her head to the side, as she frowned. "Harvey?"

"What did you say to Paula about us?" It was possibly the last thing she'd expected and she was taken by surprise, momentarily lost for words. "What do you mean Harvey? When?"

"You tell me Donna?" His voice had an edge she'd not heard directed at her since she'd first moved to Louis's desk and she did not like it.

"I don't know what's happened Harvey, but I'm almost certain it has nothing to do with me, but I assume you're referring to something in particular, so why don't you tell me?!"

He moved further in to the room. "How about telling her you didn't approve?" She exhaled. "I did say that ages ago. I don't think a therapist should get involved with a former patient. She seemed to accept it as my opinion, so what's the problem Harvey?"

"Did you see me sticking my nose in to your relationship Donna?!" Is this really happening? It was as if someone else entirely was standing in front of her.

"I wasn't sticking my nose in to anything. She basically asked if I approved and I told her the truth. And, you can barely look at Jonathan, let alone speak to him!" She could feel her voice rising and was pleased her door was closed. "Harvey, I've said I'm happy for you. What on earth…" He cut in before she could finish.

"Or, how about telling her we slept together?! I thought we were meant to never think of that again Donna?!"

She was speechless. Who the hell had told Paula that? Rachel? Mike? Louis? She realised Harvey perhaps didn't know there were a few more people in on that secret these days.

"I told her NOTHING about that! Why would I?!"

"So who did?! I wondered if maybe you wanted to interfere a bit more!"

Donna stood up, moving around her desk. "Have you lost your mind Harvey?! Have you forgotten who you're speaking to?! You should know I'd have never done such a thing and I think I deserve an apology!"

He laughed angrily. "An apology? Get in line. Everyone seems to want one of those from me at the moment!"

Donna was too angry now to hold it back. "Well, I'm not surprised if this is how you're treating everyone! What would Jessica think?!"

That only stoked the flames. "Oh go ahead. Tell me all the ways I've fucked up. I'm listening."

His behaviour was so hostile, she was concerned what had happened to trigger it and moved towards him to try and calm him. "Harvey, let's just calm down and talk. What's happened?"

He moved away, walking the length of her office before spinning round the other way. All of the confusion he'd been feeling since the night before was pouring out of him in the worst possible way. "I find it incredible Donna that you can make comments on my relationship; judge it and decide it's not up to the moral barometer of Donna Paulsen, when you're hardly one to talk right now, are you?!"

Donna's eyes darkened with anger and hurt. "What is that supposed to mean?" She walked closer to him, determined not to back down. He did the same, mirroring her movement until he was standing in front of her. "You take the moral, ethical high ground with Paula, when you seem to think it's fine for you to fuck one of our clients!"

He regretted it the moment he'd said it. The vile nature of such an unfair comment woke him up to how the hell he was acting. He reached for her. "Donna. I'm sorry…I…"

She was so quick, he didn't see it coming, simply feeling the sharp sting of the slap, as her hand connected with the side of his face. The action seemed to stun them both momentarily, before he tried to reach for her again, his hand catching her upper arm. Donna, however, wrenched herself free.

He saw the damage he'd done the moment he looked at her face. Her lips trembled ever so slightly, but it was her eyes that scared him the most. They were filled with an anger and pain he'd never seen in the 13 years he'd known her and it was aimed at him. He felt the air leave his lungs. "Donna…please…..I…"

"Go to hell Harvey." The words hit him like a second slap, as she grabbed her bag, opened her office door and walked out.

He stood there, paralysed in horror at what had just happened, with the person he cared about most. He bent his knees slightly to keep his balance. What the hell have you done?!

…..

Donna found herself taking the elevator up rather than down. She needed to breath and her brain irrationally associated the height of the rooftop with fresher air than being down on street level.

As she stepped out on to the rooftop, she took a few gulps of air and bent over with the sudden urge to be sick. After taking a few short breaths though, she started to calm down and walked to the far end of the rooftop, where she could collect her thoughts in peace.

The emotional rollercoaster of the last 24 hours caught up with her and she started to cry, silently at first, before the sobs came. She didn't hold them back. They gave her a source of release.

She was like this when Louis found her, after he stepped on to the roof, following a visit to his office by Mike, who'd witnessed some of what had just occurred from the corridor. Louis hadn't said anything to Mike, but he'd known where Donna would be. This was where she'd come to think last time.

He walked over to her cautiously, not wanting to crowd her. As he laid a hand gently on her shoulder, she turned to him. "Donna what's happened?!" She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't and he hugged her tightly. "It's alright," he whispered.

They stayed that way until she stopped crying and pulled back. "I'm sorry Louis. I'm sure you don't need this."

He shook his head. "You're my friend Donna. I'm always here and I'm worried. What happened? Mike said there was a nasty argument. What the hell has Harvey done now?!"

"I don't know what's happened Louis, but I've never seen him like that - hurtful and cruel. I couldn't recognise him."

Louis was silent. He had no idea what had triggered Harvey's meltdown, but he sensed Donna was more involved than she perhaps realised. "Go home Donna. Get some sleep and tomorrow he'll have calmed down and will no doubt explain himself."

She leaned against the wall of the roof and shook her head. "I'm not sure I even care right now Louis. I'm so tired of trying to decipher how Harvey feels, of always thinking about how he's affected by events. What about how I feel Louis? He doesn't seem to give a damn about that."

Louis put his arm around her shoulder. "I think the thing he cares about most is how you feel Donna. He is just utterly useless at showing it."

She wiped her tears away with her hand. "I don't think I believe that Louis." Staring out across the city, her mind was a jumbled mess of confusion. She needed to take some control back and so she made a decision. "I need to take some time off."

He glanced at her. "Of course Donna. Take a couple of days to have some space, let you both calm down." She shook her head at his statement. "No Louis. I mean a couple of weeks. Effective immediately. Can I do that? I assume there's nothing in the bylaws regarding holiday entitlement of the COO?"

He smiled weakly at her. "No, there isn't. If you need time away Donna, then you should take it."

She exhaled, breathing out through her mouth to steady herself. "I need some time to think."

The implication of her next statement hit him hard. "I'm going to go to London."

His eyes welled up, as he asked the question to which he almost didn't want to know the answer. "For good?" She looked to the ground. "I'll go for a couple of weeks. I need time to think about what I want and I can't do that here, especially not after tonight."

He understood. She deserved the space to focus on herself. "Then you should go. You know I don't want you to take that job Donna, but it's for selfish reasons." His voice cracked a little. "I can't imagine you not being here." He wiped a tear from his eye and looked at her again. "But, you need to decide what will make you happy and you should take every opportunity to help you find out."

She smiled, as she wiped her eyes away. "Thank you Louis." She gave him a warm hug and he held her tightly for a few minutes, before letting go. "You'll call me when you get there?"

She nodded and moved to go back inside. Louis called after her, as she reached the doorway. "I don't know what he said Donna, but I know all he wants is for you to be happy." He paused, hesitating. "He loves you."

Donna closed her eyes briefly, before meeting Louis's gaze. "I think he's too afraid to ever love anyone Louis," she murmured, before disappearing back inside.

…..

Harvey slammed his door behind him that night and sank on to the couch. Why the hell did you do that, you fucking idiot?!

He'd stormed past Mike, not giving him a chance to say anything. It had crossed his mind to go straight to Donna's, but he knew she'd never let him in. He'd give her the night to calm down and then grovel like the idiot he was tomorrow.

The guilt and regret he felt however, were consuming him, so he pulled out his phone and dialled her number. It went straight to voicemail. "Donna…I…..I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Can we talk tomorrow, or tonight, if you want…I'm sorry…" He hung up and immediately dialled her apartment landline, her machine picking up the call, on to which he left the same, guilt-ridden message.

He sat there in silence, the enormity of just how stupid he'd been hitting him. How could you say those things to her? What the fuck is wrong with you? The questions repeated themselves over and over in his head all night.

…..

Donna didn't waste any time that night. She booked a flight, found a nice hotel for the following night and made enquiries with a few inviting apartments in Central London via Airbnb about an immediate check-in. She was on autopilot, as she packed a suitcase and carry-on bag. She could work everything else out later. Thank God, I don't need a visa for the UK, she thought, as she folded clothes in to her bags.

It was only after she'd packed, that she dared to play her voicemails. He sounded more like himself, albeit a broken version of himself, but she didn't have the strength to deal with him. She needed to get away. She hadn't even told Jonathan that she was coming yet. Time on her own was what she craved right now.

She crawled under the covers for a few hours, before getting up and heading for the airport. Once she'd made the decision to go, she wanted to go as fast as possible. She also suspected Harvey would appear at her door and she didn't want to be there, to give him a chance to try and change her mind.

…..

Harvey waited until what he felt was an acceptable hour, before heading to Donna's apartment. He knocked, but there was no answer. He knocked a couple more times; finally calling her number and hearing the machine pick up on the other side of the door. There was no answer on her mobile either. Has she gone to work already?

The office was deserted when he got there. As he neared her office, he could see she wasn't there. It was just as it had been the night before. He was confused now. If she's not at home and not here, where is she? Was she just ignoring me at her place?

He moved to his office and sat down on the couch, dialling her number. It rang and rang, before her voicemail kicked in. Hearing her voice filled him with more guilt than he'd ever known. "Donna, I don't know if you were in or not? If you didn't want to see me, I understand. You're not at work, so just let me know where you are. Please…..Donna…I'm so sorry." His voice cracked and he hung up, desperate to hear from her.

…..

Donna had stared at her phone as Harvey's calls came through. The first she assumed from outside her apartment, the second thirty minutes later, she guessed must be from the office.

She'd almost answered the second one, as his name flashed up on her phone, but she held herself back. This was the best thing right now; distance, lots and lots of distance.

When he rang the third time, an hour later, she hesitated yet again. She hated that a part of her wanted to talk to him, to hear him say he was sorry in a way she would believe. Not just sorry for last night, but all of it.

She didn't answer though. She couldn't. Instead, she approached the gate, presented her boarding pass and boarded her flight.

…..

Well, that's it for now. I had a lot I wanted to achieve in this chapter, including trying to redeem Paula Agard and making Harvey suffer a little bit more. Knowing I was planning this rooftop talk between Donna and Louis is maybe why I saw those photos from the 100th and worried it meant Donna was deciding to leave! Lol. Anyway, do let me know what you think and thanks for reading!