Elementary, My Dear Naruto

051. Water

Water was eternal, Taiki's first teacher had once told him, back in the Academy. Boil it, it will rain back to earth sooner or later, freeze it and it will melt eventually, pour in on the ground and the plants will bring it back up to the air. To be a water ninja was to be mutable, adaptable, forever changing. He had forgotten this for a long time, as his whole village had. Maybe Kiri would be a better place if more people had listened to Yamadera-sensei. That he was being given a crash course in adaptability by a fire shinobi was irony that didn't escape him.

"You are just going to go to your Hokage with them in tow? Without even writing to her first?" he asked with some difficulty. His gaze moved from Sai, who was staring at Kabuto in a manner that was both intrigued and vaguely horrified, to Kabuto, who was eating pumpkin bread and smiling like nothing was wrong in the world, to Sasuke, who was glaring at Naruto, but untied and not trying to escape.

"Of course. If I gave her advanced warning that Danzo-bastard would get warned as well. Don't worry, Tsunade-baachan is gonna do the right thing; she ran away from Konoha and gambled and drank all over the continent because she hated Konoha getting people killed, how you think she's going to take the news about Danzo?" Naruto asked back and munched on his ramen happily.

"You call her baachan behind her back?" Konatsu asked with sardonic lilt in her voice, raising one eyebrow. "Are you sure she will want to help you?"

"I call her baachan to her face. Don't you know how old she is?" Naruto asked. All three former Kiri-nin choked in their own spit as they imagined what would happen in Kiri if anyone, absolutely anyone, was to call the Mizukage names. If Naruto really could get away with that – and he was the most honest person Taiki had ever met – just maybe the mad idea of ambushing the Hokage with this issue would work out.

Tsubaki's hand had frozen in midair, her chopsticks holding a few leeks like they were a shield between her and the crazy world. She was muttering under her breath and Taiki caught the words "technically true, kind of" and "what happened to the world I used to live in anyway" – he echoed the sentiment fully.

"Are you going to return here?" Miwa asked, wringing her hem in hands. She was sitting next to Naruto as usual, with an abandoned pad and a pencil on the crate table in front of her. Her eyes were almost feverish when she looked at the boy under her lashes.

"Sure, I have responsibilities here and besides, Ero-sensei would have an apoplexy if he came here and I was missing," Naruto promised happily. Miwa brightened instantly, but Taiki remembered a certain gigantic sword-wielding toad, what that had to mean and opened his mouth again even though he wasn't really surprised anymore.

"You call Jiraiya of the Sannin Ero-sensei behind his back?" he asked. Irreverence, thy name is Naruto, he thought. Or possibly Uzumaki; he had heard stories about the clan prior to the destruction of Uzushiogakure.

"I call him Ero-sensei to his face. You know he writes the Icha Icha, right?" Naruto cheerfully destroyed yet another piece of reality. Now Taiki couldn't work his jaw open anymore and he wondered if he was slipping into disbelieving catatonia of some sort. The name Jiraiya was on the covers and there were rumours of of it being that Jiraiya, but there were always rumours. He hadn't really believed, had thought it propaganda by Konoha's enemies, because how could the legendary…

"I was his proofreader for a while and let me tell you, those books aren't all that great," Naruto confided in them.

By the time Taiki's brain could process new information again it was decided that Konatsu and Kaede would remain in Makimura and further train the fire brigade, what with being dead and not in need of shelter, assisted by Idate. Miwa had promised to take responsibility for fixing the safehouse up again and writing more mantras; Naruto had tried to escape his cult leader status by pointing out that Shodaime Hokage had fought Kyuubi first, which had only worked to encourage the girl as now he needed to be added to the saints too. And Rikudo Sennin for a good measure because what proper jinchuuriki cult didn't mention him?

Adaptability, adaptability, adaptability… Hell, at this point he wouldn't have been surprised if Naruto's affinity happened to be water.

"Do you know what your elemental affinity is?" he asked, giving the boy an assessing look. In Fire Country fire was the most common, hence the name of the Elemental Country, but there were exceptions – among the most ironic their first Hokage who had been earth and water.

"It's wind," Naruto said happily and now Taiki couldn't help but laugh. Of course, contrary to the very end.

052. Fire

The town of Makimura didn't really know darkness until the final hours before the dawn. The promenade was still alight with the lights of the restaurants and bars where the tourists partied long past the midnight and the sounds of laughter and music filled the night. Couples walked the streets from one amusement to another or returning to their hotel, but none saw the shadow leaping quickly from one rooftop to another. Yakushi Kabuto had given his minder a slip and walked the night of Makimura.

It was the last night before the group would leave for Konoha and he was checking on Sasuke, as it wouldn't do for the Uchiha to get cold feet and attempt a last minute escape. He was grateful they were leaving, to tell the truth. In Makimura Naruto-sama was in so high demand, between the starry-eyes assistant and her constant demands he approve some of her writings, the head inn girls and the casino boat manager, the nervous owner of the delicacy shop which had first offered Naruto-sama cover, the fire brigade leadership, said leadership's obsession with taking over the kitchen and making explosives hidden in fruits that the clone jutsu was rather necessary. Add to that keeping both Sasuke and Sai under control, guarded by vigilant Tsubaki and Taiki, and he barely had any time for Kabuto. They wouldn't be alone on the road to Konoha, but four people were better than closer to twenty every day.

The safehouse was the old-fashioned type with one big room that served as living area, dining room and bedroom that Naruto-sama shared with his minions. It had obviously been a bit tight fit even before the arrival of Kabuto, his gift and the Root shinobi, but expecting eight people, three of them under suspicion and guard, to sleep in the same room was simply impractical. Naruto-sama had appropriated Matsuzaki's store house for temporary lodgings which had led to arguments about the placing of the three guests. Tsubaki had insisted that Kabuto and Sasuke be separated lest they intrigue together, a sensible precaution in itself, but this had left the question of dividing the ninja to guard the three. Tsubaki and Taiki, the most capable of Naruto-sama's underlings, not counting Kabuto, couldn't share a guard, which had irritated the woman terribly.

In the end Tsubaki had decided to watch Kabuto in the safehouse's storage room while Taiki was looking after Sasuke and Sai in the store house. Kabuto was glad a jounin had been given to Naruto-sama as a back-up in a peaceful place like Makimura – Konoha was the only village populous enough to assign jounin so.

He was less happy that fooling the woman with genjutsu had been so easy, though it worked for him now.

Taiki was harder. While Tsubaki had been a solid jounin, good enough at everything, but exceptional at nothing, the man was a former Anbu member, from a subdivision that dealt with some of the most desperate people in the five countries. He didn't bother with genjutsu at all, but employed one of the Yamanaka family jutsu and deepened the man's light sleep to deep unconsciousness.

There was a small cot on the room set aside for Sasuke, in between a few crates. Kabuto was entirely unsurprised to find that the boy was walking a circle around the small floor space like a caged animal. On the other side of a higher wall of crates Sai wasn't asleep either, but Kabuto didn't mind the other listening in. He hadn't come to spare Sasuke's privacy.

"That is not a good idea," he stated, amused when the Uchiha turned sharply around, his face flushing in the dim light that reached the room through a small window near the ceiling. Sasuke had a long way to go before he reached his brother's level if he couldn't even control his own reactions.

Kabuto knew how this conversation would go and he knew it would more than likely deal some psychological damage to Sasuke; there were things the child wasn't ready to confront yet. But as long as he didn't leave without Naruto-sama's permission, Kabuto was fine with that.

"How he is so strong?" Sasuke spat the question out. "I can understand the cult; they are just weak civilians. I can understand the two from Mist; they never even made proper genin. But Taiki? You? What Naruto did to get you!"

"Do you know what the Will of Fire is? Outsiders take it for Konoha mysticism, philosophy – and Konoha lets them think what they will. In truth it is a chakra control technique. Not one I have ever managed; I'm much too fragmented and this technique requires the user is sane." He knew he held Sasuke's full attention. The Council's handprint was clearly visible on the boy. One so easily exploitable should never have been allowed outside the village's walls. But Danzo liked them broken, liked them easily owned – and if Kabuto's only choice had been by whom, he had at least made a choice that didn't break him more, that bandaged him. That might even fix him one day.

"Chakra is half mental energy. The Will of Fire is to make your goal, your dream or a mission, into an inseparable part of yourself. To eat it and drink it, to breathe it, to make it your cloak and bed and to make it your blade – and remain a whole person. It is a delicate balance to find, one which requires a great deal of… maybe idealism is a wrong word. The person has to be wholesome enough that their goal doesn't destroy them." There were other focusing techniques that didn't have such harrowing requirements, of course, but Kabuto wasn't there for Sasuke's benefit. He didn't mention them.

"How come killing Itachi isn't wholesome enough? He is a traitor, a kinslayer! He's still a threat to everybody!" Sasuke shouted. Really, such an uncontrolled boy. Even if Sai had been asleep earlier, now he couldn't possibly be.

"You didn't care about the threat he is, you want to stop hurting. There is nothing wrong with that –" Now for the kill, when the throat was bared. "But while you hate him, you love him also. You can't master enough focus with the divide inside you and this is why Naruto-sama has surpassed you. Within him there is only unity." The fault was in Sasuke, not in Konoha. And if the boy broke a little, Kabuto was certain that Naruto-sama could shore him up again. Now it was better to return before Naruto-sama's shift was up.

053. Earth

Sandaime Tsuchikage Onoki of Both Scales was an old man and age brought some privileges with it to balance the weakening, aching body and finding you had outlived pretty much everyone, friends, allies and enemies likewise. One of the privileges he had claimed was a small army of scribes who did his paperwork according to his orders. They were all former active duty jounin of his village, retired either due to age or injury, and he knew he could trust them implicitly. These days he only signed the papers with his own hand. This was important.

Deep within the belly of the earth a sure hand had painted an old document white with correction fluid, taking special care with the nooks and crannies left around and inside the kanji of Onoki's name to make certain no difference in the colour of the paper could be detected.

ASSASSINATION OF MORIMOTO TOMOMI, B-CLASS

RECIPIENT: KAKUZU

General Information

Morimoto Tomomi (chuunin, register ID 015652) is to be considered a liability to the security of Iwagakure no Sato due to the high level of emotional dependence of Tsuchikage candidate Deidara (jounin, register ID 015611) on this individual. In broad terms codependency refers to the dependence on the needs of or control of another, often characterized by excessive compliance or control patterns. For further information on the decision-making criteria, consult file: Psychological Assessments, Deidara, ID 015611.

Minimum Requirements

Morimoto Tomomi is to die within three days of the acceptance of this mission by means that implicate a foreign village or a known missing-nin.

Payment

Standard B-class assassination payment, to be rendered after proof of death has been given. Due to the confidential nature of the mission no receipt will be given.

SIGNED

Sandaime Tsuchikage Onoki

In the Country of Earth an explosive had been prepared and the fuse was slowly burning shorter and shorter.

054. Wind

Naruto had arrived to Tea Country by land, but he left by sea. The Sea Sprite was a quick tourist ship that would take them from Makimura to a Fire Country city near the borderlands that separated them from Water Country's sphere of influence, cutting the curve of the Tea Country Foreland. He had been on ships before, mostly during his short time as Jiraiya's apprentice, but it was still new enough that he ran to the ship's bow to meet the waves and the wind head on. It was a beautiful day and the whole world was blue and white; sky and fluffy clouds above him, the deep blue sea with whitecap waves below him. The wind pushed his back like it had the strength to lift him up and Naruto spread his arms.

"One day I'm going to fly!" he shouted over the wind and the waves to the presence behind him. It was a bit cold and the tourists were all huddled under the deck, leaving only the shinobi hiding among them to enjoy the space and the privacy.

"Be careful, Naruto-sama," Kabuto said and stepped beside him. For once Tsubaki-chan wasn't standing guard and Naruto wondered if his friend maybe used a clone to ditch her. He knew she meant well and was just worried about him and stuff, but it was really difficult to have conversations when she listened to everything; neither Kabuto nor Sasuke nor apparently Sai were very open.

"Not one day," Kabuto said quietly and Naruto spun around to ask if he knew some really cool wind jutsu that made people fly, but Kabuto wasn't looking at him at all, but towards north-east. That was where Konoha was, far, far beyond even the best looking glass' sight. "Not just one day when the plans have reached their completion, but three days from now." Ah, he was talking about Danzo.

"Yeah, don't leave to tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination's a bad habit," he shared Iruka-sensei's pearls of wisdom. "Who knows how many people's lives he's ruining even now?" The thought made him angry and a lick of fire ran over his chakra, but he pushed it back, frowning. Come to think of it, Kyuubi had been really active lately. What was up with the furball?

"Naruto-sama, I would advise you," Kabuto offered with the same kind of voice Naruto had used Ebisu and some other guys use when they talked to Sandaime-jiji and now Tsunade-baachan, he guessed – it was kind of insistent, but also really, he didn't know. Obedient-like.

(Naruto's vocabulary had drastically improved since Jiraiya had taken him as a student, but the words subservient and deferential had yet to make it to his thesaurus. For all his griping Jiraiya actually preferred it that way.)

"Sasuke is precious to you. Your village is precious to you; this is true, right?" he asked, and Naruto was going to answer of course, but Kabuto wasn't done yet. "Then don't let Sasuke be there when we accost Danzo. In fact… it might be better if you weren't there either." The smile he gave was sheepish, like the one he had given in the Chuunin Exams when he had admitted failing the exams how many times already. Naruto didn't like it, though back then he had felt intense kinship.

"Why not? And don't smile if you don't mean it, that's as almost as creepy as Sai's," he complained, though Kabuto couldn't quite meet the same creepy levels with his smile alone; at least he knew how his face worked and didn't look like he was contemplating axe murder.

"Am I your precious person, Naruto-sama?" Kabuto asked, the smile disappearing. He had that intense look again, like when he had looked towards Konoha.

"Of course," Naruto said. It wasn't like went around befriending people for the sheer hell of it. He always meant business.

"Would you deceive me knowingly?" Kabuto asked, his eyes doing this funny flutter that Naruto wasn't sure how to read.

"Of course not!" he denied hotly.

"Trust me, please, Naruto-sama. You are better off not meeting Danzo. He can be very garrulous when it suits him." Naruto was briefly distracted by wondering what garrulous meant and then the moment was over, Tsubaki-chan walking towards him with sullen Sasuke in tow. Sasuke was pale like a ghost and his eyes had dark shadows, like he hadn't slept a wink last night.

"Okay, I guess. Sasuke's been really weird anyway," he promised. "And Sai too. What you said to him anyway?" he asked. Sai was in some strange sort of limbo; he hadn't really renounced Danzo, but he wasn't protesting anything either. Actually, he was walking around looking like someone hit him over the head with a really big hammer. He was making frantically notes to his book – with normal ink – and giving Naruto some really funny stares.

"Maybe you should ask him. I'm certain he would welcome a private conversation with you, Naruto-sama," Kabuto said and then Tsubaki-chan and Sasuke were there, Sasuke avoiding his eyes for all he was worth.

The wind was at their back, taking them closer and closer to Konoha.

055. Spirit

Many scholars theorized that the Tailed Beasts were personification of negative emotions, borne out of the bad karma of the sinful humankind; that Juubi had been the Negativity Undivided and that The Sage of Six Paths had broken it to its base components. They theorized that Kyuubi was the Personification of Hate.

It was complete rubbish, of course, but what else should be expected from the vicious ants? The only human worth anything had been their father and now Rikudo Sennin was two long millennia dead. It was true that Kurama could sense negative emotions, a fact which hadn't made his current incarceration any more comfortable.

He could actually feel a measure of sympathy towards Uzumaki Naruto. Unlike Uchiha Madara who had simply taken control of him, calling him a weapon, and unlike Senju Hashirama who had sealed him into his wife, unlike Uzumaki Mito who had helped her husband and chained him and unlike Uzumaki Kushina who had made an informed decision and accepted her duty as his prison, Naruto had been a baby whose opinion no-one had been interested in. Kurama had simply been shoved into him, a little baby in Post-Kyuubi Konoha, and Naruto was almost as trapped as Kurama was. But at that point Kurama was fed up with the jinchuuriki and with the Juubi-damned village the Uchiha and Senju had spawned, he'd had half of his chakra violently ripped away from him, his current jinchuuriki was the son of the man who had done it and the Shinigami's seal would see to it that if the little insect died with the seal still whole, he would die as well! What little sympathy Kurama felt for Naruto was by far overshadowed by his hate.

No, he wasn't personification of hate, but he was living up to his reputation nicely. And just when he had thought it impossible, Naruto had come up with an entirely new and fascinating way to fan those flames.

A jinchuuriki cult! A religion that beatified those reviled human cages, a religion that had first claimed Yondaime Hokage as a saint and now claimed Rikudo Sennin as well! His father!

He had always seized any kind of opportunity to gain control over Naruto, provoking his rage and so allowing his influence within his chakra to consume the boy, frustrated beyond measure that while humans were so very capable of rage, this one just wouldn't allow himself to fully give into it! Now he had redoubled his efforts, searching for the smallest opening, but there was new security in his own strength in Naruto, something that couldn't be called serenity, but that still kept anger at bay even when he fought the damnable Uchiha. Kurama threw himself against the gates of his prison and cursed Yondaime Hokage and Shiki Fuujin, cursed Umino Iruka and Haku and Uchiha Sasuke.

I'm not going to let you hurt Iruka anymore, you jerk!

When a person has something important they want to protect, that's when they can become truly strong.

I won't let you leave, even if I have to beat you within an inch of your life!

Naruto had learned what shouldn't have been possible for him to ever know, but Kurama wasn't beaten yet. This was one religious debate he was going to win even if it was the death of them both.

AN: Why was Taiki sleeping on the job? As Sasuke isn't a prisoner at this point per say, just a flight risk – and because two people really can't effectively keep watch in two different locations all night long and still be fresh in the morning and neither Konatsu nor Kaede is a match to any of the three – he just set some traps that would wake him up if Sasuke or Sai tried to leave the building. He counted on Tsubaki to be able to do the same for Kabuto, but…

No-one expects Kabuto! Just like the Spanish Inquisition. (And he's also the unsurpassed master of Really Uncomfortable Truths. Ouch, Kabuto. Just ouch.)