PLEASE NOTE – from the next chapter onwards this fic will be 'upgraded' to an M rating. Which means that future updates will only show up in the updated fics list on this site if you have selected the list to include M rated fics.
Two Princes
Chapter 11 – The Hunt
-------
Teyla
"Did you not sleep well, Teyla?" Meela asked.
Trying to suppress her yawning Teyla looked round to the older woman, hoping that her expression was as well controlled as she hoped. She smiled at the other baby sitter. Around them the camp's children were chattering away with each other inside the largest of the communal tents. Teyla sat on the floor inside the large partitioned off area, Torren and two other children sitting around her knees as they played with the toys, some not as tolerant as others about their own toys being enjoyed by others.
"I am sorry," Teyla replied with a smile. "After retiring late to bed after the celebration I then found it difficult to fall asleep." It was not a lie, for she had been late to bed, but then John had arrived in her tent to discuss what had happened earlier that evening. The conversation had then led to her sharing her first proper kiss with him. He had remained seated beside her bed for some time after that as they made each other laugh recounting stories from Atlantis. He had left her tent eventually, after they had shared another kiss, and she had been left to fall asleep amidst the silence of her tent. She had lain awake for a long time afterwards thinking about him, and reliving the thrilling moments of their discussion and of his kiss. Consequently this morning she was rather tired, but her heart was full.
Meela nodded, appearing not to have seen anything amiss in Teyla's explanation. "I imagine you had much to keep you awake after battling the Wraith as you all did yesterday."
Teyla smiled at Meela. "There was not really much 'battling'," Teyla corrected with a humorous smile. Near her knee Torren let out a grumpy complaint. Teyla rested one hand against her son's back to help calm him.
"I imagine caring for all of these today will only tire you further," Meela went on, making it clear with a look that she did not believe Teyla's interpretation about facing the Wraith as not being a battle, and so had turned the conversation onwards. Teyla smiled at the woman.
"I had to collect Torren early this morning anyway as Kanaan is going out as part of the hunting party today," Teyla explained. Another angry noise from Torren drew her attention down to him again.
"Torren, let Asthra play with the bricks as well," she instructed him gently. Torren grumbled again, pulling one of the bricks tight into his stomach away from Asthra's reach. Teyla reached down and gently took the brick from Torren's hands. "It is important to share, Torren. After all Asthra is sharing her toys with you."
She handed Asthra the brick, and then reached for another identical one to give to Torren. He took it, but then tossed it aside and watched Asthra with his former brick. Asthra was only slightly younger than him, and she was a beautiful little girl who did nothing but smile. Teyla watched as Asthra handed the brick back to Torren, who took it and then tried to give it back to her again. Teyla smiled with Meela over the baby politics playing out.
The older children were seated at a table across from Teyla, all bent over their drawings, and the youngest babies were all napping in their little cots. All appeared peaceful at present, but it was still very early. Teyla tried to hide another large yawn that threatened to break her jaw with its intensity. Meela chuckled at her.
"Perhaps I will get myself some red root tea to wake myself up," Teyla suggested as she rose to her feet. "I will be as quick as I can," she said to Meela.
"Take your time, Teyla," Meela replied. "All is well here."
Teyla walked across the play area and stepped over the small dividing pen wall into the main part of the tent. She looked back to Torren, to see that he was too busy trying to pass more bricks to Asthra to notice that Teyla had left. Smiling, Teyla headed out into the early morning light. It was a lovely day today and everyone was rushing to get as much work done in the fields and across the camp. Teyla moved out through the busy camp, pretending to herself that she wasn't looking for one particular person.
She had yet to see John this morning as she had been up very early out of her tent, but she had hoped to have seen him moving around the camp. She had no idea what work he was planned to do today, and secretly she hoped that he would sit in with her to babysit the children.
Following the path to her tent, she continued to not look for John.
"Teyla," his voice called from behind her and she turned with a smile already warming her face.
He was hurrying towards her, and she saw the small secret little smile on his face as she knew was on hers. "John," she greeted him as he approached.
She realised as he reached her side that he was dressed in his darkest clothes and had his sidearm and knife attached to his Atlantis belt. He was dressed for hunting.
"Zahm's not well, so I'm heading out to help in the hunting," he explained having seen her questioning look. She tried not to feel too disappointed that he would not be around today. The hunting parties could take all day which meant that he might not be back till very late tonight.
"What is wrong with Zahm?" She asked as they fell into step with each other as he accompanied her towards her tent.
"He had a little too much ruus wine last night," John explained with amusement. She smiled up at him, aware of the subtle new tension between them.
"What you doing today?" he asked as he walked slightly closer to her along the path.
"I am watching the children with Meela for the day," she replied.
"Get the whole day with Torren then," John said as they turned the curving path between the tents.
"Yes," she replied with a happy smile. "Though he seems a little testy this morning, I do not think he must have slept that well."
They reached her tent and she pushed aside the entrance flap and entered the dark empty space. John followed her in and she heard the flap fall back down as she moved across the tent towards her water kettle. "I need some tea myself to keep awake this morning," she explained as she reached down to check there was water in the kettle and then set about lighting the small fire beneath it.
"Late night?" He asked from behind her, his tone innocent.
She smiled over her shoulder towards him. He was looking down at her table on which was spread some new cloth on which she had been designing a pattern for some new summer clothes for Torren. He looked over his shoulder at her and they shared a smile.
She turned towards her selection of dried teas she kept stored on a nearby shelf. She selected the red root and pulled the lid off the clay storage pot and sniffed at the tea. The scent was enlivening even before the root was made into a tea. She took another breath which turned into a yawn. She turned and dropped several pieces of the root into a cup.
"Sorry if I kept you up last night," he said as he moved across the tent to stand near her.
She looked up at him to see the seriousness in his expression, but there was still amusement. "I did not mind," she replied with an honest smile of her own.
Memories of their kisses last night returned and she caught herself looking at his mouth as she recalled how it had felt against hers. The new tension between them wavered in the air. The attraction between them was free finally, but there was the natural restraint in her, which she expected he also felt, as they began to explore this new change to their relationship. She looked back up to his eyes and was relieved to see a similar set of emotions echoed there. John was a naturally cautious and restrained man when it came to personal matters, it was one more thing they shared, but in the matters of the heart they had even less knowledge of each other.
She lifted the pot of red root. "Would you like some?"
He smiled slightly then, his lips shifting at one end of his mouth as his eyes dropped to the clay pot in her hand and then down to the kettle beside them as if he had only just noticed them. "No, thanks. I've gotta head out in a minute."
She nodded. "Remember to look where you are walking," she reminded him.
He smiled widely at what was normally his line to her. But, now the reminder of her rescue brought forth different memories than before. Or rather their focus had changed. He had searched for her, unwilling to give up and surrender her to the elements. He had warmed her body with his own.
"So, ah, you spending the whole day with the kids?" He asked.
She set down the clay pot of tea with a smile. "Yes, and the tea should keep me awake," she said hopefully.
He glanced down at the steam drifting up from the kettle as the water inside gradually heated. "All those kids to look after for the day not stimulating enough for you?"
She looked at the root tea. "Perhaps you are right. Something soothing may be in order later. Are you sure you do not want to take some tea with you?" She asked.
"No, I'll be fine. Plenty to think about to keep me awake."
She met his eyes with a questioning look and saw the sparkling was back in his gaze. "Really?" She asked.
He nodded and reached for her, his hands landing on both sides of her waist and pulling her gently towards him. She saw the cautious look to his eyes, as if he wasn't entirely certain that she would want to embrace him. She was aware of a sense of her own relief, as well as the new excitement. She stepped towards him, and rose up slightly onto her toes to meet his approaching mouth.
Their lips pressed together gently with an air of a greeting, or perhaps to test once again that what had happened last night still existed this morning. Her body tingled instantly, her lips feeling full and sensitive against his. She rested herself against his chest slightly and his arms slid around her, two bars of warmth around her back.
"John? They're waiting for…" Lorne began as he leant into the tent, causing her and John to pull their lips apart and look round at him in surprise. Lorne pulled a face. "Oops, not again. Sorry," he offered.
Teyla couldn't help smiling at their friend and John shook his head beside her.
"It is alright, Evan," she offered their friend as she pulled back slightly from John, though his hands remained on her back and hers on his chest.
"Just, the hunting party's all ready and waiting," Lorne explained hurriedly, before he backed out of the entrance.
John turned to her. "I should get going," he said as he tilted his head towards to the exit. She nodded. "I'll try and drop in to see you and Torren tonight," he offered.
She rubbed her hands over his upper arms. "If you can, if not I will see you tomorrow."
"What you got planned for tomorrow?" He asked as they slid their hands from each other slowly.
"I am free in the morning," she told him.
"You feel like doing something?" She nodded at his invitation. "Where do Athosians go on dates?" He asked with curiosity.
"We could go for a walk. There is a nice grassland area about an hour's walk from the stream. We could take a picnic," she suggested.
"Sounds good; it's a date," he replied.
The sound of Lorne clearing his throat could be heard from outside and John rolled his eyes. "I'll see you tonight or tomorrow morning then," he offered as he leant in and kissed her lightly.
"I will look forward to it," she replied as he moved away from her, across her tent towards the exit. They shared another smile before he pushed aside the entrance flap and disappeared outside.
As the flap dropped back down behind him she heard Evan talking to him.
"I'm really sorry about doing that to you guys again," Evan said with worried amusement.
"Don't worry about it," she heard John reply as the two men began walking away from the tent. "But if you do it again I'm gonna have to kill you."
--------
John
John couldn't help but feel a little grumpy as he walked out of the living tents to join the hunting party. Upon seeing him they gathered up their hunting gear and together they all headed off towards the trees. As John followed along at the back of the group he saw ahead of him that Kanaan was part of the group, and that the man was looking back at him oddly. Great, not only was John now forced to spend the day in the depths of the silent forest with his own thoughts, but he had Kanaan around as well!
The tall green trees surrounded John and above him those golden little birds with their pretty voices sang out.
He had agreed to join the hunting party when they had asked him, but after having been in Teyla's tent this morning he really would have preferred spending today with her. Though originally one of the reasons why he had agreed to join the hunting party was to get away from the camp for the day. Last night he had had another one of those 'lost in the caves trying to find Teyla' dreams that had started after he had had the Sweet Grain treatment. He would have thought after last night's revelations about her feelings for him that the dream would go away, but instead it had been even more intense than ever.
She had fought against him in the dream again, trying to get out of the sleeping bag and into the cold that would kill her. He had tried to talk her into staying and then had tried holding her to him again to warm her. In the end she had shouted at him and he had let her crawl out from the warmth and into the tunnels and caves. He had tried to follow her and had ended up trailing her through the honeycombed mountain, never quite able to catch up with her. To make matters worse Nancy had then turned up, following after him, telling him how he had ruined their marriage and that he should leave Teyla alone to be Kanaan. He had rounded a bend in the tunnel and had found Teyla cuddled up with Kanaan in the sleeping bag.
As dreams went he felt it was a little obvious, but then the real uncomfortable nightmares usually were. He had woken feeling nervous and cautious about the new changes to his relationship with Teyla. They had a great friendship and he suspected he might just ruin a relationship with her and then he would have lost everything. What if it didn't work out? What if there was no real chemistry and what if they just weren't compatible 'that' way? It was a collection of all the usual dating worries, but intensified to the nth degree because it was Teyla, and he really didn't want to ruin what he had with her.
Usually he had dated women he had just met, or had known for only a short time. Usually he was pretty certain that they wanted him, and it had been all about the fun. Even his marriage to Nancy had been about having what he wanted at home and being able to head out on missions the rest of the time. She had been a loving woman and they had had great chemistry from day one. They had gotten engaged about five months after they had met and then married a few months later. It had been a whirlwind exciting time, which had turned far too quickly into something nasty, for both of them.
But, Teyla was different. It wasn't like he had just met her and could work his charm and pretend to be the best that he was with her. Women usually found out what you were really like months later, but Teyla knew him. Knew him really well and he knew her well. In fact he was rather stuck in a confusing place of really wanting her and the opportunity to date her, against the other part of him that knew he was not good enough for her. She could do far better than him. It was the friend fighting the lover. Okay that was the first time he had used that word in relation to Teyla!
He had eaten his breakfast this morning worrying that he shouldn't have gone to her tent last night, and that he shouldn't have kissed her. Because once they had properly kissed – then he had been hooked. Not only had she felt and tasted wonderful, but he had burned for her in that kiss. Holding her had felt so right and he had known that he was in trouble. Could they turn back now? Maybe the chemistry last night had been because it had been their first 'real' kiss? Maybe it had been the candlelight and the fact that they had talked so candidly with each other. For some reason he had really talked to her last night – to save their friendship and to understand why she had kissed him. What chance did he have in that kind of situation? It had been as romantic as hell in her candlelit tent! All the reasons why they should try it together had made so much sense, and there had been no doubts. Then he had gone back to his tent alone, fallen asleep and dreamt of all that could go wrong. That he would frighten her off, that he wouldn't be enough for her, that she would go back to Kanaan despite what she had told him. That he would ruin them as he had ruined his marriage.
So he had agreed to the hunting party for a little distance, but he hadn't wanted to leave without seeing her, maybe get a feel for how she was feeling about him this morning. He had caught up with her near her tent and she had been dressed in one of her tailored tops over loose flowing skirts. She had turned towards him and smiled widely up at him and all the good reasons had come flooding back. His attraction to her had slammed back into place, now for the first time really given free rein. He had smiled at her smile, and the beautiful shape of her face, her wide smiling lips that had felt so good against his.
He had walked with her back to her tent and then inside he had wandered around her tent as she talked to him. Then she had mentioned last night and he had been drawn back in towards her. He was a little unsure about how to turn such a good friendship like he had with her into a relationship, but pulling her towards him for a kiss had been a good start. She had moved into his arms without hesitation and she had leant into his kiss. The sensation of her lips against his, her breasts pressed to his chest and the scent of her around him had made him decide to ignore his concerns. Then Lorne had arrived with the reminder that he had agreed to spend the entire day away from the camp. Stupid John. He could have spent the day enjoying her company and focusing away from his nightmare and his worries.
Now here he was waist deep in shrubbery, deep in the forest far from the camp. The rest of the hunting party were stretched out through the forest forming a long line through the trees, to enable them to watch the widest area of forest for any game. John adjusted his crouched position leant against a tree stump. He had been out here four hours by his watch.
John glanced to his left and could just about make out the shoulder of Tolim where he was concealed amongst some ferns in the distance. They were far enough away from each other to cover a wide space, but close enough to hear a call or see a hand signal. John turned and looked to his right. Lorne was out there, but John had to sit and study the vegetation in the far distance to pick out exactly where the Major was sitting. Lorne was good at melding in, but seemed particularly good today. Then through several waving stalks of a thick plant John saw a brown covered shoulder sat perfectly still. John sent a check-in hand gesture and a hand responded with a confirmation. Okay, Lorne was getting real good at being an Athosian hunter, which reminded John that he was out here for a reason.
He returned his attention back out to the large space of forest that was his to watch. The deer like game on this world tended to wander around in small groups. They were a strange green colour that melded a little too well into the forest backdrop, which was why this sit and wait form of hunting worked so well to catch them. It had been freaky though the first time he had seen one of the green creatures, because mammals should not be green in his opinion, he wasn't really sure why, but it was freaky.
Okay he needed to get his head in gear. The group needed a minimum amount of game for the camp and if they got it all quickly enough then they would head back to the camp early. So John decided to really concentrate because then maybe he could get back to Teyla this evening, and besides at least the hunting distracted him away from relationship issues.
He focused into the distance and let his gaze soften. Small movements of plants and tree branches drew his attention instantly in that state, but once he identified the source of the movement he went back to softened gazing. He would pick up anything out of place that way, after all humans had been hunters for a long time. One branch, in the far distance ahead of John, moved a little more than it had been before and he was instantly focused on it. A shadow shifted behind it and John held his breath, his entire body frozen and he watched the deer like thing step cautiously out from under the tree branch.
The creature stopped and sniffed the air before it moved forward. It was a good distance ahead of him and John would need to get a little closer to get it, so he kept his eyes on the deer and lowered himself further into the vegetation. The deer stood for a long time considering the area and then dropped its head and began grazing on a large fern. John lifted his hand and made a few gestures in Lorne's direction and then began crawling slowly through the ferns and shrubs. He kept his gaze on the deer, pausing every now and then to let some ferns stop swaying or when the deer looked round towards him. He was intently focused and he had no idea how much time passed as he stalked the creature as it wandered further away through the trees. It was a while before John became aware that he had moved considerably further forward than the former line. He looked back, trying to see if he could pick out either Tolim or Lorne, but they were far too back now to pick out of the vegetation and they would be unlikely to see any hand gesture anyway.
It didn't matter, he wouldn't need help against a deer, but he had the strange sensation that something wasn't quite right around him. He looked back, narrowing his eyes as he tried to identify what was wrong. He saw nothing out of place, so he returned his attention to the deer, which had begun to move to the right, moving into the area Lorne was watching. That would be helpful as the two of them could converge on the deer. John crept on, moving quicker when the deer leapt over some shrubs which masked the sound of his movement.
The deer paused, still and far too alert in a small clearing, its head turned towards John. John held still and watched the deer shy slightly as it reacted to something. John held his breath, not wanting to move in the least, then he heard movement behind him and saw the deer react. He turned where he was crouched and a shape stepped out from behind a tree. John stood up abruptly and moved out of the patch of light he had been in and the shadow took form as he turned towards it. Behind John he heard the deer leaping away through the forest as fast as its legs could carry it.
"I wish to speak with you, Sheppard," Kanaan announced angrily as he stood in a small open patch of forest, hunting spear in one hand.
John stood completely upright, his heart hammering still from the adrenaline hit. He glanced down at the spear in the guy's hand, and dropped his own hands lower towards his hips, close to his sidearm if he needed it. "Sure, what can I help you with?" He asked as casually as he could, despite the rather worrying development.
"I know about you and Teyla," Kanaan stated plainly.
John pretended to look confused. "What about us?"
"That you have worked your way into her bed already. I wonder how long it took you once you got me out of her tent." Okay the guy sounded pretty angry, and this was more than a little weird, and worrying, that Kanaan had decided to confront John out here.
"Hey, hang on," John protested though. "Your relationship with Teyla is over," he argued.
"Which I am sure you are very happy about. I wonder what you whispered into her ear to help her make that decision."
John took a breath and worked to contain his own sense of growing anger. "I never said a word to her about you before you broke up. She is fully capable of making her own choices," John pointed out, his right hand still hovering near his sidearm.
"And you took clear advantage of that," Kanaan replied.
"I didn't say anything to her about you, Kanaan," John repeated, trying to keep his voice calm, to defuse the growing aggression.
"I do not believe you," Kanaan replied with conviction.
John battled against his own growing sense of annoyance; at being stalked up on and accused by Kanaan.
"Look if you feel bad about how things ended between you and Teyla, that's your business, but don't go taking it out on me. I had nothing to do with it." He knew he really shouldn't get pulled into this, but his patience was feeling the strain.
Kanaan let out an aggressive breath that made it quite clear that he didn't agree. "Do you think I did not see how you look at her?" Kanaan stated.
"She's a beautiful woman. An intelligent, independent woman who decided she didn't want you anymore, Kanaan. I'm sorry about that, it's never easy, but you deal with it and move on," John tried to reason with him. John knew what it was like to be in Kanaan's position – okay maybe he didn't, as he didn't have a kid with a woman who had decided she didn't want him anymore. Now, John was thinking about it, he could see where some of Kanaan's anger was coming from, but that didn't make this right. And it certainly wouldn't stop John from defending himself. He was still a little stunned that Kanaan had showed up like this. It was a rather unstable thing to do in John's opinion, which only made the situation more potentially unpredictable.
Kanaan moved slightly closer and for the first time John noticed how wide the guy's shoulders were - he probably had some pretty impressive upper body strength. "You took full advantage though, did not you, Sheppard?"
John met Kanaan's gaze and decided that the man was angry, but there wasn't that mad glint there that suggested that Kanaan would be really dangerous. John was pretty sure Kanaan wasn't really out to hurt him. The man was angry and looking for a fight, probably had been stewing for one since the argument they had had back just before Teyla had broken up with him. John decided that walking away would be the best bet.
"You can think what you want," John told him and began to walk through the shrubs back towards the hunting line, passing Kanaan as he went. He hoped he hadn't misread Kanaan, and just in case he kept his hand near his leg holster.
"Did you wait a full day after she was in her own tent till you moved in on her?" Kanaan demanded as he began to follow John.
John kicked his way through a patch of ferns with more aggression than was necessary. "Don't pretend this is about me. This is about you feeling guilty about not saving her life," he pointed out over his shoulder.
"And you will not let us forget that, will you?" Kanaan argued. "No, instead you use it to your own ends."
John whirled round on Kanaan, anger of his own flaring. "You're the one who gave up on her. You left her out there in the cold alone!"
"I did all I could. I thought there was nothing to do. It was an exceptional situation that she had fallen into that unknown cave and that it was covered once again by the snow. You found her more from luck and than thing else!"
"I found her because I didn't stop looking, Kanaan. "Which is what you should have done and if you feel ashamed or guilty or whatever about that, then I think you should be."
Kanaan pushed forward, hovering on the edge of John's personal space. "There, that is what you think is it not? That no one is good enough for her as you are!"
"I never said that. I said that you aren't good enough for her!" John exclaimed before he could stop himself.
"Who are you to judge me?" Kanaan demanded.
John was aware that things were getting clearly out of hand, but a deep fury was building inside him. It had a lot of old pain and resentment in it, as well as the latest in insults of Kanaan leaving Teyla to die in the cold.
"You are not of her people, or even of this galaxy, and you can never understand her. You came here and blinded her with your advanced technology and charm. You will use her as you used this galaxy and Atlantis, until you grow bored and move on."
"You don't know anything about me, Kanaan! Don't pretend that you understand how I feel about Teyla. I've been through more with her beside me than you can ever know."
"Because I do not go off to kill Wraith? Does that make me less than you?"
"I never said that," John responded. He turned away again, walking away from the fight, but Kanaan kept following him. John was beginning to wonder where the other hunters were, because surely he and Kanaan were making enough noise to attract some attention.
"You were happy to leave her behind when you had your home world to go to," Kanaan said from behind.
"She was with you then and I for one respect her decisions," John replied over his shoulder. Where the hell was Lorne?
"I told Major Lorne that he was needed further up the line," Kanaan told him, having worked out what John was looking for. John turned the other way to look in Tolim's direction, but he was a little turned around now and wasn't sure if he was close enough to Tolim's area.
"Now that you are trapped here with us in this galaxy, you are suddenly interested in her and I was in the way."
John turned back round to face him. "Get over it," spat at Kanaan and turned away again, trying to orientate himself to where the line had been.
Kanaan's hand landed on John's shoulder forcing him back round to face him. John batted away the man's arm as he spun back towards him.
"Is this what you want, Kanaan? You want to do the caveman thing and fight over her? Do you really think she'll change her mind and take you back because you sock me on the jaw?"
"This is not about Teyla anymore."
John could see the pain-filled anger in Kanaan's eyes. John actually felt a rush of understanding for the guy. John had been in a few situations where he had gone looking for a fight to make himself feel better. Maybe it was to boost the ego, maybe it was some male hormone thing, or maybe it was simply self destructive.
"You ruined everything," Kanaan spat at him, the spear had disappeared from his hand somewhere back in the shrubbery and John saw the balled up fist in its place.
"You want to hit me, Kanaan? Go on then!"
The fist flew towards John with a serious amount of speed behind it and John didn't quite get out the way in time, having been honestly shocked that Kanaan had taken up his offer. Kanaan's outer knuckle clipped John's jaw, but John was already striking up at Kanaan's middle. The man grunted and stepped back, but swung back in towards John. John danced away, though Kanaan moved quickly forward and lashed out again. Okay, so Kanaan had some fighting training after all.
John ducked and tackled Kanaan around the middle, shoving him down to the ground. Kanaan got a good grab of John's jacket on the way down and pulled John down with him. Grunting as he landed half on Kanaan, John lifted one elbow up in time to block Kanaan's hit to his head before he rolled away. Scrambling through shrubs that wanted to stick to his jacket and hands, John got upright again and saw Kanaan heading in to tackle him this time. John tried to side step the move and got a good kidney punch in before Kanaan pushed him down with his full body weight.
John was moving even before his back hit the ground, swinging himself round ready for when Kanaan fell forward, and he got a quick lock around one of Kanaan's arms. He pulled back, tightening the lock hold.
"You had enough yet?" John asked as he panted.
However, Kanaan knew that John wasn't about to break his arm and so ignored the lock, despite the pain it had to be giving him, and punched out at the side of John's head. The hit was good, and John's cheekbone took most of the impact. A sharp burst of pain spread down across one side of John's face and he released the lock to get some space between them. Getting up quickly he touched fingertips to his cheek and they came away bloodied.
"Great," John muttered.
Kanaan had gotten to his feet and swung at John again.
"Oh, come on," John complained as he weaved away from the punch. "You've got your cheap shot in."
Kanaan followed his punch with an elbow strike that John only just spotted in time, blocking it with his forearm. Kanaan tried to punch with the other fist, but John got a good grip on the guy's wrist. They stood locked for a few moments, John holding back both Kanaan's fist and elbow, grunting a little with the effort. God, Kanaan was stronger than he looked. John dug his military issue boot heels into the ground, bent his knees some more and held his ground.
"I hate you," Kanaan spat at him between their locked arms.
"If, I were a…shrink…"John got out around his straining body and clenched jaw. "I would say that…you hate…yourself more." Enough was enough and John broke the stalemate, by thrusting his forehead down at Kanaan's face. The impact broke Kanaan's hold, and possibly a bit of his nose.
The Athosian staggered back, blood pouring from his nostrils. Well away from John he leant forward and spat out a good mouthful of blood.
John coughed himself, his back and chest aching from the very intense work out he had just had at holding Kanaan at bay. "You okay?" He asked as he leant forward resting his hands on his thighs for a moment, and tried not to feel slightly guilty.
Kanaan kept his head down as he touched his nose tentatively with a shaky hand. He hissed out a breath and nodded his head, his face still directed down towards the shrubs. Silence stretched out through the trees as John watched the man cautiously as he spat out some more blood. "I should have kept looking for her," Kanaan muttered.
John stayed quiet for a moment, sensing that the fight was finally out of Kanaan. "We've all done things we regret," John told him quietly. "Things we aren't proud of."
Kanaan looked up, his nose was bloody, but from here it didn't look too broken. "Not, Colonel Sheppard: The Hero," he muttered sarcastically.
John saw the pain behind the sarcasm. "We all make mistakes, and sometimes…mistakes can cost lives." A very old pain slid into play for John, making itself at home in that part of him that knew every name of the people he'd lost over the years. Especially those lost in Afghanistan. "The important thing is to learn from them and never make them again."
Kanaan held his gaze for several long beats and then the Athosian blinked and looked down again as he held his fingers back to his nose. "If I could live that time again..."
John pulled out the last pocket pack of Earth tissues from a pocket in his jacket and moved towards Kanaan. He pulled one out and offered it to the man. "I know how you feel." Kanaan took the tissue and held it to his nose, muttering a bitter thank you. Bright red blood stained the white square.
John pulled a tissue out for himself and held it against his cheek. Silence lingered between them again as both blotted their wounds.
"If it had not been Teyla who had been lost – would you still have kept looking?" Kanaan asked quietly.
"Yes," John replied. "But, being honest…" he added and Kanaan glanced up at him. "I would have stopped looking for anyone else eventually." He looked down at the greenery around them as the truth was admitted. "But I would never have stopped looking for her." He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to admit to Kanaan, Teyla's ex, but it was the truth. He looked back at Kanaan feeling odd at revealing the secret and to him of all people.
Kanaan nodded though, as if it had been what he had wanted to hear. Maybe it would help Kanaan to feel better to think that John had been motivated mostly by his affection for Teyla. A thought occurred to him.
"Teyla isn't going to be too impressed with us for this," John said as he blotted his cheek again and rolled his jaw to ease some of the ache.
Kanaan grunted in amusement. "No, she will not." He stood more upright now, the bleeding having stopped from his nose, as long as he held it closed for a while. "But now you are the one whom she will take it out on," he said nasally.
John pulled a worried face, as from the trees some distance away John heard people moving. "John?" Lorne's concerned voice shouted loudest over the others.
"We're over here," John called out in response. John felt his cheek again and looked at Kanaan's wounded face – they weren't going to be able to keep this just between them.
Teyla was going to be pissed.
--------
Kanaan
The deep ache in his chest was lingering on and it had nothing to do with any injuries, unless it was possible to injury one's spirit. Tolim had dressed his and Sheppard's injuries before they had set out to return to the camp. Since the hunting parties frequently worked far from the camp there was always one backpack filled with what Sheppard called First Aid. A lot of the contents of the pack were Earth design now, since the Athosians had been given so much first aid supplies by Atlantis over the years. The camp physician had even studied with the doctors in Atlantis for long periods of time. The dressing over Kanaan's nose was also of Earth design and he was thankful for that, for the sticky tape held it to his face without a bandage. Sheppard had fared with only two vague bruises on his face which did not look like they were going to get any worse. And the one small cut on his cheekbone had already been cleaned up and held closed with Earth sutures. It would be pretty clear to everyone who had won their fight. Who had won everything.
Kanaan shook his head at himself, but it only made his nose hurt more so he held his head still as he walked back with the others towards the camp. He had approached Sheppard on the hunt out of anger. Bitter and twisted by his own loss and guilt at his past decision. He had wanted Sheppard to know how he was to blame for most of it, and Kanaan had wanted an apology for the way Sheppard had moved in on Teyla so quickly. Instead, Kanaan was walking out of the forest feeling worse about him self and annoyingly more respectful of Sheppard. The man had still taken Kanaan's place in Teyla's tent, but Kanaan could not blame the man anymore for his own regrets and issues with Teyla.
He glanced to his right to where Sheppard was walking along. The Earthman looked deeply thoughtful as well, or maybe he was worried about facing Teyla back in the camp. Kanaan felt a little dark amusement at that. But, the smile made his face and nose hurt, so he stopped that as well.
The rest of the hunting party hadn't really said anything about the clear and obvious fact that he and Sheppard had fought. They had made a few comments about Kanaan's good left hook punch and the thickness of Sheppard's forehead as they all stood around and helped with the cleanup. No one had glared at him with the slight exception of Major Lorne who did not look very impressed with him. But, then the Major and Sheppard were good friends, and Kanaan had deceived Lorne in order to speak to Sheppard alone. When Kanaan had discovered that Sheppard would be joining the hunt, he had seen the opportunity to finally confront the man, away from the others. Kanaan knew that had there been anyone else around, that they would have interrupted and he had not wanted that. But, now he felt bad for having deceived Lorne.
The trees were thinning around them, and soon the camp would come into view. The group walked mostly silently, a couple of people would chat about something idly for a while and then silence would return.
Kanaan could hear the stream as they headed down the hillside and soon enough the stream came into view and he saw two of his people there washing their clothes. They looked round clearly surprised to see the hunting group back so soon. They had decided to return to the camp early, as the rest of the group had caught a reasonable amount of game, which was why it had taken them so long to realise that Kanaan had tricked Lorne and that he and Sheppard had disappeared from the line. Also Kanaan needed his nose checked by a physician.
The washers stood and waved, and Kanaan saw the first of many frowns to come cross their faces. He felt their eyes on his nose. He smiled thinly at them and kept on walking. If he had issues with guilt and embarrassment they were now added to as more people saw them on the last stretch to the camp. Someone ahead had called out one of the doctors from the camp and she was walking out from the camp to meet them. Kanaan could only meet her eyes for a moment and he saw that she was trying not to smile. He looked down and away.
"I see it was an eventful hunting trip," she said.
Kanaan nodded and several amused yet supportive hands dropped onto his shoulders as the rest of the hunting party moved away to enter the camp.
The doctor looked from Kanaan to Sheppard, who smiled in return with what appeared to be no embarrassment whatsoever.
"I'm good," Sheppard told her, but Kanaan could not help but feel it as a slight. He looked at Sheppard, who shrugged at him in return, but there was the new strange sense of fellowship Kanaan felt with the man. He knew without asking that Sheppard would not be sharing what had been said between them with anyone else, except perhaps Teyla. Kanaan felt annoyed that he was calming in regards to Sheppard, after all the man was his replacement, yet at the same time that was not really Sheppard's fault he guessed.
Sheppard had revealed enough about his character during the fight for Kanaan to feel that he had misjudged the Earthman somewhat. Sheppard had also implied that his affections for Teyla went deeper than simply to enjoy her bed, and though Kanaan did not wish to think about that, it also strangely made him feel a little better about it all. That and the wrath of Teyla, Sheppard would now have to face – Kanaan would have smiled, but it would only have hurt his nose.
--------
TBC