A/N; As always, thanks for the reviews...keep them coming *pouts n sends smacking kiss to reviewers*
let the angst begin lol...
Chapter 11 –
It was late in the afternoon. All of them had had their dinner and were now busying themselves with various different tasks. Dean and Bobby were in the salvage yard, allegedly working on some car. Sam was in Bobby's living room with Lara. Lara was pretending to watch television as she heard Sam take out his frustrations on the keyboard of his laptop.
Lara had noticed Dean's indifference towards Sam and Sam's hurt expression when her brothers had gotten back from their shopping trip. But she hadn't said anything, hoping everything would be back to normal soon. However, they hadn't acted any different all day and she was beginning to think that maybe she did need to talk to them about it.
She hated seeing her brothers like this...so withdrawn from each other. It had been their love for each other which had made her want to be loved in the first place. So, she felt wrong to watch them so cold towards each other. She couldn't dare ask Dean to talk about such touchy subjects, for the fear that he might take offense and decide it was better to give her up to the authorities but she decided she could ask Sam. He would tell her what was wrong and not throw her into foster care for asking, she was sure.
'Sam, are you okay?' She asked him seriously, switching the tele off. She walked over to where he was sat and took the seat beside him.
'Yeah, I'm fine.' He answered, rather breathlessly. He didn't meet her eyes, and continued to work on his laptop.
'You don't look fine to me.' She hesitated a moment before placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it. She gave him a warm smile. 'You and Dean will be back to normal before you know it. You have nothing to worry about. Just give it time.'
He nodded soundlessly, tears shimmering in his eyes. He looked at her then and she saw tears fall out of his eyes.
'Hey, what's wrong? Sam, you can talk to me.' She said to him softly.
'Dean hates me…' He managed to croak out. She moved over to him and sat in his lap, putting her arms around him in a tight hug. She didn't let go of him. A few minutes later, she felt him shaking in her arms as he started to sob.
'No, Sam…don't say that. He does love you. That's why he worries for you.' She didn't know much about love because she had never had any but she was sure that was the right thing to say.
'I am just trying to help. He doesn't understand. He says he doesn't care anymore…that I don't need him anymore. How can he say that? How can I not need him? He's always been there for me…I've always needed him…' Renewed sobs escaped him.
'Sam, I really wish I could make it better between you two but I don't really know everything that's happened. I wish you two wouldn't fight. I don't like it. Sam, you need to understand that Dean loves you otherwise he wouldn't have gone to hell for you. He just wants what's best for you. Why don't you just listen to him…it would be for the best. And I don't want you to think I am taking sides here because I'm not. You are both equal to me…I just don't want you to be like this with each other…I don't like seeing you hurt.' She gave him a timid smile and kissed him on the cheek as she wiped his tears away. 'You don't know how lucky you guys are…not everyone has someone who loves them so much. Some people don't have anyone who loves them in the whole world.' She tried to smile and hide the sadness she felt.
Sam gasped when he realised the meaning of what she was saying. 'Lara, you don't mean yourself, do you?' He looked at her closely for any signs of her true feelings.
She couldn't answer him. She felt the lump in her throat. She knew if she spoke her voice would betray her so she simply shook her head, praying to god that she looked convincing. She hastily got out of his lap and straightened up. Clearing her throat, she said, 'I'm gonna check on the others.' She quickly left the room before Sam could see her tears which were threatening to spill out of her eyes.
When Lara was out of the room, Sam thought back to their conversation. He smiled tearfully, remembering how she had jumped into his lap to comfort him. She was right about everything. He was being stupid, hurting his siblings. He could tell that Lara was affected by Dean and his fighting. He didn't want her to be worried and sad because of him. He decided then and there that he was never going to meet Ruby again and he was going to tell Dean and Bobby about his demon-blood addiction so they could help him detox. With renewed purpose he went to find the two men at the salvage yard.
He saw Dean and Bobby talking near a car wreck. He walked over to them. 'Hey, where's Lara?' He looked around to catch a glimpse of her but she was nowhere to be seen.
'I thought she was with you.' Dean replied. 'Is she not in the house?' He asked, panic evident in his voice.
'I didn't check. She said she was coming out here. I came out to tell you guys that I am ready to talk about everything and I need help.' Sam answered.
'Well, we can do that after I find Lara.' Dean responded and then ran to the house.
'It's obvious that boy loves his little sister.' Bobby said, taking off his cap to scratch his head.
'Yeah, he does.' Sam agreed. 'I think I'll go see if he's found her.' He left Bobby and made his way back to the house.
Lara had locked herself in the bathroom after her conversation with Sam. She wanted to be alone. Seeing her brother cry like that for Dean's love and attention had brought back unpleasant memories of her own childhood.
*Flashback*
(Lara; 4 yrs old)
Wal-Mart was full of kids with their mothers, this Saturday. They all were throwing things in their trolleys and shouting at their mothers, if they didn't listen to the little brats. All, except one child. She was a beautiful brown-haired, brown-eyed adorable child who hardly spoke as she trudged behind her mother.
Her ears perked up in one of the aisles when she heard a kid say that his mom got him whatever he wanted because she loved him. She didn't understand what love meant so she asked her own mom, curiously.
'Mommy, what's love?' The little girl's mother looked at her, huffing annoyingly.
'Nothing, you need to know about.' She answered, throwing cheese in the trolley.
'You never say you love me mommy.' The little girl stated.
'That's because I don't love you.' Her mom smiled to herself.
The girl didn't know why but all of a sudden she felt like crying. She didn't ask anymore questions that day.
*Flashback end*
Dean had checked everywhere, not finding her, he was in a panic. Then he remembered he hadn't checked their bathroom. He walked over to the door and found it locked. What the hell? 'Lara, you in there? Open the door, this instant.' There was no response. 'I'm gonna count to three and then I'm gonna break in.' He heard a click and a moment later, his sister emerged.
'I was just using the bathroom…just wanted to splash some cold water on my face, that's all.' She didn't meet his eyes but she could feel his intense gaze.
Dean saw her puffy eyes and knew she had been crying. He didn't know the reason yet but that didn't stop him from wanting to comfort her. He pulled her in his arms. At first, she remained limp and didn't return his hug but when he tightened his hold and started to soothingly stroke her head and back, she put her arms around him and started to cry.
'Lara, why are you crying?' He held her chin so she had to look at him.
She shook her head. She wasn't going to tell him.
'Please, Lara. Tell me.' He insisted.
She didn't want to tell him but she had never disobeyed anyone in her life. And she didn't know if he would be mean to her if she didn't listen to him, the way her mom used to be. Dean was a grown-up just like her mom. 'I was talking to Sam about something and it reminded me of when I was a kid.' It was the truth, he couldn't be mad at her now. She didn't have to tell him the details.
Dean nodded and wrapped her in his arms again. He saw Sam come in the room looking concerned. He gave him a look that said, we-need-to-talk. 'Lara, you look tired. Lay down for a while. Me and Sam will be down if you need us. Okay?'
She nodded and sat down on Dean's bed which was now her bed too. She got in bed after taking her shoes off. Dean tucked her in and then planted a kiss on her head before leaving behind Sam.
In the kitchen, Sam asked Dean, 'What was all that about?'
'You tell me.' Dean rubbed his aching head. 'I found her locked up in the bathroom crying. She wouldn't open up until I threatened to break in. Then she wouldn't tell me why she was crying. When I wouldn't let it go, she said she was talking to you about something that reminded her about when she was a kid. So, I'm asking you Sammy, what was so damn sad for the kid?'
'She asked me about our fighting. She said she hated it. She kept telling me how you love me and want the best for me. Wait, she said something that…no, but it can't be that.' Sam said, thoughtfully.
'What did she say?' Dean was angry with Sam's lack of understanding of how vulnerable Lara really was.
'She said how we were lucky to have someone who loved us because some people had no one in the whole world who loved them.' Sam tried to quote her.
'Shit.' Dean was pacing frantically.
'I asked her if she was talking about herself because it sounded like that but she shook her head. I assumed she was talking in general. Do you think it was that?' Sam was now astounded to realise what she had really meant.
'You're such a stupid bitch, sometimes. Of course, she was talking about herself. Who else would she be talking about?' Dean headed upstairs, after throwing a 'Stay here, I'm gonna talk to her' over his shoulder.