Four Months Before the Golden Rooster
Part Four: Card Games
AN: Hey guys, I'm back. I'll make this quick since this chapter is so long. Sorry for the delay, I know I said this'd be up last week, but the length of it killed that plan. To Thimble: Sorry, Snow would have been a really good guess, I even thought of it myself, but I think I'm going to stick to the cards in the manga, so they won't be creating Snow today :). I might consider doing a few cards from the anime if anyone really wants them, though; let me know. Enjoy!
Chapter 4, the Medic and the Magicians
A cool breeze swept over Godstone village, a tiny speck on the eastern edge of Surrey. To be assured, it was nothing quite so devastating as the storm raging still that very moment over Lightwater, but the creeping cold was still enough to bring a shiver down the spine of its newest stranger—just popped in for the holidays.
The fellow in question, a young slender man of about medium height, stood on a small sloping hilltop, gazing down towards the frozen tributary beneath him, and seeming rather meditative. He was leaning against one of the small trees which edged the ravine over the river below, and had bundled himself up accordingly to the slight chill. The majority of his form had vanished beneath a large mud-brown overcoat, which streaked down his body until it nearly reached his ankles. Around his neck, a wooly scarlet-colored scarf was wound loosely about so that the lower half of his face was also nearly buried beneath it. Upon his head, a matching blue and red knitted cap completed the ensemble, as it pressed his golden blond curls tightly against their owner's ears. Despite all this, however, as he stood and glanced pensively over his shoulder to the icy view beyond, Dr. Benjamin Hawkins still felt positively frozen to his very core.
Though he liked not to think of it at the moment, the doctor supposed deep down that the frigidity he felt had little to do with the surrounding atmosphere. In fact, the doctor liked to think of little right now, spare what little distraction he could gain from the bleak and hibernating forest around him. Although he had originally fled to his aunt and uncle's house here for relief, that was scarcely anything the wired physician had been able to find since he'd arrived. Indeed, the cheery voices and bright colors of his relatives and special guests, the smell of maturing mead from his uncle's cellar (and, most particularly, the numerous occasions when these both combined) had, rather than jolly distraction, brought Hawkins little more than a dizzying experience. More than once he had had to excuse himself from these gatherings, hiding in the darkest and quietest corner of the house he could find just to keep his head from spinning with all the noises and sound… Indeed he was starting to feel quite like a drunkard who hadn't known when to go home!
Yet Hawkins did not sigh to the wind as he avoided these thoughts. In fact he didn't do much—think much at all anymore. Not since that night…
Unwillingly, the view beyond swam before the doctor's eyes. Like an old pro, the man in question didn't move a single muscle—not even so much as a twitch in surprise as the frozen Godstone wood around him became instead the dark forests about Reed manor. Now the doctor did sigh. This was happening quite a lot now, and he dearly wished it would just take a rest. But the trees around stubbornly retained their sudden appearance of foliage, and the sky above its new hue of inky black. Hawkins of course knew the scene well. Though the woods of Lightwater truly looked the same on many occasions, there was no doubt in his mind that if he chose to explore the new scene playing out before his eyes, he would recognize it was the early morning, the first day of July.
Closing his eyes tightly, as if afraid to look at the unfolding view before him, Hawkins sank hopelessly to his knees. The night of the blue moon had been haunting him quite nearly since he had run from Clow—from Lightwater. It was like a nightmare that simply wouldn't end. As if it were having far too much fun ripping and ripping at his psyche, and had no intention of letting his tortured mind go until he lay dead and bleeding on the floor.
"God help me," he muttered tearfully to himself, as he rocked gently back and forth on his knees. "Help me." And yet no miracle descended from the heavens to come to his pitiful rescue. Or perhaps, not what the man at the time would call 'a miracle'. Somewhere in the dark and indistinct realms of his mind, the inevitable recurring rush of that night began to play—not so much like the moving pictures which would one day be associated with video, but rather as if they were a heated and fascinating discussion going on just behind the doctor's back: one that could not quite be ignored. Even without opening his tightly shut eyes, he could almost see again the dark and intimidating face of the ivy strewn manor house, its crevices and edifices gleaming oddly blue in the moonlight, its cracked carving which he'd not had time to read… All these appeared as phantoms within the darkness of his psyche—both there and not in an almost dizzying way. Even to himself, Hawkins found he could not describe the sensation any better than he could resist it, and was helpless but to let the ghostly images and sounds, feelings and experiences overtake him.
Around and around his head, the dark passages of the manor danced eerily, the shadows from the high windows casting dark shadows upon the surround just as they had months ago. The doctor could almost feel himself tearing down their long, crypt-like abyss, running as fast as his legs would carry him. At least then it felt like he was running, like he was fighting against his own inevitable insanity. But even so, the doctor fought only half-heartedly as the core of the manor drew him nearer. After all, Benjamin Hawkins knew full well what would await him at the end of his run. He knew precisely what it was that lay deep within the heart of the winding maze of dark stone. It was almost as though the entire manor were a many tentacle monster, with its many vast arms trailing away across it, hiding its soft and vulnerable deep within the protective web. And now, Hawkins felt, it had grabbed hold of him, and wound him down deeper and deeper to the heart of the monster, fighting him only as much as he struggled back, like a great constrictor. And so Hawkins let his tired mind relax. It was just another trip to the past. Just another…
Almost in compliance, the immense creature of his tormented memories dragged the doctor almost lazily onward into his visions, into the phantom manor around him.
Even though he could feel his perceived body running along the endless hallways, Hawkins felt as if the journey were moving in a kind of drunken slow motion. It were as though he was in every way aware of his terrified—his younger body it seemed—and yet somehow apart from it, floating like a serene onlooker from behind his own eyes. After an eternity, the ghostly manor at last plunged him deep into its most precious core—the place where the real monster, the real terror which tormented the doctor, still lived,
Just as real and unchanged as he had been that night.
'Not again,' he thought feebly to himself, 'Please?'
But there would be no release from his insanity as the warped memories around him began to morph themselves into a blurry view of Reed Manor's far north-east wing. Feeling more detached from his own body than ever before, Hawkins heard another voice waver across the expanse as it swam before his eyes. Even as he recognized it, the doctor modern day could scarcely believe it his own, shaking its way across the nightmare-ish air as if it had rushed here from a thousand miles away. 'Please—please don't make me!' The words uttered from their invisible master as if they'd been borne from a weak and frightened child. 'it would tear me apart, Clow!'
Deep within his own mind, Doctor Benjamin Hawkins shuddered in disgust as the voice shrilled in its terror. Deep inside him, his stomach churned as he thought bitterly as it continued to wail across the night.
"And if you let him die?"
The doctor nearly leapt out of his skin as the words shot across him, not from within his mind like the others, but from the world—the real world—around, and Hawkins screamed with apparent pain as his trance was shattered. Still quivering, and unconsciously groping at his skull (which felt as if it had been split in two), the broken and stunned young man turned to face the voice, and the man, who now stood before him in the snow.
For a moment, the figure of Clow Reed seemed unreal, almost as if he too were a twisted part of the vicious streams of recollections he had just interrupted. Like a rather large angel of death, he was dressed from head to toe quite nearly in all black, a long cloak-like coat drifting over his shoulders, and cascading down his form until it reached his feet. Beneath, his black trousers ominously seemed almost untouched by the snow which fell lightly around them, and his long inky hair, the doctor noticed, appeared likewise dry—as if the while snowflakes found his appearance as foreboding as the young physician and had accordingly decided to fall elsewhere. The only other color in fact that Hawkins could perceive about the man was the tips of a scarlet-maroon jacket visible beneath his cloak and, almost more horribly, a crimson scarf tied about his neck which against the whole ensemble reminded Hawkins almost nauseatingly of blood.
Still unsure of whether his companion was real, (and shivering so violently from cold and fear that he feared his legs would not hold him,) Hawkins glanced up to him from his position on the ground. He attempted to reply, to say something—anything—to convey his shock and surprise. How could he have known? How could he have known exactly the scene that had been playing out before the doctor, the nightmare that had been running through his mind? Try though he might, however, his trembling lips seemed unable to form the words.
Seeming to perceive his company's position, Clow spoke first as easily as if the doctor's unasked question had already passed him. "If you're going to hallucinate, Hawkins," He whispered softly, though the doctor noted gratefully, not with menace, "You should learn to do it silently."
"How did you find me?" Hawkins asked at last, trembling weakly as he tried in vain to stand. Collapsing back into the snow, he tried to hide the grimace of pain as he felt himself land upon the tree's hard roots, but rather glanced as pleasantly as he could muster into Clow's surveying blue eyes. Wordlessly and without answering, the taller ban bent down, his long black cloak sticking to the snow as he went. Gently, and with his face still impossible to read, he swung the doctor's arms around his shoulders and helped him to his feet.
"Yue," he whispered at last. "Yue sent me."
And without another word on the subject, he half-carried his once good friend back toward civilization.
* * *
Yue was bleeding.
Swearing softly, the disheveled youth withdrew his pitiful attempts at tearing through his ice barrier. Sighing and sinking back onto the rather cold cave floor, he tore a thin strip off the hem of his sleeve and wound it tightly across his blistered finger which now bore a small cut across its numb and pale surface. As he turned his attention away from the shallow scratch and back towards his frozen adversary, he reflected aggravatedly how pitiful this situation was.
For all the time he had spent over the past few months carefully exploring and developing his various magical abilities, the whole thing now seemed a rather pitiful endeavor as he sat here hopelessly, trapped by little more than a few feet of compressed snow. Breaking his death glare upon the ice briefly, Yue glanced past his shoulder toward the shadowy mouth which guarded the rest of the cavern. Cerberus, he was sure, had fallen asleep again. He supposed it wasn't surprising; despite the little lion's blatant denial, he was certain that the high emotions and physical insanity of last night had taken their toll upon his elder brother. And, he thought somewhat uncomfortably, he was certain that, somewhere deep in his mind, Cerberus was eager to sleep so that he might continue to dream of the future.
No, he couldn't think about that. That was not the future.
Brushing these confusing thoughts from his mind, Yue resumed his staring match with the ice before him. He had soon taken advantage of his brother's slumber and returned here to the outer chamber in the hopes of finding some way to break through the rapidly solidifying frost. Surely, he had thought, with all his magic had been capable of thus far—of what Clow's cards (which were beneath him) were presumably capable of—there would be some way of breaking the hold of this snow. His first thought, which had come to him vaguely after he had fallen asleep earlier, was that perhaps he could tap into his growing telekinetic power which he had found so much use for lately, and simply blow the ice elsewhere. The theory had seemed quite sound, around the manor he had found that it was quite simple for him to draw back curtains, open doors and windows and similar simple tasks with his magic rather than any physical force. True he'd not bothered to try his hand with anything as large and imposing as a wall of snow, but the concept should still be sound. As he made his attempt, however, it was with a full introduction into the denseness of an object such as packed snow. Building up his power gingerly, he'd caught a brief glimpse as the tips of his fingers began to glow a faint amethyst color against the atmosphere. His focus determinedly on the snow, he slashed at the air, sending a soft violet streak across it. There was a noise of crushing matter and the walls of the cavern had shaken ominously. Then there was nothing and the snow stood as solid as ever, merely compacted against itself by the force of the young sorcerer's magic. Angrily, Yue had tried a few more pitiful attempts at destroying the barrier, the most violent of which had involved igniting half his right arm in a purpurescent blaze and slashing at the ice with the trailing whip of energy, but his heart was not truly in it. After a while he gave up the crusade and contented himself with bitterly punching the immovable blockade.
That was how he had injured himself, however lightly. For a moment he hadn't noticed his bleeding finger (for truth be told the cold had made it too numb to feel properly anyway) as a stark realization struck him. Withdrawing from the wall, a deeply cold feeling slipped into his chest that had nothing to do with the surrounding chill. The snow was solidifying. Now that the worst of the storm had passed, the slight raise in temperature the cave provided was causing the snow to melt—and then refreeze into even more impassable ice. As he tended to his small wound, Yue reflected with a kind of cold horror that if the ice crystals were already hardening enough to cut him, then they soon would develop a layer of hard protection against any of their futile attempts at escape.
Before he had time to contemplate this matter further, however, he heard the sound of sudden shuffling coming from the cavernous chamber behind him, and a weak voice shouting his name. "In here, Cerberus." He called dismally. Somewhat drunkenly the little lion cub toddled into the room, looking gloomy.
"Any progress?" he asked, glancing towards the heavily slashed and somewhat compounded pile of snow that had so far blocked their exit.
Yue sighed and subconsciously drifted his uninjured right hand through his slightly damp and lank hair. "No," responded tiredly, "not unless you consider compacting the damned thing 'progress'." Cerberus's ears drooped at the words and he looked (if possible) even more miserable and hopeless than before. Both to change the bleak topic of the snow and out of genuine curiosity, Yue pressed on. "Did you see something?" he asked as casually as he could muster, while all the while his nerves might have been leaping with anticipation at his brother's response.
"Well, they found us finally." He reported with a failed attempt at a smile. Yue wasn't fooled, and a little more openly depressed, Cerberus added. "Ages from now, we—we were both…" The cub's voice faded as if to avoid the words at all possible, in his brother's mind however, they rang perfectly clear: They were both dead. Well, he imagined, that were inevitable if they were trapped in here for days, even perhaps a few more hours. Truly he had no idea what dying of cold might feel like, but somehow seriously doubted, though they had been out here for hours, that it could creep upon them quite so soon. For one, he felt, surely a dying man could not still think so clearly.
"Yue," his brother's voice interjected again, reawakening the young man from his morbid thoughts, "There is—I mean, you do suppose there's really a way out of this, right?"
"Don't be stupid." Yue retorted automatically.
"I'm not!" Cerberus shouted somewhat angrily, leaping to his feet. "You might have issues with your own mortality, Yue, but I know what I'm seeing!"
"If you want to die then go ahead." Yue hissed back coldly, "I can't speak for you Cerberus, but I know I am not going to meet my end in this cave."
All was silent for a moment, and Cerberus stared at his brother with some kind of strange curiosity, as if he had just heard something highly interesting in his brother's words. "You know…?" he muttered softly.
"I didn't mean anything by it." The young sorcerer sighed in frustration. "I was just," he searched for an appropriate word, "Venting."
"Right," the small lion muttered, more to himself than anyone, "Of course…" before he sank into what may have been a contemplative silence. For what seemed like an eternity, nothing but silence and the dripping cave walls echoed throughout the chamber. Yue hastily turned back toward the icy barrier trying his best to act as if it actually interested him. In reality, however, he knew Cerberus had a point. He wasn't sure what it was that made him so determinedly sure that they were not going to be trapped here forever, but somewhere deep within him he knew that his destiny stretched far past this winter storm… somehow, he did know.
After a long while of sitting silently curled up against the rock face, Cerberus spoke again.
"Yue?" he asked tentatively, though still seeming absorbed in his deep thoughts. "What'd you suppose will happen to us when we die?"
Stunned and somewhat uncomfortable at his sibling's words, Yue said nothing, but the little orange cube seemed not to be expecting an answer. "Do you suppose," he carried on as if the pause had not occurred, "Do you suppose we'll go back to before, when we were just free-floating energy in the universe, or… do we just stop existing altogether?
"I guess, " he continued, rolling over and looking meditative, "Once you've been dragged into the whole muscle and sinew thing, there's not really any going back to being unconscious spirits, but…" he paused again, and Yue could tell his brother's yellow eyes were now directly upon him. "I dunno, to just stop being… seems a bit too…anti-climactic. So…" his voice trailed off slightly, and Yue felt it safe to chance a glance in his direction. "So what'd you suppose happens to us?"
As their eyes met, Yue could nearly feel himself burning inside with something that felt highly uncomfortable, as if the very gaze of Cerberus's yellow eyes should have made him squirm in his skin. "I-" he whispered at last. "I don't know…"
* * *
It was amazing how well silence could echo.
At least it seemed amazing to the two men sitting at the pavilion. The pavilion at Godstone was quite different than the one Clow Reed was familiar with at Lightwater and, though it was well known that Lightwater was one of the smallest (and therefore most modest) villages in most of Surrey, he almost felt that the place was a bit shabbier as well. Unlike the warm and somewhat cozy setting of the village shopping district, Godstone's central piazza was situated in the backdrop of the somewhat dismal-looking shops and stores so that they almost looked like odd boxy mountains in the distance. Surrounding the space on all other sides was a thin gathering of trees through which the two men had, not so long ago, emerged. In their sad shape, hardly a comparison to old Tom's bar which would have dominated their view back home. Adding to the somewhat dreary atmosphere was the lazy grey-colored skies which, floated fluidly overhead so that no sunlight could be seen all around the town. The occasional pile of snow upon the ground, and the seemingly dead and leaflessness of the surrounding glade did little to make one feel welcome. Although, Clow thought to himself, even in the middle of the summertime he supposed he would be much more at home back in Lightwater.
How long he and the doctor had been sitting there, Clow hardly knew, but the stiffness in his knees and curious coldness of various other parts of his body suggested to the wizard that the pair of them had been sitting on this hard stone bench quite a while now. Hawkins, indeed, seemed at a loss for words, and Clow hardly knew what to say; this had been Yue's idea, not his. If he'd had any inkling what to say to the doctor, certainly he'd have gone and said it sometime in the last five and a half months that had passed since their last true meeting on the morning of July 1st. And so the two men sat, faces freezing, joints stiffening, and the silence echoing.
After what seemed like an eternity, sound at last gripped Clow's ears. It was soft and faint, much like the cooing of some frail injured bird, but nevertheless it shattered the ringing silence. "I suppose," the meek voice began. "I suppose everything is alright back home?" the doctor asked tentatively, his eyes still glued to the grayish pavers beneath their feet. "I mean, for you to come here like this…"
Clow sighed; glad that the void between them was now broken (and that he hadn't had to be the one to break it), but at the same time terrified of the conversation which must follow. "Actually I wouldn't say so." Clow replied honestly. "Cerberus is desperately mad at me, and Yue has recently taken to sneaking down to the village, trying to get us together I suppose."
"I think I can believe that," Hawkins laughed, quite to his companion's surprise. "Although if I were that boy, I think I'd stay well away from Elizabeth Rae."
Clow simply stared in disbelief at the doctor as he continued to chuckle slightly, his pale blue eyes sparkling in the nonexistent sunlight. "I don't understand you, Hawkins." He said at last, the note of sheer astonishment ringing in his voice as clearly as it did his gaze.
"I told you that night, didn't I?" Hawkins replied, making his best attempt at a merry smile, "I don't want to be one of those people down in the village Clow, those weak-minded people.
"I don't want to see you drawn and quartered or those boys of yours burned at the stake;" For a brief moment, something unusual, like a memory flashed momentarily across the doctor's gaze, and deep within his mind, Hawkins saw spontaneously the images he had described. Screams of agony pierced the air, and the clip-clop of horse's hooves. All around billowed clouds of black smoke across the inky black sky, obscuring the stars, and all was ignited by a sickening ember glow. "I'm not…I'm not that." He finished somewhat lamely, his eyes still slightly glassy as the phantom of the image floated lazily across his mind.
"Then, why—?"
"Have I been avoiding you?" The doctor asked, returning from his momentary trance and running a distracted hand through his soft blond curls. "Because… that's just what I've got to do right now, mate." For the first time since his arrival, Clow dared to take a real look at his friend, Benjamin Hawkins. For the most part, the man was the same, the same golden curls, the same scruffily beard, the same pale blue eyes… But there was something else in the doctor's face now, something older, something more tragic. His once rosy skin had now taken on a pale, slightly grey color, and he well matched the frozen flagstones beneath them. His hair hung more lankly, and his kind face seemed more lined—even his jolly and sparking eyes seemed to have lost some of their previous luster. The words were tingling on the edge of the magician's tongue, just begging him to whisper them: 'What's happened to you, Hawkins?' But he could not make himself say them. And so they sat in silence, until the doctor continued, as if he could read his friend's mind. "I don't expect you to understand Clow, alright? I just—" his voice trailed off.
At last Clow felt he was beginning to understand. "These delusions, Hawkins, these visions…"
"Been happening since the first." The doctor replied easily. "Visions, nightmares, everything under the sun, mate."
"I could—maybe I could help—"
But the doctor's sudden smile cut him off, and Clow Reed fell as instantly soundless as the surrounding brush. "I can take care of this, Clow. There's nothing you can do about this one. This is between me and my sanity; just the pair of us lovebirds."
"Hawkins," his companion whispered softly from his side, "Hawkins, if this has anything to do with Cerberus, or," more tentatively, "With Yue…"
To Clow's surprise, the man beside him laughed heartily at this stuttering comment, throwing back his long mane of curls to the winds. "Oh Clow, it has everything to do with Yue. Of course it does!"
"But—"
Hawkins laughed again, more controlled this time, his eyes on the confounded magician who was now practically gaping at him. "Not the way you think, Clow; it's nothing like the horrors I'm sure you're imagining."
"But," the taller man spluttered, "That morning, you—you were…"
"Hysterical?" his friend offered whimsically.
"Well… What I mean is," Clow began more softly, more seriously, and correspondingly, Hawkins let his laughter and whimsy fade, facing his partner quite seriously. "It shouldn't have happened. I needn't have called you that morning Hawkins; you needn't have seen or done the things I made you—that I…"
"Clow!" Hawkins' voice cut across Clow's stumbling rant like a knife, and immediately the man fell into a stunned silence. For a moment he stared at the doctor, somewhat dumbfounded, but Hawkins' eyes were strong and sparkling again, much like Clow had known them to be before—in their days before Cerberus or Yue, before magic or theories. With the same fire and intensity which burned in his icy blue depths, the clearly broken (and yet oddly empowered) physician spoke. "Clow, you damned fool, don't you understand? I'm glad you came for me that night! I'm happy that you showed me to those boys! I'm positively giddy that you locked me in there with Yue! Don't you see what it's done for me?"
For a moment it looked as if the wizard in question were about to reply—undoubtedly to point out to the doctor that what it had obviously done was ruin his sanity. Hawkins seemed to reflect upon this too, for his speech broke off for a moment. True, there could be no doubt that it was that night—the night of June 30 and the morning of July 1—which had caused his odd symptoms as of late. Clow didn't know the half of it in all honesty, and in the same spirit the doctor thought he might prefer it that way. Or course there were the visions, the hallucinations as Clow called them; yes they frequented him quite a lot now. But there was also the drunken rush that was now so often his companion, and these new startling apparitions, he thought, mind drifting back to the grotesque image of death that had appeared hazily to him only minutes before. But despite all that, there was something about that night, some wonderful thing. He had entered the manor with determination, so eager to help his friend, but he should have known at the time it would never be that simple. Even as he'd ran so 'heroically' after Clow, the real truth of the matter had whispered in the back of his mind, the reality that Clow lived alone and knew none. Yes, deep down, Hawkins supposed he had known exactly the sort of thing which must have awaited him at Reed manor, and yet he went anyway. He had gone anyway. And thank God he had! Elsewise, if he hadn't seen that boy, Yue Reed—if he hadn't been forced to examine him, forced to discover the truth of the boy's nature—then where would he be now? Still clinging to the small-minded ways of his fellow Englishmen? Still hiding in his little cabin, hoping that nice and safe, away from such taboos as sorcery, the occult, intelligent thought? No, he would gladly take his now questionable sanity over that.
If only somehow he could express this to Clow; if only he could convey how blessed this new state was for him—this new, albeit painful, existence. Before he could even begin to articulate these deepest ponderings, however, Hawkins' attention was broken by a stout fellow who had just wandered into the square.
"Oi! Ben!" the little man called as he hurried toward them, one hand holding down his shabby grey cap so as to make sure it didn't fly off in the wind. He was a rather odd bloke himself judging by appearance, and Clow, despite his seriousness, amusedly lapped up every bit of his unusual dress. He was a very short man, even below the height of most ladies Clow had seen—in England or abroad he imagined. He had a great deal of flyaway ashen brown hair which wisped here and there from under his hat as he ran. He had a fat little round face, and large watery brown eyes which gave every impression of an overly-excited hound, and plump ruddy cheeks which stood out prominently against the snow. His grey jacket, matching his hat was either poorly sewn together or inside out, and as he removed his hand from his desperately clinging hat, it was to reveal an outrageously turquoise feather and a large hole where it looked like someone had given the cap a good punch.
"Ben!" he cried out again, rushing up to Hawkins, looking simply giddy at the sight of the tall, slender blond. "So it is true! You have come to town! I'd only just heard. Been out on business you know down by the coast—terrible weather there, very wet." He said all of this very fast, and with a voice that sounded high and almost squeaky. Clow again found himself thinking of a small yipping dog.
"I'm only here for the holiday, Perkins." Responded, disappointed in the interruption, but nevertheless smiling at the sudden arrival. "Then it's back home for me."
"And who are you?" the man called Perkins asked curiously, at last seeming to notice Clow.
"Oh, Perkins this is Mr. Reed, a colleague of mine. Clow, this" he nodded somewhat uncomfortably. "Is Lucian Perkins." His voice spoke heavily of apology as he introduced the bouncy little man, and Clow couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the predicament.
"Ah, Lightwater as well is it?" he asked politely, turning to Clow. "Well my you boys are lucky you decided to pop down our way!"
"What do you mean, Perkins?" Hawkins asked, his brow becoming slightly furrowed.
"Why my dear boys! Haven't you heard?" He looked concernedly from one man to the next, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he did so. Seeing the confused look on both their faces, he seemed shocked. "Well, my God, Lightwater—it isn't there anymore is it?"
"What?" Clow asked at once, leaping to his feet, his heart suddenly beating very fast beneath his breast. "What do you mean it isn't there anymore?"
"Ya really haven't heard?!" Perkins exclaimed, his wide puppy eyes growing even larger, "The whole village's been struck down by an awful blizzard—just blew in out of nowhere! The entire region's been declared a white-out! There's nothing left, the whole town's been buried under the snow!"
For a split second, Clow froze solid. He couldn't move, couldn't think, he scarcely dared to breathe. Lightwater…Lightwater was gone!?
"Clow, come on." Hawkins voice whispered from somewhere beside him, and a strong pair of arms urged him forward. He heard the voice murmur a thanks of sorts to Perkins and then, once they were out of earshot, whisper to him again "It'll be alright, we'll get you back there."
"H-how?" Clow stuttered at last, his brain still too lethargic to complete any complex thought. "It took an entire day to-to get here! How—?"
"If you ride straight through the country, it's only about thirty miles."
"R-ride?" Clow asked shakily, still not thinking properly.
"Yes." Replied Hawkins simply. "Ride."
* * *
Silence echoed here too.
Cerberus made this observation as he lay there on the floor of his cavernous hiding place. It must have been ages since they had left the manor, and the view of the surrounding stone walls was beginning to turn monotonous. He was amazed too that their little lantern was still burning. Surly that must mean it had been less than a day. Not that he was too sure how long an oil lamp kept burning, never been the kind to stay up too late reading or otherwise needing artificial light. He did imagine, however, that it surely wouldn't last a whole day… would it? For the first time in what seemed like an eternity the walls and stalactites were not dripping. The only sound now was the soft noise of his brother's breathing, and to Cerberus who had spent hours now dreaming of their inevitable and approaching deaths, it was welcome company.
The Reed brothers had been sleeping in shifts for quite a while now, so as to make sure that they didn't both sleep until they froze to death (and as neither of them had gotten any sleep the night before). It was currently Yue's turn, and Cerberus watched the dancing flame upon the tip of their lantern as it glowed on the far side of the room.
What a predicament they had now gotten into, the cub thought to himself as he gazed toward the front of the cave where he knew the enclosing mound of snow and ice was sitting. All this because he'd decided to run away… Was the universe just out to get him or something? Somewhere out there did the divine cosmos just decide that Cerberus Reed was a good time to pick on? The one time he decided to go off and do something stupid—the one time! What happens? A bloody blizzard hits!
Actually, he supposed silently, that wasn't fair to the universe. This wasn't really the first time he'd done something stupid, was it? Cerberus thought back to the last six months of his life; was this really the first time he'd gone and made a fool of himself. The first thing that came glaringly to mind was the previous august when he had pushed Yue off that cliff that overlooked the lake. Sure everyone had come out of it little more than wet and slightly strangled…
But that wasn't true either was it? Cerberus's mind drifted over those moments he, at the time, had been unwilling to notice. Yue's wings had been sprained from the strain of pulling himself out of that terminal dive that Cerberus had sent him into. That was why Clow had made him rake all those leaves: as punishment for being stupid.
Unwillingly, and not entirely knowing why, the little cub felt his mind invaded by sudden images of another night.
"I hateyou, you son of a bitch!"
Cerberus whimpered as his own infuriated words echoed about across his previous silence, screaming, screeching like a madman, like some nutter.
"I wish you'd never been born!!"
And for the first time in as long as he could remember, Cerberus Reed felt shameful. Against his will, he could feel hot tears burning in the corners of his eyes, and he did nothing to stop them. After all, what was the point of rubbing them away and pretending—to no one, for Yue was asleep—that they were nothing. He glanced over to the place where his brother lay in an uneasy sleep. The lamplight played hard upon his sharp features, and cast an ethereally soft orange color across his normally pale skin.
"I wish you'd just roll over and die!!!"
The last and worst of his stupid, stupid screams had come. And now Cerberus could do nothing for his tears, his stupid guilty tears. Why was he such an idiot? Why was it he had said all those awful things? Surely they couldn't be true! Glancing again at his brother through his streaming eyes, the elder Reed boy couldn't help but feel more miserable. Asleep like this, Yue looked perfectly innocent, his pale eyes softly closed, and his long silky hair drifting lazily across his face. It was perfectly true, Yue was an arse! There was just no way of getting around that fact. But all the same, he thought as he watched the boy shiver in his sleep, he wasn't exactly the demonic and heartless creature Cerberus had been trying so hard to paint him as. Hell, that Yue was trying to paint himself as too! Things were not so simple. Perhaps the two of them weren't bosom friends, but all the same, a part of Cerberus knew that he was suddenly glad his brother was born. Glad he now had someone to pick on, torment, and otherwise make hell on earth for. But with love!
"Hey, Yue?" he whispered, though he knew his comatose sibling couldn't hear. "Don't roll over and die, okay?"
So that was that. He was stupid. He didn't think things out well. Well, that could only get better! It was like exploring Clow's sock drawer, he learned then not to stick your nose in a sock!
Now that that was all settled though, he thought, there was still a slight problem facing him. Wiping his eyes with the back of his paw and pushing himself to his feet, Cerberus stood with new gallantry. Alright, time to try things Yue's way; they were not going to hang around here any longer!
They were NOT going to die here!
As the words plowed across his mind, Cerberus Reed for the first time felt empowered, as if a powerful force were burning within him. Even the atmosphere around seemed to warp at the new found blaze.
"Yue!" he yelled purposefully, his voice reverberating off the hard stone enclosure. "Come on! We're getting out of here!"
Blinking slowly back to consciousness, Yue peered through his tired eyes to his brother, now marching his way across the cave to the mouth where the ice wall stood impenetrable.
Within the space of a heartbeat, the proud lion had reached the snow, and, not entirely sure what he was doing, turned to face it like an enemy at battle. He could clearly see the slash marks where Yue had earlier tried to tear at the ice face. Yue's magic was useless here, at least at the skill level it stood now. Clow was away, nowhere near finding them in this mess. But there was one more magician of Reed manor! There was one more bit of magic they hadn't tried yet!
Not completely knowing what was driving him, Cerberus threw all of his fury, all of his pain, at the impassible barricade. The world seemed to be moving in a ridiculously slow pace. For a moment, Cerberus stood there, panting at the ice, his heavy breath curling opaque upon the air like a low-hanging thunderhead blowing in. Before Yue really knew what was happening, he was on his feet, and for some inexorable reason (he felt flustered for noticing) his heart seemed to be beating quite faster than necessary. The curls of Cerberus's foggy breath seemed to be getting darker now, almost like smoke, and Yue felt it rush over him like waves crashing on a beach, even from behind. Before either had time to think, or even breathe, the cave erupted in flames, the long curls igniting all at once. Yue was forced to look away as Cerberus's lit aflame, and poured its heat upon the frost. Blinding light from the sudden fire burned his eyes, long accustomed to the cave's darkness, as much as (he was sure) the flames themselves would. For the first time in many hours, Cerberus felt his brow laced with sweat as the heat erupted from him, glowing across the entire dark expanse, and likewise turning the ice and snow into dripping slush. Melting and melting away, within a few elongated moments, the first rays of sunshine peaked through a newly born hole. They would soon be free!
* * *
The hooves of Clow Reed's horse thundered upon the frozen ground, though the man himself scarcely heard them as he thundered off into the morning light. There was a fierce determination about him as he sped across the country side, Hawkins's little chestnut pony beneath him, his long ebony hair whipping wildly on the wind, and his eyes seemed to burn with intensity and focus—as if he'd only just left Godstone—despite the length of his sudden journey. Lightwater now in view, the empowered sorcerer tore past the village welcoming gate, and urged the beast beneath him onward; he had to get home! He had to get to the manor! But as he rushed into what should have been the mouth to a lively and vibrant town, Clow quite nearly stopped in his tracks, his previous determination slowly turning to apprehension. Despite his oddness, that bloke Perkins certainly had one thing going for him: his information was sound. Lightwater was gone.
Slowing the horse to a walk, Clow surveyed the snow-covered wasteland which (he assumed) had once been his home. It seemed utterly impossible—he'd been sure the man must have been exaggerating! But as he scanned his eyes across the landscape, it was only the tops of snow-covered roofs, peaking over the mounds of ice like islands dotted across a vast sea, which met his gaze. All across what should have been avenues, and shacks, and the warm pavilion piles and piles of snow now lay, such that the entire town up to at least several feet was buried beneath an impossibly immense snow fall. All the doors and windows (of what buildings remained fully intact from the storm) had disappeared beneath the slush, and Clow couldn't help but think of what must have become—or be becoming--of his neighbors within. It seemed as if overnight, the village of Lightwater, Surrey had become a ghost town.
For a moment, Clow could do nothing but stare in shock, his mind as frozen as the ground beneath him. Then reality came hurling back at him like a great flood: The manor! What had become of the manor?! Without a second thought, or a glance at the morbid scene, the dark magician turned his horse and thundered off in the direction of the bridge, trying his best to ignore the carnage of buried and ruined buildings as he went. At the river bank, however, he was forced to stop himself again. The old watermill beside the river was still partially uncovered by the snowfall, its dual pointed roof sticking up oddly like a pair of peaking cliffs, and the top of its water wheel waving oddly in the wind as the rest of its body remained locked and frozen in place by the ice below. Beside the little wooden building, however, there lay no sign of the bridge which usually lay across the river. Clow swore loudly into the roaring wind, his voice carried across the deserted river bank. If the bridge had collapsed in the snow, then—!
Running a hand through his hair and suppressing a strong desire to kick something, the wired wizard forced himself half-heartedly into a kind of calm. There was a simple and logical solution to all of this, he was sure. The bridge had been blown out, his village had been devoured by some damned blizzard, the clear blue-grey skies above were shining mockingly down upon the wreckage like some sick, demented undertaker—! But surely, surely there was a logical way to go about this!
He needed to know what was going on up at the manor, that much was certain, Clow thought calmly to himself, trying his hardest to avoid the awful guilty pain that was infringing upon his mind. He never should have left! But that didn't matter now, it didn't matter now. The manor… Clow reminded himself frustratingly, the manor! The manor was on the hill, his tired, shocked, and strained brain managed feebly. Though momentarily scolding himself for this level of thinking, Clow took it in stride, stroking the horse's mane absentmindedly with on hand as he did so. The manor was on the hill, yes, but wasn't the vast and sloping lawn which surrounded it just as open and vulnerable as the town below? Were Cerberus and Yue now trapped as well beneath feet of the heavy frost just like the townsmen? Damnit! He needed to know for sure!
Punching the air in his fury, the strained wizard contemplated what few options he had at the moment. The waters of the river had frozen for the winter season long ago, there was a chance they might hold him even without the bridge… But at the same time, if his home too were buried, or, Clow's stomach churned sickeningly at the idea, if it were damaged! If Cerberus and Yue were trapped inside a freezing and crumbling building, if he needed to go for help, he needed to know now!
Before he could contemplate this any further, however—before he could even begin to imagine what terrible fate he might have left for his 'children' by running off to Godstone, a sudden energy shot across Clow like musket fire. As if urging him on, as if offering him a last chance of hope, redemption, the strange new aura seemed to warm the sorcerer from within as it swept across his senses. It was a brilliant radiant energy, new and unexplored—and yet oddly familiar all at the same time. Clow closed his eyes, letting the sensation fill up is exhausted and anxiety-ridden body, and then it struck him, out of the blue: Cerberus!
* * *
Giving one last puff of smoky breath, Cerberus collapsed exhaustedly to the ground. All around him the archway of the unmelted ice dripped upon his panting form, rewetting his fur in the cold, but it didn't matter, he thought as lay with his sprawled front half out of the cave, they were free!
"You did it." A soft voice beside him whispered in wonder. Crouching down on one knee to properly examine his brother's miraculous handiwork (either not remembering or not caring that he was wearing nothing more than robes which parted down the front), Yue stroked one of his long-fingered hands down the side of the newly formed hole the lion's flame had made in the barrier. Where the flame had touched the slush, the ice had become smooth and clear, flowing around the scorched opening as if it were moving water set suddenly still. "It's beautiful."
Cerberus decided it better to take Yue's word on this subject; he suddenly felt exhausted, and was much more content to lie there panting and soaking up what he presumed at last to be glorious sunlight. Heat still surging through him like an adrenaline rush, he almost felt warm despite the fact that he was now out in the icy wind and ground of glistening snow. Thinking of the journey to the manor ahead of them, Yue attempted one glance toward these pure white peaks which rolled like plains all about them, but the sting on his dark-adjusted eyes forced him to turn away. It were as if the solid range of snow had taken in the weak and parted sunbeams, and turned a spotlight upon them. Before he could point this out to Cerberus, however and the wait that would presumably ensue for their eyes to adjust, a large, shadowy shape came blurring past their cave. Cerberus yelped and withdrew his paws inward, and Yue fell back into the cave so fast he might have received an electric shock. Meanwhile the shadowy figure drew his horse to a sudden stop, sending snow flying at its hooves, and leapt off the animal's back.
"Cerberus!" A strong, masculine voice called from amidst the dark obstruction. "Yue!"
Yue very nearly yelled something indecent as he hurriedly crossed his cloaks across himself, hiding as best he could anything below his chest from view and looking simultaneously very flustered. Cerberus on the other hand perked up immediately at the sound of the voice, his previously drooping ears shooting up like a pair of spring flowers. "Clow!" he called excitedly as he could, the bulk of his body still lying flat upon the ground. Within a moment, Yue had regained his composure and pulled himself back to his knees in time to see Clow's wind-whipped face appear in the hole Cerberus's fire had cut in the ice. He looked worn and tired, dark circles just barely visible beneath his askew glasses, and his hair befitting of Medusa. All the same, it was the obvious relief in his voice when he muttered thanks to something the Reed brothers couldn't quite make out which was most disconcerting. Wordlessly, he held out his hand and helped Yue thorough the raised opening in the frost. "Come on, Cerberus." His brother whispered, and without another remark, grabbed the small cub around the middle and hoisted him too into the brilliance of the open snow.
"Whoa." Cerberus commented after he had settled into Yue's arms and taken a blinking look at their surroundings. The snow seemed dominating. In every direction about them, the glistening, glittering, white expanse was the only thing visible. From all the three magicians could tell it could have carried on forever. "Did—did all this fall during the storm?" he asked in astonishment.
Clow didn't answer, but instead busied himself with gathering up the lantern and the rest of Yue's still drying garments onto the back of the horse. Yue, however, held less of his brother's awe at the endless powder around them, and as Cerberus's furry little head ticked back and forth like a metronome, taking in the scene from his raised position in his sibling's arms, the young teenager watched Clow with equal intent. If Clow had rushed back here, borrowed even a horse for the job, something surely was wrong. What had he been expecting to find when he discovered them that he was so thankful he did not? Did the older sorcerer, like Cerberus, know of some impending disaster, some terrifying circumstance which would make him fear for their safety? "Lightwater." Clow froze momentarily as the word was spoken. "Clow," Yue began again, "How did Lightwater fair?"
The man in question said nothing. Even Cerberus seemed to sense something uncomfortable of the situation, for he turned away from his merry survey of the surroundings, and turned, looking somewhat more concernedly toward where the wizard stood at the horse's flank. At last, sighing, Clow knew he had no choice but to speak. "Gone." He said at last, solemnly, his eyes fixed unreadable at his feet. "Roofs caved in, all exits obscured from homes—some…completely buried." Unconsciously, Yue drew his brother more tightly to his chest, thoughts of what must have become—or be becoming—of the trapped villagers running so clearly through his eyes that Clow found it much harder to continue tightening the horse's saddle unconcernedly. He let the saddle buckle fall limply in his hand only half secured, his eyes falling guiltily toward the ground again. No one spoke. All around the wind danced, singing a secret song across the wilderness which only it and its fellows could understand. As it picked up all around them, it swept up the trailing strands of Yue's pale, shining hair—by now damp at the ends from lying so long on the snow—and as his long tresses whirled together, dancing to the wind song, Clow was struck, even in his misery, of the young man's beauty. He was like the snow all around them, the same fair hue, and with the same brilliant glimmer as his hair danced about him on the breeze. And like the snow, he seemed ever more lovely as he became ever more tragic. It was an odd thought to have, Clow would grant himself that, but all the same, he thought as he stood there rooted and frozen in the snow, his eyes locked almost mesmerizingly into Yue's pale violet, glimmering in the sunlight, it made some kind of crazy sense. Though neither could have fathomed it at the time, it was a sorry truth which Clow would discover again and again such that not even his own death would eventually save him from the torment. It would eventually become the thread that would both make, and then break forever, their relationship.
But of course none could have known these bleak truths of the far future, and the next voice to break the silence was Cerberus's. "Is-isn't there something we can do?" He asked, his voice wavering uncertainly, as if he could somehow sense that the grave seriousness between them all were more than remorse at the village's peril. He needn't have feared, however, for Clow immediately broke eye contact, his trance gone, and turned his attention back to the horse's saddle even as the wind continued to gust all around the three magicians. Refusing to let the subject die (and chancing a glance toward the great exit he had just burned in the ice at the cave mouth), the small mane-less lion continued with more strength, "What about that-that Fiery card or whatever? Can't you use that to melt the snow."
For a time Clow still said nothing, but feeling the burn of Cerberus's innocent yet determined gaze upon him, at last was forced to respond. "No, Cerberus, I can't."
"But—!"
"Think, Cerberus! I can't turn fire loose on the town, half of its built of wood, what do you suppose would happen to the villagers then? If-if there even still are any villagers." Cerberus whimpered at this thought, and snuggled himself closer to Yue. Feeling perhaps that taking his frustration out on his sons was not the best way to go about all this, Clow again released Hawkins' chestnut and said more calmly. "Even if we could somehow melt all the ice without burning down the town, it would still leave behind the equivalent in water, the village—the village would be…" At last it seemed the wizard had reached his breaking point. He quickly hid his face from view and let his sentence die on the wind.
"Flooded." A soft voice finished for him. "The village would be flooded by the waters."
"Not to mention," Clow half-moaned with what must have been a bit of genuine sorrow, "I've never used the cards before. Who's to say they can even be controlled—or even activated for that matter, I've never tried.
"I'm sorry Cerberus," the man concluded, taking a few steps forward and facing his little cub directly. "There just isn't a way… to just make it all vanish…" But there Clow's mantra came to an abrupt halt. In quick succession he glanced from Cerberus, huddled in his brother's arms, to the cave where the neat little hole in the ice still stood, and at last to the rest of the snow upon the ground. Perhaps… he thought, it was crazy but, just perhaps…
Not bothering to explain himself, Clow plunged his free hand (not on the horse) down the front of his jacket and withdrew a small bronze key. Before either of the other sorcerers could react, he had cried "Release!" and the area was momentarily bathed with light. Yue shielded both himself and his sibling from the sudden brilliance, but by the time it had faded, Clow had already, inexplicably, drawn a plain tarot card from his pocket, and tossed it into the air above their heads. Suddenly pointing his newly formed staff towards Cerberus's nose ("He's mental" the lion whimpered) and shouted "SEAL!" There was another great surge of light, and, still unable to fully comprehend what was going on, Yue wondered vaguely how much more shock his retinas could take in one day. For a long time, he thought it better to keep his eyes closed for fear of another flash, but as he heard Cerberus's shocked gasp, the youngest of the trio couldn't help but peer, against his better judgment, to whatever was so amazing before him. At first, Yue thought it quite foolish of his brother to act so shocked, for all he could see at the moment was Clow standing there, feet wet with snow, the odd staff he had just conjured (Yue had never seen Clow use magic before) perched crookedly in his left hand and a ridiculous grin on his face. It was then that that the young magician noticed the curious object perched in the wizard's right hand: in the place of the worthless and beaten tarot there now stood a slightly larger card of red and bronze, a strange jester-like female adorning the front.
"'The Erase'." Yue read quietly, stepping forward (and disregarding the spidery hanzi at the top, which seemed utter gibberish to him). "Another card?" he asked
"Solar." Clow replied joyously.
"I'd imagine."
After seeing that he was set to the ground, Clow turned accordingly to his other 'son'. "Cerberus," He muttered excitedly, for the first time since he'd arrived sounding more like himself. "Do you think you can—I mean—do you know how to use this?" He stooped down and held out the card to the magical cub, who sniffed it briefly as it was set in front of him. 'Do you know' he'd asked, the lion in question mused sarcastically, hadn't he just gone over how much he knew in this world? How much more equipped Yue was for tasks of the thinking variety?
All the same, as he looked up to meet Clow's gaze, he heard himself reply "Yes." Somehow, like with the snow, he knew he would be able to do this. Taking a deep breath, and fully aware that both of the other men's eyes were upon him, Cerberus mustered all he could of his power and cried "ERASE!"
The effect was immediate. For a split second there was a flash of whitish light, and instantly a roar of wind and puffy smoke, which had nothing to do with the weather, exploded out of the little piece of paper along with the acrobatic likeness of the woman on the cover. She flipped acrobatically out of the whirlwind of billowy white smoke, her checkerboard hat and tights swirling nauseatingly and her ruffled collar flapping like mad beneath her insultingly short hair, and landed gracefully hovering in the air above Cerberus a long ; she was easily the oddest maiden Yue Reed had ever seen. Though her lips did not move, a moment later he clearly heard her deep echoic voice whisper "At your command, sir."
But before Cerberus could even manage to get his stunned nerves to work properly enough to form words, she smiled and whispered "Consider it done" and all at once rose into the sky and vanished. For a split second, Cerberus stared dumbfounded at the place where she had disappeared, Clow and Yue rushing to his side with equal looks of confusion. Could she have possibly read his mind? And if so, where was she now? Then the three nearly leapt out of their skins as the snow beneath their feet rumbled ominously and began to be sucked into the air. About a foot off the ground, the flying powder vanished as easily as the Erase had done, disappearing instantly in a puff of smoke which too faded away. The horse beside them screamed, and reared back, quite nearly dislodging all the Clow had spent so much time distracting himself with tying down. For several terrified minutes, all three of the Reed magicians lay helpless on the departing ground, Clow having grabbed both boys around the neck, and forced them to their knees beneath him so as to provide some kind of protection. Soon, however, the action began to subside, and, chancing a glance upward, Clow saw that the Erase had not disappeared after all, but instead lay far above them, her mastodon's cape which her picture had contained now spread wide over the vanishing snowy countryside, and her legs beneath her having turned instead into a swirling cyclone. Altogether it was an astonishing sight. After a few more intense minutes, their legs reached solid earth, and Erase, in half a heartbeat, spiraled down as one swirling wind, and vanished with a small thud back into her card from. Smoke still filled the air around them, and for a long time the trio could see nothing of their spoils. As the ground began to become visible again, Yue scooped the even more weakened (though none the less enthusiastic) Cerberus back into his arms, and gratefully allowed Clow to help him to his feet. Though too far away to see—and blocked by fading smoke even if it had been closer—noises were beginning to be heard from the direction of Lightwater. Far away though the village was, the distinct sound of raise voices and banging doors was now clearly audible over the horizon, and a kind of warm swept over the men which transcended far beyond the vanishing snow alone.
"We'd better go." Clow murmured, failing to cover up a slight smile as he heard the distinct sounds of life coming from the little town over the hill. Without a moment to spare, he climbed up onto the back of Hawkins' proud chestnut. "Afraid we'll all be a bit cozy up here, but it will have to do." For the first time, Yue hesitated to accept Clow's over as he extended a hand to help both boys onto the horse behind him, the thought of how little he had on uncomfortably apparent. After only a brief moment's pause, however, he awkwardly took Clow's arm and as gracefully (and decently) as he could muster, swung his legs around to sit directly behind Clow. He looked incredibly flustered all the way home, at least as far as Cerberus, whom Yue was apparently trying to use as a buffer between himself and the older man, surmised.
* * *
By the time darkness fell upon Reed Manor again, it was to a house once again occupied by its three usual magicians: all utterly exhausted. Quite in contrast to the scene of utter chaos both the boys and master alike had experienced respectively through the previous hours, the view of the high sitting room was the picture of warmth and comfort. Sitting high on the second floor, the ground below them was a mercifully warmer wood, and the windows which lined all the walls pure glass behind their crimson curtains. A roaring fire crackled in the ornate gate which seemed to dominate the room, and both of the room's cushiest red-patterned chairs were now snuggled as close to it as they could get without catching fire. In one of these sat the tall and imposing wizard Clow Reed, his unkempt hair combed down a bit now, and drying untied about his ears so that it hung in limp waves along his face and shoulders. Across from him sat the young leonine cub, Cerberus Reed, who was no larger than a medium-sized dog, curled up so that his nose almost touched his back feet. Both of his front paws, curled underneath him, could be little seen at this moment, but nevertheless showed the careful bandaging which had been done upon them earlier in the evening once the family had returned to their warm home. Cerberus wasn't focused on his frostbitten toes or bandaged paws at the moment, though, for while the rest of his body showed every sign of tiredness, his bright yellow eyes were focused pensively on the flickering flame before him. Behind them both, on the far side of the large ornate rug which sat between the men, a long pale ruby-colored chaise longue (which usually sat by the windows by the old grand piano) had been moved so as to also catch the heat of the roaring fire. Across its slightly faded velvet surface, the third inhabitant of the manor, Yue Reed, lay collapsed across it his blistered and frostbitten fingers still dangling into a bowl of slightly warm water. He was considerably drier now in an old grayish dressing gown of Clow's which clashed awkwardly with his pale complexion, and was in many places far too big for him. It wrinkled visibly to rhythm with his slower breath, and trailed far past the end of his legs onto the floor where it joined his long cascade of silvery hair. A soft burgundy throw slithered its way across his back from the top of the chaise, and shimmered enticingly in the glowing firelight. He was obviously fast asleep. This was quite a comfort to Cerberus, who glanced in his little brother's direction before at last turning his attention away from the fire and towards the sorcerer sitting opposite him. There was something that needed to be said, and Yue couldn't be around to hear it.
"Clow." The lion's voice seemed to echo across the stunningly silent room.
Unable to claim deafness, the wizard looked up, his long hair shifting oddly around his face, and met his elder 'child's gaze. "Yes, Cerberus?" he murmured politely.
"Clow," He took one more glance at Yue to ensure that he was truly asleep, "I don't care how mad you are at me, but don't blame Yue for this."
Clow raised a curious eyebrow beneath his glasses, making his appearance seem even stranger. "I never said I was blaming anybody, Cerberus. I doubt highly either of you could have caused a blizzard, at least… not yet. " (He too glanced momentarily toward his other son, but Cerberus seemed not to notice.)
"You know what I mean!" Cerberus snarled somewhat angrily, "You left Yue in charge of the house when you left, but none of this was his fault! I ran away on my own!
"I know what you're gonna say," he continued, clearly voicing something which had been tormenting him since Clow had arrived home earlier in the day. "That Yue should have noticed me leaving, that he should have been watching me or something! But that's just ridiculous! It's not like you follow me around all day! That'd be a stupid thing to expect! He did take care of me; he came to check on me the instant the storm hit, that's how he knew I was gone so soon! He ran out into a blizzard to find me! He saved my life out there! He could have died trying to save me! And in the cave—in the cave…" But Cerberus's rant died there. In the cave, he'd been… different. But how? What could he say? The little leonine creature just seemed unable to find the words.
"Cerberus," Clow whispered, and the confused cub realized that he'd left his seat by the fire and was now kneeling before his own, their eyes almost level. "I told you, I'm not blaming anybody." He laughed slightly, "What do you want me to do, Cerberus, punish you?" For a moment, Cerberus laughed weakly too, recalling his previous existence as a leaf-raker. Then Clow leaned in closer, his tone much more serious. "If anything, I'm glad to see you two getting along so much better. It's a far way away from killing each other like you were before. You were both worried for the other out there in the wilderness. Yue was terrified when he found you gone, clearly because he didn't plan his rescue as well as he might have normally. And for you to use your magic…" Cerberus shuddered, he did not want to tell Clow about his dreams, "You must have been terrified as well. Why, Cerberus?"
"The cold does weird things, Clow."
"Well said." The magician whispered, softest of all, and to Cerberus's relief, he did not press the subject, but settled back into his high-backed chair.
Perhaps someday, the small beast thought, he would tell Clow of the things he had seen in the cave, or of the morbid and meditative contemplations that had come to him in those hours, but not now. There was, however, one more thing weighing on his mind. "Clow." He began again. Clow sat up a little straighter to show he was listening. "There's… something else." Hesitantly, Cerberus paused, debating how best to go about asking this. But looking up into Clow's intent and encouraging face, he decided he could go ahead and ask directly. "Clow, you're the only heir to all this Reed family magic and property and stuff right?"
Clow seemed slightly surprised by his elder son's question, but replied none the less. "Yes, Cerberus, that's right."
"And," Cerberus glanced back towards Yue, praying Clow would not see. "And you're probably not—getting married or anything, right?"
Clow's eyes narrowed slightly, having indeed caught Cerberus's nervous back glance, and well aware of the implied discussion here. "I don't think so." He replied a bit more carefully.
"So then, if something were to happen to you, who would—you know…"
"Succeed me?" Clow asked, less defensive now with this slightly sager topic. "I suppose it would have to be one of you two. And you would be the eldest, Cerberus, so…"
"No." Cerberus shot curtly, again taking his companion by surprise. "Not me, Clow, never make me the heir. I don't want it, I couldn't handle it. I could never run this household. Not me." Nodding his head toward his slumbering sibling, he finished, boldly. "It should be Yue."
Clow looked flustered, rubbing his temples as if bothered by a sudden headache. After a long and uncomfortable silence, he at last said. "Alright. For now, we'll leave it there. I doubt," he whispered, as if truly buried in thoughts and emotions Cerberus could not recognize. "I doubt it will matter anytime soon anyway." With that he got up from his chair, not nearly as jolly as he had seemed earlier. Normally, Cerberus's poor understanding of the world would have urged him to brush it off. But he understood Clow's sudden darkness perfectly this time. Now, he knew exactly what was going on in his house—and he would never envy his brother again.
As Clow scooped Yue into his arms, and headed for the towards the boys' shared bedroom to lay him down, he paused. "Cerberus, I don't know what you may think, or have seen during your little adventure," He said plainly, his back to Cerberus and his face hidden. "But I will never hurt him." Both men well aware they were speaking of the young man in his arms.
"Yes." Cerberus replied just as darkly, just as ominous and curtly. "You will."
Clow strode out of the room and shut the door with a bang.
* * *
That night, Cerberus lay for the first time in a long while in his own warm and comfy bed. He snuggled deeply into his covers, and laid down against his thick, fluffy pillow, but before he turned to go to sleep, he cast one more glance toward his little brother slumbering in the bed beside him. Images of his last and final prophetic dream in the cave flooded through his mind. A much older boy with long silver hair, a great ginger beast where an out of proportion cub had once been, and a lovely young woman with short brown hair…
There would be pain, he knew it. He knew what he had seen in the far future—Yue's far future—and it was obvious.
Clow and Yue would never be together.
… No matter what either would have liked to believe.
AN: Again, I'll make this short since that was so long. I really didn't want to split it into two chapters though. Let me know whether you guys prefer short or long chapters so I can try and keep it within a range everyone likes. I'm already started on the next chapter, so it shouldn't take nearly as long as this one. Oh yeah, there was supposed to be one more section where Hawkins' situation was expanded upon, but I was afraid for length, so I'll explain his situation better in subsequent chapters, I promise. Please keep reviewing!