A week passed by in a blink of an eye, and Ren wondered just where the time flew.
They had come upon a small but bustling trade city in Central China, near the border of Tibet and India. Large, looming mountains covered in white enclosed one side of the town, and with a strong gust of wind, would send a flurry of snow down on the town even if the skies were clear. Yu had looked up with his signature frown, but his eyes were somber and muted. He stayed silent the entire way to the local inn, even when Marie quietly asked him if he was OK.
He didn't answer, but tore his eyes away from the heavens to direct them down at the road instead, a thunderous look on his face.
Ren decided to refrain from asking, but winced when she felt his negative energy almost skyrocket. Did he...hate the sky or something? Was it the snow? Could it be due to what had happened in his past? He had never decided to elaborate on himself, or even decide on a name that he was comfortable with. He was still "Yu" to them, as much as he hated hearing it.
Maybe she was too nosy, so she used her being a Miko as an excuse to figure him out. She still wondered just how exactly he had recovered from the Akuma virus. It wasn't humanly possible without some sort of special power or blessing, from what she knew at least.
But he was still willing to learn, even if he did have some trouble. On the road, she would point at things and say their names in Japanese, such as the sky, trees, ground, squirrels, boars, etc. He'd listen and repeat them under his breath, but he struggled to really understand how to string a sentence together. She had actually asked him if he had any Japanese influences before in his life, but he would get this murderous look on his face and turn away, telling her to "fuck off" and that it was none of her business what his life had been like before he joined Tiedoll two months ago.
She had to constantly remind herself that she had to be patient and not to blow up at him, even though his words cut her like a knife. After spending a few days with him, she knew not to take his words too deeply, but still.
It didn't help that he kept staring at her too, or rather, around her.
Yu would look at everything with a narrowed gaze, as if there was something constantly within his vision that he couldn't stand. When his mood was especially foul, he would stare directly at her, and given how she didn't want to anger him further, she said nothing about it. But it did make her a little self conscious. Did he stare at her because she was pretty? Ugly? Calming? Maybe he could see auras and found hers soothing?
She didn't ask because she wanted him to tell her himself without her prompting him, but it was getting ridiculous. Not only would he stare at her while they traveled, but he would continue when they would make camp, when she prepared food for everyone, when she went to sleep first because the men around her kept coddling her and gave her the latest and therefore shortest shift.
Once, he tried to follow her while she went to bathe and wouldn't take a hint.
"Um...Yu-kun," She started nervously as she watched him watch her, her hands on the buttons of her cheongsam. "I'm going to bathe..." She hinted. They hadn't seen a lake for two days and she was desperate to get clean. Not as bad as when she was stuck on a boat with Cross for 5 days, but just about.
He just stared at her with those defying eyes of his and crossed his arms. "What if an Akuma attacks? You're going to be vulnerable."
She gave him a blank look. Was he serious..? "Not exactly..." She replied slowly. "I do have some barrier spells to protect myself, long enough to get my bow." Which was right at the edge of the lake at an easy grabbing distance. "I'm a girl, you know. And you're a boy."
"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Yu retorted as serious as a rock. "We look the same age."
Ren was aghast. He wasn't even joking. "I...It's improper for a girl and a boy to see each other like this!" Especially at their age, and especially before marriage! Her body, though undeveloped, shouldn't be defiled like this! "Can you just...go back to camp? I promise I'll be fine on my own and you don't have to protect me."
He furrowed his brows and looked away. "But the lotuses..." He whispered.
She blinked. Lotuses? Did he mean her?
Before she could ask, a looming shadow with shining demonic eyes appeared behind him and picked him up by the scruff of his cheongsam. "What are you doing here, brat?" Cross asked threateningly with a dangerous grin. "Don't you know not to peak on women? Hm?"
"Hey-!" Yu struggled in his grasp but couldn't get out of it. "I-I just wanted to make sure there were no Akuma!" He lied, a red hue overtaking his scowling face.
"Hoo, I can hear the excuses you're cooking up in your brain." The general mocked, turning around to head back to camp with his new luggage over his shoulder. "Renren, don't take too long!"
"Let go of me!" The Japanese boy yelled, pounding his small fists against his back.
He hadn't gone that far since due to both Cross and Tiedoll lecturing him on the dos and don'ts when it came to the opposite sex, but still his eyes continued to stray to her. The only time she didn't mind was when she was teaching him Japanese. It was strange because the way he pronounced some words sounded like a westerner's. As if he had no concept of how the Japanese language worked. If he didn't look Japanese, Ren would think he was a westerner of some sort like Cross or Tiedoll.
Stopping in front of the inn, Cross sighed in relief. "Finally, civilization with a warm bed and more importantly, some women."
Tiedoll sighed deeply with a pained look. "Marian, you're far too indulging in your own pleasures. You should learn to appreciate the natural beauty of the world."
"I am, though." Cross retorted. "I'm about to find some beautiful women."
"What about payment?" Ren asked, tugging at her Miko sleeve. "I don't think we have enough money..."
Her master turned to her with a mischievous grin, making her instantly wary. "That's where you come in, Renren."
"The hell are you planning?" Yu challenged, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
Before Cross could answer though, the innkeeper opened the doors and welcomed them in. "Welcome, welcome travelers!" He greeted them in Cantonese. "How many beds and for how long will you stay?"
"Five beds with baths." Cross ordered. "And it's only for one night."
"Wonderful!" The innkeeper quickly wrote them down in his guest book. "Your total is 50 silver. If you're using guineas then it'll be 12 guinea. How would you like to pay?"
"Actually..." Cross grinned slyly before gently pushing Ren toward the counter, her with a puzzled frown on her face. "Why don't I offer you this? This girl is a fully fledged priestess from a faraway land, trained in dispelling evil and lingering spirits. The reason why we stopped here for the night is because she sensed a vengeful spirit in this very building."
The innkeeper sputtered. "What? That's preposterous!"
"Is it?" The general asked firmly. "Has there been no signs of ill will? Perhaps rotting food when they were no where close to expiring, or the drinking water turning brown even though you know you stored it correctly."
His face turned pale and he muttered to himself. "Th-That time the vase broke into a million pieces but no one touched it, and my jade bracelet..." He brushed against his wrist where they could see a strip of skin there was paler than the rest of him. "Then what do I do?!" He cried out. "If there's a evil demon haunting my inn, I have to do something immediately!"
"And this is where Ren comes in." Cross bragged, knowing he had the upper hand now. "She can purify your inn and prevent any more evil spirits from coming near here, leaving it safe for you and your guests. We just need a place for tonight and you'll come out of this with a lifetime of secured prosperity."
"Done!" The innkeeper immediately accepted and bowed to the young girl. "Let me show you to your rooms and the young priestess can get to work!"
"Yup!" Cross grinned innocent-like if not triumphantly. "Her sacred duty and stuff." When the innkeeper bent down to grab their room keys, he turned to the rest of their group and gave them a thumbs up. "Looks like we don't have to pay."
"Shishou..." Ren began slowly, looking at him wide-eyed. "I'm not sure I heard right since it was all in Cantonese, but did you just..."
"Sell her services in exchange for room and board?" Marie finished, a look of disbelief on his face. Tiedoll and Yu stood behind him with the former's face slowly turning red from indignation.
The redhead shrugged. "Hey, we get a free night at the best inn in town and all Ren has to do is slap some sutras around and sprinkle some salt." He patted her head. "I knew you were good for something." He cooed. "If I can't sell your Miko abilities, then I can advertise you as a musician. You play the koto, right? They have something similar here in China."
Placing her face in her hands, Ren breathed out a long suffering sigh. "Shishou..." She had an inkling this would happen. Back when they stayed with Anita, some of the girls had worked overtime for the entirety of their stay, probably because her master drank and ate like a king without the riches of one. And now he's found a meal ticket in her. "How did you even know this place would have evil spirits?"
"I bullshitted it." He stated matter-of-factly. Behind him, Tiedoll could be heard facepalming.
"Oi..." Yu elbowed her side, ignoring her squeak of pain. "Aren't you going to object to this shit?"
"Your rooms are ready!" The innkeeper chirped, gesturing for them to follow him. "Unfortunately, we only have four rooms, but I'm sure the two girls can share!"
Immediately, Ren covered her mouth. "Pff..." Did she hear that right?
"What?" Yu asked curiously, his ponytail falling over one shoulder. He had kept it up since she had tied it for him since it was easier to fight with it like this. "What did he say?"
The innkeeper gave Cross, Tiedoll, and Marie their own rooms, before gesturing to the last one. "And here you go, Ms. Priestess! Please start soon, OK?" He bowed again before skipping toward the front desk, leaving Yu and Ren to stare at their shared room for the night. It had the typical Chinese style lattice windows and walls, and the floors were a smooth dark wood. Two raised beds were situated in the back behind a sheer curtain, and the sitting area featured a writing desk, a few chairs, and a small dining table.
"...Oh." Yu uttered with a red face. "What the fuck."
Sighing, Ren walked in and dropped her pack. "It's just for one night, Yu-kun." She consoled, taking a seat at the writing table where ink and paper had already been prepared for her.
"Don't call me that." He snapped with no anger, and walked up behind her. "What are you doing?"
"If we're staying here because I'm to purify this place of evil spirits, then I may as well do it." She answered absentmindedly. Holding her sleeve back with one hand, she gripped the brush and gently dipped it into the ink, letting the fibers soak up the black liquid. She hadn't done this in a long while, since Anita's actually.
Taking a deep breath, she dragged the brush down in one stroke, and without lifting the brush, swiveled it left, down, right, in a square, and down once more, completing one sutra of protection. Pushing the finished one to the side, she drew another, and another, until she had a desk full of sutras. Yu watched quietly behind her, his eyes tracing over how her small hand could write all of this without wasting even a drop of ink, or even messing up.
Exhaling, Ren placed the brush down. "There. I'll let them dry for a few minutes before going around to apply them."
"So...These actually work?" He asked skeptically. "It's not just some hoax to con the innkeeper?"
"I'm sure that's what Shishou intended," Ren grumbled. "But yes, they work. I'm not sure if this place truly does have any negative auras around, I would have to meditate to make sure, but it couldn't hurt putting these up." She gestured to her finished sutras. "These are the kanji for protection and purification. Would you like to learn?"
Yu scoffed and turned his back to her to plop down on a empty chair, hugging Mugen tightly to his person. "What would I need to know them for? It's not like I'm gonna be a priest or whatever."
She deflated, crestfallen. "Oh...Then," An idea came to her. "How about your name?"
He immediately scowled. "What about it?"
Ren tilted her head. "You hate when we call you "Yu," so...Let's think up another name. Shishou told me that all exorcists members need to have a first name and a surname."
Though he still frowned, there was genuine intrigue in it. Instead of waiting for him, she placed down a fresh piece of paper and wrote the multiple different kanjis for "Yu" on them. "Depending on how your name is written, it could have different meanings." She explained, smiling when he moved his chair closer to see. "This one means excellence, superiority, or gentleness."
"Che..."
"This one," She pointed to the next one. "Means distant or leisurely, so the person could be described by their name as someone who keeps to their own way. This one means masculinity. Friend. Assistance. This one," She pointed to the last kanji. "Means bravery."
He rested his head against his palm. "So?" He asked tensely. "A name is just a name. I didn't choose this." He glanced away for a moment, his blue eyes darkening to a midnight hue. "I didn't choose anything..."
"Then let's have you choose your new name." Ren smiled softly. "It's entirely up to you this time." He can keep his secrets. All she wanted was to help him find a little peace, and if a new name could help with that, then she was more than happy to contribute to it.
He stared at her and around her, his eyes catching sight of something that she couldn't see, and slowly nodded. "OK."
She beamed, happy that he had finally accepted her help. "All right, let's try thinking some up." She hummed in thought. "How about Akiyama? It means autumn hill."
"No."
"Ishikawa? It means stone river."
"Hell no."
"Oshiro? Great castle."
"Eh..."
Ren sighed and put her brush down. "All right, why don't you tell me what defines you then?" It would be better than her just rattling off several names only for him to reject it.
Yu blinked. "Defines me..?"
"What is one trait about yourself that describes you well?" She asked. "It can be anything. It can be your strength in battle, your taste in food, a location you like, how you feel about your place in the world. Anything and everything that is connected to you."
He looked down at his hands, the skin as smooth and flawless as ever even after wielding a sword for months, years. They held no blemishes, not a single callous or scar, and he clenched them tightly. "...I feel like God is laughing at me." He muttered lowly, inclining his head so that his bangs shadowed his eyes from her gaze. "I feel like I'm nothing but something to be manipulated. A weapon to be pointed toward the enemy without any regards to himself. I..." He growled, lips pulled back in snarl. "I'm only alive right now because he- they want something from me. That's it. That's all I was created to be."
He suddenly stood up, knocking back his chair with a thump, and paced around the plain but well kept room. "This is stupid." He berated himself. "Why the fuck do I care about this shit?"
Taken aback, Ren stared at him in shock. Is that really how he felt..? That his existence was just a fleeting fancy from the gods? Everyone was born with their own paths ordained by the gods, yes, but...They were human for a reason. And humans are best known to create their own paths in life.
She may be a servant of Amaterasu-sama, but it didn't mean that was all she was. She was also an exorcist, a healer, a young girl who liked dancing and playing music. She was Saitou Ren. And Yu, who was so in pain and embroiled in his anger for being born against his will and put through something traumatic by the gods...
For being a plaything of God...
"Kanda."
He looked up at her. "What?" He bit out.
"Kanda." Ren repeated softly. "Mitoshiro. Holy Field of the Gods. A place that is nourished and taken care of to be gifted to the gods."
"Gifted to the gods..." He repeated before chuckling bitterly and sitting back down on his discarded chair. "How fucking fitting..."
They sat in silence for a few moments, him looking around aimlessly and pausing at certain spots of the room before turning his gaze back to her and around her. "...Kanda Yu." He uttered quietly. "Does it work?"
Smiling softly, Ren nodded. "If that is what you choose." Picking up her brush once more, she wrote down 神田ユウ. "Kanda Yu. Let's leave your first name as just the sounds."
"Fine by me." The newly named Kanda shrugged. "Since we're talking about names...What does yours mean? Being all 'traditionally Japanese.'" He quoted mockingly, though she could tell he wasn't being mean spirited.
Ren wrote down her name 斎藤蓮. "My family name means purification of wisteria. Wisterias in Japan symbolize immortality, and my shrine actually has a wisteria tree that is over 600 years old." She hoped it was still there, along with her grandfather. She hoped he was well enough to take care of everything on his own for now. One day, when she was stronger, she would go back to save him and their town. "It's fitting because my family line has always been with the shrine."
"So you're born into servitude?" Kanda snorted, leaning back in his chair. "Guess we're more alike than I thought..." He didn't elaborate any more on it and Ren let it slide. He had already revealed more to her in an hour than he had the entire week they had known one another.
"Not really. I told this to you already, but I wasn't devout whatsoever before my Miko ceremony." Ren reminded him. "I followed the same customs, but that was because I grew up with it. It was more about tradition than religion."
"And now?" He raised a brow. "Since you claim your amaterasu saved you."
"Now...It's still more about tradition." She giggled at his confused face. "Whether I pray to her or not, or I practice my sutras," She gestured to the table full of dried sutras. "Or even if I stray and retire from being a Miko, I would still hold it close to my heart because it means home. When I pray to her, I pray because of the people around me, not because of her. My sutras are for protecting humans, not gods. Being a Miko means carrying my culture with me, and trying to really understand the world."
Kanda stared at her with his brows furrowed in confusion. "Wouldn't Amaterasu get mad at you?"
Ren raised a brow. "That would mean the entire world would be mad at me. Amaterasu-sama isn't really a god like your biblical God, she's more just a representation of what she governs. If she was mad at me, that would mean the sun, heaven, and the universe was mad at me, and that just doesn't make sense. Emotions don't translate into higher beings like her. She just Is." She tapped her chin. "Does that make sense? You don't worship a god or goddess like that, it's more about respecting the world around you."
"So...Let me get this straight," He scrunched up his face and tried to make sense of it all. "You're telling me the gods and goddesses from your home aren't a man and a woman with powers like God, but more like...everything that has life? So doesn't that mean a tree could be a god?"
She nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly! A tree, a river, the ocean, the ground, the sky, the air...Anything that is alive or provides life can be considered kami."
"...Right." Kanda sighed and held a hand to his head. "So what does your first name mean?"
"Hm?"
"You only explained your last name." He explained irritably. "Saitou meaning purification of wisteria. So what does Ren mean?"
She hovered her finger over the kanji, tracing a shape that the character had derived from, forming a 6 petaled flower. "It means lotus."
He jerked his head up to stare at her with wide eyes. "What..?" They darted around her, as if trying to seek out something. Something that she couldn't see herself. His breathing began to pick up, his chest inflating and deflating faster than usual.
Ren tilted her head. "It means lotus." She repeated softly. "One who strives for enlightenment. I suppose it fits me in a way."
Collapsing against the back of his chair, he held a hand to his eyes and began chuckling. The sound was bitter and weary, and her heart twinged uncomfortably. "Of fucking course it's lotus..." He breathed out in defeat. "They won't leave me alone..."