Hope you enjoy this chapter! Enjoy and remember review!
-Rachel:
I make my way down the hallway to my room in the hell hotel, just one more time than you get a few months to yourself, I remind myself as I take a breath. I've only been awake for a while, I blacked out after I had fainted after the Games ended. I clench my fists together again thinking how there is no victor. Damn the Capital, damn them to hell. I go knock slowly on the door, I could just walk in, but I don't. Maybe one day they won't answer and I can leave without being used.
The door opens, the face grins slyly down at me. My eyes widen as I look him over, a cast on his arm. I feel my heart racing, my jaw dropped. He puts his arm around me and pulls me inside.
"I missed you baby" Zapher tells me softly, than he knees me in the stomach. "Good thing your friend can't help you now".
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I've learned my lesson from Zapher, so I don't get out of bed later. He grins at me when he sees I'm still in his arms. His cast didn't keep him from beating me, if anything, it made it worse. He comes closer and kisses me again, "good girl" he croons.
"Can, can I go now?" I ask carefully
He kisses me again, than pushes me off the bed and I go crashing to the floor. I hear my wrist crack slightly; I bit my lip in pain. Zapher comes over and sees me holding it gently. He gets up, and slams his foot down, driving down on my wrist. Shattering most of the bones in it. He grinds it into the floor as I scream in pain. He looks down at me gently, "Now you can go" I nod and get up and dress carefully, wincing whenever my clothes touched my wrist. I'm about to leave when Zapher spins me around again, he slams his lips to mine. Then he strokes my face softly, "see you in a few months" I turn and leave, still cradling my wrist. As I step out of the hallway Chaff's words come back to me …but if you get seriously hurt, if you get a bone broken, I'm telling.. I look to my wrist, hey, it's not broken, it's shattered.
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Shit. That's what goes through my mind as I walk into the dining area and Chaff, Seeder, Seier, Johanna, Beetee, and Woof are there. Immediately Chaff and Seeder's eyes lock on my wrist, which I'm holding carefully in front of me, it dangles down loosely.
"Hi everyone" I mumble as I quicken my pace to the elevator. I yelp as a hand catches my arm, I turn, it's Chaff.
"Show me" he commands, I hold out my wrist to him, he barely touches it and I yelp in pain. His face goes grave. "Can you move it?" I shake my head slightly. "Follow me" he says as he pulls me down the hallway. Crap, I'm in big trouble.
Ten minutes later some medical staff has given me a custom brace to wear on my wrist, it doesn't hurt as much, well, I wouldn't know. I can't feel it; I had some pill that numbs my wrist until it heals. Now Chaff squats down so I have to look him in the eyes. "Remember our deal?" he asks. Sadly, I do remember. I nod, "Come on then, it'll be like pulling off a band aid, tell him nice and quick"
Oh yes I'm sure as hell going to walk up to Haymitch and be like, Oh you want to know why I really have been moving stiffly around and all hurt and going to Finnick? It's because Snow is forcing me to be a Capital whore and you wouldn't understand only Finnick does and that's why I go to him. And if I don't do it then he'll kill or hurt you or Gale or Katniss or Peeta's family. Or any other victor. Yeah that's NOT going to happen.
Chaff takes me up to Haymitches room, we knock on the door and wait for him to answer. Haymitch's eye's narrow at us. "What's going on?" he asks, he eyes my brace.
"She needs to tell you what's been going on, I've known, but, it's gone too far now without you knowing." I've never heard Chaff talk like this, he sounds, responsible.
"Sit and tell me, now" my father orders me. I go and sit on the bed, my feet dangling down, not touching the floor. Chaff stands in the corner of the room, giving my father and I privacy for each other, but so he can step in if he needs too. Haymitch stands in front of me.
"First off, promise not to interrupt me?" I ask.
"Promise,"
I take a shaky breath and close my eyes.
"Like a band aid" Chaff murmurs from the corner, I nod.
"I'm not, pure, anymore" I say softly. Haymitch doesn't understand.
"Pure?"
"I'm a whore" I snap, Haymitch puts his hands on my shoulders.
"No, you're not, you can't say that, you haven't even," he stops his sentence, trying not to make this awkward. Well too bad, this conversation is going nowhere but awkward.
"No, I've done that, a lot, I"
"WHAT!" Haymitch bursts out, "HOW COULD YOU? YOU, WHO? WHA? FINNICK!" Haymitch explodes.
"No, he doesn't hurt me, Snow, he, he did what he does to Finnick to me." I continue after Chaff comes in and calms my father down a little bit.
"Snow what?"
"He sold her Haymitch, that's where she goes every night, she doesn't have a choice." Chaff saves me from having to say the words myself. Haymitch's eyes widen as he stares at me, I can't hold his gaze, so I look down at my wrist.
"Did they? Hurt you?"
I nod, "Show him." Chaff instructs me. I do as I'm told and show Haymitch the purple bruises, the scars, the cuts, and the new black bruises. "One shattered her wrist tonight, that's what the brace is for." Chaff explains.
"I need to stop this." Haymitch says as he stands.
"No," I say, Haymitch looks at me like I'm insane, which, I am. "You can't they'll hurt someone else. They whipped Gale the other day, because I kissed Finnick. They punished him because of me" I choke out.
After that I let Chaff do all the talking, only putting in details when needed. He tells my dad how Snow has threatened me, how only one boy was using me at first. He leaves out the Finnick part, only saying the boy got injured, than says how I got a break for a while. Then things started back up again. "She must've broken her wrist tonight." He concludes. Haymitch just nods, he's sitting in a chair, his hands are limp, hanging between his legs. He looks up slowly at me.
"Does, does Finnick have anything to do with this?" he asks, obviously thinking how I always went to him when I got back at night. I nod, "Can you tell me?" he pleads.
"He's been, helping me out. He always let me come and talk to him, since he's been through it before too. Than one night Zapher had brought some of his friends over, to, to try me out. I ran downstairs and yelled in Zapher's face. Finn was there, he beat Zapher up, when Zapher was abusing me right in the lobby. For the next few nights Finnick had bought me. So I wouldn't have to do anything, so I could be safe." I explain.
I'm not surprised by Haymitch's next question, "Did you and Finnick?" he asks cautiously.
"Finnick helped me."
"But did you?" he repeats. Slowly I nod.
"I love Finnick, and he loves me, he didn't hurt me, he never would, he helped, the last few times weren't as bad." I explain. Haymitch is shaking his head now, than, he gets up and wraps his arms around me. I return his hug.
"Go to sleep, we get to go home in the morning." He smiles at me, I return it.
"They won't let me see him anymore, I'm not allowed." I say, referring to Finnick.
"I'm going to go talk to him now." He tells me softly. "Good night sweetheart."
"Haymitch, I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm a killer, a murderer." I say, he strokes the hair out of my face.
"You're still my little girl, no matter what happens."
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-Haymitch:
I tell Chaff to go to bed; I can handle myself when I talk to Finnick. So I stand outside his door, alone, on the fourth floor. My world's been turned upside down. I had no idea what was going on with my daughter, no idea the suffering she was going through. And now, I don't know if I should hug Finnick when he answers the door or beat the shit outta him. When he does answer, I just stand there, searching his eyes for anything that I could be mad at him about. He slept with my daughter, yeah, but he was helping. He loves her, she loves him, I can't really change that. So I just grasp his shoulder.
"Thank you"
"For what?" he asks a little pissed at me.
"Helping her, through everything." I explain, I see it click in his head and he stands aside so I can come inside the room.
"It's nothing, but I don't get, why won't you let her see me?" he asks confused. I sigh.
"I'd gladly let her see you now, since you're the only one who can really help her with this. But I'm not the one keeping her from seeing you. It's Snow. He told her that if she sees you she'll be punished. Since you kissed her to get her to shut up the other day they whipped one of her best friends back home."
Finnick is silent for a long time, his eyes closed and fists wrenched together. I can hear his breathing and guess he's trying to calm himself down. Finally he looks me in the eyes, "I love her"
"I know, and I don't think you know how much she loves you." Why am I telling him this? I don't know, I guess it's my fatherly stuff kicking in, telling him this, making sure that he won't leave her. Finnick puts his hands on my shoulders.
"I need to see her; I need to before we all leave in the morning." He pleads. I shake my head, "Okay" I mouth, there's cameras here too.
"Where? Peacekeepers are everywhere." I mouth, they can't be spotted if they meet.
"Dust cavern, tell her that, she knows that." He whispers, I nod slowly. Then, Finnick hugs me. It's awkward, but not as much as I'd thought it'd be. Not that I ever thought of Finnick Odair hugging me or anything.
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-Rachel:
I'm still awake when Haymitch comes in my room, he sits on the bed.
"Go to the dust cavern, just, be back before we leave." Haymitch tells me. Dust cavern? Dust cavern? Oh! Dust cavern! It's the attic in the library! It's so dusty up there one time Finnick called it a dust cavern. I wrap my arms around Haymitch before I jump out of bed and literally sprint down the hallway, still in my pajamas.
Luckily Seeder tosses me a jacket that I catch with my good hand, when she sees I'm heading outside. Apparently they figured out where I'm going. "Have fun!" Seeder tells me with a smile.
"Oh course I will!" I smile at her before I pull the jacket's hood over my head and hurry my way through the still crowded streets of the Capital. It doesn't take me long at all to reach library. Finnick's here, and I can see him, I can talk to him. There are no cameras in the library, no peacekeepers. It's a library, they don't need peacekeepers here. And almost no one goes up to our dust cavern.
I stop at the top of the stairs when I see Finnick, sitting on the couch, his face in his hands.
"Finn." I call softly, his head snaps up and his eyes come alive. "You're not just going to sit there are you?" I ask when he doesn't even stand up. "I can't even feel my wrist, they numbed it, promise." I smile, with that he gets up and soon I'm in his arms. I feel his lips on my neck, warm and loving.
"Missed you" he whispers
"You too Finn, you keep me sane"
He draws back and looks at me questioningly.
"I'd be dead without you Finn, I'd go insane"
"Guess I'll just have to keep you sane," he grins
"Guess so." I whisper before he kisses me, I feel my good hand go through his hair. Finnick's kiss gets stronger; I don't even feel him pick me up. But soon he's holding me in his arms and my own are around his neck. After our make-out session Finnick puts his forehead on mine, he laughs softly. "What?" I ask him.
"I can't believe I've ever thought of you as my little sister."
"Ya, what do you think of me now?" I ask.
"Beautiful, wonderful, perfect."
I kiss him again. "What are we going to do?" I ask
"About what?"
"Over the next few months, we can't call; they'll tap into the conversations."
"Ya, let's make the most of now, than just hold on till we see each other again, and I'll be thinking of you constantly."
"Okay."
Finnick kisses me again and I lean into him, he sits down on the old dusty couch and pulls me closer to him.
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The next morning I wake up in my bed in the tower. I already said good-bye to Finnick last night, since we can't interact this morning, but I've got to go say bye to everyone else. I walk into the dining area, my bags are all packed and on their way home already, so I go and hug Johanna.
"Stay strong kid okay?" she whispers
"I will." I promise her.
Than I say goodbye to the others: Beetee, Wiress, Ceier, Chaff, Seeder, Woof, Abril (from district nine), and Titus (the only nice victor from district one). I lock eyes with Finnick for a second, than I look away, only to see Haymitch and Ceier saying goodbye. Then Haymitch puts his arms around my shoulders, we wave our last goodbyes and make our way to the hanger to board an aircraft to take us home.
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We touch down in Twelve only three hours later. I don't even go in the house, I need to see Gale, I need to apologize to him. I go straight for the woods; he'll be in there, most likely with Katniss. Sure enough, when I go to our usually meeting spot, there is a pile of three rabbits there. Gale and Katniss aren't there; most likely they dropped these off here and went to check to remainder of their nearby snare line. I take a knife out of my back pocket and place a rabbit on my lap. I start to skin it with one hand, I've skinned thousands of rabbits, I used to come into the woods myself, alone. When I got back I went a few times with Gale and Katniss. Usually it bothers me, skinning the animals, but now I don't give a crap at all. I've changed so much, let's see, who am I?
My name is Rachel Abernathy. My adopted father is Haymitch; he's a drunk and a victor. I'm a victor. I was going to marry Peeta Mellark. He had saved my life. I loved him. He's dead now. It's mostly my fault. I'm mentally unstable. I'm a murderer. I'm a killer. I'm a Capital whore because victor's always get punished. I'm sixteen years old. Now I love Finnick. Peeta said I'm allowed to love Finnick. I should be dead; I should be dead because I spoke out against the Capital. They punished Gale instead. Gale was hurt, it was my fault. He probably still is hurt.
Hey, that means he won't be hunting, he'll be at home. I stare at the rabbit in my hand, so that also means. Katniss is doing the hunting for both of their families alone right now. As I come to this Katniss appears from the woods, two other rabbits on her belt. She stops dead and stares at me, eyes the rabbit in my lap, eyes my wrist.
"Your boyfriend hurt you too. Cause he got Gale hurt, or you did." She mocks me. Before she knows whats happening I have her against a tree, the tip of my knife rests on her throat. She eyes the knife, her eyes flaming with fear. "You wouldn't" she snaps. I'm not too surprised, out of the two, Gale and I got together better, Katniss and I just tolerate each other.
"Oh I would, and more, cause you know what? I'm a victor. I'm a killer. I'm a murderer. And you don't know what I've been through; you've never been in the arena. So you don't talk shit about me and Finn, cause we've both been there. Cause we've been punished for making it out. And for your information, I didn't want this to happen to Gale, he's my friend. So don't you say a damn word." I snap at her.
"Okay" she says softly, I think I've honestly scared her. I soften the weight I've been putting on her with my braced arm. I toss the skinned rabbit to her.
"Take it will you?" I snap, than I walk off to find Gale, cleaning my bloody knife on my shirt.
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-Katniss:
Holy shit. What happened to her? Ya I snapped at her about Gale being whipped, because he and I were told what had happened, Darius let it slip out. But I never had seen her like that before. Never thought she could pin me like that, with a broken whatever in her arm. And never had I imagined her holding a knife to my throat and saying she would slit my throat. I guess the Games do change everyone.
Because that wasn't the happy, carefree girl who left for the Games at all. That wasn't even the depressed girl who left to mentor. No, that was someone who's been, or is being, driven to the edge of their mental and emotional limits.