AN: okayyy, sorry for how long this took and how this is really not a very long chapter and I still don't know if I like it 100% but yeah, sorry! thank you so much for everyone still reading this it means the world to me! :)

TW: quite a bit of mentions of suicide

Anger bubbled inside Sebastian. He paced, up and down, his footsteps echoing loudly in the quiet room. It was his fault, wasn't it? His fucking fault. Tears were starting to fall down his face but he was completely unaware of them. Him and his stupid words, had led to this. Had led to that rope.

His breathing was becoming sharp and ragged as the anger, annoyance and sadness welled up inside. How could he have been so ignorant? He swallowed hard, trying to keep down more of the angry tears that threatened to fall. Guilt, nausea and anger threatened to overwhelm him, to engulf him all at once.

He balled his fist into his palm and stopped pacing for a second, trying to regain control of his breath. He could remember his mother's own room, after she had "succeeded". The rope had still been dangling from the ornate bed post. The rope. Always the rope

Memories of the hurt and the anger that had filled him them were starting to take over again.

The rope had just been swinging there blithely, in the early summer sun that filtered into the beautiful Parisian bedroom. Everything looked beautiful apart from that rope.

Sebastian pressed the bottom of his palms into his eyes in an attempt to block out the memories.

'Sebastian?'

He whirled around, staring at the speaker of the voice. It was Kurt bloody Hummel. He was just standing in the door way, his face filled with shock and surprise. Sebastian felt like throwing his hands up in the air out of frustration. He just wanted to be alone.

'Fuck off.' He hated how his voice shook so he took a step closer to Kurt in an attempt to seem more threatening.

Kurt, however, did not move 'I...' A flash of worry flickered across his face before being replaced with determination. 'What's wrong?' Kurt bit his bottom lip when Sebastian's face filled with anger but firmly held Sebastian's gaze and Sebastian could tell he wasn't going to back down.

'Nothing's wrong, why the hell would anything be wrong?' Sebastian snapped, glaring at Kurt.

'Well, I… it's just you seem really pissed about something.'

'Yeah, your whiny little girls face being here,' Sebastian snarled at him, his hands balled in fists.

'I, look, are you okay?' Kurt took a step into the room, the door shutting behind him. The sound reverberated around the room making Sebastian jump.

'I'd be okay if you just took your over hair-sprayed head somewhere else.'

'Are you sure?' Kurt asked, ignoring Sebastian's blatant anger at him.

'I think I'd fucking know if I was pissed or not.'

'Did something happen, do you want to talk about it?' Kurt winced internally at the words but didn't say anything to take them back, he had told himself mere minutes ago that he was going to be more aware of people's problems and help them if he could.

'what are you? Some fucking counsellor?' Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, unsure why Kurt wouldn't just get the fucking idea and leave.

'No,' Kurt took a deep breath. 'But maybe I could get one of your friends and –'

'Oh ha fucking ha, Hummel, yes, let's embarrass me further by mocking me for not having actual friends.'

'I wasn't – ' Kurt started. He had thought Sebastian had a best friend, that other smarmy Slytherin he was always hanging around with.

'No, of course you weren't. You just want me to be happy, don't you?' Sebastian let out a harsh, sarcastic laugh.

'Well I don't exactly enjoy seeing you like this,' Kurt snapped back. 'oh no of course you don't. You wouldn't want to see me – the person whose guts you hate most in the world – unhappy, wouldn't you?'

'oh don't flatter yourself; there are other people higher on my shit list than you.' Kurt was letting his anger take over him.

'oh really, how many? 1? 2 possibly?'

Kurt took a deep breath, trying to control his emotions. 'Sebastian, just because you're an annoying ass doesn't mean I want to see you like this.' Kurt gestured to where Sebastian had been pacing back and forth. 'What's wrong?'

Sebastian glared at him. Before saying, in a voice filled with false humour, 'oh no, there's nothing wrong,' he paused. 'Apart from the fact it was my fault Karofsky tried to commit suicide.'

Kurt was so shocked at this announcement that he couldn't form a reply.

'so don't worry, your hate for me isn't completely unfounded. I'm an ignorant bastard. It was my words. My teasing. My fault that he tried to kill himself.'

He was starting to speak faster and faster, his face screwed up in self loathing. Kurt felt slightly unhinged. He had never seen Sebastian so vulnerable and hurting so much.

'I guess you hate me because I'm a selfish dick who only replies in insults and can't handle anything serious. I mean Karofsky basically came out to me and what did I do? I did what I know best. I insulted him and mocked him. I didn't think.' His eyes were blazing with anger and bitterness, glaring at something just beyond Kurt which Kurt couldn't see. Kurt knew that Sebastian couldn't be fully aware of what he was saying as otherwise there would be no way he would saying this in front of him. 'I seem to forget to think a lot. I really am an asshole'

'Sebastian,' Kurt said tentatively, feeling the need to interrupt him before Sebastian got too caught up in his emotions.

Sebastian blinked rapidly, his gaze landing on Kurt and his eyes going wide as though he only just remembered Kurt was there. 'What the fuck am I even telling you this for?' Sebastian let out a self deprecating and bitter laugh, 'it's not like you care.' He shrugged, as though trying to shrug off his emotions. 'goodbye, gay-face,' he said with false bravado, lifting his hand in a mocking friendliness.

'Sebastian, don't. what you were saying – it's not true,' Kurt said, taking a small step to the left; effectively blocking the door from Sebastian.

'not true is it?' A cool exterior settled over Sebastian, his tone hard and pointed.

'Sebastian,' Kurt said in a placatory tone, unsure exactly what to say. He was overwhelmed with the fact that Sebastian had just admitted something that probably made him feel incredibly vulnerable. He might not know Sebastian very well but he could tell Sebastian was hurting a lot over this and he didn't want him doing something stupid.

'What?' Sebastian questioned in mock politeness, annoyed at the Hummel's concern.

'I...' Kurt hesitated. 'Please, I promise you Sebastian, that whatever Karofsky attempted to do was not your fault.

Sebastian let out a harsh, disbelieving laugh. 'You don't understand. It would be better if you just left.'

Kurt sighed, he really didn't want to leave Sebastian like this, but he didn't want to exacerbate him further. After moments of silence trickled by with Sebastian glaring at an unmoving Kurt, Sebastian broke it; 'I said, get the fuck out of here.' He wasn't shouting, his voice was low and filled with anger.

'Not until you realise that it wasn't your fault.'

'Bordel de merde. Casse-toi!' For crying out loud. Fuck off.

French? When had Sebastian spoken French? Sebastian then started muttering so quickly in rapid French that Kurt couldn't quite pick everything up. Something about Sebastian's mother? And how he 'should have noticed' with Karofsky?

'Sebastian, ce n'etait pas ta faute,' it wasn't your fault. Kurt cried, trying to drown out Sebastian's ranting, naturally switching into French as well.

Sebastian looked over at Kurt and muttered, 'C'est vrai? Parce que il semble –' really? Because it seems –

Sebastian broke off, suddenly frowning at Kurt. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before saying in surprise, 'Tu parles Français?' you speak French?

Kurt nodded. 'Ma mère était Française. My mother was French'.

'Mother's, what's the good of them?' Sebastian exclaimed, switching into English and shaking his head bitterly.

Kurt frowned at this. He wondered what had happened with Sebastian's own mother. He had never really given much thought to Sebastian's home life.

'fuck.' Sebastian said suddenly, staring at Kurt. His eyes had lost that glassy nature they had had earlier and they were staring at Kurt filled with horror, as though he was repulsed by what he had said to him. 'I need to go,' he muttered quickly.

Sebastian ran a hand distractedly through his hair, before moving swiftly past Kurt avoiding his gaze. This time Kurt let him go, he wasn't sure he could say anything else to make Sebastian believe him.

He paused at the door, turning around and saying; 'Hummel, you tell anyone about this, about me or what I said or anything, and I will ruin you.' There wasn't the usual harshness behind the words and Kurt was pretty sure he was still shaking slightly.

'I won't, don't worry,' Kurt replied truthfully.

Sebastian nodded awkwardly before turning to walk out again.

Before Kurt could help himself he called, 'are you sure you're okay?'

Sebastian spun around again and paused. He shook his head stiffly before repeating his threats. Without another word he flung open the door and took off down the corridor, the sound of the door slamming echoing around the now suddenly silent room.

Kurt felt drained. For a while he just stood completely still, just thinking, before slipping into the nearest chair.

He could not believe what had just happened. He couldn't get the look of utter remorse on Sebastian's face off his mind. The way his green eyes had been shinning with unshed tears. The way his lip had shaken when he had spoken.

Kurt couldn't believe how vulnerable he had just seen Sebastian. For the first time Kurt had seen past the walls of snarky defence to something rawer, as though Sebastian was a real person.

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of his thoughts. After minutes of just staring into space he walked across the empty room and sat down at the piano.

Within minutes of starting playing he felt his thoughts evaporate. The feelings of worry for Sebastian dissipated as his fingers glided smoothly over the keys. Only concentrating on the movement of his hands, he allowed himself to get lost in the sheer beauty of the music.

When the last notes finally trickled off, Kurt pulled back from the piano suddenly feeling fairly emotionless. He felt empty. The whole morning had completely drained him. Blaine and that Hufflepuff, Karofsky and his attempted suicide and now Sebastian. Kurt felt completely overwhelmed.

He forced himself off the stool and wandered slowly back to the common room.

'Fortuna Major,' he muttered as he reached the Fat Lady a few minutes later. She glared at him, giving him a lecture on not interrupting someone when they were practicing singing, to which Kurt just had enough energy to roll his eyes, before swinging open.

Once inside, Kurt noticed Blaine sitting near the hearth, gazing at the dying embers, an ignored book open on his lap.

'Blaine?' He asked, walking over and collapsing on the puffy armchair next to him.

Blaine started out of his reverie, 'Kurt,' he mumbled, looking dazed. 'I…hey.' Blaine shifted uncomfortably, his eyes darting around.

Kurt sighed, he wasn't sure he could spend another hour or so with an emotional Blaine, he was too tired and drained. 'Are you okay?' he asked cautiously.

'Fine,' Blaine said, shaking his head as though clearing his thoughts. 'I've missed hanging around with you.' Blaine's voice was a mixture between thoughtful and regretful.

Kurt pushed all remaining thoughts of Jeremiah, Karofsky and Sebastian out of his mind and instead asked, 'shall we go to lunch? To catch up?'

Blaine nodded, smiling, before launching into a story about something that had happened in his charms class the previous day. Kurt grinned back at Blaine, realising just how much he had missed his best friend.

That night, Kurt lay in bed, staring at the top of his four-poster. He couldn't sleep. His mind was buzzing. After having lunch together, Kurt and Blaine had sat in the common room doing homework together, nevertheless things had still felt forced between them. For the whole afternoon the image of Blaine singing to that Hufflepuff had continually flittered through his mind, making it hard for Kurt to concentrate.

Also, rumours surrounding Karofsky's suicide attempt had been passed from person to person continually throughout the afternoon. People were regarding it as gossip. Speculating over what had happened. Kurt barely heard one person express empathy or sorrow for Karofsky. They were almost mocking him. Kurt had been seething with anger. It was fair to say that barely any homework had been done.

And then there was Sebastian. Sebastian who had blamed himself for Karofsky's attempt. He wasn't to blame though, he couldn't be. And Sebastian had spoken French? When had he learnt to speak that fluently? He wasn't French himself was he? And what had he said about his mother – he had mentioned her in the same context as suicide, but surely that didn't mean...

Kurt rolled over, so he was staring through the gap in his curtains out of the window. He could just see the moon hovering beyond the school grounds. There was something about the moon and the night sky littered with stars which always made Kurt feel more at peace. That was why he loved being by the window. Somehow the sheer depth of the sky made all his worries smaller almost.

It wasn't working tonight though. He still felt incredibly overwhelmed and his thoughts wouldn't stop.

Blaine. Karofsky. Sebastian.

He had never given much thought to Sebastian's home life. He had merely assumed he had a perfect pureblood family. He had always envisioned Sebastian being the only child, strutting around some manner ordering hundreds of obedient house elves around, whilst his mother and father doted on him.

This idea had first been disproved when Sebastian's sister arrived at Hogwarts. The fact that Sebastian wasn't an only child had been shock enough. This idea that Sebastian's mother might have committed suicide was so too much. She couldn't have. Could she?

Kurt groaned inwardly. Wishing the questions and the thoughts would stop. He rolled out of bed and staggered over to the jug of water, ignoring the few disturbed grunts from the other boys in the dormitory.

Kurt wanted nothing more than to discuss this with someone. Not for gossip reasons but simply to clear his head. He had promised Sebastian he wouldn't though and he would keep his word.

He wished he had never gone to the room of requirement. Wished he had stopped using it as a haven once he had found Sebastian there the first time. Who knew they would both find comfort in the same place?

But then maybe it was a good thing Kurt had found Sebastian there? Maybe he had stopped Sebastian doing something stupid?

Settling down on the window ledge Kurt leaned against one of the glass panes, staring out over the grounds.

He remembered when, less than two years ago, he had sat here thinking about how shit everything was. He had hated life then. Been close to attempting what Karofsky had done. He had been getting bullied every single day. Called every slur the people in this place knew. Been hounded and beaten down. And he hadn't been able to see a way out.

A chill went down his spine as he remembered the thoughts that had gone through his head. They still scared him. The things he had contemplated doing. What he had thought might make it all better. He was so so grateful he had never had the courage to go through with anything like that. He was so thankful with where he was now.

Kurt's eyes flickered out over the grounds: over the Quidditch pitch, where he had spent many Saturday mornings watching Blaine and cheering on Gryffindor; the lake where he and the others had lounged on the weekend doing homework and chatting about nothing in particular; and the gate which led into Hogsmeed where he'd had butterbeer to warm him up and come out of Honeydukes with his pockets bursting. Kurt smiled at the memories. Even though things hurt right now, he was so glad to be alive.

Kurt took another sip on his water, making up his mind to try and get permission to go and see Karofsky in St. Mungos. Kurt really wanted to talk to him.