Hey all. Thanks so much for the reviews. I actually wasn't planning on updating this fic for about two weeks, since I'm going away for spring break. But then I decided to stay home from school today, and that I should take the time to update one last time before I leave. I'm sorry if this chapter is pure shit. I don't feel well, and I'm going through something similar. It hurts to get too into how they feel. And a lot of how I feel about my current "relationship" is starting to unconsciously creep it's way into the CS love, and that's not really fair to the story, or you guys. I promise the story will get better, and my friend has helped me come up with THE coolest storyline ever. So, you better keep reading. Have a safe spring break, girls. Oh, no beta again.
Xx Nathalie
--X--
Well, I don't know how to say this right
And the words got me chokin'
I keep hittin' this wall
It's never gonna fall
And we're still broken
This mountain we've been trying to climb
It's never ending
Just can't do nothing
Gotta do something
'Cause if we don't open up our eyes
We're just pretending
Today is possibly the last day that the whole cast and crew will ever spend together. Their show is sadly coming to an end, and everyone is doing everything they can to keep each other motivated. Sophia's job has been to paint on a famous fake smile, and hand out fake encouragements to the crew. After all, as Mark said, they can't start slacking.
"It's so weird that after seven years this could be it." She mumbled, sitting down on a lounge chair in the lobby of the Hotel that had been rented out entirely for the cast and crew.
"Yeah." Sighed James, looking dreamily at the snow that coated the frame of the window pane, magnificently showing off the latest peeks of the mountains.
"But we'll still keep in contact!" James slightly jumped, being revived by Sophia squeezing his knee.
"Oh yeah, definitely." He nodded, not being able to hide the nervous glances at Sophia.
"Something wrong?" She knew him since he was a minor and he might be a good actor, but she could easily read him like a book. She used to consider herself extremely close to him, but after their short lived romance, it seemed like they were trying to be friends, than actually being friends.
"Nah. Everything's cool." He let out a nervous laugh, running his fingers through his dark hair.
"James. Don't pull that shit with me." She huskily laughed, moving herself closer to him.
"Alright, alright." He sighed. "I talked to Chad last night." He stopped, and rolled his eyes when he saw Sophia scuff, demanding him to get to the point. "He's going to take your movie." He stopped once again, intently watching Sophia try to make sense of what he was telling her.
"What do you mean by 'take your movie', James?" She was now looking at the carpeted floor, her breaths already coming in an abnormal pattern.
"He's going to play your significant other in the movie."
"No."
"Yeah. He called the producers and basically bought out the other actor." He continued speaking, even though he could tell Sophia's mind had left seconds ago. "It was some Austrian nobody, it was easy and cheap." James finished, waiting for Sophia's reaction.
"Where is he?" She asked in a monotone voice, which caused the hairs in his back to stand up. He couldn't see her face, but he could already picture her hazel eyes seething red.
"Now, Soph. You just need to relax, I bet-" He stopped speaking as soon as her eyes made contact with his. Definitely way worse than what he imagined.
"Where is he, James?" She asked once again, trying to keep herself together, even though he could see how tightly her jaw was clenched, and how her nails were about to dig holes into the couch.
"His room." James answered almost immediately. "But Soph, don't kill him!" He called after her. She was already half way up the stairs and made no acknowledgment to hearing him.
Well, there's a time for givin' up
Didn't want to have to say it
All we doin' is building walls
And now there's too many barriers
--X--
Sophia could swear that her knuckles would start bleeding any second. Chad had already called from the room demanding that whoever it was "just relax" and that he was "coming." He wasn't even done with unlocking the door, when he felt himself get thrown back, landing on his bed.
"What the hell! Sophia!?" He yelled, rubbing the back of his neck, which had made impact with the remote control.
"I was about to say the same thing to you!" She hissed back, closing the door so none of the neighboring cast or crew would hear.
"Wanna tell me what this is about?" He laughed sarcastically, now getting up and attempting to walk past her.
He stopped when he felt her nails dig into his chest, and it wasn't until she felt herself touching wet skin, that she realized Chad was in nothing but a towel. "Don't act stupid." She growled, before disgustedly removing her hands from his chest.
"Oh, this must be about our movie?" He asked teasingly, not being able to get enough of an angry Sophia. She was just too damn sexy.
"Our!?" She let out a baffled laugh. "Are you hearing yourself right now!?" How could he have the audacity to stand before her and refer to the movie as "ours"!? It was her movie, not his. It was the movie of her dreams, and now he was going to take that from her too.
"Well technically, there are a few more papers I have to sign, and I don't have the script yet. But yeah, ours." He explained, as if she really cared to know. "Isn't that exciting, baby?" He asked, opening himself up to her, as if she was going to embrace him.
"You are the lowest piece of filth on this planet." She spat. Her anger making it possible to keep her tears back.
"I thought you'd be excited." He shrugged, knowing fully well that this was exactly the sort of reaction he expected.
"Just, Chad." She stopped, taking in a deep breath before looking him back in the eyes. Her anger apparently dropping, but her annoyance not lacking. "Please, call them back and say that you're no longer interested. It's not too late." She begged, her raspy voice becoming more like a lullaby, bringing him into a trance. Too consumed by the woman before him.
"I can't do that Soph." He shook his head, closing his eyes, hoping that if he couldn't see her, he would be able to reject her.
She couldn't help but smile when she realized what she was doing to him. She took a few steps, so her chest was touching his wet one. "Please." She whispered into his ear, standing up on her tip toes, draping one hand around his neck, the other unconsciously tracing his abs. Even she wasn't even fully aware of what she was doing.
"That's not fair." He managed to get out, suddenly feeling himself begin to get hard. Her chest not parting, but pushing itself closer to him, until he could feel her breath against his neck. That alone had the power to cause sparks to shoot down his spine.
"Open your eyes." She coaxed, bringing her hand from her abs, and placing it against his cheek. He did as he was told and regretted it immediately.
"Really not fair." He whispered, watching her eyes roll back, as she moaned when he grabbed her ass with both hands. Pressing her against the situation that she had just created.
"Say you won't take the movie." She whispered, doing her best to ignore the feelings of euphoria that he was causing her.
"Maybe a kiss." He challenged her, watching her squirm against him. It was obvious that she was having an inner battle with herself. She might be undeniable, but he knew he had the same effect with her.
She looked back up at him, her eyes now suddenly filled with insecurities, and he was about to tell her that she didn't have to do that, but when he felt her lips pressed against his for the first time, he was too far gone. It was hardly a kiss really, their lips barely making contact with each other, but that simple kiss was causing both of them to feel emotions that they hadn't felt in years.
"Soph." He whispered, pulling himself back. Trying to catch his breath, while watching her touch her lips, almost in disbelief at what she had just done.
"You should call them ASAP, they need to get the other actor." She finally spoke. Shaking whatever had just engulfed her away. Doing everything possible to not make eye contact with him again. She knew if something similar happened again, she wouldn't be stopping at a kiss.
"I said maybe."
"What?" She looked up at him, almost in disbelief. Hoping and praying that she had heard him wrong.
"I'm not quitting the movie. This is exactly what I need." He spoke firmly, his back now to her. He couldn't bear to see her face right now. He was fully aware of how wrong this was, and how unfair this all was to her. But this was exactly what he need, and if he wanted to be completely honest, this was the perfect way to serenade her back into his arms.
"But, you said." She whispered, her voice cracking, as the tears began to etch their way down her flawless skin.
"I didn't say anything." He spoke, showing no emotion on the outside. His heart breaking for her on the inside. He hated what whenever she cried, it was always because of him.
She didn't say anything. She simply stood behind him, her feet not allowing her to move. When it was obvious that he wasn't going to say anything, and that her brain was incapable of granting her something to say, she began to walk away. Once she got to the door, she hesitated, then turned around, huskily whispering loud enough for him to hear, "And I thought you'd changed."
Here we are lying here
It's our last final goodnight
Just because it feels so good
No use pretending we're alright
Too many locks, too many crimes
Too many tears, too many lies
Too many barriers
--X--
"That asshole!" Jana was sitting on her bed, nervously watching her dear friend storm back and fourths in front of her.
"I know!" Sophia didn't stop, she simply threw her hands in the air, in agreement with Jana.
"And to think you were married." Jana laughed, mindlessly flipping the page of her magazine.
"Don't even remind me." Shrilled Sophia, covering her face with her hands, as she fell back onto the bed. "What the hell am I gonna do?" She asked, more to herself.
"You said it's too late to back out?" Jana asked, crawling across the bed to where Sophia was laying.
"Yeah." She nodded against her hands.
"Then suck it up. You gotta be professional." She encouraged, rubbing Sophia's head playfully.
"This will be hell."
"If you make it hell, it will."
"Jana, you don't-"
"Soph!" Jana snapped, rolling her eyes in aggravation. "Stop with the bullshit. You're strong. If you go into this with a shit load of negativity, then yeah it'll fucking blow. But if you talk to him, and both decide to get over the bullshit, then I don't see any possible way of making a shitty movie." She finished, slightly shrugging.
"You're right." Sophia nodded. Jana was right, she didn't give Chad a chance to explain. Sure, what he was doing was incredibly fucked up, but maybe if they came together, they could put the past behind and work together to make a movie. I mean, how hard could that be?
"Of course I am." Jana nodded, perking up, and twirling her hair. "Now stop the brooding and get dressed. It's the last dinner tonight." She smiled, getting up and walking into the bathroom. Leaving Sophia alone, her mind torturing her without reprieve.
Now we've been draggin' this whole thing out
But I can't wait any longer
Our love's burning down
Creepin' in the doubt
We're not getting any stronger
I hear you say that we're doin' OK
But, baby, I don't think so
Just can't do nothin', gotta do something
'Cause if I don't get into my car I won't go very far.
--X--
"Soph, you look aweeeeeeeeeesome!" Jana clapped, running to her friend who was standing in front of the mirror. Sophia ran her hands over the dark red dress that was perfectly hugging all her curves.
"You don't think it's too much?" She asked, second doubting her reflection.
"Uh, no. They said 'dress to impress', didn't they?" She smiled, nudging her friend over so they were both in the mirror. Fixing their makeup, and tucking lose strands of hair away from their faces.
"I'm going to miss you, Jana." Sophia whispered, draping her arm over her friend, watching Jana's reflection in the mirror.
"You better not forget about me." She teased, not being able to fight back the sudden sadness that had washed over her.
"What! You better not forget me when you're singing with Taylor Swift." Sophia laughed, pulling her friend into an embrace.
"You have an unnatural obsessing with Taylor Swift." Jana laughed, tears slipping from her eyes.
"She may be like 15, but she can sing." Sophia defended, pulling back and helping her friend wipe the tears away.
"You better text me everyday." Jana instructed, pointing a finger at Sophia before turning back to the mirror to fix her slightly smeared makeup.
"I will. And I'll find the best wedding present ever." She smiled, sitting down on the bed. She couldn't help but be slightly envious of Jana. She had everything. Her acting career was really kicking off, she was going to be getting signed by some huge music labels, and pretty soon she would be married to an incredible guy. She had all those things once, at least, she likes to believe that she had.
"Why are you sad, Sophie?" Jana stopped applying eyeliner, not turning from the mirror, instead inspecting her reflection.
"I'm not sad. I'm just thinking." She smiled, shrugging the thoughts away.
"Good." Jana smiled, capping the eyeliner and dropping it into her purse. "Shall we go?" She asked, placing her hand out for Sophia to take.
"We shall." Sophia smiled back, grabbing her hand and pulling her friend out the door.
Well there's a time for giving up
Didn't want to have to say it
All we're doing is building walls
Now there's too many barriers
--X--
Sophia and Jana made their way into the darkly lit restaurant. The cast and crew were the only ones that would be eating there tonight. They somehow made their way into the very back, stopping when they both reached the bar.
"And what can I get you two?" The bar tender asked, not being able to scan his eyes over both of their bodies.
Sophia rolled her eyes. "I'll have whatever is on tap." The brown eyed man turned his gaze to Jana, who nodded her head in agreement with Sophia's order.
"There you two are!" Both girls turned around in their stools to see Mark making his way towards them, a dark red drink in his hand.
"Sorry it took so long!" Sophia laughed apologetically.
"It started snowing on the way here." Jana added, turning around and taking a large gulp of her beer.
"It's cool. Gave us time to get drunk." He laughed, beginning to turn around to make his way into the crowd of crew guys.
"Where do we sit?" Sophia called out, slightly smiling when she heard him yell back "Where ever!"
"Should we just follow him?" Jana laughed, getting up from her chair.
"That would probably be a good idea." Sophia nodded, following her friend.
"Shit. Do we have to pay?" Jana stopped, turning around so she was facing the bar tender.
"Nah. Some blonde guy took care of everyone's drinks." He shrugged, before walking to the other side of the bar.
"Chad." They both whispered in unison.
Here we are lying here
It's our last final goodnight
Just because it feels so good
No use pretending we're alright
Too many locks, too many crimes
Too many tears, too many lies
Too many barriers
--X--
Sophia and Jana sat next to Mark, parallel from James and Chad. The dinner consisted mostly of Mark reminding them of pranks and parties they all took part in years ago, and of how they all teased James about not being able to get into the bars. Chad and Sophia didn't acknowledge each other for a large portion of the night, actually, they didn't acknowledge each other at all until James brought up the movie.
"I hear you have to dye your hair blonde?" James asked. Sophia slowly looked up from her plate. Shooting an icy glance at Chad, before doing the same to James.
"What!? You're dying your hair blonde!?" Mark asked, throwing his fork down. Sophia now being the most interesting thing in a three table radius. "Why didn't you tell me!?" He laughed, nudging her playfully.
"It was supposed to be a secret." She hissed through a clenched jaw, throwing Chad another malevolent glance.
"Then how did James know?" Mark teased, not even close to realizing what he was causing.
Sophia desperately glanced around the table, looking for Austin to somehow change the subject, but realizing for the first time that night that she hadn't seen him at all.
"Is Austin here?" She asked, changing the subject with more ease than she thought possible. Thank God for the little red drink Mark was drinking.
"Uh, I actually haven't seen him in a few hours..." Mark trailed off, not showing any concern.
"But, he's here?"
"He was." Mark nodded, turning back to the conversation him and some of the producers were having.
"Jana, I'll be right back." Sophia whispered, before quietly getting up, unnoticed by anyone. Well, almost anyone. She began to walk around the tables, trying to make out the faces in the dark room. She was about to give up, and walk back to her table, when she made out a solitary shape sitting on the bar. She cautiously made her way up to him, sitting next to him. He didn't bother to see who it was, he already knew.
"What's wrong?" She asked, placing her hand on his.
"Nothing." He shrugged, his gaze still on the half empty beer bottle.
"Austin, talk to me." She begged, gently grabbing his jaw and turning him so he was looking into her eyes. She could see just how broken he was. She could see how lonely he felt. And she couldn't hide the guilt that began to tug at her heart, because she knew it was all her fault. She had been the one that caused this. She knew how it felt to think that you weren't good enough. To feel as though the love of your life loved someone else. It hurt. It hurt more than anything, and she was guilty of causing that to him.
"Is it true you're doing that movie with Chad?" He shook his head out of her grasp, his eyes turning back to the beer bottle, taking a large gulp before looking back at her.
"Yeah, but-" She stopped mid sentence when she saw him shake his head and begin to get out of his stool. Her brain and eyes now too foggy to think clearly. Her mind not being able to comprehend what was happening. Things were entirely too complicated.
"Save it, Sophia." He slurred, making his way towards the exit of the restaurant.
"Austin, please." She pleaded, grabbing the back of his shirt. Holding on for dear life.
"No, Sophia. Listen to me. I will not be your rebound. I will not let you settle for me. We both know I'm not the guy for you. You need to let go of that fantasy." With that he pulled her to him, kissing her gingerly on the forehead, before turning around and walking out of the bar.
"But I love you." She whispered to herself, the burning sensation of tears and familiar tightening of her throat making themselves known. She slowly turned around, but stopped dead in her tracks. She looked up to find Chad standing before her, his eyes alone expressing how sorry he was, how much he loves her. They didn't say anything, instead she let herself be lead into his arms. Feeling the front of his shirt soak from her tears, not being able to make out the things he was whispering to her.
In your hurry to get somewhere
In a hurry to get somewhere
And the world's tryin' to stop us
And you feel like you're nowhere
'Cause the world's tryin' to stop ya
Stop ya
Too many barriers