All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.
"And still, you won't tell me which of them was you," the pouting Time Mistress said.
"You will find out soon enough child," the old turtle said, "as the fireworks begin"
Dark secrets from a cup of tea
Their relationship improved greatly the following week as things began to recover some resemblance of normalcy, training, IT work, night rounds, more training, despite Raph and Mike's continual harassment which was really not all that new Don had to admit.
But since Leo had reluctantly agreed to talk to Don every other night for 'psychological evaluation', as he liked to call it, his nights were interesting, to say the least, usually having the tables turned; for it felt as a Chess game, since the equivalence was not even, as Don's secrets were more ordinary that one could imagine:
'Yes I do eat; sometimes I sneak at night and empty the cookie jar. No, I don't drink too much coffee or energy drinks, No I am not planning to make an April clone, No I have not contacted 'Djhanna since she left and I am not working on a transmitter,' he half-lied. 'Yes, I took the job for money because I wanted to get a new computer', etc.
He had secrets like the dread he had felt when Leo's limp body crashed through the window but, somehow, discussing them with her would not help his case much. And the truth was that, as difficult as it was to recognize, he had not managed to dwell on Leonardo's secrets anymore, still fearing Ms. Leo Hyde would eat him if he pressed an issue too much, except that she was somehow interested in poisons nowadays. 'Well, it was a hobby, after all, right?' He thought, trying to ease his mind from Leo's disturbing new hobby 'couldn't she take up gardening, knitting or something more I don't know girly', he thought sighing, but since she was such a proficient ninja that seem unlikely, unlike him apparently regarding his interrogatory skills, for she had some talent and 18 years of practice of turning the conversation her way, so he ended doing most of the talking. 'Psychology was not my call' he sadly concluded.
The truth was getting into Leo's head seem like an interesting project; she had refused to have an electroencephalogram, arguing she was not a science project, but Don still had hopes for he had convinced Raph after all or rather bribed him with a bike upgrade. So he had resorted to psychological tests instead, he would casually drop in the conversation, hoping she would not read through them, and was a bit concerned when he analyzed the results, when two words came up defining her concept of self "shield and sword" in that order and to Don that was a matter of concern, considering his most terrifying nightmares content. Sure he would take a blow for his brothers, even for Raph, as odd as that sounded, but he did not make it the center of his life and he hoped to convince Leo to get a life of her own so she would not see them as children anymore, because, for some reasons, he felt she was kind of babysitting them, and for some reasons, that no longer suited him well. But to do that he needed to know more and that was an interesting field of study for the genius turtle, as he almost choked with laughter remembering a phrase for Back to the Future that had stuck with him:
"The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better, I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women!"
'Oh boy that was lame', he sighed.
He could recall a time long ago when Leo used to be there to help Mikey in his mischief, have a quick fight with Raph and even help him in his wild experiments, sometimes helping him out of the debris and helping him to clean afterward. To tell the truth she still was the only one he trusted enough not to improvise and rearrange his lab, use welding implements properly, drive the battle shell, the chopper.
"She is very talented" he reflected thinking about it for the first time on something not related to ninjutsu. 'Maybe she could help me out a lot more in the lab, so I could train more', but that line of thought discouraged him.
But the truth before him was: since the leader thing came up, little by little she had taken a lot of weight concerning their safety and they had selfishly allowed her to fade into that fearless leader persona as Raph had so wittily pointed out in less educated terms. 'Guess she does have a mother hen attitude deep inside' as he evoked an image of Leo as a child, a cute child that was with a frank careless loving smile and he felt chills as he saw the self-conscious, contained, borderline obsessed turtle before him punctual for their appointment appearing on his door.
He had decided to make a gamble tonight, deciding to put something on her tea to ease her a bit, 'Not that way' he smack himself wondering if his inner self would end getting a concussion this way. But what he heard that night left him regretting it afterward. Leo's secrets were after all really too much to handle.
" So how do you put up with them?" he asked her, wondering about a particularly hard joke Mike and Raph had played on Leo that day.
"I meditate" she said having regained her usual temper after a long stay in the dojo and taking a sip from the tea, she had not been feeling that well today and was thirsty after her workup, but had decided to indulge Don hoping to convince him to get some sleep, the poor thing was still too nervous around her for his own good.
"What do you gain by that?" Don asked. He never actually achieved meditation unless something dire was happening, like being forced by the white-haired witch from the temple. He usually preferred to spend the time focusing on his projects instead.
"Well, when I meditate I feel like part of the all and thing tend to come into perspective. Of course, sometimes things occupy my mind and I am unable to reach that peaceful spot. Hormone turmoil is no good for me I guess. You should try it one time: you can feel everything that lives like small little lights surrounding you"
'Too deep' Don thought. Considering all Leonardo had to put up with he wondered why she did not spend every waking moment in meditation. He knew he would and before he could ask the next question he heard:
"Why do you keep the IT job?" She asked finishing the tea, its warm temperature making her feel a bit relieved.
"As I said, it pays the bills," Don said defensively, this having been a recurrent topic.
She yawned. 'Here they go again'
"How much would you need to start your own tech company?" she asked out of the blue.
Don laughed, "Yes, right like a giant turtle can apply for a loan."
But considering the calculating look he was getting from Leo, he answered.
"A lot. What are you planning? A bank heist?" he said joking
"How much?" she insisted.
"Dunno… A lot of money… Over 10 or 100 grand I guess. But then the permits and all that stuff, I might as well forget it"
"It certainly did not stop C'hrell or Mortu," she said coming up with an idea. "And they were not as smart as you."
'Yes, they were.' He had to admit they were 'Utroms', literally all head. "But that would not be very ninja, would it?" Don said, having shivers every single time the Utrom Shredder was mentioned and surprised she would address the Shredder by his name. But then it certainly made it clearer.
"Forget ninjutsu, you are better than that and there is the stock market," she said reclining a bit on the chair trying to calculate how much she would get if she was to trade all her stash.
"I will talk to April, Honeycutt, and Leatherhead if it makes you happy," Don said not really wanting to go on with what Leo had meant. 'Had she just called ninjutsu unimportant?' No, he must have been hallucinating he took the nearest cup feeling the need to clean his throat "We might come up with something."
"Good," she said finishing her second cup of tea.
He decided to press his luck a bit and to bring an issue that had intrigued him for a while, as payback for the long-haired alien's insinuations Leo had made. "So how are things going for you and your furry knight in armor?" not really expecting her to answer. 'She will probably change to the poison topic, talking about which, had he not just drank a cup the tea?' he thought with dread. 'And I call myself a ninja…'
"I beg your pardon?" Leo said confused, feeling a bit light headed. She would have said something but the idea of Don examining her disturbed her and opted to focus on the conversation.
"You know, a certain furry Ronin from a different dimension," the still miserably feeling Don asked looking at the empty cup. 'Idiot.'
Leo chuckled "No, Don is not like that with Usagi. He is just an honorable warrior I respect; who has a major crush with a furry lady from his dimension."
Don shivered now he was talking and since he knew their ex-sword wielding friend from the Tribunal had gotten married recently and had sent pictures and Leo had not even batted an eye over it, that meant Karai and that would just be terrible in Don's point of view.
"So Karai is still your lady of choice," A crestfallen Don said, the tea doing a lot of the talking, while his inner self-thought 'Just their luck.'
Leo laughed, as though what Donnie had said was something absolutely outrageous while keeping her eyes on the monitor. "No, No," she said lowering her voice "I know you have speculated a lot but no, she is a kindred spirit. I guess that is why I was unable to kill her, she is too honor-bound for her own good." she said in an even more quiet voice. "Her father on the other hand…" Leo stopped putting her hand on her mouth 'I am sweating, odd…' she thought.
Don looked surprised: this Leo's always full of surprises, encouraged by the tea almost bursting with laughter. "Don't tell me you had a crush with Shredder! Was it before or after we found out he was an icky overgrown brain?" Don said playfully thinking she was teasing him.
"Very funny, you know when you are 14 and have been forced to read about and admire all the legends of ancient warriors, he shines in a different light… almost..." she continued more reluctantly as if she was having a conversation with herself.
Don looked at her with some concern, his laughter vanishing. He truly had never seen Leo under this light and as though it seems terrifying for him, particularly if she ever realized she had been given something, he considered it will be highly cathartic for her to open a bit even if it was induced by the aftermath of her season and the medication on her tea that seemed to work like a truth serum for turtles. 'Check components later, using Mikey as test subject regarding the location of my stapler' an inner voice he called his personal secretary told him.
"I was not a crush of course, not like the one you all had for April back then" she pointed to Don almost defensively trying to rationalize it "I certainly did not keep his picture on a shrine or anything," she said condescendingly to a purple Donatello "Yes, Don we all knew, but although I knew from the beginning there was darkness, it was truly fascinating… What I am saying?" She shook her head blushing ashamed as though she was having a very complicated discussion with herself.
"No, Leo, go on. I am not here to judge you" Don intervened, thinking 'I am an idiot.' "Don't worry, my lips are as silent as a grave, geek honor," he said putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder wondering why she suddenly seemed so fragile.
She smiled painfully, deciding that keeping this bottled really was not that great. She continued "It was madness, complete and utter madness. His presence was overwhelming. He had a way with words that…" She shivered. "Donnie, you never spoke to him aside from battle, but it was as though he knew me inside out and when he promised me true freedom and, for lapses, I imagined myself carrying proudly the dragon paw, even after master Splinter said all those things, something, somewhere deep inside me, protested that maybe it was a mistake, that he could not be that bad." She sighed.
Don looked at her, worried "The way you speak of him doesn't sound like a crush, Leo, but a major infatuation. What happened then?" He asked a bit alarmed considering they were talking about a creature that had made their destruction his life goal.
"Honor and loyalty got the better of me," she said with a bitter aftertaste, "and made me fight that because I knew it was absolutely wrong, but it did not help that he tried many times to lure me to his side," she said closing her eyes.
"Leo... when did... that happened?" Don could not remember and was beginning to feel as though he had opened Pandora's Box. 'Who said knowledge will set you free if it scares the hell of out of you.'
Leo looked at Don and put her head on her hands 'Migraine?' she thought, feeling dizzy no wanting to worry Don. "Promises, gifts, death threats, you name it, delivered by the Foot soldiers whenever they could. The last time was when I was tagged and given the beating of my life, he offered me to be his right hand. I refused, of course, I was honor-bound to do so, 'if you are not with me you will not be against me' was the last I remember him saying before losing consciousness and then landing on Aprils window. Guess he gave up after that. I guess I am not that special and he became less and less admirable particularly after his reappearance as though he had lost something. Karai did say something like that, but still, he put extra care in trying to eliminate me personally. But he is away, he can no longer hurt us" she said returning to her neutral eyes as though she had finally regained some of her grip and was beginning to awake.
Don felt as though something like a longing was embedded in Leo's words but quickly dismissed it: it was too disturbing to consider it.
"Oh, Leo I did not know, but as you said you were an impressionable 15-year-old and he was centuries old… ah... brain. I guess it was probably hormonal" Yeah lately everything was blamed on those. Don said trying to comfort her. "Did you... talk to father about this?"
She shook her head violently, and answered as in trance "The ancient dance in which we are always engaged, only ends when our bloods are mixed and spread."
"Leo, Leo!" Don said confused trying to make her react snapping his fingers.
"Donnie?!" she said confused as she had just woken up looking suspiciously at her abandoned cup of tea in the floor. "I think I really need to sleep, I am still weary. Goodnight!" She said leaving a slightly disconcerted Don.
Author's note
First a heartfelt thanks to Lady-Kassy for taking the time to beta this chapter in record time and pointing out the importance of italics. You will see them more often from now on.
Ha ha! I am evil I know, but take it easy with the flames. My arguments: Oroku Saki did appear to impress Leonardo, he was calling him master Saki after all in the Shredder Strikes back and was making an apparently tempting offer to Leonardo and he was the only who had issues getting rid of him considering it dishonorable. I mean, he was evil remark, only the Sith Emperor was worse, but he certainly earned Karai's devotion somehow. But as the series progresses he becomes more and more deranged. Now let's go back to the lair mayhem
To silencedlegends: No being female is great. Actually never had doubted that but it gets confusing at certain times. The expectation you grow with are different, you get the "I expect grandchildren'' look from your parents all the time and they are not at fault is sort of a biological duty.
I don't think boys have it easier but the male brains take thinks by compartments so they can focus more easily and the female one thinks about everything all the time that is why when you argue with a girl she might remind you something you have not thought about in decades, that is why men tend to forgive each other more easily: they remember less. Want an example? Take the whole Spears affair, I am not condoning anything, but the eldest acted just as many male stars do, why the outrage then and in the US of all places because she was a girl and a mother and that was outrageous.