A/N: Sorry that this chapter is so late. QAQ I've been really busy these days.

Sora was falling.

After a fight between him and Dolan (Sora forgot what it was but it was probably about pants), Dolan decided that the only logical way to proceed was to kill him. At first he wanted to kill him with fire, but it turned out that he sucked at magic.

So he decided to push him overboard.

There was something that Dolan didn't foresee however. This was a cutscene. And in cutscenes, Sora couldn't be harmed since his HP didn't go down. This meant that Sora's suffering was completely painless, he wasn't hurt at all even when he fell face first into a familiar looking tree house.

Once Sora got back on his feet only one thing crossed his mind.

"Yay that was so fun! I wanna do that again!"

He wasn't alone, however.

A sabertooth tiger was waiting to devour the unsuspecting boy. It was nothing to worry about, because he's definitely no Shere Khan. Oh, and because of the whole cutscene thing.

It growled menacingly, which made Sora be alert, raising his Kiburado for protection. I mean he didn't really have anything else to defend himself with.

"W-who's there?"

The growling became louder, which made Sora even more worried.

"I warn you, I have a giant toy key and I'm not afraid to use it! ...I really wish I had a gunblade or a buster sword but the floating text was like noooo you don't get that, you get a key, even the name sounds lame! At least it has been helpful with battling the forces of DARKNESS! but it's still a shame that I don't get to have all those cool and epic weapons that all the other Final Fantasy characters have especially since I also have a main character status and-"

Tired of Sora's rambling, the tiger then attacked. Thankfully because it was a cutscene, it was all in slow motion and Sora wasn't in any real danger.

Wow...this is taking a surprisingly long time, Sora thought to himself, starting to get a little bored. If he was about to die, he'd rather that the tiger got it over with already. It was a really cool scene though.

And suddenly, as if right on cue, the slow motion was over and Tarzan stabbed the tiger, killing it.

Dammit...even Tarzan has a cooler weapon than me...Sora thought to himself sadly.

Wait…

That was Tarzan!

"OH MY GOD IT'S YOU IT'S REALLY TARZAN I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S REALLY YOU!"

"Me Tarzan. Me love Clayton."

Clayton...oh no, that was the villain in the Tarzan movie, the one who tried to kill the gorillas!

He had to save Tarzan from his untimely fate.

But wait…

Wouldn't this be considered...meddling in the affairs of other worlds?! Something that could damage the world border and end the universe as we know it?!

Eh, surely it wouldn't do any harm.

"No, Clayton baaaad," said Sora nice and slowly, hoping Tarzan would understand.

"Me bad boy. Me need punishment."

"Oh no, has Clayton used the forces of DARKNESS! To bend you against your will?!"

"Darknes...Riku...darkness…"

"Wait what?!"

Sora felt offended at Tarzan's accusation, putting his hand over where his heart was supposed to be.

"That's ridiculous! He's my best friend and an amazing person! I know him better than anyone else, he'd never work for the side of evil!"

Meanwhile…

"I AM RIKU, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL! SOON, ALL WORLDS WILL FALL INTO EVERLASTING DESPAIR AND AGONY, AND I, RIKU, WILL HAVE TOTAL DOMINANCE OVER ALL! DEFIANCE IS POINTLESS, JOIN ME OR DIE! MWAHAHAHA-*cough**cough*OhgodIthinkIjustswallowedabug*cough*cough*"

Maleficent sighed as Riku kept coughing (plot twist: he didn't swallow a bug, 'twas just his imagination), feeling especially embarrassed as all the other Disney villains were watching over them, laughing at his futile attempts.

"So...umm...how did I do?" Riku asked with a faux innocence, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.

"Pathetically, as always. How are you going to strike fear into the hearts of man with that pathetic monologue?"

"I'd grow into an old hag like you but I think I'd have to wait a few decades for that to happen."

Maleficent resisted the urge to kill the boy where he stood as the Disney villains were now laughing at her too.

Back to the plot…

"What makes you think Riku could be evil?" Sora asked, as if such a thing was completely implausible.

"Author tell me Riku bad?"

"What is an author?" Sora asked.

"Not Ienzo, not Ienzo."

"That...doesn't tell me much. Ok, never mind, do you know where Riku is now?"

"Riku is where Riku is."

"Yes but where is he?"

"%#& £#"

"...What?"

"%#& £#"

"Oh, you're speaking in monkey. I need to speak in English. English."

"Me encanta la salsa."

"...Are those even words?"

"%#& £#"

"Oh come on, why can't you just tell me already?!" Sora shouted, starting to get frustrated.

Suddenly, for no reason at all, Sora start to have hallucinations of Kairi being her usual bitchy self.

Seriously Sora, why can't you just get the *bleep* FISH ALREADY? ISN'T IT YOUR JOB TO SERVE ME?!

"B-But they're slippery and water levels in gaming are really frustrating!" Sora screamed to himself, trembling like he was close to his death bed, all of which left Tarzan really perplexed.

SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR FRIGGIN GAMES AND GET BACK TO YOUR LIFE OF HARD PHYSICAL LABOUR. ISN'T THAT WHAT FRIENDS DO FOR OTHER FRIENDS? PAINFUL, LIFE-THREATING CHORES FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF OTHERS?! ISN'T IT?!

"I-I know...I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

And just like that, Kairi was gone. Sora felt truly relieved, like his free from his burdens with her absence.

That was strange...he thought that he and Kairi were friends. And he was the main character, someone with no feelings who did pointless quests for others for the sake of reward.

So what was that feeling he had experienced? Something told Sora that maybe deep down, he didn't hold Kairi to such a high esteem as he thought he had done all this time…

But enough character development for now, let's move on.

"Are you hurt?!"

"Of course not. I'm the main...I mean, yeah, I'm fine."

"Us friends, us friends."

"Well…" Sora started eyeing Tarzan for a moment, especially his chest. "You're definitely no Riku, and your hair needs some work, but sure! Now, take me to Clayton so I can put an end to him."

"%#& £#"

Sora just nodded while saying uh-huh, pretending to understand what he means.

…

After a minigame that was actually kinda cool, Sora made it to the camp site, full of boxes and tents that literally had no purpose whatsoever. Not to mention it looked very disorganized. And he could only imagine how many annoying mosquitoes and such would prey on whoever was staying here. Thankfully, everything was just PS2 models so there was nothing too detailed.

Welcome to Deep Jungle!

...The worst Kingdom Hearts world.

After beating up some Heartless, Sora entered the tent where he found his two lost friends. One of which wasn't his friend anymore after their big fight.

...Dolan and Gooby.

They just stood there, giving their infinite stare at Jane with their big 'ole eyes and their emotionless expression. They were like statues with eyes, and Jane felt really unnerved to the point where she was afraid to even move.

Sora was a forgiving person, one could say even too much. However, this time...he still forgave them.

"Hey guys!" he said gleefully, like he had just been reunited with them after so long. Jane let out a sigh of relief as their focus was no longer on her.

"Hyuck, it's Sora!" said Gooby as he proceeded to hug Sora, and Sora hugged him back with full force.

"I know that we'll never be apart, and we'll always be beeest...Gooby?"

Gooby wouldn't let go of Sora. It had been a while since the hug was started, and now it had long overstayed it's welcome.

"Umm, Gooby II think it's time to let go now."

He didn't let go.

"Really Gooby, hugs don't last this long."

He still didn't let go.

"...I love hugs," Gooby whispered seductively.

The hug only lasted a few seconds but it felt like an eternity and Sora was relieved once he managed to break away. Something about that hug felt really uncomfortable, but he couldn't put his finger on why.

Sora then looked at Dolan, who had his back turned away from Sora.

"Hey, what did I even do wrong?" Sora asked. A perfectly reasonable question, to which Dolan replied:

"Incomprehensible duck noises."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I SAID I AM MAKING INCOMPREHENSIBLE DUCK NOISES!"

"Hyuck, but Dolan, you aren't actualy making dem duck noises, you're just saying that you are!"

"Shut up Gooby."

"Hey, at least I actually fight!" Sora rebutted.

"I fight! ...When it's convinient for me."

"You never even heal me! And you're supposed to be the healer!"

"Well MAYBE if you adjusted your settings, I'd be more useful!"

"Come on, this isn't just some GAME where I can a change your AI!" screamed Sora, not realizing what he had just said.

"Here's a game for you. Your hair is dumb."

Sora gasped from shock at his offensive comment.

"Hey, it takes forever to get my hair this spiky in the morning! If I'm gonna be the main character of a jrpg, I need to look the part!"

"Exactly."

Sora was losing this battle, like with boss battles, he needed to hit Dolan in his weak spot at full force.

"At least I wear pants."

…

There was a moment of silence. Gooby was awestruck. Jane was just watching, afraid for her life since all these crazy people had entered her tent without consent.

Dolan burst into tears, crying like a little bitch which made Sora instinctively run up to him and try to comfort him.

"I-I'm sorry! I crossed the line, I shouldn't had said something so awful!"

Dolan kept crying.

"I...I could have give you munny if you want! I heard people love that stuff, and I can just beat up Heartless to get more!"

He immediately stopped crying, and excitedly awaited his prize.

"How much?"

"Uh...I only have 10000 right now. Is that enough?"

Dolan started drooling at the thought of all that munny. Maybe he could afford the surgery he needed to turn back into Donald! And then...then...he could wear pants again.

"OkokIforgiveyoujustgimmethemunny," he rasped desperately, like an addict who needed more drugs.

Sora complied, giving him his savings.

"I instantly forgive you."

"Yay! I'm so glad we're friends!" Sora said naively.

"Yeah sure whatever."

Sora then realized that Jane was around. How rude of them to just barge into her tent uninvited! Then Sora remembered that all main characters did this, so surely it would all be alright in the end.

Jane took a step back, afraid for her life.

"Who...who are you people?"

"I'm Sora! And those are my memes!"

"You...you look like you're from Japan. Isn't that the place that's obsessed with tentacles and robots?"

"Nah, I'm from Destiny Islands. It's full of Japanese people though!"

On the inside, Sora couldn't help but sigh. Everyday I wish I was actually Japanese...Sora thought to himself.

"Where are you from?" Sora asked Jane.

"Oh...well, I'm glad you asked. I am from the great country of Britannica! Long live the queen!"

"Isn't that where you have cups of tea and people have those poofy black hats and red jackets?"

"Well...I guess you could say that. Are those...things Japanese?" Jane asked frightenedly as she pointed at Dolan and Gooby.

"We were made in a factory by Nazis so I'm not sure, hyuck!"

"When I was born, the first thing that I was told was that I was useless."

"I see…"

Jane had to find a way to distract the three foreigners and get them out of her tent. The study of gorillas were important to her, but right now she was stuck with people who were potentially dangerous. She'd get her pepper spray, but she was afraid that if she did that they might summon their tentacles.

What to do,,,ah yes, a distraction!

"I...I seem to have lost some important slides in the jungle," Jane lied, hoping that they would buy it. "Could you...get them for me?"

There was a moment of silence as Sora processed what Jane had said.

"If it's not too much trouble that is…"

Sora kneeled down onto the floor, and started shaking his fists as he gazed up to the rooftop of the tent.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed in pure sadness and agony.

Jane was even more afraid, his mental health didn't seem to be in order at all.

"Really, you don't have to."

"No, no, it's fine," said Sora dramatically and over the top, placing his hand on his heart. "I am the main character, I was burdened with this task since the very beginning. And so, regardless of my own personal wants and needs, I shall do whatever fetch-quests is given to me. After all, it is all for the sake of game progression, it is something that cannot be avoided. If I am to ever be like the main characters in Final Fantasy that I have idolized all my life...I must lead by example. So that I will inspire future generations, and they can all follow in my footsteps!"

Gooby couldn't help but shed a tear at Sora's heartwarming speech. Jane on the other hand was even more confused.

"Garwsh...dat be the most bootiful speech me ears had ever heard."

And so, to Jane's relief, they had finally left the tent. Sora had to embark on yet ANOTHER fetch-quest. Because apparently this game loved those. It reminded him of back when he was Kairi's slave during his youth, but he thought that maybe that fall he had a while back might have made him forget some stuff. Like whoever that boy with blond hair was from ten years ago.

…

But as they left the tent, they ran into Tarzan and Clayton.

Because that's the villain everyone wanted to fight in Kingdom Hearts.

Friggin CLAYTON.

No wonder Maleficent didn't invite him to be in her super secret and exclusive villains club.

"Now Tarzan, say those lines again."

"Spank me harder, spank me harder."

"Oooh yes. I like that~"

With a smirk on his face, Clayton took out his big, fat, hard…

Camera.

He then started to record Tarzan, laughing to himself like he was some kind of comedic genius.

"Say it again Tarzan!"

"Spank me harder, spank me harder."

Clayton couldn't contain his he was recording, amused at his little joke that's been in the making for quite some time.

"I'm going to show this to everyone back home, this is hilarious!"

"CLAYTON!"

Both Clayton and Tarzan were shocked at Sora's sudden arrival.

"I knew you were up to no good!"

"Me? I have not done anything I tell you, I am innocent!"

"That's not true! I saw the movie where you try to kill all those gorillas!"

"Nonsense! I don't even care about the gorillas! I only came here to cut down this entire jungle and turn it into a huge chain of factories, honest!"

Sora frowned.

"You act like you're innocent but I don't believe you!"

"Me? Lie? Preposterous."

"Why are you holding that gun?"

"It's...to make me look more manly," Clayton admitted.

"And probably to compensate for something," whispered Dolan.

"Then why is your jacket covered in blood, huh?"

"We had jam tarts for supper."

Sora knew what Clayton was trying to do...acting all innocent, like he didn't do anything wrong. But Sora was smart, he could easily see through his facade.

He summoned his Kiburado, ready to fight.

"No longer will you hurt these gorillas, I will be the one to slay you! ...Is what I would say, if I didn't have to go on a fetch-quest now."

Sora backed away, his Kiburado still in his hand and his gaze still firmly placed on Clayton.

"You may think you're safe now...BUT! I will return! When you least expect it...I'll be there! In the brightest day, in the darkest night...I! SORA! Will put an end to your miserable existence! I just need to get a few slides first but then death will rain upon you! Ok maybe not since I don't know how to cast Doom but regardless, you will FEAR me! I will be there as soon as I am done, ready to defeat you in an epic battle of wits! For I! SORA! Will-"

"Garwsh, should we go with Sora to get dem slides?" Gooby asked his partner in crime as Sora kept rambling while backing away into the next map step by step.

"Nah, he'll be fine on his own," Dolan replied.