Chapter Eleven
After Illya and Napoleon had left, Shado returned to the living room. Wisely enough, there was no sign of anyone else around. She listened intently for a few minutes, finally hearing slight noises coming from the basement region. Evidently they had scampered down there, hoping to avoid the explosion that was headed their way. She listened for a moment, then slid open the slider and slipped out onto the deck. She really wasn't in the mood to confront the wayward bunch, she needed time to think things through first. Her entire world had shifted on its axis and she really didn't know what to do or how to act.
She sat in a chair and pulled her knees up to her chin. With a negligent wave of her hand, she summoned a drink from the wet bar, it appeared with a soft clink of ice, and likewise she pulled a cigarette from the pack in her bag, still where she had dropped it. She stared at the smoke slowly wending its way upward into the darkening sky. God, had it been only three hours since she had arrived home? It felt like time had alternately crept or fled, she couldn't decide.
She had been so reluctant to let him out of her sight, more than half afraid that he was still an hallucination and the rest afraid that he was indeed real. She wasn't sure which would be easier to deal with, reality or insanity. She snorted softly. Insanity definitely, it fit with her current lifestyle much better than a long dead husband. She sipped the Glenfiddich in the glass, her breath catching in the medicinal aftermath. Taking a drag from the slim black cigarette, she blew the clove flavored smoke toward the bay. A warmth against her shoulder had her turning her head to the small grayish area that had appeared.
"You really get your jollies doing shit like this don't you?" she asked the avatar that flickered and wavered in the half light of dusk.
*I had nothing to do with this.*
"Right. And the Pope isn't Catholic." She took another drink.
*Despite what you would care to think, Fledgling, not all that happens in the universe falls under my purview. Some things are the responsibility of chaos, this just happens to be one of them.* the Phoenix whispered into the air. *Are you not happier now, Fledgling?*
"Why should this make me happy?" she snapped.
The smoky form shifted and a small flame took its place. *You have him back. Does that not please you?*
"Oh, yeah. I'm as happy as a pig in shit." She groused. She stubbed the cigarette out and lit another. "Look, yes I am thrilled beyond thrilled that he is alive. It's just the timing really sucks." She blew another smoke trail at the avatar. "I want him. Ancients, Phoenix, I still love him. But I can't have him. Not with all the shit you guys have dumped on us. It wouldn't be fair to him, or to me, or to our son. Listen to me, I mean hell, I don't even know that he still wants me."
Phoenix winked out for a second, then came back perched on her shoulder, a smoldering coal. At his touch she felt her world shift slightly and she could "see" the interior of the limo Napoleon and Illya were in.
'She's still my wife, Napoleon.' Illya was saying obviously in response to something. 'I love her and whatever else that will never change.'
'Illya you don't know her. There is something wrong in that house. She's hiding something.' Napoleon argued.
Illya shook his head. 'It doesn't matter Napoleon. Not to me, not now-not ever.'
'What if she wants you to leave?'
'If that is what she wants, I won't like it, but I will. Doesn't mean I can't keep an eye on her.'
Napoleon shook his head. 'I'm sorry, Illya but everything I know tells me that she's a danger to you, to UNCLE. I just don't want to see you hurt again, tovarich.'
'She's my wife, Napoleon. She deserves my trust for that reason alone.'
'Sometimes, Illya, you surprise me.'
She felt Phoenix move away and glared at the avatar once more. "You know, there are rules about eavesdropping."
*You needed to know. I showed you.* Phoenix shrugged. *I do not see a problem with that.*
Shado dropped her head onto her knees, "It's nice that he still cares that much. But it still doesn't help me."
*Fledgling, things are never as difficult as you would make them. Think for a moment. What is your biggest worry?*
"You mean other than the price of cigarettes and gas?" she looked out at the bay now shrouded by darkness. "That I won't be able to keep the kids safe. That one day, I'll come home and find MPs parked at the door."
*Your Illyusha, what does he do?*
She chuckled. "Well last time I looked, he was a spy. Now, hell who knows?"
*Did not the dark one say they had gotten a transmission that led them here? Does that not indicate to you that they are still with the UNCLE?*
"Yeah, so, he's still in the game."
*Could he not use his position to help you? To keep the wolves from your door?* Phoenix asked.
"Oh hell, no, Phoenix. I am SO not about to involve either of them in this mess that you have us in." she growled.
*They are already involved, Fledgling. If you look at them, you can see the hand of the fates already on them.*
"Phoenix is right, sensei." Keeper said from the doorway. She jumped, she hadn't heard him open it. "The guardians saw them, watched them the whole time they were here. A couple of them actually wanted to follow them back to the hotel." He joined her on the deck, frowning at the cigarette in her hand.
"I am sorry, Shado, that this happened. Honestly, we hadn't meant to pry. But once the cat was out of the bag, well," he shrugged. "We couldn't really help it."
She sent a gaze toward the hovering avatar. "I think you probably had a little help there, Keeper."
*On that note, I shall take my leave of you. Fledgling, realize that all things happen in their own time. Now is yours to trust your heart.* and the avatar fled.
"I really hate it when he does that." She said to no one in particular. "Don't get the idea that you all are out of trouble for this. I just have to think of a suitable punishment for you."
"Whatever." He said. "The others and I have reached an agreement on this. It's up to you what you want to tell or not tell. We trust you."
"Oh how magnanimous of you." She snarked. "It was always my decision anyway."
"Um, actually no it wasn't." he argued. "Since it would involve us and our safety it's a mutual thing."
"You all blew that the moment you activated that communicator." She finished off the scotch. "That's when you compromised our security which then makes it MY decision on the appropriate action. Since I'm the only one with the resources and the ability to hide us."
"We really need to talk about your ego." Keeper muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Look it really doesn't matter at this point. It's been done and now we need to deal with it. All we are saying is that if you decide to trust them, we won't object." He stood and headed back into the house.
"Hey Keeper." She whispered, he turned and looked inquiringly at her. "In case I haven't said it- thank you. For everything." He smiled, knowing exactly what she meant.
"Our pleasure, sensei. Just try to get some sleep at some point tonight ok?" he pulled the slider closed, leaving her in the dark with her thoughts.
"Sleep. Right." She muttered. The sounds of the group moving around in the house were muted by the glass but she knew the routine well enough that she knew what they were doing. Eventually, as the hours passed the lights went out one by one, until the only one left was the security light from the basement door. She stared out over the bay, hearing the soft wash of the waves as the tide turned.
From around the point she could see the pulse of the lighthouse at the Coast Guard station there. She had counted on that beacon to help her martial her thoughts on more than one occasion, but tonight it couldn't help her. The sight of him standing in the living room, the feel of his strength wrapped around her all ganged up on her, making rational thought impossible. She bit back a soft sob, knowing that Brit and Faln had their window open. Last thing she wanted was one of them crashing this party.
The running lights of a freighter caught her attention and she watched it make its careful way through the dark shipping channel, wondering as it passed where it had come from and what its cargo might be. As it slowly moved out of her line of sight she let her mind wander to happier times, flashes of Illya brought a smile to her face. The way he would get so lost in the Lab, how he moved through the halls, the sound of his breathing in the night. She shook her head, she hadn't known when they had first met that she would come to like him, much less fall in love with him.