A/n: Here's the next exciting chapter. Yes, I know, soon. But my muse came back and I won't let it go to waste. And for the record the chapter title comes from a video on You tube called 'the end of the world'. You should check it out.

Chapter 10: WTF Mate

'John Connor loves me. Or will love me. Or did love me. Crap, time travel sucks.' Kat sat staring at the pile of clothes that Cameron deposited sometime after Mike left, wondering if she should even make the effort to get out of bed. A shower may clear her head a little, and god knew she loved the feeling of being clean. Never remembering a time when there was enough water to bath daily made the feeling of water running over her skin the best thing in her world.

If she was lying to herself. If she stopped the John loves me chant long enough, Kat would have to force herself to face the truth that the best part of her life was waking up this morning HIS arms wrapped around her. That she never felt so safe and so protected. But the waters were warm in the Nile this time of year.

So a warm shower it was, and the hope that somehow it would fix everything. When did her life get so messed up? The answer when Connor sent her back that when. Before everything fit so nicely into place.

Derek and Kyle were her brothers, not uncle and father to the hope of mankind.

Connor was like a friendly uncle, never doing anything that would lead Kat to think that he carried a torch for years. There's was no way that that man felt any thing more than indebted to the Reese family and that's why he moved heaven and earth to save her. To think that an old man like Connor loved her like that was creepy.

But John feeling the same way, that made her heart feel funny, like it was skipping beats.

Yes, warm water was a must, the hotter the better. Maybe all the steam would clear her head. Best not to think about John. About the way her eyes could help but watch his hands flying over the keyboard. Or the way his eyes lit up and wrinkled at the corners whenever he smiled.

What did she know about love? Did she know anyone that had fallen? No. Had she ever fallen herself? No. Sure girls her age were encouraged to get laid and pop out those babies and she was not a virgin, but love. Nothing that strong had ever crossed her path. To make matters worse, there was no one to talk about this.

Not even the pain from the gunshot could cut through the haze from Mike's enlightenment. The problem was complex, but boiled down to one question. How did John Connor loving her make Kat feel?

Simple to the point, but a shower, a change of clothes and a bowl of cereal later Kat still didn't have an answer. 'Time travel sucks.'

The time displacement machine seriously messed with Kat's life. Okay, forget Connor. Focus on John. What did he mean to her? Again, simple question with no answer in sight. He was the future, but did Kat want him to be her future. To share in his destiny. The whole picture that went with him was too much. Kat knew she was freaking out. Still she could not calm down, and the more she thought about it the bigger the problem seemed to get.

This whole world was foreign to her.

New clothes brought and fitted to her body, nothing like the second hand rags that had been thread bare ad black from wear that Kat had worn most of her life. Some many things were different from this time. Everything was newer, cleaner. Even John hadn't seen the things that scarred him. The young man who shared her bed last night like the battle hardened general from the future.

John and Connor were two different people.

Even Kat was different, cleaner like everything else. She remembered staring at her reflection that first morning. Her hair lighter and fuller with filth and caked in dirt were washed away. Her skin shone freed from the grime that collected from sweat, dirty air and throwing herself face first into the mud that had once been city streets to avoid being seen by a HK or worse.

She never noticed until the brown water started circling the drain how much there was or how good it felt to be really clean. No one bothered with bathing, doing no more than rubbing a wet cloth over their face. Her hair always pulled back from her face, tried back in a pony tail. She also had never worn a skirt. Pants were simply more practical.

She also felt nothing more than friendship for John Connor.

'Time travel sucks.' Her new boots were set neatly by the door where someone had set them the night before while Kat was passed out. The black leather was battered and discolored from the car crash and being dragged across the concert by that triple 8. They made her feel sexy when she wore them. Hugging her calves all the up to her knees, sturdy heel only a few inches high, and just her size. Kat truly never wore anything like them.

She wasn't the little tech geek holed up in a room 90 percent of the time with a computer wearing bagging clothes and missing her brothers. Ill fitting BDU's didn't compare to the outfits Kat could put together now. Before she really didn't want to be seen as female. She just wanted to stay at the front and fight. Being attractive meant the guys noticed being noticed meant wooing and wooing could lead to sex. All sex was unprotected. Lastly sex could lead to pregnant and that meant Haven.

So Kat kept most at arm length because she didn't want to sit back all safe when there was so much she could do right there holed up in a room with a computer.

Now she liked that heads turned when she walked past. She liked flirting and feeling sexy. She liked that the only thing her old foot wear and new shoes had in common was being black.

"I come bearing gifts." A familiar green army jacket sleeve was held through the almost closed door holding a clear plastic container of fruit. Fresh fruit have quickly become her second favorite thing about this time, right under unlimited hot warm. "Are you decent?"

"Never, but you can come in." Kat pulled her bare feet in and leaned back against the wall. It still didn't cut through the haze but he defiantly made her feel more grounded. He handed over a bowl and fork before settling down right next to Kat and carefully, almost as if she would break, placed an arm around her shoulders pulling her closer. A moment or two passed as the peace settled into her bones. Leaning her head against a muscled shoulder, she thought about how many times they had done this.

Curled up next to a wall to get out of the way and for warmth, he kissed the top of her head but said nothing. That was their way. Talking was always playful bickering, silence was comforting. Kat knew she didn't have to speak her problems; he would wait until she was ready. He wouldn't press.

"You know you're the best brother in the world." Kat tilted her head back and smiled up at Derek. He smirked back at her.

"I try." He reached out and plucked the lid of the fruit he brought for her and stole a piece of melon before she could slap his hand away. "Mike said you've been locked in here all day. Catatonic was the word he used."

"You and Mike gossip like old bitties." Derek knew something was up whenever she didn't say more. Normally, she would have continued wholeheartedly ribbing him. It was their way. John was sitting at the table cleaning a rifle when he and Sarah had come in. He hadn't said anything either. Still, pressing the issue wouldn't help.

"True. Doesn't mean he wasn't right." In a lot of ways Derek still saw that scared little girl cried into his shirt for an hour, back when he was just a stranger with news about her father. That was also the last time he saw her cry. Sitting with his arm around her, Derek thought about how complex she was. So fragile and innocent, but tough and resilient. How she had grown from a lost little girl to a confident young woman. But Kat still needed her big brother.

"True." She speared a piece of watermelon and only made eye contact with the bowl. "Why do you think he sent us back?"

That made Derek snort. "Who can ever figure Connor out?" Not the answer Kat was looking for. "You know what I think?"

Kat couldn't pass that one up. "Metal bad, boobs good." She giggled and struggled as Derek pulled her into a headlock and ruffled her hair.

"Smart alec."

"I try." Kat and Derek sat as the laughter subsided. After things settled down again, Kat spoke. "What do you think?"

He didn't answer at first. Instead, he grasped her hand and held it over his heart. Under his shirt over his heart were two Chinese markings. Kat knew what they meant because she had them as well. They said family and honor. They had them done at the same time. A statement to the world that those things came before all else.

"You couldn't mean more to me if you were my blood." Derek didn't make meaningful eye contact when he said this. That wouldn't have been like him. He didn't really do the whole mushy thing very well. That's why he and Sarah worked together. "I can see that something happening between the two of you and I'm not going to sit here like I have all the answers. Just know you came first. When you passed out last night, my gut knotted itself up cause for a moment there I thought that I had lost you. The only thing I ever wanted was for you to be safe and happy."

"No one is ever safe, Derek." He could barely make out the words, she spoke so softy. So there they sat on the floor, him holding her close and her leaning on him. The moment stretched out comfortably, neither one wanting to break it.

"Could you do me one favor?"

"Anything Derek." She would move mountains from him right now. They had been together so long it made Kat feel like the best family was the one a person got to choose.

He pulled her into a tight hug. "Don't ever scare me like that again."

"I'll try."

A/n: Well, what do my awesome readers think about that. Remember, reviewing is a virtue. Oh and yes, I made up the meaning of the tats on Derek's chest. I have no idea what they really mean, but it seems like it would be something like that.