AN: Anyone else find it interesting that it appears Walter is left-handed (perhaps he's ambidextrous, I just noticed him writing with his left hand in Risky Business), despite essentially having 'no right brain'? (Or perhaps Elyes Gabel is just left-handed, thus necessitating Walter also being left-handed.)

Also- and this is just my own interest- no need to answer- approximately how old do you think I am? (People, in real life, frequently think I am much older than I am, thus, I'd like to see if it carries over to an online life as well...)

Teaser for next chapter:

SPOILERS FOR RISKY BUSINESS

Title: Single Lady

Summary: Toby and Happy are not in a relationship. She has the right to date anyone she wants, thank you very much.

Walter knows that his behaviour is ridiculous. (Street racing, really, Walter?)

(That is essentially the point. Freudian displacement.)

But why?

Well, engaging in Freudian displacement is fairly standard procedure for him.

He has a low EQ.

He cannot deal with or process his emotions adequately. But he still has them.

That is a problem that he needs to rectify.

Sometimes, he can process them almost normally. Then, there is no problem.

Sometimes, he cannot. Then, there is a process he must implement.

First, he sits down (metaphorically speaking), concentrates, and works on processing them. A fairly significant portion of the time (estimation- 75%, having increased since Paige entered his life) he is able to work it out, though he often requires Paige, or sometimes Toby, to give him a hint or two.

Then, if that fails, he suppresses and locks away the emotions.

If that is not possible- Freudian displacement.

And why this instant in particular?

He is not happy with the whole Drew Incident. (Yes, that is what he is calling it, at least in his own mind. More efficient way of denoting a very complicated situation.)

He realizes now, that despite his original misgivings, this is really more about his own emotional issues rather than anything to do with the man himself.

Jealousy. Irrational levels of anger- why did you abandon them? Do you know what that did to Ralph? To Paige? (How do I know that? How do I understand that? Why does this matter so much to me?)

A whole heap of other things that he doesn't quite understand, can't quite process.

Ralph's rare smile.

Paige's laugh, the way her eyes light up when her son makes physical contact with her, or beams, or laughs...or when he tells her a joke...or gives her a little hint on how to connect with her son...

The feeling of Ralph's hand in his.

The look of pride, happiness on Paige's face when he does something that is socially acceptable and signifies an improvement in his emotional processing and sensitivity.

Watching Ralph and Paige interact with one another, her running her fingers through his hair. The strange accompanying feeling of peace, of rightness.

Paige's hands on his person. The strange sensations that gives him.

What is going on with him?

He wants Drew gone. He knows that. He wants things back the way they were, before he showed up.

But still, he helps him. Helps him try and connect with Ralph. (Completely against his desires.)

Tells him to buy a program at the game. Sets up the whole baseball program. Heck, even tells Ralph to tell...his father...what a good job he's doing.

Why?

Ralph wants to connect to his father. He wants to fit in with him, wants to belong. (Hence the algebra test.)

Walter knows exactly how he feels. He went through that exact process when he was Ralph's age.

Walter knows that Ralph doesn't need Drew as a father figure. (He can fill that void, and he can do it better. He is fairly certain that Paige is aware of that. That makes him irrationally satisfied.)

But Ralph wants a connection to his father.

He wants it.

Walter was never able to achieve it.

With his help, Ralph may well be able to.

He might be spared much of the pain Walter went through, when he realized he'd never connect with his own dad.

He might have a chance to have those happy moments, those Kodak moments, those instants of perfect familial joy that he saw on TV and in movies. (but had never really experienced himself)

He can't deny him that.

Not when it hurts him to see the boy genius upset.

Not when it hurts him to see Paige upset as a result.

But at the same time, he can't allow Ralph to hide and conceal his genius, to deny who he really is, either, in an attempt to connect with Drew.

Not when Ralph lights up when they talk probabilities and algorithms and potentialities and interesting geometric patterns.

Not when it makes him feel a little warmer on the inside when he does that. Not when that makes him want to grin.

Not when it makes him feel even warmer on the inside when he sees Paige beam as a result. Not when the cumulative effect of her happiness and Ralph's makes him want to do a happy dance, as bizarre and pointless that would be.

Walter is one of the very few people in the world who can solve this problem. He is one of the very few people in the world who can give Ralph a fighting chance to connect with his dad, and help him to accept and embrace his genius at the same time.

So he promises Paige he will help.

For Ralph's sake.

(And for her sake. Even if that scares him a little because of what he thinks that could mean.)

(And for his sake. Even if that's terribly selfish of him.)

(And maybe, just maybe- a little bit for Drew's sake too. Because, now, he sees the man does seem to be genuinely trying. He is genuinely trying to connect to his son, trying to reach out and have a family. He is here for that reason. Even if his track record is terrible, he's trying now.

Walter can't judge a man for only trying now. Walter can't judge a man who is desperately trying to reach out, trying to forge a connection, trying to forge a family.

Not when he is also that man.)

All this is confusing him. And upsetting him. And he really doesn't want to think about it.

(Even though it is completely consuming his thoughts.)

So, he still needs a distraction.

He may have to re-evaluate his choice of street racing.

(But he needs to do it one more time. It's the only way to get out of the mess he's in.)

(Besides, it's meditative.)

He reaches for the keys.