Passing By

A Short Story

Chapter 7- Fear

I didn't sleep that night.

I stayed in the library until the storm had passed. The thunder and lightning didn't even frighten me. How could it? My mind was too consumed with thoughts of Edward to care. After what seemed to be no time at all, the sky started to fade from black to the pearly gray of pre-dawn. I knew Edward would be getting up soon, and I couldn't face him.

So I ran upstairs and locked myself in my room. I listened for him, but I didn't hear anything. I stared out my window and watched the sun rise. I wasn't really aware of anything except the soft changing of the light as the morning dragged on. I thought I may have heard knocking on my front door. Even so, I was in no mood to be polite. I would just rather let them assume that I was out for the day.

Strangely, I didn't cry. I imagined that I would. There were so many emotions running through my head, but I just… didn't. It was like my mind was searching for the trigger to release all that I was feeling. But, it couldn't pinpoint what that was. So I was caught in some thoughtless limbo until that happened.

It wasn't until it was nearly noon that I mustered up the courage to venture downstairs.

I crept down the stairs, careful not to make them creek, still completely unsure as to what to say to him. His voice echoed in my mind.

"What is a person supposed to do with that?"

No, Edward. What was a person supposed to do with you and everything that you had told me yesterday?

He had admitted so much to me. He had said things that I thought only were only said between two people very much in love. Was he just flustered? Was he just saying those things to appease me?

Or did he really mean them?

I had no way of knowing until I talked to him, so I made up my mind that I would be brave and face him, face whatever was going on in his mind. I started with the garden and the library, he wasn't in either place. I searched the whole first floor, leaving the kitchen for last. If he wasn't there, he was most likely in his room, and I would not disturb him there.

I peered around the door into the kitchen only to be met with empty space. I huffed and turned to go back to my room to sulk for the remainder of the day, when something on the table caught my eye.

I ran over and grabbed the folded sheet of paper and slowly opened it.

Bella,

I've gone to town for the day.

You can expect me for dinner.

-E.C.

His cold, formal words struck a sour chord on my heart. I did not know what to make of them. All of those warm and caring words from the night before faded away. He had finally said thank you and that would be the end of it. He thought highly of me, but he wanted nothing more to do with me. I could understand that.

I sat the note down on the table face up and read it over and over again. Each time it became more difficult to hold back the tears.

There was nothing I could do, I had let my feelings for him grow beyond what my heart could handle, there was no denying that now. But, with the knowledge that he was innocent and with his family surely wishing his return home, he would leave me and go back to where he belonged.

And I would do everything in my power to make sure that's exactly what happened. My life be damned, he had suffered enough. It won't matter what happens to me after he leaves, just as long as he's happy.

I couldn't see the words before me anymore. I shoved away from the table and stumbled to the door. I needed to get away from this place.

It was late afternoon now; the sun was starting to paint the sky orange and yellow. People crowded the streets as they made their way home from a long day at work. Children squealed as they played, husbands and wives embraced, friends laughed.

None of it mattered to me.

I dashed up and down the cobblestone streets until I reached the park.

I quickly navigated through the tress and the brush until I came to my meadow. It was calm and serene. Just what I needed.

I sat on the familiar grass and let the afternoon sun warm my skin. I could feel peace slowly settle in my limbs. Whatever was to happen between Edward and me… I was going to let happen. I knew that he didn't feel for me what I felt for him.

I was only happy that he had finally admitted he was grateful to me.

Besides, even if he had some stirrings of infatuation for me boiling under his skin, he didn't belong here. He belonged in England, with his family.

I sat for a while longer and the heat soon began to get to me. I didn't think I could handle going home just yet. I needed to just pretend to be normal for just a while longer.

Alice. I'd go see Alice. That should help me keep my new found peace in place for just a while longer. I had no doubts that when I faced Edward again, I would lose all composure and allow those feelings of want and desire to creep up my spine.

I had to control those urges if I was ever to let him go. So, the longer I stayed away from him, the better.

I got up and brushed the back of my dress, attempting to rid it of any stains that may have accumulated during my stay.

I lifted the hem of my dress to allow my legs more freedom to walk. I navigated through the woods until I came upon the secluded path that would take me back to the front gates of the park. But, I was not met with the seclusion I was expecting.

Just off the path, in a thick patch of trees, there were a man and a woman locked in an intimate embrace. I could see the woman's fingers digging into the man's shoulders. He had her pressed back against the trunk of a tree, covering her body with his. One of his hands was gripping the bark of the tree beside the woman's head; the other was fumbling with the front of her bodice. I could not see their faces.

I blushed furiously and turned to hurry away so they could have their privacy. But, then I heard a strangled squeak come from the girl.

"Please… stop."

I was frozen for a moment, waiting for the man to step away, or at the very least, for him to stop his pawing at her. Neither of those things happened. He continued as if she hadn't said a word. Her fingers still bit into his shoulders, but I realized now that I hadn't been witnessing her passion but her attempts to push him away from her, to make him stop. I felt my embarrassment evaporate and rage take its place before I had time to think. And the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"What is going on?"

The man pushed away from the tree and turned to look at me. I gasped.

It was Demetri.

"Bella Swan. I think you should leave."

I locked my knees and narrowed my eyes.

Demetri took a step forward, towards me, his eyes blazing.

Just then I heard some people talking and laughing from behind me. A frightened expression came over Demetri's face, and quickly he stalked off in the opposite direction, throwing me one last glare before he did. I ran over to the woman, who had sunk to the ground as soon as Demetri released her. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy.

"Oh my Lord, are you alright?"

Only when I finally reached her did I realize who she was.

"Jessamine," I cried.

"Oh Bella, I was so scared!"

"Tell me exactly what happened," I demanded.

"Demetri came by my house and… well, I know I'm supposed to have a chaperone, but… I wanted so badly to be alone with him," she admitted sheepishly.

"What did he do to you?"

Her face went from red to ghostly white in an instant. "Nothing," she said too quickly. "He just… at first he said he wanted us to become closer. He kissed my hand and my forehead. .. He brought me here so that we wouldn't be spotted alone, and I thought it was terribly romantic. But, then… He wouldn't stop. He just… pushed me back against that tree. He was… kissing my neck and… Oh Bella, it was awful."

"I'm just happy that you're alright! Come now, we'll go straight to Charles, and he'll get this sorted out."

"No," she shouted.

"Why on Earth not!"

"You cannot tell anyone. My reputation… I'll be ruined if word of this got out. Please, Bella. Swear that you won't tell a soul!"

"Jessamine… I don't know…"

"Please…" she begged.

Jessamine and I had never been close. There was no secret about that. But, seeing her sitting on the dirty ground, looking so broken, begging me for my silence, I could not refuse her. I would have to think of another way to handle Demetri.

"Alright, you have my word. Not a soul."

"Thank you Bella," she nearly sobbed.

I stood and reached out my hand to help her stand. I walked with her all the way back to her home. She tried to refuse, but I insisted. I was not going to leave her alone.

After Jessamine was safely inside, I noticed that the sky was starting to turn slightly pink. Luckily, Alice's home was not far from where I was. I needed to see her now. Possibly more than I did before.

I reached the familiar house and knocked on the door. The maid answered, and I asked to see Alice.

Because it was Alice, she appeared at the top of the staircase before the front door had closed.

"Bella! What a pleasant surprise," she called as she glided down the stairs.

She reached the bottom and took a long look at my face. Without another word she grabbed my hand and led me up stairs to her bedroom. Once we were alone, she turned and blurted, "You will tell me what's wrong this very instant."

"Everything, Alice. I don't even know where to start…" I said, my mind wandering back and forth. First I thought of Jessamine and how I hoped that she was alright. She wasn't hurt, just shaken. Then, suddenly I thought of Edward once again. My head fell into my hands as I thought his name.

"It's him, isn't it?"

I looked up, tears clouding in my eyes.

"You love him."

That was it. That was the unfound thought my brain had been searching for. And there was no stopping it now.

My tears finally spilled over as they had been wanting to do since Edward's speech last night. Alice stroked my hair, and I began to speak.

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I explained everything…from the chores he had done for me up to and including his speech from the night before. And in my selfishness, Jessamine fell further and further away from my thoughts.

Much to my surprise Alice believed Edward's story too.

"I must admit, I didn't trust him at first. But, after seeing the way he acted around you, after seeing that he was better than all the men in this city combined, how can I not believe he is innocent?"

"I know Alice. I want so much to help him, to prove to the courts that he really didn't do it."

"It doesn't seem like there's anything you can do… but, does it matter really? If you're really in love and really act like a married couple, what does it matter?"

"Two things are wrong with that, Alice. First, it does matter. Everyone needs to know the truth. Second, he doesn't see me that way…like a true wife."

"Are you mad? Why would he say all those wonderful things to you if he didn't feel something?"

"He did feel something," I admitted, "He's glad that I saved him, but he just wants to go home. He just wants to forget the last three years, especially the last few weeks…"

"Bella…"

"Look Alice, thank you, truly. But, why would he want to be with me? I'm plain and obviously crazy; he could have the finest women in… France."

I'd almost said England. But, I could not let Alice know that I believed his intentions were to high tail it back there as fast as his legs would take him. He had been loyal to me so far, but that was before I knew the truth. His family would still want him. He wouldn't want to stay with me now.

"I can't change how he feels, so I'm just going to make the best of it… and try to not cry in front of him."

"Oh, ma chère," Alice said, pulling me into a hug.

I opened my eyes and noticed that it was starting to get dark outside. Edward would be home soon, and I wanted him to have a hot meal.

"I should go," I said.

"No, stay here, Bella. You have too much on your mind right now. Let him cook his own meal."

I smiled slightly. Alice knew me too well. "No, I didn't leave a note. I don't want him to worry about me."

Alice got a very strange look on her face and put her hands on her hips, "Uh huh, if he doesn't care about you, why would he worry?" she asked smugly.

"Drop it, please. I'm going home."

"Fine, Bella. Please be safe."

"I will. Goodnight and thank you."

"Anytime."

I bid farewell to Monsieur and Madame Brandon and strode out into the night.

It was much later than I had originally thought, the lamp lights were already lit.

The summer heat caused a strange sticky feeling to linger in the air. As I walked, I could feel the sweat start to form on the back of my neck. My mind wandered to a nice long bath to sooth my muscles and my worries.

I passed familiar buildings and heard familiar sounds. I took a deep breath and smacked my lips as the hot, sticky, air made its way down my throat. I blinked and let my eyes close for just a second longer than normal, trying to calm myself and enjoy the peace before I made it home. I opened my eyes.

The flash of darkness as something crossed the light in front of me caused my blood to run cold. The sweat on the back of my neck turned to freezing chills, and the air was suddenly too thin to breathe. Belatedly, I remembered my promise to both Charles and Edward that I wouldn't wander around alone.

I didn't have time to react beyond that.

A dark figure was there and suddenly a hand covered my mouth. The skin felt rough and scratchy, and I felt his moldy breath on my neck, which he promptly licked.

I screamed, but it came out as a muffled sob.

I tried to stamp on his foot, but I missed.

The unknown man grabbed my hair and threw me down to the ground, twisting my ankle in the process.

My head knocked against a brick wall. I clutched the wound in an attempt to somehow dull the pain.

It didn't help.

I could see the figure hovering over me, outlined by the soft, yellow glow of the lamps.

I refused to close my eyes. I stared the figure down, letting him know that while I was afraid, I would not let him get away with this, I would not make it easy for him.

I would not die without a fight.

The blow to my head was making my thoughts fuzzy. But suddenly I realized that there was something familiar about the size and shape of the shadowy figure before me. Without conscious thought, the man's name came unbidden to my lips.

"Demetri?"

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*hides*

See you next week.

Love,

Delta