Fight

August 23, 2011

Dear Diary,

Duff paused. He wrote the first two words, check. But it all seemed so silly. Not once in his life did he ever write in records anything of his life. Now, at 31 years old, Duff wrote the words 'Dear Diary' for the first time. Duff never even remembered smiling for any pictures. There was no history on him, but now thanks to his psychologist, there would be. The psychologist said the writing is a calming benefit in its own, but a log of Duff's day, each day, may help some understanding.

'Meh, eh need eh new hobby anyway' Duff thought.

Dear Diary,

Andrea has been weird lately. I hardly saw her all day. Usually she is on top of me everywhere I go, and if she isn't, she notifies me that she will be occupied. I don't know where she is or what she's doing, and I have mixed feelings about it. I feel suspicious that she is doing something behind my back, but I find that hard to believe. I also feel worried in a way, for I do care about her…

Duff paused.

…..I can't believe I even wrote that down.

Not sure what to write after that surprising self-admittance, he got up, closed his book and placed it under his mattress. Duff changed into a casual outfit of jeans and a sweater, and went downstairs for breakfast. To his surprise, Andrea was in the kitchen cooking for him, which she usually did anyway.

"Hey Duffy." She said in her overly peppy voice, while frying some eggs in a pan.

Duff rolled his eyes and huffed. "How many times do eh have te keep tellin' ye…don' call meh tha'!" He sat down at the table.

Andrea pouted. "But it's cute."

"Eh don' care if ye think it's cute, eh think it's annoying!"

"Fine, fine smart mouth. Here." She handed him a plate of eggs and toast, a typical meal that she liked to serve him. Duff grew up never eating this meal once in his life, but now suddenly after hiring an American sidekick his meals change entirely.

Duff had been living alone for quite some time after kicking his father out of his own home. Then, he decided that he could have better odds at being a villain by hiring some assistance. He liked to refer Andrea as his 'caddy', to play with his golf theme. Having someone to live with after so many years of living alone changed a lot. Duff had to change his habits at first, but then once he realized that she didn't care what he did and was perfectly comfortable around him just as he was perfectly comfortable around her, he went back to living as he normally did, and essentially, Andrea became a part of his family. He ended up telling her everything about his life, just because she would listen. He told her everything from being abused as a child to his daughter to his favorite things to do to his worst habits and uncontrollable issues. She was like a young, quirky, not so innocent Carol that had been missing in his life. She became his best friend, and for hours Duff would sit with her on the couch just talking. She gave him advice on everything, and Duff realized that she was a better psychologist than any counselor he has ever seen. He trusted her diary idea would work, since all her other ones did.

As Duff ate, he stared at the seat across from him. All he could think about for the past decade or so was how much he missed the little girl who used to sit across from him and eat breakfast with him. Now, that seat was taken by a bright young woman who was his best friend and who knew more about himself than he knew. Not that he didn't like her company, he just missed his daughter.

Duff thought he would ask Andrea some questions to see if she would spill anything on her odd disappearances.

"So…lassie."

"Oh I see how it is…I call you Duffy and so now you call me lassie, after I keep telling you I think it sounds like you are calling me that fluffy dog."

Duff smiled. Her sense of humor was uplifting, even in the morning before he has his coffee.

"Tha's right…by te way, whut's been goin' ehn wit ye? Ye've been mysterious lately." He joked.

"Oh…I don't know. Nothing is going on, I'm fine." She replied, with the slightest hint of obscurity to her voice.

Duff didn't ask any more questions, but he could tell she was lying and that something was up. 'Boyfriend', he figured.

But what Duff didn't know was that a fellow villain was secretly staying at Duff's castle with the help of his sidekick, and that villain was Shego.

"Sooo…" Andrea said, sitting in her room with Shego.

"Do you think he will mind?" Shego asked, referring to Duff.

"Pssh…yes." Andrea looked to the ground and almost worried for this stranger. Andrea knew who she was, so when she called the castle asking if she could stay for a few weeks she thought Duff wouldn't mind, since she was an ally. Now that she thought about it, she thought he would mind very much, based on the way he's been acting lately, which was very unstable.

"So what happened anyway?" Andrea asked, curious. "I understand if you don't want to tell me though since you don't really know me."

Shego looked up. "With Duff? Or…"

'With Duff? What happened with her and Duff?" Andrea thought.

"N-no….why you needed a place to stay."

Shego rolled her eyes. "Dr. D is just…the way he's been acting lately…ugh."

"Dr. D…oh Drakken? I remember Duff mentioning him a few times."

Shego nod her head. "He just won't leave me alone."

Andrea remembered Duff associating the word 'annoying' with 'Drakken'.

"In what way? Is he annoying you with, like, a lot of work or annoying you socially?"

"No like…he wants me to…ya know…be with him." Shego mumbled that last part.

"Oh...but you don't like him that way?" Andrea asked. She thought it was silly to ask, since Shego kind of made that obvious. But the story with her and her boss still lingered in her mind. What happened between them? Why didn't Shego want Duff to know she was in his castle after all? Was it because she told Shego that Duff had been a heavy alcoholic lately, and that he went into many rages?

"Then why come here of all places to get away?" Andrea asked.

Shego said nothing, but she looked too awkward to answer. Little did Andrea know both of her questions pretty much had the same answer.

Suddenly, Duff's voice could be heard downstairs. "Andrea?" he called. His voice was loud and wavered a bit…Andrea could already tell he was drunk. She saw him drinking this morning, so she knew this would come. She was almost afraid of what he wanted. Andrea didn't blame him, though. He had a right to be upset with his life. Social services took away his daughter whom he loved so much, he had almost no friends, no love life, and his job was to be a dirty criminal. Andrea knew that she was a miracle in his life. To be his one and only true friend, to be someone to care for him and to listen, was the best thing that has happened to Duff in about a decade or more.

Shego froze when Duff called for his sidekick. Andrea turned to Shego. "I'll be right back...see what he wants. He's been a bit on edge lately. Maybe he's getting suspicious." With that, Andrea used her power to teleport out of the room and downstairs to her boss. Shego was nervous.

Andrea teleported to where Duff was, which was the kitchen. He was holding a bottle of whiskey.

"Where 'ave ye been?" he growled.

"In my room." Andrea answered innocently.

"Doin' whut?"

"Reading." She quickly lied.

"Eh don' believe ye." He snapped back just as quickly.

Andrea didn't know what to say. How could she convince him that nothing was wrong? She was beginning to think she couldn't.

"Eh know yer hidin' somethin', Andrea. Eh didn' hire no sidekick so she could go behind meh fuckin' back!" he gripped the whiskey bottle tighter.

'Oh boy…now he's throwing out the curse words at me'. "Duff…you know I wouldn't ever try and hurt you. I'm your friend and I'm always here for you. I love and care about you like you're my big brother or something."

Duff was an angry drunk, and Andrea knew he wouldn't calm down after those heartfelt words. Though, Andrea thought she could almost see something like warmth through his eyes.

It took Duff a few moments to build up his wall again and yell back with wrath. "Whut are ye hidin'!"

Shego opened the door slightly upstairs, and peaked out after hearing all the yelling.

Andrea knew she couldn't hide anything from her boss. She didn't want to, but also because he always found out about everything. His security systems on the island were the top of all super villains, literally. He was rated number one in the Villains magazine. Andrea was surprised he didn't have security cameras around the castle. But then again…it was possible. Then she thought if he did have them, he would know about Shego…unless he was testing her.

The paranoia made Andrea feel like she was going crazy. She began to cry. She took Duff's arm and kneeled to him. "Duff stop! Please, there's nothing to get mad about! It's nothing!"

Given the fact that she wouldn't give him a straight answer, Duff figured he would take matters into his own hands. He let himself loose from her grasp and left the kitchen. He clomped up the stairs heavily with Andrea running behind him and Shego, who was watching, gasped and quickly closed the door. Andrea then teleported in front of him on the top of the stairs to make him stop, but he pushed her aside. He grabbed the handle of her bedroom and pushed the door open: the room was empty. Shego was hiding in the closet.

"S-see…it's nothing." Andrea mumbled.

Duff growled a little, seeing that maybe his sidekick was right, and gave up. He let go of the door handle and went back downstairs.

Andrea hurried in her room without hesitation and closed the door. Shego opened the closet door and got out. She sighed, and saw as Andrea had a crazed look on her face.

"…that was scary." She commented.

Shego also had a look on her face. It wasn't fear, it was anxiety. Just seeing Duff made her feel extremely nervous.

"He is so going to put up security cameras now and be extra paranoid…" Andrea mumbled as she paced the room.

Shego looked up. "Wait what?"

"Oh yeah…he isn't convinced that nothing is up. I can tell. He's going to keep popping in to try and catch us now."

Shego rolled her eyes and Andrea laughed a little in response. "That's D for ya."

"Is he always that drunk?" Shego asked. Andrea nod her head.

"Oh yeah…I mean, lately. Not always but for some reason he has these periods that last a certain amount of time…could be a few days, a few weeks, even a few months where he just goes into this drunken, druggie state."

"And when he isn't like that?" Shego put her hands on her hips.

"He is in his lab working and only comes out to get more coffee. I swear he doesn't go to the bathroom, eat or sleep and it baffles me how he manages."

Shego tried to think of the possibilities but they just gave her ideas she did not want to imagine.

"Well…if I need to go somewhere and leave this room I can go when he is sleeping…" Shego said.

Suddenly, Duff opened the door and caught them. He looked at Shego with the most astounded face, like she was the last person on Earth he expected to see.

Shego stared at him and continued. "…or I will let him know I am here to visit now!"

Andrea gasped. Duff looked at Shego and yelled obnoxiously and angrily in his drunken state. "Whut te hell are ye doin' 'ere!"

"I came to see Andrea…" Shego replied in a calm manner.

"Bullshit! Ye don' even know her! Whut are ye doin' 'ere?" he asked again. Duff turned to his sidekick and grabbed her arm…tight. She yelped as he screamed in her face. "Why'd ye allow her in, eh specifically said nae visitors!"

Andrea started to tear, but Duff had impaired judgement from the alcohol. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know he was hurting her, mentally and physically. Shego grabbed Duff's arm and pulled him away from her.

"Leave her alone! She is helping me."

Duff let go of his sidekick and turned to Shego now. He snapped at her visciously, and Shego was actually a little scared. She had never seen Duff this way…she never even knew this side of him existed. Shego knew nothing of Duff except for the few times he had worked with her and Dr. Drakken. She thought his reputation was a bit lame but still good, and overall he was a goofy guy. Her opinion changed completely.

"Helping ye wit whut!" Duff grabbed her too, in the same way he grabbed his sidekick.

Shego tried pulling away but couldn't. He was too strong…she never knew he was that strong. Her voice wavered a little bit from panic. "I don't want to be home right now! Personal reasons!"

Duff was in her face and was acting very, very scary. "Eh don' fuckin' care. GET OUTTEH MEH CASTLE!" He yelled, then he tightened his grip on her, hurting her more, and pushed her out the room. She fell to the floor and yelled without getting up.

"I'm NOT leaving!"

"Aye, ye are!" Duff started kicking her towards the stairs.

Shego got up and pushed him right back. They struggled in the hallway for a few minutes fighting as Andrea watched helpless. Suddenly, Duff got a hold of Shego and threw her down the stairs. Andrea screamed and Shego made a loud 'thump' as she hit the wood floor. She hit her side on the railing of the stairs as she took her painful fall.

In response to Andrea's scream, Duff turned around and attacked her. In his mind, all he could think about was how she betrayed him. He let his walls come down for her and she went behind his back. She lied to him. She broke his heart.

Shego grabbed the railing and tried standing but couldn't. Something was broken.

Duff grabbed Andrea after beating her and threw her down the stairs as well. She screamed and teleported out on the fall before she got hurt even more.

Shego held her side as Duff came down to get to her again. He grabbed her and forced her up, and she groaned loudly.

"Eh thought eh told ye te get outteh meh castle..."

Duff must have grabbed her in the wrong spot because Shego made a loud, painful noise. Duff threw her to the floor and kicked her, beat her, made her bleed, made her beg, made her cry. He made her beautiful green skin a dark, agonizing black.

Andrea tried jumping on his back, which made him stop attacking Shego. She groaned on the floor and was in need of a hospital. If Andrea hadn't stopped Duff, he would have probably beaten Shego to death.

"Stop, stop!" Andrea cried as Duff grabbed her and pulled her off his back. She then stood in front of him, tears rolling down her face and dripping all over her tartan jumpsuit and Duff's kilt when he was about to punch her.

Instead, she gave him a kiss.

"Mm!" Duff groaned as his violence was put on hold by a woman he cared for very much. She kissed him for a while until she felt he was calm enough to stop hurting her or Shego, and then she took a step back and stopped.

Duff panted and looked at her like she had seven heads, but also as if he was delighted to see her multiple body parts.

"Duff…h-help." Andrea groaned. Duff looked at her black eye, bruised face, bloody nose and lip. He looked down at Shego who was….revolting to look at.

"What have eh done…" Duff whispered. He took Andrea, gently, and together they helped Shego on the couch. She cried out when they put their hands on her, and they could tell she was going through hell. Duff immediately called a doctor he knew, and had an instant meltdown—one that didn't involve whiskey and methamphetamine.

As Duff waited for the doctor to arrive he watched Andrea and Shego in the other room. Shego was barely able to keep herself conscious. Andrea was able to function, but was battered terribly and was probably in so much pain. How could he do this? This was the first time he actually did something terrible from the result of being an alcoholic. He felt like his father, and that was a sign he did not like to see. And when Andrea…kissed him he almost instantly stopped. But she kissed him! Why did she do that? Was that to try and prevent his violence or was there something more? Did she actually feel for him, more than a best friend? So many thoughts spinned around in his head, but the one thought that kept popping up more than anything was, 'I almost killed them'.

If Andrea hadn't stopped him, he would have. He knew he would have. He had no control. He needed help. He was an alcoholic, a drug addict, and a murder. He killed before, but now he can't control his emotions anymore. He would get overly angry, throw things, break things, and usually not furniture. What was wrong with him? Duff didn't know what help to seek but he knew he needed it. But before any of that, he needed to apologize to Andrea and Shego…and he knew they couldn't forgive him for what he did…and for what he almost did. He couldn't possibly imagine them to understand…but somehow, they did.

When Duff apologized to Andrea she hugged him and didn't say a word. Duff almost wanted to kiss her, but he didn't. She told him with her body language that she was thinking the same as him: he needed help. This wasn't normal. Andrea knew that, and she was going to stick by his side and help him. She had his back, and she wasn't going to let this little mishap stop that. Duff didn't feel mad at all for her lying to him about Shego…he felt too guilty.

What baffled him even more was Shego's reaction. She actually forgave him, but he had no clue why or how. She had every reason to hate him, but instead she told him that it was okay. Duff was so confused, it bothered him for weeks as to why Shego forgave him for almost killing her. As the weeks went by, and after Duff found out he had a disorder, after Andrea and Shego healed from most of their bruises, and even weeks after that, after Shego's broken rib healed, it still baffled him. Shego couldn't have possibly known about his anger disorder at the time, but in the future, after so much worry and confusion, Duff eventually found out why she forgave him, and why she always acted so nervous around him. Also, Andrea and Duff didn't kiss after the incident. Andrea was too afraid of messing their friendship up and complicating things, even if they did think their friendship could go to the next level, and also someone else was in the picture. Andrea didn't want to ruin that either, even if she did stick by Duff's side every step of the way, never giving up with him.

Ever.