Hey!
Sorry for the long break between chapters. I went back to Ireland for sometime and took a break from writing. Back in Japan now and hope to power through with more chapters!
Enjoy :)
Passage from Nathala B. Omerson's Diary
One problem the Tomoedan government still struggle to deal with, is agriculture.
The low Eastern and Southern lands are prone to floods and spells of drought, making the lands dry and farming almost impossible. The only survivor of such harsh weather conditions, is the high lands of the West, which every year without fail produces enough food to supply to all of Tomoeda. The West, being larger than the East, North and South combined has plenty of room to farm enough raw materials to not only keep the Tomoedan economy up, but to keeps us all out of the grasp of starvation.
This information has not gone unnoticed by the military or the monarch. With every passing year, the ration distribution has gone in favour of the North, leaving Westerners with bare minimum. The unfairness of which, I don't think needs explaining.
The Military have threatened and used fear to keep western farmers working in unfair and unsanitary conditions for below minimum wage.
But what can they do?
Nothing.
For now, they can do nothing.
X x x
The train rattled loudly but Sakura was too angry to notice.
She stood wedged between two men in suits and a mother with a baby nestled in her arms. She held onto a pole to keep from falling when the train stopped. In the other she held onto the letter she received yesterday morning. Her eyes read it over and over again, each time getting angrier and angrier.
'Bastard' she muttered in Mahr Bratain which got her a sideways glance from the man beside her.
She stepped off the train and headed straight for the military Base. Her pass card was good for one more day before she'd have to renew it. She clamped her jaw shut to keep from muttering to herself. All night in her quiet house she tossed and turned wondering if she was blowing this out of proportion, if maybe she should just be happy about it in instead of questioning the motives behind it.
She was thankful when her card swiped her through without a problem and headed straight for his office.
Her mind tried to conjure up the exact right words to say but her brain was still recycling old thoughts. It's been doing that a lot recently. She knew why, she just didn't want to admit to herself that he had left her feeling in a permanent state of limbo since their last encounter, since they were together, barely clothed, sweaty…
Stop it! She said scolding herself. Stop thinking about that. It's over and never to be spoken of again.
Sakura walked quickly along the sand training field with her head low. She didn't want unnecessary attention from others or to draw attention to the fact that she had finished her work days ago.
"Kinomoto-san!" She heard from behind her followed by the excited boot steps coming towards her.
"I can't talk today Chiharu." Sakura said sternly without looking at her.
"So yesterday I shot a bottle off a barrel with a hand pistol because James Fowler bet his lunch that I couldn't because I injured by arm during training but then I proved him wrong and now Jenny Rice bet a weeks worth of chores that she can shoot two bottles off-"
"That's great Chiharu, now go away." Sakura said not feeling up to one of Chiharu's long stories that go nowhere.
"Oh, are you looking for Lieutenant Colonel Li? Oh I'm so glad! I haven't seen you two together in such a long time I thought your guys were having a lover's quarrel." She said with too much giddiness that made Sakura stop in her tracks and face her with astonishment.
As always, Cadet Chiharu had her hair in two pigtails with her straw blonde fringe poking out from under her hat. She smiled giddily, displaying her crooked tooth.
"I'm going to ignore what you just said." Sakura said in a controlled voice. "Do you know where Sy- Lieutenant Colonel Li is?"
"Umm…" Chiharu scratched her head with her finger. "Usually on Friday's he comes out to train us but today, I think he's in his office. He seems really busy lately."
Sakura nodded and began to walk away.
"I hope you guys make up!" Chiharu called before skipping away.
X x x
Marianne was replying to emails when Sakura came to her desk with a face like thunder.
"Is he in?" Sakura asked before Marianne could tell her to leave.
"Yes, but-"
"Is he in a meeting?"
"No, but as I was trying to say-"
Sakura walked past her desk without looking back at her.
"Lieutenant Colonel Li doesn't want to be distracted! I suggest you leave."
Sakura was already opening the door before Marianne could finish her sentence.
Syaoran was at his desk reading over the same files and reports again and again. He pinched his temples. The dots simply weren't joining up. Tomoyo was last caught on tape moments before the explosion went off in the asylum, then nothing. None of the bodies identified were Tomoyo. She seemed to have simply vanished into thin air. Not that Lieutenant General Mizuki or General Li were lending any resources to help with finding her.
Although, it looks like the unit is stretched out trying to locate the rebels.
The media were keeping hush about it. The priority is, and always was, to keep a sense or order within Tomoeda. A missing princess was disastrous to the delicate balance. He had read an article in the 'Tomoedan Mirror' which simply stated that the princess had fallen the victim of the flu and would not be about for social or political events. Syaoran felt most sorry for the King and Queen, who had to continue as normal knowing their daughter was out there somewhere, dead, or alive.
Sonomi had rang him more times than he could count. In the end, he had to ignore her calls.
Syaoran refocused his attention onto the files.
Kinomoto Touya. There were still no breakthrough with that case. And it was driving Meiling insane.
His head was fuzzy. He wished he could be out with the cadets instead. He loathed office work, loathed his unearned promotion that meant more paper pushing than actual on the ground work.
The door opened suddenly. Syaoran ripped open a desk drawer and dumped the files into it before the person could see. Syaoran froze to see Sakura standing in front of his desk with a look of disdain on her face.
Syaoran felt a million thoughts fly through his head. They hadn't spoken since they had slept together. He lost count of the amount of times he attempted to call her, to get on a train heading East but always talked himself out of it.
He opened his mouth but she cut across him.
"I don't need your help. For anything." She said low but fiercely.
Syaoran slowly stood up and hoped she would elaborate more.
"I'm not sure I follow."
"I got a job today."
Again, Syaoran hoped she would elaborate. He wondered if he had somehow stepped on her toes or interfered in some way. But as far as he knew, he was keeping himself away.
"That's…good news I presume?"
"Don't pretend like you had nothing to do with it."
"I assure you, I have no idea what you are talking about."
"You're telling me you've had nothing to do with me getting a job at the 'Tomoedan Mirror', the most prestigious newspaper in Tomoeda. That honestly had nothing to do with you?" She said and tossed her job offer letter on the table
"That's…amazing. Congrat-"
"I didn't sleep with to get any favours, ok!?"
"Christ, keep your voice down." He said in panic. "Does your psychotic, suspicious mind actually think I had anything to do with this? Media and publications isn't even anywhere near my department."
Sakura wanted to come back with a witty remark, but doubt kept her silent. Syaoran looked like he was telling the truth.
"So…this had nothing to do with you…with us?"
Syaoran shook his head and crossed his arms.
"Well then…how?" She asked starting her regret the whole scene she was causing.
"Well…did you apply for the job?"
"Yeah but…I didn't think I'd get it."
Syaoran shrugged and looked at her like 'don't you feel like a fool now.'
"Congratulations." He said trying to hide a smirk.
Sakura frowned and looked away as a blush invaded her cheeks. "It's only an internship." She muttered.
"When do you start?" He asked easing his way around the table, closing the gap between them. Sakura awkwardly swayed and looked up at the impressive bookshelf's in his office.
"I'm meeting the boss at two."
Syaoran checked his watch. It was only just gone ten.
"So…you came in four hours early out of your way just to yell at me?" He said lightly with some humour, testing out the waters. "I thought you'd have more to say."
Sakura opened her mouth to give a witty reply but came up with nothing, then realized he was right. What was her real reason for coming in so abruptly that she didn't even give herself a chance to shower or eat breakfast? If she was so angry, how come the anger evaporated within a short time of seeing him?
When Sakura didn't reply, awkwardness fell into the silence. Images of their night together flooded her mind. The passion, skin on skin, the heat and the cold as he suddenly left. That was the part that annoyed her the most. The fact he left so suddenly, and the fact that she showed him the door. What would have happened if she asked him to stay? Would he have said yes?
Syaoran saw her face drop, sensing her vulnerability, he swooped in.
"About the other night…" He began.
Sakura tensed but did not interrupt him.
"I'm sorry, for how I left things. I just…didn't expect that to happen."
Sakura nodded. She knew she should say something too, but chose silence instead.
"I mean…I could have at least bought you breakfast." It was risky of him to put a funny spin on it.
Her mouth twitched and a small smile broke onto her face. Sakura bit her lip and kept looking over at the bookshelf. Did that mean he didn't have regrets? He wanted it to happen too?
He took another chance and closed the gap between them. Sakura didn't move but regarded him with caution as he stood in front of her.
"I guess…I'm…you know." She mumbled and he nodded. "I can't help but to be…cold…at times."
She felt nervous under his gaze. He brought her chin up with his finger. Beneath her fringe her green eyes were calm. He never thought he could get this close to her. She was allowing him to be near her. When his finger traced her cheekbone delicately they both remembered the feel of each other's skin from their night of passion. They had seen each other naked, at their most vulnerable.
In that moment Sakura couldn't go through the effort of denying it anymore, there was something between them. Something that made her feel warm and distracted her from herself, from her irrationality, suspicion and scepticism. When she thought of him, minutes would go by where she wasn't herself, it felt good.
For once, Syaoran felt in control of their interactions. Her walls were temporarily down. He brushed back her fringe with his fingers and stared deep into her eyes.
How many secret are you hiding? He thought. What is it your keeping from me?
Her face at that moment was of innocence. But Syaoran wondered how much of it was true innocence and naiveite. Her soft pink lips were curved into a smile and Syaoran imagined them whispering secrets to Touya Kinomoto and other unknown possible terrorists.
Perhaps you are the most dangerous of them all.
Syaoran had a vivid image stuck on his mind as he left the Kimonoto house. He noticed an office, presumably Fujitaka's. If Sakura wasn't the link to Touya, maybe her father was. Either way, he would need to get himself back to the Kinomoto house. Sakura would be the key.
Again, Syaoran felt guilt.
The moment was broken when the phone rang harshly, making Sakura flinch backwards. Syaoran swiped it up and held it to his ear. Sakura grabbed her bag and turned to leave but felt Syaoran's hand grab her wrist. It was not a rough grab, nor was it forceful. As Syaoran spoke down the phone he looked at her as a plea to wait.
Sakura relaxed. He kept his hand on her wrist and with a light tug she came forward two steps forward.
Syaoran nodded as he listened to the phonecall.
"You're needed at the General's office today at four p.m." General Mizuki said in her blunt manner.
"I see. What is it about?"
"…You will find out. The General has requested your presence. Don't be late." She said before she hung up.
Syaoran put the phone back onto the receiver and felt his nerves build up immediately. His father wanted to see him…personally. This can't be good. Not after last time.
"Um…I better go." Sakura said after Syaoran stayed in a trance for too long.
He had forgotten her was holding on to her.
"Sorry," He said releasing her.
Sakura lingered as if wanting to say something, she decided against it.
"Wait," He said as she was at the door.
She noted a flutter in her stomach when he stopped her.
"Can I buy you breakfast? It's still early." He said nodding at the clock.
"No." Sakura said bluntly with a hint of a smile.
"Lunch?"
"No."
"Can I walk you to your train later?"
"I can make my own way to the train." She said and placed her hand on the door knob to leave. Syaoran wondered how long it would take to build up that intimacy with her again. Two, maybe three weeks. Too damn long.
Suddenly she turned her head to the side and said over her shoulder. "My father's business trip has been extended two days. I should be home at seven."
Before Syaoran could even respond she was out the door. It thudded lightly behind her and as it did Syaoran smirked.
Sakura Kinomoto was hard to read, but even he could recognize her invitation.
X x x
Unlike last time, Syaoran was relieved to see Meiling and General Lieutenant Mizuki in the General's office.
Although, the same could not be said for Meiling, who was enduring one of Mizuki's berating's. Meiling's face looked like it was desperately trying to conceal fury and fear at the same time. Syaoran had arrived mid-rant and missed whatever made Mizuki so angry.
Syaoran felt for Meiling. When Mizuki was angry, no one wanted to be on the receiving end of it. Lieutenant General Mizuki was a tall and beautiful woman who was always analytical and clinical with everything she approached. But she was intimidating on a whole other level. For her to even raise her voice, you had to have fucked up bad.
"And even though I'm throwing you every single resource available, you're telling me you haven't even gotten hold of a piece of evidence that can lead to Touya Kinomoto or any of the other rebels." She spat.
"We are doing every single thing we can-"
"Yes or no Lieutenant, that's all I want to hear. Yes. Or. No!" General Lieutenant Mizuki was subtly shaking with rage. Her long red hair hung down her back like red rope.
"No, Lieutenant General." Meiling's hands were clasped behind her back so tightly that Syaoran could see her knuckles whiten under the strain.
Mizuki drew in a sharp breath through her nose and looked down at Meiling for what seemed like an eternity. "When I assigned you this case, I thought you were competent enough to do it smoothly and with results. I see now I may have overestimated your abilities."
Meiling winced but didn't dare interrupt Mizuki.
"I forget that you are still young. It was a mistake to promote you so soon." She said calmly but her words were crushing Meiling like a tonne of bricks.
"Please forgive me for interrupting, General Lieutenant, but I promise you it was not a mistake. I will find the rebels even if I have to do it myself I swear-"
"All talk, and yet such little results." Mizuki said.
Meiling was shaking with either rage for herself or fear. Syaoran wanted to interrupt. No one was working harder for the cause of Utopia than Meiling. The dedication of which was all over her face. Restless nights, interrogations, it all showed on her tired eyes.
"And you, Lieutenant Colonel." Mizuki said stabbing her gaze at Syaoran's direction.
Syaoran straightened up and felt his heart thud faster. He wondered if he would now be on the receiving end of Mizuki's rant.
"Don't think I don't know you're poking your nose into Princess Daidouji's disappearance."
Syaoran gulped, unsure of how to reply.
"I've turned a blind eye to it but now I'm giving you a direct order; drop the Daidouji case. It's not up to you to find her. There's already a team looking for her." She said.
Syaoran felt like a child who got caught doing something naughty.
"In fact, drop all your current case work. You're now in charge of terrorist investigation within the western walls. Lieutenant Meiling will hand over all documents relating to it by the end of the week."
"But-"
"Lieutenant Colonel please, don't do this! I can find them I swear! Don't take this case away from me." Meiling pleaded. She had her fists balled up and broke position. There was such hunger in her eyes.
"I agree with Lieutenant Li. I don't know this case as well as she does-"
"I'm sorry," Mizuki said in a dangerously calm voice. "Did I say this was a choice?"
Syaoran and Meiling fell back in line as if suddenly remembering their place.
"This is not up for negotiation. Lieutenant Colonel, for too long you've kept your head down, where things are safe behind the Southern wall." She walked over to him in small, slow steps and stopped right in front of him. "It's time that you get some teeth." She whispered. "We wouldn't want to think that the Lieutenant Colonel is only a paper pusher, now would we?"
Syaoran heard the message behind her words.
"As for you Lieutenant Li, you are in charge of the Cadet's training. They're too soft. I want them training more and ready to work within all side of the walls within the month."
Syaoran glanced over at Meiling, who was glaring back at him with rage. He'd never seen her direct anger at him ever.
"Yes, Lieutenant General." She managed to push through her teeth.
"You're excused." Mizuki said.
Syaoran was glad it was over. He wanted to get Meiling alone and figure a way to calm her down.
"Not you, Lieutenant Colonel." Mizuki said.
Syaoran froze before turning around. Mizuki turned towards the large office desk and saluted sharply before leaving. When the door closed behind them General Li turned in his large chair. Like always, his father's presence was heavy, like no other.
"Sit." He said in his deep voice.
Syaoran sat in front of the General. His hand began to sweat immediately. Syaoran tried to keep his eyes on the General's but they wavered now and again, unable to absorb the judgement behind them. Syaoran's eyes rested on the medals displayed on his uniform for wars which Syaoran only heard about from his father's friends and colleagues.
Syaoran didn't dare to speak, he sat in the silence. Even now, as an adult, Syaoran felt the same intimidation as he did when he was a child. Meetings like this were never to praise him. The General never praised his son, or showed his pride in him. Anything he did well or completed was not to be praised, only expected.
"Syaoran." He said which made Syaoran's chest tighten. The General rarely called him by his first name, only by his military ranking. To say his name, it acknowledged that they were related, that they were, in fact, father and son.
"Why are you running from this?" He said slowly. His face was expressionless.
Syaoran was confused, but chose his words carefully.
"What would I be running from, General Li?"
The General looked at his son. He had hoped that by now his son would be tougher, an up and coming military God. But, he feared he was still a boy. He needed to break that.
"Your responsibilities."
Syaoran felt the familiar sting of failure. His father doubted him, doubted his abilities. He wondered if Syaoran was an embarrassment to him. Would he have preferred a child whose skin was made of steel, who doubted and questioned nothing? Maybe he would have preferred a daughter like Meiling, whose hunger for success always left Syaoran feeling inadequate.
Syaoran stiffened his jaw. For reasons unknown to him, Syaoran had to restore his father's fate in him.
"I won't let you or Utopia down." Syaoran said with such confidence, he even fooled himself.
The General nodded and excused him but didn't take his eyes off his son as he left the room, noting the slight shake in his legs.
Outside the walls of this fathers, Syaoran breathed a sigh of relief. At the end of the large hallway, Meiling was sitting on a chair in a dark corner. She had her hands balled in her hair as if attempting to rip out every strand.
"Meiling," Syaoran whispered as he neared her. He needed to clear things up with her.
Meiling looked up slowly with a thundering glare in her eyes. She wasn't crying, Meiling didn't cry, she just pushed herself on with things. But now with her job taken away from her, where was there to push to?
"Meiling, look, what happened back there-"
"Was to be expected." She spat lowly.
Syaoran blinked and took a step back. She wasn't opening herself up to him.
"What do you mean."
"Oh, cut it out, Syaoran." She hissed and looked at him with venomous eyes. "We both knew this would happen. Sometime or other. I was just a fool to think I could win this one."
"Win what Meiling? I didn't want your case. Lieutenant General made that decision."
Meiling bolted to her feet and took two strides towards him.
Syaoran backed away in surprise.
"And why do you think she did that? Why do you think you got promoted to Lieutenant Colonel? Why do you think it is that I have to work twice as hard to get a fraction of the recognition that you get for doing the minimum?"
Syaoran felt his stomach knot. He knew where this was going, he just didn't want her to say it. But he knew it was coming.
"I have done nothing but give myself to Tomoeda and everything it stands for. And what do you do? You cower behind a desk, do what's expected and get promoted. It sickens me. You don't deserve it and you know it!" She said now on the verge of tears.
Meiling had reached her limit. She had given her all only for it to be given to Syaoran. She took a step back, closed her eyes and calmed herself. When she opened her eyes again she had gained composure.
She swiped her cap from her chair and placed it firmly on her head.
Syaoran said nothing. There was nothing to say, she was right.
"Well, I guess we're all not fortunate enough to be the General's son." She said calmly, knowing that would sting Syaoran.
Syaoran didn't try to stop her as she marched past him, leaving in the dark to wallow in her words.
X x x
Passage from Nathala B. Omerson's Diary
Oh, the media.
The second great oppressor in Tomoeda.
The papers, the radio, and if you're fortunate enough to own one, the t.v. They will bombard you will news of Tomoeda's glory. And we are the ones who are eating it up.
The media is the little persistent voice telling you to rat out your neighbour, you friend, and unfortunately, your family, in the name of Utopia. Don't criticize the media, oh no. The voice of resistance has no platform in Tomoeda.
The Tomoedan media is a pillar that keeps the regime afloat.
But if it were taken down, the resistance would have an advantage.
X x
Everything Sakura needed to know about working at the 'Tomoedan Mirror' was explained to her within ten minutes by a short brunette named Naoko, who was less than thrilled to have Sakura working there.
"This is your desk where you'll work from. Work hours are up to you as long as you do seven hours a day."
Sakura dropped her bag onto the tiny desk which was still cluttered with the contents from the previous employee. The computer was a much older model compared to her colleagues and her desk was located a little too close to the bathrooms.
Sakura made no gesture to indicate this bothered her. She expected not to be treated equal in the South.
Naoko twisted her lip and looked Sakura up and down. "Punch your card in and out everyday and don't bother the boss."
Sakura nodded and casted an eye around the floor. Everyone's desk was in open space and not in cubicles like she imagined. The place was quiet enough with everyone furiously writing their pieces. Sakura wondered how she got a job here.
"There's a girl from the East here two. Maybe you two will get along." She said.
Sakura hid her scowl. "How kind, thanks."
"One more thing. Everything you write here in monitored, so…." She trailed off.
Sakura crossed her arms. "I wouldn't dream of doing anything un Utopia like." Sakura said with an exaggerated smile.
Naoko ignored her and said; "Someone from higher up will come down to give you your assignment." Naoko left.
Sakura blew hot air out of her cheeks and glanced around. The other co-workers were not subtle at glancing at her. They must have all been from the South and North. The Tomodan Mirror was so prestigious, she certainly felt like an imposter.
"Comfortable?" Someone asked from behind her.
Sakura's eyes flickered up to the tall figure behind her. When her eyes landed on him she bolted upright.
She had forgotten the how tall he was. The icy greyness of his eyes regarded her. She opened her mouth to speak but could not think of what to say. He did not blink as he regarded her.
"Tsukishiro Yue, I'm the CEO of the Tomoedan Mirror. It's your first day I understand." When he spoke, it sounded like an internal commentary rather than a conversation.
Sakura wanted to nod and say that she knew his name, but didn't want to acknowledge their first encounter at the bar where she was shunned because of her name. When she seen him first, she never imagined that Yue was the head of the Tomoedan Mirror, and her boss. She was intimidated.
Why was he wasting his time on an intern like her?
She just nodded.
"Kinomoto Sakura. Thank you for the opportunity to work for you. I'm very honoured-"
"This is you first assignment." He said cutting her off. He didn't care for pleasantries, she liked that.
Sakura took the report and read the assignment. Her face involuntary dropped.
"…The east Tomoedan bake sale?" She couldn't hide the disgust. "Is there…nothing else? I'm good at covering-"
"You could find another job if this doesn't suit." He said with a stony face. Sakura snapped her mouth shut. "Good, we leave in ten minutes."
"Y-you're bringing me."
"Is that a problem?" He asked. The whole office was staring now.
She shook her head and felt nerves shoot through her.
The car journey with Yue was extremely awkward. He doesn't like small talk, neither did she so it should have been fine. Sakura stole glances at him when she could. He had sharp bone structure and small ears. Today he tied his hair back and his silver fringe fell down in tuffs. His long delicate fingers gripped the steering wheel. He drove in silence with no radio. There was a strange, unexplainable attractiveness about Yue that made Sakura nervous. She wondered if he was married, or had a girlfriend.
"Thank you for driving me." She said in almost a whisper.
"I don't like to stay in the office too long." He replied, not taking his eyes off the window.
When they arrived at Marble Lake Park the place was buzzing with eager civilians strolling around with their families. Sakura's stomach twisted. She hated crowds. When they got out of the car Sakura was immediately assaulted by the harsh sun. She looked over at Yue who was in a grey jacket and his half his face under a red scarf, as if it were winter.
"You have two hours." He said and lit up a cigarette and stalked off.
X x x
After forty minutes, Sakura's notepad was still blank.
Children with face paint and balloons squealed as they ran past her. The general vibe was good, but it didn't reach Sakura, who felt herself reminiscing about when her family use to come here. She couldn't remember if she enjoyed it or not. Before her mother passed away from illness, she liked to go out as a family.
"Excuse me miss," Said an elderly lady interrupting her thoughts. "Would you like a free sample? It's made from all-natural products produced right here in the Tomoedan valley-"
"No thanks." Sakura answered and walked off.
She walked all the way to the last stall where few people lingered. While most stalls had almost sold out of their products, one stall at the end had barely sold anything. Sakura wandered over there and heard two women bickering in hushed whispers.
"I told you this was a bad idea!"
"The day isn't over yet, someone might come by."
"Please, this is a disaster. We'll never recover from this. All because of a couple of rumours."
"But what if the rumours are true? What if they're true and we're selling it? Kids buy our product!"
Sakura, intrigued by their panicked whispers, moved closer to them.
"Look, it's just competitors trying to tarnish our name. If we don't acknowledge it, it'll go away."
"But you don't know that. You don't know if the people in the West really-"
The girl with the black bob shushed when the other woman nudged her. They both beamed ridiculously false smiles at Sakura and offered her a sample.
"Like to try one miss? Our fruit bread is made with the most organic materials in Tomoeda-"
"No, tell me why your business is failing." Sakura said sharply and flipped open her notebook. It felt so good when she did that. It reminded her of how much she loved journalism in college, before she suddenly had to give it up.
The two women looked anxious and made side glances at each other. Sakura saw that most of their product had gone unsold.
"Look, we don't want bad press."
"Neither do I." Sakura said in a softer voice. "There's obviously a reason your business is failing. I want to give you good press, it'll only boost Tomoeda's reputation, right?"
Again, the women seemed unsure. But after a moment they caved.
"Some of the other businesses have been spreading rumours about our product. It makes people not want to buy it."
"Rumours like…?"
"Well…we order most of our products in from the West. Their ingredients are far better than anything we can produce here in the East. In fact, we've won countless awards purely from the organic ratio to-"
"Get to the point." Sakura mumbled as she jotted down what they were saying.
"Well…people have been saying that before the Westerners box up the ingredients to be sent, they….they…."
"They piss on the ingredients before shipping it to us!" The other barked in frustration.
Sakura raised an eyebrow and lowered her notepad.
"It's true, well, that's what people are saying. They're saying that those savages do all sorts of dastardly things and enjoy the thoughts of us eating it."
"And why would anyone believe that?"
"Look." She said pointing to the other stalls. "We're all in the same boat. Anyone who imports from the west are failing. Because we're our own company, the product isn't getting thoroughly checked. It's having an impact on East Tomoedan business, not just us."
Sakura couldn't believe she was jotting down such nonsense. She was more amazed at how rumours in East Tomoeda spread at a pathetically fast rate. As she scribbled notes down a thought fleeted dangerously across her mind.
Technically, she didn't know whether or not these rumours were true. No one did. But what if someone were to investigate what was really happening behind the walls of the West?
"Tell me more." Sakura said with a more intrigued tone.
A brilliant plan began to form in her mind.
X x x
"What the fuck is this?" He asked with a scowl breaking his smooth face.
He flicked through the notes she had scribbled down and Sakura held on tight to the notes she had torn out and kept in her pocket. She needed to think this through before telling him, even if he was her boss.
"I can flesh it out when I get home," She said. "Work on it at the weekend."
He turned to face her and there wasn't a shred of confidence on his face. He tossed the notepad onto her lap and muttered something under his breath. She didn't want to piss him off, but she needed to flesh out her plan before speaking.
"Where do you live?" He asked, his voice returning to its dark smoothness.
Sakura blinked twice and stuttered, "I, uh, I don't live far from here. You don't have to drive me home. My house is on Thyn Mahr street-"
Yue had already started the car and was reversing out. Sakura threw on her seatbelt and gulped. She definitely had a weird crush on Yue. It was a strange crush that made her look at him with curiosity and childish fascination. It wasn't the same with Syaoran.
"Shit." She muttered. She had forgotten about her not so subtle invitation she gave Syaoran earlier.
Yue said nothing.
The area of town where Sakura lived was difficult for someone from the outside to navigate. To her surprise, Yue effortlessly weaved in and out of the streets as if he'd done if several times before.
"When did they get rid of Penguin Park?" He asked lowly.
"How do you know about that?" She asked tilting her head towards him. When he didn't reply she said, "About three years ago. Military wanted another base in North East Tomoeda. It had to go."
"Ridiculous." He muttered in Mahr Bratain.
Sakura paled and looked at him. His face was smooth, not acknowledging his transition from English to her native language. Then the penny dropped.
"You're originally from the East." She said changing from English to Mahr Bratain.
"I was. I left a long time ago."
"Why? Why did you switch over? I mean- Why relocate?"
Yue pondered as they waited at the traffic lights. Night was coming and in the darkening light Sakura saw that Yue was far more complicated than she could have ever imagined. It attracted her to him more. His chest rose and fell and his fingers twitched, itching for a cigarette.
"Reasons." He said switching back to English, signalling an end to the interrogation of Yue. "You wouldn't understand yet."
Sakura but her lip to stop from prodding more. 'Yet'..?
His silver hair brushed against his shoulder and Sakura wondered if she had ever seen it before. A younger Yue from years ago around Touya's age. Had they ever crossed paths during the more peaceful times in Tomoeda?
They listened to the radio rattle on in the background.
'In other events, the King signed the 'Military Trust Act' today at the Tomoedan South Base. The Act grants the Military greater powers to protect its citizens, authorize local bases throughout the country, as well as opening other lines for its citizens to report suspicious activity. The King was accompanied by Queen Sonomi. Princess Daidouji however, is still suffering from a non-threatening illness. Utopia wishes her well, and a speedy recovery.'
"I heard Kero Jones died recently." He said suddenly. "You were there, apparently."
Sakura was very careful of how to respond. She had to remind herself that Yue was a very strong presence in Utopian Media. He could easily be spying on her. Yet, she didn't buy into it. He calmed her, unlike the intimidating presence of the General.
"Yes." She replied.
"How did he look?"
Sakura raised her eyebrow at him. She didn't know if she were being cornered for information.
"He looked…like he seen better days."
Yue nodded but a strong emotion passed over his face. Sorrow? Anxiety? Fear…?
She couldn't make him out. It attracted her to him so, but she'd have to watch herself better around him.
"I want to ask you something." He said suddenly.
He was putting Sakura on the edge. She wanted the car journey to be over but at the same time, she was enticed by the mystery around Yue.
"What?"
Yue leaned his head back, as if wondering whether or not he should ask her.
"You dropped out of journalism after a year in University. I want to know why?"
Sakura felt her stomach drop. She didn't expect that. That was an area she really, really didn't want to speak about.
"How did you…"
"Let not beat around the bush here. I'm the head boss of the Tomoedan Mirror, I've looked into your files. I need to know who I'm hiring."
Sakura gulped, taken aback by his bluntness.
"I…I didn't like the course. So, I left."
"You were top of your class. Attendance was 100%. Seemed to me like you liked it just fine."
Sakura felt her heart thump. He wasn't going to drop this.
"If you know all this, then you know why I dropped out."
"I know what the university said. I want to know from your point of view."
Sakura looked out the window and sighed. She couldn't refuse to answer her boss. It was only the first day on the job. She needed this job. But she was grateful he wanted to hear it from her side.
"I…wrote an article in the university paper. It got published and…the University didn't like what I had to say. Some people ended up getting hurt. The university gave me a choice, retract the article and make a formal apology, or leave the university and face trial."
Sakura felt a lump in her throat. It was a stressful time in her life. For her and her father, who had to pull some strings to even give her a choice.
Yue gave a single slight nod.
"What was the article about?"
"You know what it was about. You don't need me to explain." She muttered, getting annoyed that he was prodding.
He didn't push her. He did know what she wrote in the article. He read it, over and over again. It intrigued him.
"Why are you still here?" He asked in his regular work tone.
"What?" She whispered, still absorbed with curiosity.
"We're here. Get out." He said and killed the engine.
Sakura glanced out the window and saw her house silently looking back at her.
Embarrassed, she scrambled out of the car and mumbled a thank you before closing the door. Yue did not look back as he raced ahead out of sight.
Yue gripped the steering wheel and pulled out a much-desired cigarette. Exhaling, he thought about their conversation. Was he too vague with her? Too direct? He didn't know. He had to know he could trust her before he brought her to his side.
He wished she would connect the dots quicker, he wanted to give her that push. But she'd have to dig a little deeper before he could act.
He took a left onto the highway which would bring him back to the South, a place he resided in but refused to call home.
And what about the Lieutenant Li? He thought. If the young Kinomoto girl was really having an affair with him, then maybe she is already corrupted. And what of the military itself? What if they were onto him? What if his years of meticulous planning were for nought?
Yue bit down on his cigarette and clutched his chest. He felt another panic attack inducing. He swerved the car onto the side of the road and routed violently for his inhaler. He used it and took two sharp inhales. He calmed down. The pressure was getting too much for him.
On top of that, Yue hadn't been able to see him in weeks. The distance was killing him. He was losing sight of his goal. Yue thought about risking a call to him a few days ago, just to hear his voice. Just to be reassured by him. But he couldn't risk it. If Yue was caught, it'd destroy everything.
Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror he scowled, angry at himself for being so weak. He couldn't crumble now. He had to do it.
Because he made a promise, and he wouldn't let him down.
X x x
Sakura peaked out of the curtains to make sure Yue had indeed left.
She sighed with relief and let the curtain fall back. Breathing in through her nose she let her heartbeat go back to normal. It was weird to be around Yue so close for so long. He was intimidating and memorizing at the same time. Yet, she wondered if it was ok to be so close to her boss so soon. Maybe it was inappropriate, at the same time there seemed to be unsaid messages between them.
Sakura switched the kettle on. A low hiss escaped it as it boiled. She tapped her lip and pondered.
Yue…used to live in the East…knows of Kero Jones…did he know Touya before he died? Tomoeda East is a big place…the chances aren't that high.
The kettle clicked and she took out a cup for herself and sat down at the kitchen table. She was beginning to miss her father's presence…
"Ah!" She gasped.
She whipped out her notebook. How could she have been so caught up with thoughts of Yue, that she forgot the brilliant plan she schemed earlier at the Tomoedan bake sale. She began to write, pages and pages of how she might execute this plan. It would take a lot of discipline, patience, and a sudden personality change.
Then there was Yue, she'd have to bypass him. And even if she could bypass him…she had to get military approval. What would her father think?
She shook her head, she wouldn't tell him. It would save them from another argument.
Her pace was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Instinctively she threw her pages of noted into the drawer under the table. She felt on edge. Who would be calling so late in the evening. Was it Yue? Did she say too much?
Or maybe…Syaoran?
She quietly edged into the hallway and caught a glimpse of a silhouette standing behind the front door window. It was not Syaoran, this person was shorter. Sakura sucked air through her nose and decided to ignore it.
There came a harsh bang which made her jump.
"Sakura, I know you're in there! Let me in my feet are killing me!"
Sakura nearly dropped with relief and answered the door.
"Rika, what are you doing here?" She asked sounding more annoyed than she intended to.
"Oh, lighten up. You never called, as usual." Rika pouted then broke into a smile. "I brought fancy booze though!" She said and held up a large bottle of wine. "Imported from the North! It has a Mirth base which I hear they farm in the West. It costs and arm and a leg but Cindy from work won a bottle in some raffle but she doesn't drink so-"
"Just come in Rika." Sakura sighed.
Once inside Rika planted a wine glass in front of Sakura. Sakura rubbed her temples and unwillingly drank with her friend.
"So, talk about good timing." Rika said with a cheeky wink.
"What?"
"Who was that beautiful man who dropped you off today? Don't deny it! I saw you. Seems you guys were talking pretty intensely." She winked.
Sakura blushed at both Rika's comment and thinking about Yue.
"H-he's my boss. He was just giving me a lift home."
Rika swirled her glass around and raised her eyebrow playfully. "How kind of him. Does Lieutenant Li know you're cheating on him?"
Now Sakura's faced burned bright red. "N-no. I mean. What- how could I be? Syaoran is-"
"Syaoran!?" She asked with her eyes bulging with excitement. " .God. You guys are on first name basis. Well, you move quick-"
"Shut up Rika." She mumbled and squirmed in her chair. "That's not what I meant. There's nothing between the Lieutenant and me. I barely see him."
"Much to your disappointment." Rika said with an exaggerated pout. "Oh, I'm only teasing Sakura. I know there is nothing going on. Let me have my fantasies."
Sakura loosened up. She didn't know why she got so defensive. Rika was always making jokes. It felt so nice for Sakura to speak in her native language. Apart from her father, Sakura only spoke English outside the house. East Tomoedans had unfortunately adopted and accepted this unwritten rule. As a result, the current younger generation could barely speak a word of Mahr Bretain.
"This pretty boss of yours, does he have a name?"
Sakura took a sip of wine and winced before putting it down. "Tsukishiro Yue."
Rika almost chocked on her wine. She spluttered and slammed the glass down on the table.
"Are you serious?" She asked when she got her breath back. Tsukishiro Yue. Really?"
"Yeah, why? What wrong with that?"
"Sakura, are you dense? That's Yukito's cousin. Talk about keeping it in the family."
Sakura stuttered and shook her head. "No way. Tsukishiro is a common name-"
"I'm telling you, there was only ever one Tsukishiro in Tomoeda East, and that was Yukito's cousin. Sakura…you should be careful around him."
"Why?" She asked, her interest spiking.
Rika shuffled uncomfortably, regretting what she said. "Well, I um…I just heard things…about him. It could be all hearsay though."
"Things like what?" Sakura asked, leaning in.
"Well, apparently, when he was younger, before his citizenship test, he was rumoured to a be part of an…anti-Utopia group. Caught several times, sent to re-education camps…but he was under the age so he was still protected by law to some degree. But I heard from Yukito that he was on the edge of being exiled to the West."
Sakura held onto every word. Rika was mostly sensible, she was not the type to exaggerate a story, the extent to the truth however, that was unknown.
"So…then what?" Sakura asked.
Rika drained the bottom of her glass and let it settle before continuing.
"That's the thing…no one really knows. One day he was an alleged rebel and the next…he defected."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, he severed all ties with the East and moved to the South. Doesn't talk to family or friends this side of the wall anymore."
"B-but…how did he go from being a possible extremist to head of media and programming in the South? How and why did he suddenly switch sides?"
"That," She said and scooped up her bag. "Is the biggest mystery of it all. A secret only Yue knows."
Sakura slumped back and though back to her earlier conversation with Yue. The way he spoke about Tomoeda East, about Penguin Park…was that nostalgia? Regret? Or maybe even a small form of distain?
"Be careful, Sakura." Rika said as she stood up. "I don't think you should get too close to your boss. His intentions might not be so good."
Sakura nodded, she was already absorbed in her own thoughts. This would be something new to ponder about Yue.
"Nice to catch up!" She said and made her way out.
Sakura brought her to the door. She had to admit, it was nice to catch up with Rika.
"For the last time, no." Sakura said with light humour.
"Pleeeease! Just let me set you up with my cousin. He's a really nice guy and he works at the hospital too."
Sakura put her hand behind her to open the door.
"I don't want you to end up a single shrivelled up old lady with ten cats-" Rika broke off md-sentence and her mouth dropped.
"What's wrong?" Sakura asked and looked in the direction Rika was gawking at.
Talk about bad timing. Sakura felt her stomach drop. There, standing behind the open door, was Syaoran.
Rika and Sakura stared in silence with opened mouths. Syaoran, in semi-uniform, was surprised to see that Sakura wasn't alone.
"Good…evening…" He said in a voice that failed to convince anyone.
He made eye contact with Sakura, who seemed unable to muster up an excuse as to why the Lieutenant Colonel was at her house this late at night.
Rika's gawk moulded into a giant smile. She didn't do a good job in securing the excited squeak that fell out of her mouth.
"Good evening, Lieutenant Colonel." She said in giggle voice and stretched her hand out.
Syaoran shook her hand with an awkward smile. Sakura said nothing.
"So, eh, what brings you to the neighbourhood. Specifically, this neighbourhood, this house?" She said and plonked her hand on Sakura's shoulders.
Sakura suppressed a glare.
"I…have some business with this household." He said with vagueness.
"Documents." Sakura added. "The Lieutenant Colonel needs documents…for…"
"You job transferral." He offered and she was glad he could think on his feet.
"Oh?" Rika said with a playful grin. "Strange, I usually send my documents by mail. I didn't think I could get the Lieutenant Colonel to come to by door for such small things. If you were making personal appearances every time I switched jobs I'd change my job every week-"
"Ok, Rika, goodnight." Sakura said and gave her a light push out the door.
She obliged but not before, looking from Syaoran to Sakura and giggling, making them both blush.
Syaoran waited for Rika to disappear around the corner before saying anything.
"I'm sorry…I didn't think anyone would be home."
"It's ok." Sakura said suddenly nervous.
She took the sleeve of his arm and tugged him inside. Once in the hallway they both became shy.
"Do you think… your friend will-"
"No. She talks a lot, but she's no gossip. She won't say anything."
He nodded and silence descended between them. Sakura felt a mixture of nervousness and nausea in a good way. She liked that he was here, even though they weren't doing anything.
"Do you want…some tea?" She asked and picked at the pocket of her trousers.
"Sure." He replied.
She disappeared into the kitchen and with shaky hands, she made a small cup of tea. When she came back Syaoran was in the living room, eyeing up the bookshelf. They sat down on the couch and began to chat about innocent things. Neither of them willing to test out how the other felt about this.
"Can I ask you something?" Sakura asked. "About my interview."
Syaoran tensed but nodded. "You can ask, but I can't guarantee you I can answer." He said, hating how much he sounded like a soldier.
"Towards the end of my interview, you quoted a Nathala B. Omerson quote… I was just wondering, why a soldier, of all people would know that?"
Syaoran thought about her question.
"When I was a kid, my mother would read to me all the time. I have four older sisters so when she read to me, it was our thing. It was personal. Probably the happiest I was." Syaoran leaned back into the sofa and kept his eyes on his hands. "When she died, I decided to keep reading by myself. It was comforting in a way and kept her memory alive. In the library, there were still some…" He hesitated. "pre-regime books that had yet to be disposed of. I came across one of Nathala B. Omerson's books and I just read it, didn't think anything of it at the time."
He looked at Sakura, who was giving him his whole attention. They were sitting side by side, shoulders almost touching.
"When I saw you at the interview, I just kept thinking about that quote. I can't explain why. I just did."
Sakura said nothing. She was strangely satisfied with his reply. She was finding out more about him. It humanized him. She imagined what his mother was like, how difficult it must have been being the youngest of four sisters, and the pain he must have went through when he lost his mother, just like she did, when she sadly lost hers.
She shuffled closer to him and rested her eyes on his face. She was fascinated at the vulnerability in his eyes. They betrayed him, she noticed. The ambers flecks of his pupils shone in the dark living room. She could smell him and it comforted her in a way that scared her. She didn't want to feel so comforted around him.
The last time they were in her living room together, Sakura had her walls up and was on the defensive. Her guard was unbreakable. At least, that how she was, now, was a different story.
Reading her signals, Syaoran brought his hand up and grazed her high cheekbone with the back of his fingers. The touch made her stomach flutter. Syaoran didn't think she'd let him touch her so easily.
He did nothing but seem to constantly think about her since he was here last time. And he cursed himself for how he left it. He needed to make it right, to make it clear.
"Sakura…" He said in a soft and whispered voice. "What this is…us…nobody can know. It can only exist here, where nobody can see. Do you...still want this?"
Sakura's heart was beating with anticipation. Her last shred of pride was begging her not to give in, to put up her walls and go on the defence. Don't be a fool and fall for him.
"Yes." She whispered.
The word barely left her mouth before he kissed her. They both had not realized that they've been waiting for this for a long time. Their breathing intensified as Syaoran wrapped his arms around the small of her back and pulled her in. The house was silent except for their footsteps as they made their way towards her bedroom. As their clothes peeled away, layer by layer, Sakura shunned the voice of suspicion, which was sure to return the following morning. But for now, she let herself succumb to desire, something she rarely allowed herself to do.
X x x
"Do you want me to leave?" Syaoran asked after a few minutes of silence.
Sakura's heart was still racing as she lay on her side with her head pressed against his chest. She could hear his own heart calming down.
She unravelled her naked body from his and looked at him with sleepy eyes. "Do you want to leave?" She asked, not hiding the sadness in her voice. The house was so empty, she feared it would be worse if he left now.
He smiled and pushed the hair out of her eyes. "Not particularly. But you're hard to read."
She smirked and lay down beside him. "If you want to stay…that's fine." She said trying to sound indifferent.
"In that case," He replied, throwing a hand over her and kissing her head. "I'll take the first train back in the morning."
Sakura supressed a giddy smirk and just nodded. He drew small circles with his thumb on her shoulders. Burying his nose in her hair he inhaled her scent. Syaoran had never felt so content in his life.
He listened to her breathing. When he was sure she was asleep, he was reluctant to do what he had to do. His stomach knotted with the pressure of his duties came back to remind his that he was a soldier first, a human second. Slowly and gently, he lifted his weight up and saw that she was asleep.
Her breathing was shallow, she was a light sleeper, so Syaoran had to be extra agile. He swiftly removed his arm from under her and rolled away. He backed away lightly, thankful she didn't stir in the slightest.
Out of the covers, he felt a chill.
He threw on some clothes, grabbed a small flashlight he kept in his jacket pocket and disappeared into the hallway.
The Kinomoto house wasn't that big, but he wouldn't be able to sweep it in one night. He started with the small library in her living room, scanning each book one by one. All post regime books, no good to him. Next, he went through every drawer in the kitchen. Nothing.
Every now and again he paused to hear for any movement upstairs. He positively couldn't let her catch him snooping. It would end everything. Syaoran didn't know which would be worse, being unable to investigate the Kinomoto house…or loosing whatever it was he and Sakura currently had.
Syaoran noticed from the corner of his eye, a door hidden beside the stairwell. He turned the nob, locked. Suspicious.
He tried again but the noise, he feared, would wake her up.
For now, he would leave it.
He felt a tinge of relief that he found nothing so far. But he was also conflicted. He needed info on Touya in order to advance the search on Tomoyo, but…he didn't want to find Sakura guilty of anything.
He was about to return when his eyes rested on the kitchen table. The table cloth was caught on something from under it. Syaoran peeled it back and saw that the table had a hidden drawer. The cloth had gotten snagged when Sakura hurriedly stashed away her notebook. Now Syaoran had found it.
As soon as he took the notebook out, he knew it had secrets. He flipped through the pages, not a lot of writing. He recognized it as Sakura's handwriting.
They were incoherent notes, but some word stuck out for him.
Bake sale, corruption, media investigation, bypass military authorization, Mirth, West
Syaoran tapped his lip with his finger as he thought.
So she plans to go to the West somehow…. interesting. He thought.
It didn't tell Syaoran a whole lot, but it had to mean something.
After he secured everything back exactly how it was, he crawled under the sheets and slid his arms around her. She rolled into him, eyes shut and tired.
He looked at her for a few more minutes, admiring every feature on her face.
You want to go into the West, do you? He thought. I won't stop you. But I'll be watching you, very closely.
He caresses his suspicious lover and prayed that she was innocent. But if she wasn't, he couldn't be responsible for what would happen.
As sleep descended on Syaoran he once again kissed her head.
Dissident or not, she smells so damn good.
X x x