A/N: Wow, you guys are awesome. I was so worried about that chapter and you guys are just fantastic!
Someone pointed out the rating to me- Jesus, I can't believe I rated it K+. No worries, I changed it to T :D
aspiringtoeloquence: well hi there, long-lost twin! this explains a lot.
Weird Shmeird: I'm pretty sure Spah is just another weird Wes/David way to say Spy. At least, I think that's what it is.
Quasimojo8: Ah, mate, the internets won't let me see whatever that link was. Says it doesn't exist :(
so how was everyone's Christmas? (unless you don't celebrate, but I'm not a hugely politically correct person, so I'm sorry if I offend you by asking but chill out, seriously). Mine was amazing, got the first season of Glee on DVD, a joint present from all my friends banded together. Amazing.
I don't own this either, but people really are making the most awesome speeches.
Here is why I ship Kurt/Blaine: I like that Blaine is Kurt's intellectual equal. Kurt needs someone who can not only keep up with him, but someone he can't steamroll over, either. I like that Blaine had Kurt's back, but Kurt intervened between him and Karofsky when necessary. He doesn't need a White Knight to protect him from everything and to fight his battles for him. He needs a partner. I don't want to see Kurt as his love interest's mentor guiding him through the coming out process. I don't want him to deal with the burden of someone else's sexual identity crisis, at least not as a springboard into a romantic relationship. Not at this point, after what he's been through this season. I think there is more than enough conflict inherent in being one half of an out gay teenage couple without needing to add that to the mix.
I like that, assuming Blaine has feelings for Kurt, he is holding them back in order to be what Kurt needs most right now— a friend. That he understands how important that is for Kurt. I like that Kurt's approach to Blaine is different than it was with either Finn or Sam; he isn't pushing, he isn't trying to force anything, even though this is the first time he knows things could actually work out in his favor. And maybe that's what makes things different— for the first time he has something to lose.
I like the way their voices blend. I like how Kurt swats Blaine playfully on the shoulder over dinner like it's nothing, when we all know what being able to touch a boy even in such a small way means to him, and what it means that Blaine doesn't bat an eyelash. I like how Blaine is the only one to laugh at Kurt's questionable dead bird joke.
I like the way Blaine's eyes fall to Kurt's mouth when he sings to him. I like the way Kurt's gaze follows Blaine as he walks out of the room and the way his lips press together. I like that Blaine not only indulges but shares some of Kurt's interests and passions— whether it's performing or Vogue covers or Patti LuPone or gay rights.
I like that Blaine is someone Kurt lets his guard down around in a way we haven't seen him with anyone except for his father. I like that Blaine is honest about what he thinks, even when it hurts, and even when he's wrong. I like that Kurt engages Blaine as an equal because he knows Blaine is not someone he can easily derail or manipulate, and because Blaine is someone he respects. I like that Blaine may have the best intentions in the world but he doesn't have all the answers he thinks he does, and that Kurt has more strength than he knows, and eventually they will realize this about each other and themselves. I like that whatever happens between them, these are two people who have something to learn from each other.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me! David, Wes, Blaine, and Kurt (and Wyatt, the fist-pumping guy) belong to Glee, and Harry and Pratik belong to Infraredphaeton, and her wonderful Spah-verse!
Blaine sighed in frustration and reached up to thread his fingers through his hair, a habit he thought he'd kicked in ninth grade. He stopped himself halfway, remembering the absurdly large amount of both time and product that went into his hair. "I don't understand algorithms," he moaned regretfully to Wes and David.
"I do," David said, smugly. He and Wes were tangled up on the couch beside him, studying out of the same book. They rather appeared as if someone had tied their limbs together.
"I swear, if I hadn't met your girlfriends before-" Blaine began.
"We're heteroflexible!" Wes snapped back, not even looking up from the book.
Blaine choked a little. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I'm straight, but shit happens," David defined in a rather bored tone.
Wes popped a marshmallow into his mouth.
Blaine blinked.
"We've rendered him speechless," Wes said, grinning.
"He could start singing," David reminded him. "About the situation. That's what we usually do when we're speechless. Blaine, do you feel like singing?"
Blaine blinked again.
"Speechless," Wes repeated, proudly. "Would you look at that."
"How did you get him to shut up?" Harry asked, leaning over the back of the couch and examining Blaine's face.
It was then that Blaine remembered he had a bone to pick with Harry. About Kurt.
"Harry," he said, politely. "Could I have a word?"
David and Wes began to "ooooh". Blaine and Harry ignored them.
"Sure," Harry said, and followed him out into the hallway. It was completely deserted save for one cleaning servicer dusting off an antique vase on the other end of the corridor.
Blaine turned to face Harry once they stopped, and found that he had no idea what he could possibly say to him. He opened his mouth, then closed it and swallowed, hard.
"This is about Kurt, isn't it?" Harry said, gently.
Blaine nodded gratefully.
Harry sat down on one of the leather couches lining the hall and patted the seat beside him. Blaine sat down, hesitantly.
"So, who told you about our date?" Harry asked.
"Uh, Finn," Blaine said.
"Who?" Harry asked, confused.
Blaine chuckled. "Apparently, Kurt told his stepbrother. About it."
Harry folded his hands. "So what do you want to know?"
Blaine was slightly taken aback, but quickly recovered. "I don't want you to feel like I own him, Harry." He said, quietly. "I don't own Kurt. It doesn't matter how I feel about him if he doesn't feel the same way. I only want him to be happy."
Harry sighed. "I can't really tell you everything, Blaine. I wish I could. But part of is Kurt's business- it isn't my business to tell." He took a deep breath. "But I can tell you this- it was a mistake for both of us."
Blaine's eyebrows shot up. "Both of you?"
Harry winced. "Er. You know how Pratik is my best friend, right?"
Blaine rolled his eyes. Of course he knew. The two were rarely seen without each other, somewhat like Wes and David- or Kurt and Blaine.
"I may or may not have... feelings for him."
Blaine's mouth opened. "Oh," he managed. Would there be no end to the surprises?
"But Pratik is straight," Harry continued. "Really straight. And maybe I've been trying to get rid of my unrequited feelings for him by dating other people. And before you ask," he said defensively, "Kurt asked me out. But the date ended right after dinner. We decided it just wasn't right, what with me only doing this to get over Pratik."
"I'm really sorry," Blaine said, sincerely. "Here I was planning on beating you up."
Harry snorted. "Sure."
They both laughed a little, then Harry said, "but really, Blaine, you should just tell him how you feel."
Blaine sighed, wistfully. "I really wish I could. But honestly, it isn't that I'm waiting for. I want Kurt to be ready for a relationship before I pursue one with him."
Harry laughed. "Are you kidding me? The kid's more than ready for one. He's aching for one."
Blaine frowned. "Somehow, that seems wrong. Like he'd only be with me just to have a relationship."
"He went on a date with me, Blaine, and decided that he didn't want me," Harry reminded him. "He doesn't just want a relationship. Maybe he's waiting for you."
Blaine stood up. "Thank you for being honest with me, Harry."
"Any time," Harry said, easily.
"And I wouldn't be too sure about Pratik," Blaine added, as he began to walk away. "He stares at you far too often and too long for a straight best friend."
It was true, and it was the least Blaine could offer him after what Harry had just given him.
"So how'd you find out about the date?" David asked, as Blaine sat down beside them on the couch again.
"I'm sorry, what?" Blaine asked, genuinely under the impression that he'd heard him wrong.
"The date with Harry," Wes expanded, popping another marshmallow in his mouth. "Wasn't that what this whole thing was about?"
"Did everyone know except for me?" Blaine cried, in frustration.
Wes shrugged. "If it makes you feel better, from what I hear, Kurt said, 'It's not you, it's Blaine', when he explained to Harry why they wouldn't work out."
Something small and explosive went off in Blaine's chest. He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. "He did?"
"He did," David confirmed. "What, you couldn't already tell he's head-over-heels for you? I could tell from the moment you started singing Teenage Dream. And that was months ago."
"Oh yeah," said Wes, dreamily. "And remember Sectionals? The look on his face when Blaine sang 'so I went and let you blow my mind'?"
"It was like there were sunbeams shooting out of his face."
"Or rainbows," Wes agreed.
"I need to ask him out," Blaine said, blankly.
With sudden actions that startled the rest of the room into dropping their various cups of coffee, Wes and David fell from the couch to their knees, throwing their arms up into the air.
"ALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD!" Wes called to the skies.
"OH ALMIGHTY FATHER, HOW WE HAVE PRAYED-"
"OKAY, you guys!" Blaine said, raising his voice slightly, which for Blaine was somewhat like yelling.
They turned to look at him. The rest of the room was completely silent.
"I need to think," Blaine told them. "I can't just do this. I need to be alone for a while. I'm going to the roof. Don't bother me, and don't tell Kurt where I am."
xxxxx
Blaine lay on his back on the roof of Kieran house, gazing up at the crystal-clear night sky and trying to ignore the fact that it was so cold he might be losing vital organs.
It's not that bad, he tried to reason with himself. Think warm thoughts.
And of course, that brought him back to Kurt. There was a reason he was there. He always went to the roof when he had to think, and David and Wes and all the other boys knew that. And thankfully, they were the kind of friends who didn't bother him when he went.
His toes were freezing, though.
He really, really wished he'd thought to bring his guitar with him when he'd gone up to the roof. He could go back, but it was (he checked his pocket watch) 8:49. Kurt was no doubt back in their room.
And Kurt was the last person he wanted to see right now.
Not because he didn't always want to see Kurt. God, no. He just didn't think he could handle seeing him at the moment without, as David would put it, "jumping his bones".
He took a deep breath in, scrolling through his mental repertoire of songs to find one that could possibly fit his current situation and make him feel better.
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and began to sing.
Yeah...
I hear you breathing in, another day begins
The stars are falling out
My dreams are fading now, fading out
He tried to list in his head the reasons why he couldn't be with Kurt, why he couldn't get into this relationship, but all of his reasons seemed to have fled when he'd spoken to Harry.
I've been keeping my eyes wide open, I've been keeping my eyes wide open
Ooh, your love is a symphony, all around me, running through me
Ooh, your love is a melody, underneath me, running to me
Oh, your love is a song...
All he could think of was reason upon reason of why he should just give in to what he was feeling and do what he knew both of them wanted him to do.
The dawn is fire bright, against the city lights
The clouds are glowing now, the moon is blacking out, blacking out...
Ooh, your love is a symphony, all around me, running through me
Ooh, your love is a melody, underneath me, running to me
Oh, your love is a song, your love is a song...
He let his voice trail off, unable to trust it any more not to give out on him.
He let himself recover for a long time, trying to think of anything but Kurt, gazing up at the night sky, breathing in the crisp air, and wondering what the hell he was going to do.
A cough let him know that he was not alone.
He sat up immediately, turning as quickly as he could while still sitting down.
Kurt offered a sheepish smile. He was holding Blaine's guitar, and Blaine's heart leapt painfully at the sight of him. He groaned internally. He was so screwed, so head-over-heels in love with Kurt that he couldn't even think straight (1).
"Hi." Blaine's voice was embarrassingly shaky. "You found me."
"I coaxed it out of David and Wes," Kurt admitted, stepping forward, and Blaine took a moment to admire the way the starlight shone off Kurt's porcelain skin and glinted in his eyes.
Kurt's hands were shaking, and Blaine knew it wasn't entirely from the cold. "Kurt, I-"
"Don't," said Kurt. "Whatever you've got to say, let it wait. I've got something to show you." He looped the strap of Blaine's guitar over his shoulder.
"You don't know how to play guitar," Blaine said, slowly.
"Pratik's been teaching me to play."
"You're kidding." Blaine was surprised. He'd never thought Kurt and Pratik were that close.
"I called in a favor with Harry," Kurt said.
This wasn't as surprising. Harry and Pratik were the kind of joined-at-the-hip friends that David and Wes were, and therefore were almost the same person. So it was legitimate that Kurt could call in a favor that Harry owed him with Pratik.
"I wanted to surprise the Warblers. But I thought I should play something for you first. Is that okay?"
Blaine could only blink for a little bit.
Kurt laughed a little self-consciously, something that was somehow not right on him. He began to strum the guitar, a simple little series of chords, and Blaine thought he might've known the song from somewhere, but he couldn't quite figure out where.
Then Kurt began to sing, and Blaine couldn't remember his name, let alone a tune from a movie he may have seen (1).
All those days, watching from the windows.
All those years, outside, looking in.
All that time, never even knowing, just how blind I've been...
And suddenly, Blaine knew exactly where he'd heard it before, and he couldn't believe how well this song fit for his situation, and he wondered how on earth Kurt had known.
Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight.
Now I'm here, suddenly I see.
Standing here, it's oh-so-clear, I'm where I'm meant to be...
And at last I see the light, and it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light, and it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted...
All at once, everything looks different, now that I see you.
He continued to strum as Blaine's heart raced, still unable to believe that Kurt was singing this song to him. Kurt opened his mouth, bridging into the next part, but Blaine knew this song was a duet and he was going to be damned if he'd allow Kurt to sing another duet alone after hearing about Le Jazz Hot. So he opened his mouth and let the words come out before Kurt could utter a single note.
All these days, chasing down a daydream
All those years, living in a blur.
All that time, never truly seeing things the way they were.
Now he's here, shining in the starlight.
Now he's here, suddenly, I know.
If he's here, it's crystal-clear, I'm where I'm meant to go...
Kurt joined him for the chorus as Blaine stood to join him, moving until they were mere inches apart, the guitar the only thing separating them.
As the last note faded out, they looked at each other. The Kurt coughed and looked away slightly, and Blaine was hit forcibly with a wave of de ja vu, reminiscent of the few awkward moments after Baby, it's Cold Outside.
"You said you had something to tell me?" Kurt said quietly, not meeting Blaine's eyes.
Blaine took a deep breath.
"Kurt," he said, softly. "I really like you. A lot. And I don't mean as a friend. But I wasn't going to do anything about it until you were ready for me to."
Kurt was smiling more broadly than Blaine had ever seen him smile, showing off the teeth he never liked to show. "And they said you were smart, Blaine," he said. "I've only been waiting... forever."
"So I'm going to ask you out now."
Kurt let out a breath Blaine hadn't known he was holding. "Good," he said, "because I don't think I could've done it."
"Would you like to go to dinner with me this Friday?" Blaine asked.
Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"On a date," Blaine clarified. "Where I open the car door for you, and we hold hands across the table, and I refuse to let you pay for dinner."
"Yes," Kurt breathed.
"I really, really want to kiss you right now," Blaine added, "but I'm not going to."
"Why?" Kurt asked, a flash of hurt crossing his eyes.
Blaine caught up Kurt's hands with his. "Because you're going to kiss me for the first time. When you're ready."
"Oh." Kurt let out another breath. "I don't think I can right now," he admitted. "I'm too nervous."
"You don't have to," Blaine whispered, lifting the guitar from around his shoulders, and placing it gently on the ground. He wrapped his arms around the other boy, and rested his forehead on Kurt's shoulder.
"This is enough for now," he murmured, and felt Kurt's hands curl around the small of his back and a head drop onto his shoulder.
"Blaine?" he felt Kurt whisper.
"Yes?" he asked, rubbing circles into Kurt's back.
"I really like you, too."
Blaine couldn't say anything without it coming out completely sappy and embarrassing. Instead, he wrapped his arms more tightly around Kurt and hummed happily. He could feel Kurt's heartbeat beneath his palms.
"Blaine?"
"Mmm?"
"I don't think I can kiss you."
Startled (and a little hurt), Blaine began to pull back. Kurt grabbed him by his forearms and held him in place. "I want to," he breathed, in a voice that made Blaine's knees go wobbily. "I want to so badly, Blaine. I just don't know how to- what to-" his voice was growing higher and more panicky.
Blaine pulled Kurt tightly against him again and slowly eased them both to the floor, settling Kurt so he was in between Blaine's legs, with his back pressed to Blaine's chest.
"I can't do this for you," he murmured, stroking one hand over Kurt's incredibly soft hair. "But I can make it a little easier. Kurt, if you kiss me, I swear to God, to Buddha, to Satan- to whoever- I will kiss you back. But we both need you to do this."
Kurt took a deep breath. "Okay," he said, calmly. "But-uh-you might have to wait for a while."
"However long it takes," Blaine said, twirling a strand of Kurt's hair between his fingers with one hand, and lacing his fingers through Kurt's with the other. "Can you think of somewhere you'd like to go for dinner on Friday?"
"Not when you're doing that," Kurt said in a slightly strangled voice, and Blaine realized that the fingers twirling in Kurt's hair had gotten slightly more teasing.
"Sorry," he said, quickly snatching his hand away.
Kurt twisted to look at him. "I didn't say to stop," he said, smiling shyly, and Blaine resumed his motions, his heart feeling as if it was literally in his throat. He nearly jumped when he felt Kurt's fingers tracing similar patterns in his thigh.
It was so bizarre to finally see for-real proof that Blaine affected Kurt in exactly the same way that Kurt affected Blaine. It was incredible, actually. To see Kurt shiver (and not from the cold) when Blaine's wandering fingers ran down his neck. To see the way he cuddled into Blaine and to know it was because Kurt really liked Blaine.
He was absolutely sure he could never be happier than he was at the moment.
After a few minutes, Kurt spoke again. "Can we go to Breadstix?" He asked. "I just feel like, you know, for us... it's kind of perfect."
It was a long drive from Westerville to Lima. Nearly two hours. But classes always ended earlier on Fridays. They could handle it.
"I'd love that," Blaine said, squeezing Kurt's hand and pressing his cheek against Kurt's. He could feel the other boy's body shuddering, and realized once again just how cold it was outside. "Come on, let's go inside."
He stood up, offering his hand to Kurt to help him up, and grabbed the guitar by the neck. He refused to let go of Kurt's hand.
"You agreed to go out with me," he said, grinning. "Therefore, you must deal with the consequences. Namely, acknowledging publicly, through hand-holding, that I'm not hopeless and actually do have a chance with you. Wes and David don't believe it."
Kurt shot him a look that clearly said "are-you-crazy?" He mumbled, "How could you not have a chance with me?"
Blaine smiled widely, swinging Kurt's hand a little as they entered the main hall.
Somehow, he'd expected more of a... reception.
"There's a betting pool on how long it will take for us to get together," Blaine said to Kurt, disappointed, as the two walked hand in hand through the Senior Commons- and not one boy batted an eyelash. "You'd think someone would react."
"Blaine, we hold hands on a regular basis, it's not that unusual," Kurt pointed out. "Plus, it's not really a non-friend thing to do. Wes and David hold hands."
"Well," Blaine said, softly, and tugged Kurt a little closer to him before lifting his hand to his mouth. "You don't mind, do you?" he hesitated, his mouth centimeters from the back of Kurt's hand.
Kurt only shook his head, his eyes as round as saucers, apparently rendered speechless.
Blaine very gently pressed his lips to Kurt's knuckles, maintaining eye contact with him the whole time. He noted with a sense of satisfaction and pride that the younger boy looked as if he might swoon.
Now that caught their attention.
"Get it, Blaine!" Wyatt called, fist-pumping the air.
Kurt, who was blushing fiercely, took a step backward. "I'm going up to our room," he said, quietly, "while you talk to Wes and David. I think they've got a few things to say to you."
Sure enough, when Blaine looked over, the two boys were staring at him, with inscrutible expressions on their faces.
"Time to face the firing squad," Blaine sighed, and lifted a hand to Kurt's face, letting his fingers trail over his cheek, before turning and quickly heading to his friends (but not before catching the slightly dazed expression on Kurt's face).
Wes' arms were folded across his chest, which made Blaine slightly nervous.
"I am so confused," David said, calmly.
"Blaine, what the hell was that?" Wes demanded. "You just kissed his hand! Does that count? Do friends do that? I'm so confused. What are you two?"
"I have no idea," Blaine confessed.
Both Wes and David looked at him like they wanted to hit him in the face with a brick.
"I asked him on a date," he added, hastily. "And I clarified that it was a hand-holding sort of date."
"Yes, yes, all good, but did you kiss him?" David asked impatiently.
"No," Blaine said, firmly, and both boys groaned with exasperation. Blaine held up one hand. "I have my reasons! I told Kurt I wanted to kiss him. Badly. But I also told him that he has to be the one to do it, because his first kiss-" he broke off suddenly, realizing that Kurt may not have told David and Wes all of what had happened with Karofsky.
"Yes?" Wes asked, eagerly.
"Nothing," Blaine mumbled, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. "That part isn't important. What's important is that Kurt makes the move. I could easily take over this relationship, but that would make Kurt look back in retrospect and say he was fine with whatever happened, even if he wasn't, which I definitely don't want. This way I know for sure he will be okay with whatever happens, because he'll be controlling it. More than fine. He will want whatever happens."
He took a deep breath. David and Wes appeared to be thinking.
"That sounds... good," Wes said, finally. "Wow. You really care about him, don't you?"
David, who had been examining Blaine silently, spoke. "No, not just that. He's head-over-heels in love with him. I've suspected it since Kurt turned away from that window in 'Don't Cry for Me, Argentina', but I would like confirmation, please."
"I love him," Blaine said, and admitting something so significant to his best friends made him feel as if something enormously heavy had just been lifted from his shoulders.
Broad grins broke out across Wes and David's faces, and they attacked him in a hug.
Laughing, Blaine pushed them away. "I've got to get some sleep, and do not say anything," Blaine added, as David opened his mouth to make some lewd comment.
"I wasn't going to. What makes you think I was?" David asked, innocently.
Blaine raised his eyebrows without saying a word, then turned and walked out of the room, his head held high, ignoring all the amused looks he was getting.
When he reached their dorm room, it was dark. Kurt was just a lump underneath the covers on the far side of the room, illuminated lightly by the flickering candle on his bedside table. Kurt had always been the "light a candle in the window" kind of person, something he explained started with his mother.
Blaine undressed as quietly as he could, trying not to wake Kurt, and crawled underneath his own covers, rolling onto his side so he could look at Kurt.
"I'm not asleep, you know."
His voice startled Blaine violently.
The lump in the bed next to Blaine's rolled over, and Kurt's face peeked out from amongst the covers, hair ruffled and looking almost unbearably cute.
"I can't sleep," Kurt admitted, and Blaine couldn't be quite sure in the dim light, but it looked like Kurt may have been blushing.
"I can't either," Blaine admitted back. "You look really cute right now."
Now Kurt was definitely blushing, and Blaine was enjoying every second of it. He had this floaty feeling he associated with everything being right in the world, because he could finally say all the things he thought in his head out loud.
"You always look cute," Kurt said in a rush, and threw his covers over his head again.
Blaine lay awake for a long time after that, grinning at the ceiling.
A/N: (1) My best friend: "Not that he ever thinks straight. ... get it? Because he's gay?"
(2): The song is from the Disney movie "Tangled", and it's called "I See The Light". I was scrolling through my ipod, looking for the perfect song for Kurt to sing to Blaine, and I stumbled across this one. It's perfect. Firstly, the lyrics are just wonderful for the situation and setting I have them in. Secondly, the vocals and vocal range are just right for Chris Colfer and Darren Criss' voices. Thirdly, it's a duet. I wasn't even expecting there to be a perfect duet for them, but there it is!
Don't be sad, the kiss will happen!
(As well as the locket thing)