Okay, the Zack dog (black lab :3) that lives across the street from where I work keeps barking, so I'll take that as a sign that I should update XD Also, TsumeLover666 deserves it for her AWESOME, long review hahaha (I like her on sugar highs XD) I have many things to say in reply to your review, but I'll just send you a message instead of boring the other readers with my ramblings X] Also, thanks for pointing out the typos and things. Eheh... I accidentally used my real name instead of my character name on one occasion in the last chapter. My bad!

Anyway, a few of you are already mentioning the end of this story (which I muse about constantly, just to let you know; I still have to finish the game /fail). Don't worry; we've still got quite a bit of story left before the ending.

So enough from me! Read on!

-Chapter 11-

Kiku

I didn't see Zack for another couple days. He did call, though. And it wasn't like I was freaking out about not seeing him. I wasn't the obsessive-best-friend-type who went insane if she didn't see her best friend at least once a day.

Okay...so maybe I was. On the inside. Just a little bit.

I sensed that Anna and Clay knew I was worried that he hadn't come by, and had only called, but they didn't say anything. I was sort of glad that they didn't say anything.

And then there was another part of me screaming, "Ask me! Ask me! I wanna tell you everything so I know I'm not going crazy! ASK ME!" But I never said anything out loud, of course.

Maybe I'll always be this way, I thought one rainy night as I was bussing tables. I'll always say more in my head than I will with my mouth. But I've been like that ever since I can remember. Was I different with Mom? If she were still here, would I be different now? Or would I be the same, shutting everyone out of the deepest, darkest corners of my mind and my life with everything I have in me? Will someone come along who could get past all that? Or is it just wishful thinking?

Then again, I thought, someone has already gotten past some of the barriers. Zack did when I told him about my father. But...I'm still not sure he knows everything. Is there anything I haven't told him? Past-wise, I mean? Then there's Anna and Clay to consider as well.

But, I thought, if I forever think more than I say, I may never say what I want most to say to someone when I have to say it. I gotta learn to take more chances with what I say. I mean, not just spit out everything that runs through my mind, but...tell my friends (what friends I have) how much they mean to me. Even after just two weeks, I feel like Anna and Clay are my closest girl friends. They top Aerith easily. But I still don't tell my friends how much I care for them, and how much they impact my life. Maybe because I've never had friends worth telling something like that to before. Yeah, that's gotta be it.

"Kiku...?" Clay was asking as if she'd been saying it over and over again.

I looked up from my tray at her. "What? Were you talking to me? Sorry."

"Is there something really interesting in that empty glass?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you've been staring into it for at least a full minute," she said, smiling a little.

I exhaled and set it down.

"You seem really deep in thought tonight. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," I said, nodding. "Gotta get back out there." And I walked out of the kitchen before she could say anything else.

You did it again! I screeched in my head, mentally kicking myself. You are deep in thought, but you just walk away and say you're fine! Why do I do that? I've gotta learn to say what's on my mind. Maybe it's an acquired trait.

Zack usually always says what's on his mind. Most of the time. I'll bet he was born with it, though. He was born with everything. The sense of humor, the energy... I bet he was even born with those fighting skills. To heck with Shinra's experiments and all that. Zack's a natural, I know it. And besides all that, he was born with the spiky, black hair, his strength... I'll bet he had intense eyes even before the mako treatment. I can just see a little version of Zack, running around Gongaga with a wooden sword, telling everyone about his dreams to be a hero.

I had to smile at the thought.

And I, on the other hand, I continued thinking, was the girl who ran through the slums of Sector 5 Midgar, sifting through debris from buildings being knocked down and selling what she could to buy a sword. The girl who stood in awe of Shinra, SOLDIER, and even the Turks. The girl who had big dreams of being the first female SOLDIER 1st Class. The girl who got beat by her father when she got home because she wasn't a professional at sneaking out yet. The girl who sneak-watched TV to learn what fighting looked like, then made her own punching bag and bought a katana so she could learn how to defend herself. Not that she ever used it. She knew that she wasn't strong enough to defeat her enemy yet. And, as it turned out, she never got strong enough and he left her for dead in an alley near her house.

Wow, enough internal monologue there, Kiku? I thought dryly. Wonder if Zack ever thinks like this, reflects on his past? Come to think of it, I don't know much about his past either. Just that he grew up in Gongaga. Maybe he thinks it's not much of a story, just like I think mine isn't. It's so hard to tell with Zack. Strike that, all guys. It's hard to tell with all guys. It's like a rule of life that guys confuse girls.

But Zack especially.

"Hey, stranger."

I literally jumped at the voice. I spun around. Speak of the devil...

He chuckled. "Didn't mean to startle you."

I gave him a half-hearted glare. "You didn't sneak up on me. You just... Oh, never mind."

He laughed and followed me back over to the bar, finding an empty stool and sitting on it as I unloaded my tray. "Sorry I haven't been around the past couple days."

I wanted to tell him that it was sweet that he was worried I was upset, but then realized that that didn't sound like anything I would ever say in my life, and said, "Don't worry about it. As long as I know you're alive and okay, everything's just fine."

"Right back at'cha," he said with a smile.

I smiled back. "So what's been keeping you at the base? Or can you tell me?"

He nodded. "I can tell you. Just...not out here."

"Right. Of course," I said. I leaned over to Anna, and told her I was going to talk to Zack, and I would be back soon.

She replied not to worry, since closing time was in a half-hour and it was starting to clear out anyway. She said she and Clay could manage for the next thirty minutes.

I thanked her and led Zack up the stairs to our living quarters. I didn't even think twice about going to my room. He was my friend (that I thought I possibly liked as more than a friend). It was just somewhere private to talk.

"So what is it?" I asked.

I was sitting on my bed, Zack pacing slowly in front of the rain-streaked windows. I watched him walk back and forth, one hand in his pocket, and the other running through his spiky, black hair.

He exhaled. "Kiku...I've... Well... Tseng found a lead."

I felt a shiver run up my spine, and tried to hide it. "Really?" I asked, my voice coming out quieter than I wanted it to.

"Yeah," he said. "And...me and him and a couple grunts are flying out in a couple days for Modeoheim."

Modeoheim, I thought. Up in the moutains. Snowy. Not exactly known for its vacation-spot locales.

"Really..." My voice was even more quiet now.

He noticed and stopped pacing. He looked at me. "Hey, I won't be gone long."

I could tell he was trying to make me feel better, even though he himself was a little sad, too. But I also knew how excited he got about missions. He wanted to get back out there. I understood.

"Yeah," was all I said.

"You know how I do things," he said. "It should be just a quick 1, 2, 3 mission. Even faster if Tseng's tip is wrong."

Didn't you once tell me that Tseng's never wrong? I wondered. I just nodded. Then sighed. "I'll miss you."

He sat down on the bed next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. "I'll miss you too." He laughed softly. "I know you'd just love to come along and kick butt with those skills of yours."

I laughed softly, too. "It would be interesting, that's for sure." I sat back and looked at him. "You'll be careful, right?"

He gave me his ZTP grin. "Kiku, when aren't I careful?"

"Well...there was the time when-"

"Never mind."

We laughed.

Then I looked at the rain streaming down the window panes. "So this is the last time I'll see you before you leave?"

He sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. I haven't even been fully briefed on the whole mission. Apparently, everything has become even more top secret lately."

"Understandable," I said, still not looking at him.

"You okay?" he asked.

Now I looked at him. "There's something I've been wanting to do, Zack. And...I think it's been long enough to take the risk."

He blinked at me, clearly not understanding.

"Come on." I took his hand and tugged him along behind me as I went back down the stairs.

Anna and Clay had already kicked all the drunks out and were cleaning up. They looked up as we went by.

I headed straight for the door.

I could feel the tension in the air. I felt like opening that door would take me to another world, like it was a portal of some kind. I wouldn't just be going outside. I'd be going above the plate. Getting to feel real rain from the real sky.

I put my hand on the handle and turned it, the bell above the front door ringing as the door swung out into the night air. The ringing echoed in the silent, near-empty room for what seemed like forever.

I stood in the doorway, feeling the cool air blowing in. Tiny drops of water flecked onto my skin.

With Zack, Anna, and Clay watching, I stepped from the doorway to under the awning over the door. The drops became a little bigger, and I was almost there.

I stepped out from under the awning and looked up.

There above me was that beautiful sky, blanketed in black clouds. I felt a wide smile breaking across my face. The sky. The real sky. It was right there above me. And I could finally see it.

Big, fat drops of rain hit me in the face, making me have to look away from the sky. I stood there, letting the rain seep through my clothes and drench my hair. I felt like that rain was washing me off, washing off all the events that had led me to 7th Heaven. All that were left were the good things. Anna. Clay. 7th Heaven. The smell of laundry detergent. Purple hair brushes and toothbrushes with my name written on them.

Freedom. Strength. Courage. I liked to believe I had those things. I felt like I did, standing under that downpour.

And last but not least, Zack. My best friend. I would've been dead if it wasn't for him. I owed him a lot more than my life, though. I owed him for staying, and for being my friend through everything. I owed him for training me, for making me as good a fighter as him.

I opened my eyes and tilted my head back over my shoulder to look at everyone. My wet hair flipped back, hanging from my head in the wavy way it always did when it got wet. The three of them were smiling at me each in their own way, each of their smiles saying different things.

Anna's said, "Total happiness. From a rainstorm. Amazing."

Clay's said, "Yeah, she's happy now. Just wait till she wakes up tomorrow morning with a cold."

And Zack's... He was smiling in understanding. Because I'd told him about wanting to see the sky, no matter what the weather. It said something like, "Now one of her big dreams has finally come true."

I just started laughing. Laughing as pure joy seeped from my every pore and mixed with the rain dripping off my skin. I always thought that purple was the color of joy, so I half-expected to look down and see the puddles turning purple beneath the yellow light of the street lamps.

I jumped around in some puddles, too. I didn't care if I looked like a little kid. I was having the time of my life. Never had rain felt so good.

And the sky...that huge expanse of black and grey... I had never seen anything more beautiful.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned.

Zack smiled at me, rain dripping from his spiky hair.

I smiled back, brushing my wet bangs out of my face.

"Come on," he said. I could barely hear him over the rain. "You'll catch cold."

"So what?" I replied, still smiling.

"Don't make me use force." He was still smiling, too.

"Well, I'm making you. Because I won't go voluntarily." I folded my arms over my chest and gave a half-hearted pout, as if to say, "So there!"

Zack narrowed his eyes, smiling a little and nodding. "Alright... I warned you."

Before I could say anything more or protest, Zack picked me up, slinging me over his shoulder.

"Ah!" I laughed. "Put me down!"

"No way," he replied. "You'll just run off."

"Heck no," I said. "I just really like the rain is all!"

He smiled and headed for the door. "It rains all the time. Don't worry. They'll be more rainstorms."

"Zack! No fair!"

"Is that supposed to be a pun?"

I started laughing, realizing what I'd said. "It's not fair! You have the advantage here!"

"What's that?" he asked.

Being incredibly amazing.

Again, SO glad I didn't say that out loud. Maybe there were times when my not-speaking-everything-I-think habit came in handy after all.

"You got me when I wasn't ready!"

"No excuses!" he said, obviously grinning.

I sighed and folded my arms, giving up on getting back into the rain.

"You happy?"

I smiled widely. "Exceedingly so."

He set me back down in the doorway, the warm air from inside now finding me. He smiled at me. "Good."

Clay practically attacked me with a towel, drying me off furiously. I guess she really didn't want me catching cold. Maybe she was the germ freak. You never knew. Of course, being a doctor, wouldn't that make her job more difficult? Maybe not.

Anna handed Zack a towel and he dried off his hair. It didn't even look any different. Whether it was wet or dry, or it was windy or whatever, it always stayed spiky.

"I think your hair defies gravity," I said, wringing out my hair in the towel.

Zack laughed. "I've often wondered if it does," he said, tugging on a spike.

"Trust me, it does."

"Sweet! My hair defies gravity!"

Now I had to laugh. It was just so ZTP of him.

But the evening of fun had to come to an end, of course. Zack had to get back to Shinra. It was even more important that he be there now, with a mission coming up and all.

I hugged him for a long time when he was going to leave. "Just do what you gotta do and get out," I said.

He laughed softly. "Right. You take care of yourself too, okay? Better not go out in daylight yet."

"Right," I said. Night was one thing, but broad daylight was something else entirely.

"And you keep practicing and things. I'll be back soon."

I nodded. "You'd better, or I'll come find you and kick your butt."

"I don't doubt it."

We both laughed a little.

"Bye, Kiku."

"Bye, Zack."

We hugged again, and then he was gone.

;;;;;

I was awake for a long time that night, sitting with my forehead against the cold glass, watching raindrops roll down it. A million bad scenarios were running through my head about Zack. About his mission. About what he would find there and the million things that could go wrong.

I think I'm being obsessive, I thought, sighing. But he's my best friend! Maybe I'm just a worrier. But he's my best friend! This is how I'm supposed to feel about my best friend, right? I worry and I wonder if he's alright and everything? It feels like I should be feeling this way... But maybe I'm wrong.

It's happened before.

Zack

I tried to focus on the briefing. On all the information I had to retain about the region and the specific location we were going to. But it was difficult. I kept thinking about Kiku, running around in the rain, and how I wouldn't be able to see her (or even contact her) for who knew how long.

I worried about her being there, even after two weeks. 7th Heaven was a pretty well-known place. Did her father ever go there? Had someone seen her outside and told her father? That was probably the worst thing that could happen.

Not to mention all the things that could happen to me while on this mission, I thought as I lay in bed that night. Worst case, I could die. I knew that getting into SOLDIER. I promised my parents I would be safe, and asked them to wait for me. I promised them I would come back. Now it feels like I have a different promise to keep. Almost a more important one. Or maybe having more people to keep promises to just puts more weight on things.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I can't leave her alone again. I know she and Anna and Clay are friends, but...she's my best friend. I never want to see that look on her face again. That look she had of just total sorrow and hopelessness. I've never seen her look like that before.

It was crazy to think that someone I had come to know as strong, independent, and fierce could look so lost. So completely lost.

Hey, what happened to staying positive? I asked myself. I've been on life-threatening missions before. Everything will be just fine. No matter what happens with Angeal or Hollander or Genesis or anybody, I'll still have my best friend.

I rolled over on my side and closed my eyes.

Now there were three people waiting for me.

Psst! Hey, you! Go to the link in my profile (under the info for this story) and look at the awesome picture my good friend LatteJazz made for this chapter :3