It wasn't true.
Sam was a whirlwind of emotion he couldn't explain.
It wasn't true.
Lucifer didn't care for him. Lucifer hated humanity.
So why did everything the hallucination was saying feel so…familiar?
No. Sam thought. It can't be.
Lucifer didn't sing to Sam over burning flames. He didn't scream with Sam as hooks and nails shredded them both. He didn't distract Sam from the pain by teaching him words in the language of the angels.
The devil didn't do that.
He also didn't wrap Sam in large black wings to shield him from the fire. He didn't murmur softly into Sam's ear that everything was going to be ok. He didn't shiver in pain as hell lashed into him in attempt to reach through him and destroy his other half.
Satan wasn't capable of that.
He also wasn't capable of cool kisses that relieved the burns inflicted by hellfire. He wasn't capable of apologizing for the time it took him to finally reach Sam. He wasn't capable of wrapping Sam in soothingly cold grace that took the pain the away…
Lucifer would not do that.
He also wouldn't tell Sam stories about the creation of the universe. He wouldn't talk about the peaceful time before his fall. He wouldn't talk about aliens or other creatures prior to humans because Sam was curious…
He wouldn't.
Lucifer didn't love. He couldn't. He was a monster.
"You're my bitch, Sam." Lucifer said, "You're my bitch because you can't live without me."
"Shut up!" Sam shouted, "Just shut the hell up!"
"—In every sense of the word." Lucifer continued.
"Shut up!" Sam shouted.
"But doesn't it feel…nice to finally put words to what you're feeling?" Lucifer asked.
Sam realized he was on his feet and shaking, "You're lying." he said.
Lucifer strode toward Sam slowly, "I never lie, Sam. That's one thing you humans definitely got wrong about me. I never. Ever. Lie."
In the back of his mind, Sam heard the words echoed by another voice, only this one was deeper, and accompanied by a dark figure with giant wings, red eyes, and cold hands that gently rubbed circles on Sam's back…
"Leave me alone." Sam said in a shaky voice.
"Face it, Sam. You miss me." Lucifer went on, "You miss me so badly you can't stand it."
"No, I don't!" Sam exclaimed.
"You know I have no idea what happened to you? I'm just wading through lakes of hellfire, trying desperately to find you…" Lucifer went on.
A tear fell from Sam's eye, "Bullshit." He said.
"Truth is, I miss you too, Sam. I want us to be together. Forever. Like we were supposed to be." Lucifer said.
"No." Sam said.
"You know what to do, Sam." Lucifer said.
"No." Sam turned away, panting "That's not even logical. Even if I –do go to Hell. The Cage is all locked up. We wouldn't even be close to each to other."
"You figured out how to release me last time. Come on, Sam, you're my true Vessel." Lucifer said, "You'll find a way…"
"No." Sam breathed, "There's no way…"
"Yeah, you're probably right." Lucifer conceded, "You'll never see me again. And that's the worst part, isn't it?"
"Is this a bad time?" A new voice asked.
Sam turned around, "Marin!" he exclaimed.
Thank God. This was just what he needed. A distraction.
The redheaded girl stared up at him with wary blue eyes. Sam realized she'd probably heard him 'talking to himself'.
"Uh, no, not at all." Sam replied awkwardly.
Marin raised her eyebrows and inclined her head.
"Uh," Sam blinked and rubbed his face, "I have something for you, actually." Sam reached in his sock and pulled out the lighter he'd stolen from Marcus, "You still have the bracelet?"
Marin hurriedly pointed to the cord bracelet wrapped around her wrist.
Behind her, Lucifer sat at his usual place on top the table and watched them.
"Great." Sam said and hurriedly shut the door. It was time to concentrate. He pulled the chair out from under the table where Lucifer was sitting and put it underneath the door handle so no one could get in.
"We're gonna make a salt circle." Sam said.
He reached under his bed and pulled out the white shaker. Beside him, Marin pulled another salt shaker out of her pocket and together they made a white circle large enough for both of them to stand inside.
A gust of air blew the salt out of place and Sam looked up in alarm to see Lucifer blowing on their circle.
"What?" Marin asked in worry.
"You're gonna have to do this on your own." Sam said.
He couldn't focus. Not like this.
Marin's pink mouth came open and Sam said, "It's ok. I'm ok. I'm just having a little…" he waved his bandaged hand.
"—brown acid moment?" Lucifer suggested.
"Dizzy thing." Sam said, "It'll pass."
"Definitely. When your heart stops." Lucifer said. The angel's eyes were unrelenting and malicious. Did those icy pools never end?
"Stay with me in the circle." Sam heard himself saying. He and Marin were standing inside the salt outline now, "No matter what happens. Stay inside the circle no matter what." He told her seriously.
"What's gonna happen?" Marin asked. She was a smart one. Sam liked how easily she caught on.
"Give me the bracelet." Sam said.
The lights started flickering and the air was suddenly icy cold.
Cold like Lucifer…
No. Icy like a ghost. Focus Sam. Sam told himself.
Sam and Marin looked toward the door when the lights flicked again. They could hear the electricity crackling. Their breaths came out in a fog.
The lights flickered again and an apparition appeared in front of them. A ghost. Marin's brother.
"Marin. Don't do this. Please." The ghost said. He had copper-colored hair and shadows underneath his eyes. He was wearing a dirty brown jacket over a moss green t-shirt.
"Marin, give me the bracelet." Sam said, afraid she would change her mind and let the ghost talk her out of it.
"I'm so sorry I have to." Marin told her brother, her voice breaking.
Marin yanked the bracelet off her wrist.
The chair under the door rattled, then was flung across the room and into the opposing wall.
POW! POW! One by one the florescent lights above them shattered.
Marin and Sam ducked and covered their heads.
The room was dark now, save for the flickering lights in the hallway and moonlight shining through the blinds.
Marin's brother was very angry. His blue eyes were icy cold and he was glowering at them.
"Marin. No. I want you to come with me." The ghost said.
Marin handed the bracelet to Sam.
"Marin, I thought you loved me." The ghost protested.
Sam set the bracelet on fire.
"NOOOOO!" The ghost shouted. He erupted into flames that quickly burned through his apparition.
Marin's brother screamed and then he was gone.
Sam panted and looked at Marin.
"Y-you gotta go. Go." Sam told her.
Marin quickly ran out of the salt circle. She turned around, "Thank you." She said and her white-clad figure hurried out the door.
Marcus ran into Sam's room, followed by another Doctor in glasses.
Sam knew something like this would happen.
They grabbed Sam's arms and pinned them behind his back. Then Sam's whole world faded to white.
"Sam?" the voice sounded muffled, like Sam's ears were stuffed with cotton.
"Sam are you with me?" a bright light was being shone into Sam's eyes.
A fuzzy silhouette appeared in his vision. The blurry image gradually came into the focus.
"Sam? How you feeling now." The blue-eyed, balding Doctor asked. Lucifer was perched behind him.
"His soul is broken doc, can you give him a pill?" Lucifer asked.
"I can't give you anymore medication." The Doctor was saying, "The potential for overdose is too great."
Sam sighed and flexed. His wrist and ankles were tied to the bed with leather straps.
He flexed his hands and realized his nails were broken and bloody.
"We need to talk about surgical solutions." The Doctor was saying.
"Surgical?" Sam blinked.
"Oooo. Lobotomy?" Lucifer looked interested.
"It's ok, we're not talking lobotomy here." The Doctor said in response to Sam's worried look.
"Darn." Lucifer said.
Sam groaned and lay on his pillow. His vision spun.
"Sam? Are you with me?" the Doctor's voice grew distant again, "Sam?"
Sam's world faded back to white.