My Little Pony: Friendship is a Bizarre Adventure

Part 1: Phantom Shimmer

Chapters Lost In Time: Ruler Board

Zeppeli flew into the air and rolled onto the ground, covered in snow from the mountaintops. He had found the temple grounds of Ripple training. But, as is life, many obstacles were before him. One such hurdle here at the entrance, stranger than he believed. A large monk in layerex clothing wielded a long thin metal plank. Like a staff, yet more like a fence. A giant oversized ruler. He hadn't even seen the man before he had been struck back several feet. The monk held the weapon up. Zeppeli could barely see his face past the snow and hoof.

"You, are not yet, worthy."

With a grunt, the young Italian stood to his feet.

"I didn't think those of the Ripple, the life giving energy, were such assholes! C'mon you burly burlap sewn schmuck!"

Zeppeli ran at the monk. He saw the ruler and jumped to the side, and dodged a thrust, the weapon stood out held flat.

"Heh! That's a rather worthless weapon, ain't it-"

The ruler struck him in the side as the monk simply turned himself. It was then turned vertically and slammed into his entire right side of the upper body. Zeppeli fell to the ground, but rolled to make a fast recovery. The monk swung the ruler low to sweep Zeppeli off his feet, but Zeppeli jumped and caught the ruler under his foot.

"Gotcha! I haven't been schooled so hard since my mother threw the book at me!"

The monk began to course with a golden light and struck his weapon as he brought his end down to lift Zeppeli into the air.

"Wh... What...!?"

The ruler flew from the monk's hands and flipped in the air, the other side knocked Zeppeli further away from the templetemple by striking his jaw. It hurt for a moment, then his mouth and jaw felt numb. As he fell, he saw the ruler return to the monk. He blacked out upon contact with the ground. He woke up to a woman that wrapped a bandage over his head.

"You seem to be stuck."

"Well, if I ain't dead, I'm lucky to see an angel at my side."

"An... Angel? You're too kind, sir!"

"That's just my hello, I'll gladly show you how I say, goodnight."

He winked at her before hissing in agony.

"Sweet Theresa's tits on a milker, what the Hell hurts so much?!"

"That would be your head. You were struck with the Ripple. You were not worthy to enter, correct?"

"How in the fuck...?"

The woman brought his hand up with her own.

"You passed my village on the way there. We are as servants to the monks of the Ripple. We provide to them what the world away will not. Few come, and even fewer are accepted by those of the Ripple... It seems, you are of the unfortunate."

"Wrong there, lassie. I ain't dead, so I'm going up there again. That snowy yeti fuck ain't going to scare me away with a beating weaker than the piss of a rat!"

"It will not be. Not as long as you see the Ripple as a simple tool."

"Eh?"

"Sir, I find you interesting, so I'll tell you a secret... You must have a strong heart to bear the burden of the Ripple."

"What's that mumbo jumbo s'posed to mean?"

"Try again, and find out. You're doing this because, you are hurting, but the Ripple is not what you seek."

"As if you know anything outside of how to make a basket for bread, ya slag! I don't care if-"

"You lose an arm or a leg?"

"...! How did you...?"

"The Ripple can do many things, sir. Try again, if you believe you will learn."

Zeppeli stared at the woman warily before he left the village. A path followed back to the temple. Back to the monk.

"You, are not yet, worthy."

"That's okay, I got something that'll, blow your mind!"

Zeppeli pulled out a gun and fired it. He actually aimed for the shoulder, he wasn't going to kill anyone now. However, the monk held a pebble in hand. Radiated and beaming that golden glow before it fired like a bullet. It broke the bullet and crushed Zeppeli's finger.

"Graaagh! What the actual frosty fu-"

The monk had thrown a larger rock at his head. He woke up to the woman. She shook her head as he laid in bed.

"You can't cheat using false weapons. You have too use your body, and only that. Your mind and soul are apart of that body, use that as well."

"I'm not here for spiritual guidance! I just need a way to destroy the Stone Mask!"

"That artifact brings suffering and misfortune, it is the opposite of the Ripple. Which came first, not even I know. But, you must respect the Ripple."

"As if! I know what his games are. I won't be back here again, except to see you."

Zeppeli, though tired and in pain, ventured back to the monk.

"You, are not yet, worthy."

"Stuff that stick and my foot up your urethra, cause I don't give a fuck about anything that comes from your mouth, but the screams of anguish as I kick you in the frozen schlong!"

Zeppeli charged at him like before, to trick him into doing the same attack. But something was wrong. There was nothing in the monk's hands. The hooded figure raised a foot and stomped down on the ground. Under Zeppeli's feet, the ruler flew up and sent him flying at the monk. Zeppeli was met with a barrage of relentless golden punches. He woke up with a groan to the woman stirring a bowl of soup.

"You act too rashly. Here, drink this, you must be hungry."

"Feeding and taking care of me? You'd better be careful, I might get certain vibes."

"You make play talk and bring lightness to your situation. But, is it misplaced?"

"Not more with this buffoonery..."

"The Ripple must be respected. Like a mother, it nurtures us, but disciplines us, it is every bit as loving as it is cruel. It takes time to understand. You are one with the cruelty, but you don't love, only lust for your selfish solutions. You're hurt, and you see the Ripple as a solution. The Triple, must be respected."

Zeppeli, didn't care for this speech, at first. But the more she spoke, the more he began to understand.

"Strong heart. What do I have to do to get it! What will make my heart strong!"

"William, you already have one. What you lack is the life to go with it. To flow into you. You're hurting, but the wound has healed... It scars, but you will live. Don't have a heart with hate... Only courage."

"Courage... I... I know what I must do.

Zeppeli approached the monk in the harsh winds. Neither raised a fist or a weapon against the other.

"..."

"I need to learn the Ripple. I want to."

"You, are not yet, worthy."

"Then teach me how to be."

"... Time will tell. You, are not yet, worthy. You are however, ready. Willam A. Zeppeli. Wake up."

Zeppeli's frost covered eyes, weakly opened up as he laid in front of the temple. He sat up and looked back. The path to the village was gone. The mountain wall was all that was. He stood up and hobbled to the door. It had opened, an old man looked him up and down.

"Who are you?"

"... I, am not yet worthy... But I am ready... I don't care how grueling it is. I must learn the Ripple... I'm not afraid..."

"... You will be, my boy. You, will be."