-1So. I'm back… sorry it took so long! I swear, I really was busy, and I got sick, and kicked off the computer, and then it broke for a few days… and then I got writer's block! So sorry if this sucks… but I figured you'd all want SOMETHING after over two weeks. Right? I finished the second Night Huntress novel, I actually memorized the page Bones shows up (77) and chapter 32 was… interesting? Haha… try more like kinky. Bones's history was very evident. ;) And The Host comes out in two days! And they're cancelling Moonlight! NO!! And…ponders… I think that's it. Huh. Well, sorry - again - for taking so long, but please, review! I loves you all!

The uncertainty hit as soon as I knocked on the door.

Why was I here, in front of his door? What irrational logic had convinced me to come up and talk to him? Maybe I hadn't even been thinking. Just because the walls had been down between us earlier, didn't give me any right or reason -

He opened the door. My eyes flashed up, then back down to my feet. Obviously, he was still pissed off, and I wondered again what Alice had whispered. I stepped inside as he held the door open, glancing around at his room from the corners of my eyes. Golden toned walls and carpet, one wall as a huge window, a black couch, and a whole wall dedicated to music. I'd have to check that out later.

The music he had been playing turned down and he turned to stare at me.

"So, what is it you want?"

"Aro to choke to death painfully on a fish bone," I muttered.

"What?"

I cleared my throat. "Nothing. I just…" I frowned at myself and my sudden inability to speak. "What's Alice say to you?" Finally, I brought my gaze up from the floor to meet his dark onyx eyes.

"Nothing of importance," he said smoothly, some of the tightness in his face disappearing. Alice had said the same thing; I hadn't believed her, either.

I snorted. "You're a terrible liar. If it's nothing, please, explain you behavior?" I blinked up with innocent curiosity at him.

A corner of his mouth quirked up, and the remaints of his anger was replaced by amusement.

"Let me rephrase - it is nothing of importance today. Now, Carlisle is down in his study waiting for you." He led me downstairs to Carlisle's office, seemingly over whatever had upset him. I bit the inside of my cheek; since he wouldn't tell me, it was back to Alice. For a moment, I mused over what I could offer up in return for the information, and could only come up with one thing. Shopping. I grimaced at the idea, but knew I'd have to do it. Edward frowned at me in confusion; I cleared my expression and smiled slightly at him. No way was I going to let him in on what I was planning when he might try to distract me. Besides, Alice was or would be seeing my decision to bribe her any time now.

Carlisle glanced up as we entered and smiled. "Bella. Nice to see you again."

I returned his warm smile. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, I-"

A very loud, exuberant, high-pitched and delighted squeal from downstairs interrupted us. We all glanced towards the door momentarily, but from Edward's frown I could tell he didn't know what she'd seen. I smiled slightly, taking it that Alice had seen my offer and was going to agree.

"As I was saying, the other day, I offered to bring you along when we went out for our next hunt. Do you still wish to join us?"

I straightened with interest. "Yes, of course. When?"

He smiled and chuckled a little at the undertone of eagerness in my voice. "Tonight, a few hours from now. All of us are going. Of course, it will never be as satisfying as the traditional diet, but it can help increase your resistance."

I looked down at my hands for a moment, thinking how to phrase what I wanted to say. "Well… I already have some measure of self-control. All the Volturi learn it in some degree to allow us to do our jobs without drawing undue attention." I said slowly. "It doesn't really last long, but…" I looked back up at him. "I really want to try this, Carlisle. It'd mean so much to me if I could resist killing people and instead be a vegetarian. I would owe you so much… I already do. Just by showing me this lifestyle, this alternative… you've helped me so, so much. More than I can say."

Carlisle looked at me with gentle compassion. "Bella, it is nothing. I'm glad you're willing to try. You owe us none of us anything whatsoever."

We talked for a while about some things, including Sunday's race. He and Esme hadn't decided completely if they were going to participate, but he assured me they would both be there to watch.

The moment Edward and I stepped out of the door, Alice ambushed me, like I had figured she would. "Bella, can I see you for a minute?"

I nodded and allowed her to drag me to her room, where she shut the door and blocked it with her little arms spread across. As if that would really stop me if I wanted through.

"I believe you had an offer for me, dear Miss. Swan?"

I smirked. "I'll let you take me shopping if you tell me what you told Edward." I crossed my arms and watched her think this through.

Finally she came to a decision and nodded firmly. "Alright. Let me take you to the mall before we go hunting, and then I'll tell you."

I laughed loudly at that. "No go. You tell me now and I let you take me."

She glared. "How do I know you won't take one of those mondo fast cars of your's and disappear after I tell you?"

I slowly raised a brow. "Wouldn't you see that?"

She narrowed her eyes again. "Not if you were blocking me." she muttered darkly.

I uncrossed my arms, laughing. "You're not bad, Alice. Not bad at all. Alright, how about this? You and I go to the mall. I walk inside. If, and only if, you tell me what you told Edward, I'll let you drag me to any store you want. If you don't… I will get away from you. Do not doubt that."

She eyed me. Then held out her tiny hand. "Deal."

"Good." I smiled, then added, "And don't let Edward know."

She snorted. "Oh, yeah, I'm going to let him know I told you something he wanted to keep from you. I might be willing to take risks some times, but I'm not dumb, Bells."

I laughed, but then smirked and said. "Good to know. Now, if you'll excuse me…" I ducked past her, bending double to do so, out the door, down the stairs. Esme looked up as I wandered into the living room, and smiled.

"Hello, Bella, dear. Rose and the boys are outside, wrestling, I believe, if you want to join them."

I smiled at her. "Thank you. I think I will." I slipped out the door into the back, wandering along the porch and then down the stairs, heading towards the garage. When I walked in, Rose glanced up from the inside of my car, and smiled.

"Hey, Bells. I think I'm going to have to order a new stereo, too. I didn't realize he'd busted it this bad."

I rolled my eyes. "Neither did I, or I'd have mentioned it."

She laughed, and closed the car door gently. She paused, hands on hips, and shook her head. "No offense, but your car's so busted, I barely know where to start!"

I shrugged. "None taken. Good luck." I glanced around. "Um, where are the guys?"

She shrugged, already absorbed back into the work ahead of her, so I wandered back outside. Around to the front of the house, Emmett and Jasper were circling each other, grinning.

"Bring it, Jazzy. I can take you any time, any place." Emmett called.

Jasper snorted. "So you always say, Em, yet you rarely produce that result."

Emmett made a face at him. "I'm going to win the bet about Bella!"

I froze at that and tilted my head to the side. They had a bet about me?

Jasper rolled his eyes. "No, you won't. She's been on a traditional diet for years now. It'll be harder for her to resist slipping up than if she started when she was turned."

Emmett rolled his eyes, and then suddenly leaped across the space between them to crash into Jasper, probably hoping to catch him by surprise. It didn't work, and Jasper and him ended up rolling around in the grass. I was frozen. They were betting how often I'd… slip up? How many people I'd kill after I started on this life of theirs? How… encouraging.

"They bet about everything. You shouldn't take it seriously, or personally. I think they have a gambling problem."

I turned in surprise, not having noticed Edward come up behind me. I shrugged, trying to brush it off as if it didn't bother me, but I don't think I fooled him.

He glanced at me, and smiled. "Alice is saying she got you to go shopping with her?"

I nodded, turning to look back out at the two wrestling brothers.

"I convinced her to wait until after we hunt, since then you'll be able to resist better, not being so hungry and all."

I nodded. The silence stretched for a few minutes, then I found myself blurting quietly, "Did you ever mess up?"

He glanced sideways at me, his expression unreadable. Vaguely, I found myself thinking Marcus would be proud of such a poker face. Slowly, Edward folded himself down on the ground. I sat beside him, not expecting an answer and knowing I had no right to one.

"At one point, I left Carlisle and Esme." he murmured. I glanced at him, surprised. He wasn't looking at me, just staring in the distance, as he continued. "I wasn't entirely sold on this life of abstinence and resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time. From the time of my new birth, I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and nonhuman alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle - I could read his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did.

"It took my only a few years to return and recommit, though. I thought I would be exempt from the… depression… that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I would pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl - if I saved her, then surely I wasn't so terrible."

I stared at him, amazed by this story. Edward - perfect, gorgeous Edward - knew what it was like to try to find the evil instead of the innocent, yet still not be free of guilt. It made me feel less a monster, knowing that the people in this family weren't perfect, either. I could see it amazingly clearly, from my imagination and own experiences combined. The alley at night, the frightened girl, the dark man behind her. And Edward, Edward as he hunted, terrible and glorious as a young god, unstoppable. And the torn expression on the girl's face… fear of this new terror and, yet, also grateful for being saved.

"But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved." he ended so softly that I nearly missed it. But then he glanced at me, a small, somewhat sad smile on his perfect face. "Almost every one of us has slipped up at some point, so don't let those two get to you. Or any one else. They're harmless, I swear." He winked at me, and I finally smiled, laughing slightly.

I shook my head. "I know they don't mean any harm. Honestly, I can't see Emmett just hurting anyone like that. If he wanted to cause harm, it'd be pretty intentional. Not to mention painful."

Edward laughed. "Got it in one. He's mainly harmless, until the family is threatened."

I leaned back, resting on my elbows as Jasper threw Emmett a few feet across the yard, or - perhaps more appropriately - field. Edward shook his head, laughing quietly.

I looked over at him, tilting my head and raising a brow in question.

He shook his head, and said, "Emmett was thinking about how he was going to get Jasper back for beating him at wrestling. It involves, so far, a bucket of soapy water and 'kidnapping' Alice." He shook his head again, chuckling. I smiled.

"How creative. But I could do better." When he glanced my way with a questioning glance, I just grinned and shrugged. "I've lived with Aaron, Felix, Demetri, and Alec for the past three years. And trust me - out of everyone there, they are the most fun. Jane's always trying to torture people and is pissed at me cause she can't, and Heidi is gone a lot, and Cate just keeps to herself. And no way am I going to hang around with the terribly boring trio."

He laughed. "I suppose there's no need to ask who they are?"

I snorted. "Doesn't take a genius to guess."

Edward glanced towards the house, then stood. He offered a hand to me and helped me up; I tried to ignore the tingling sensation that touching his hand brought to life, then fought the urge to shake my hand once he released it to get rid of it.

"Carlisle says that we're ready to go." He walked a few feet to the house, then paused and glanced back at me. "Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose are taking Em's jeep. Carlisle and Esme are going in the Mercedes… do you want to join me in the Volvo?"

I smiled, pleased by the thought of time alone with Edward. Which I probably shouldn't be, but I could no longer find any energy to care. I walked over to him, then followed him to his car. The rest of the family were already getting in and driving off. A few minutes later, we were all on the road, driving to some park across state. Edward turned on the CD player, and after a moment, I was able to recognize the elusively familiar notes.

"Claire de Lune?" I asked, surprised.

"You know Debussy?" He sounded as surprised as I felt.

I shrugged. "Not well, only my favorites… this was one my mom used to play around the house. It's one of the few things I can remember from my human life." I murmured.

He watched me for a moment more, then looked back at the road. The rest of the car ride passed in a comfortable silence, with very little conversation between us.

We parked and stepped out, joining the rest of the family. Emmett was rubbing his hands together eagerly.

"Yes! Grizzlies, here I come!"

I blinked a couple of times, frowning, while Edward chuckled softly at my expression. "Emmett loves grizzly bears. Especially in the spring; more irritable." he explained.

I raised my brows and nodded my head once slowly. "Oh, yeah. Nothing like an irritable grizzly bear."

He laughed, along with Alice and Emmett, whom had wandered over to join us.

"Emmett has a fascination with bears." she said. "And he loves taking huge risks and danger. The two go hand in hand."

Emmett glared playfully at her. "Yeah, yeah. Says the shop addict who has no recollection of her past."

She laughed. "Still not as bad as you!"

Rose came over, rolling her eyes. "The two goofs of the family. Don't you love them?" She leaned against Emmett's side, and he slung an arm over her shoulder, hugging her close.

"It's why you love me!"

Carlisle called out, telling us to all meet back here in an hour and a half. The couples split off together, but Edward paused and looked back at me.

"Come on. I'll show you the ropes." He smiled his crooked smile at me, making my insides turn into a warm mush. I met up with him, then followed him at a run into the thick woods.

An hour and a half with Edward? I could totally deal with that.