A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update. I really hate myself sometimes.. :(
And THANKYOU for all of your amazing reviews! I've reached 100+...which feels so incredibly nice, and at the same time makes me feel even guiltier for not updating earlier...
Thank you- WhiteSheWolf17, TCP4ever, Neko-chan2604, Guest, andyantopia, annia9semi, Camille loves Chocolate, Darkmyr-InuYashaFan, Star fire girl 788, EmpressMinea, totalecipse84, Iris Irine, Lots of Angst, ilovebks, Nobody's Apple, Hunnybee07 of the shadow, Guest and D.
If I've missed anyone, I'm so terribly sorry. I love you all a great deal, and I'm emotionally overwhelmed and weird right now, so...yeah... -.-
To andyantopia- Your review stood out :) I had to go to Google Translate to know what you wrote. Yes, Ichigo cares a lot for her, if only they both could see it...
Thank you for the corrections, Iris Irine. Yeah, 'buti' is wrong, I meant to say 'but I-" :P
DISCLAIMER- Don't own Bleach. Still working on an ingenious plan.
After the fall
We can recover
What's left in the dark
Can still be discovered
Welcome Back To Existence
Rukia groaned as a blinding light hit her eyes, starting a fresh wave of headache in her already compressing brain. She felt heavy. Oh God, so heavy..
She looked around, squinting, her hands running over the soft linen bedsheets she lay on. Her head was lying on a hard pillow, and she could smell bitter medication in the air. She was in a hospital no doubt, but...why?
Why had she been saved?
She clutched the bedsheets and sighed as she heard a shuffle from somewhere near her.
"Wha- wait- Rukia?! Oh thank- fuck..."
She faintly recognized this voice...
"My God- you complete, fucking IDIOT!"
She cringed and let out another groan, snuggling into the blanket as she closed her eyes tightly. She wanted to sleep...
"No! No, you do NOT get to close your fucking eyes! You open them! I'm ordering you- open them and listen to my fucking lecture, Rukia!"
Why the hell was this voice so familiar...? She'd heard it before, in the back of her mind, taunting her, irritating her, warming her... It was almost as if she knew this person for a thousand years, and yet he never failed to annoy the hell out of her...who was-? Her eyes shot open, shocked, as her vision finally focused on the fuming orange-haired teen standing there in front of her.
"I-Ichigo...?"
Was she dreaming?
"Yes- Ichigo! Surprised to see me? Thought you were gonna die? Well, sorry for the disappointment!"
"...What-?" she tried to sit up, but she was aching all over, and Ichigo strode over, clutching her shoulder and pushing her back onto the bed. She looked up at him in curiosity, but he just glared.
"Don't you dare get up" he growled. The corners of his eyes were red-rimmed, and he looked like he might punch and trash everything in his way. She knew he was furious, but strangely, the thought of that made her feel...so,so good.
"What are you doing here?"
"No-!" he yelled angrily "The question here would be- what the fuck are you doing here?! Slashing your arms up- trying to die- what the hell is wrong with you?!"
She winced again. He had every right to be upset, but the sound of his voice was giving her a pounding headache...
"Look, I get that you're angry, but-"
"Angry? OF COURSE I'M ANGRY- YOU TRIED TO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF!"
"Ichigo, shut up!" she snapped, clutching her head as she glared at the heavily breathing teenager. He looked deranged "Lower your volume down if you don't want to get thrown out of here!"
"I will do what I want- since you seem to be doing the same!" he glared, but his volume was low nonetheless.
"Oh, please, stop pretending as if you know everything!" she shot back, looking around.
Where was Kuro?
"I was calling you because I wanted to know everything, Rukia! I have no fucking clue what's going on! You come in here, bleeding to death, your dad says nothing, just stares like he's a maniac and then runs away and my own Dad is acting like a frickin' secret agent!" Ichigo's eyes glowered "So will you tell me what's going on now?!"
"He- he what?" Rukia blinked, her eyes wide in disbelief "He ran away?"
Ichigo's brow furrowed "Who- your dad?" When she said nothing, Ichigo shrugged in irritations "Yeah, he's not back yet. Look, will you stop with all the secrets? Just tell me and I won't say anything, you know me better that that! For God's sake, we were hanging out only hours ago, what the hell could have happened in the past couple of hours to make you do this?!"
The shouting, the excitement, the shock, the adrenaline- it was getting to her.
Kuro had run away and Ichigo may think he was going to come back, but Rukia knew he wasn't. Kuro was gone for good. She was alone- all over again. She felt woozy and exhausted, so much so that this piece of news did nothing to her. She could feel nothing, and she looked up to look into Ichigo's fire-lit eyes.
He looked defiant, and for some reason, Rukia couldn't help but laugh.
"Stop laughing!" she halted abruptly as she saw the anger in his eyes, and her amusement washed away when she saw the way he was looking at her. He looked panicked- out of control, he was shaking, as if the news of Rukia dying had him losing his mind, as if he had no idea what to do..
"Stop being so hysterical, Ichigo, I promise I-"
"I have every right to be hysterical!" Ichigo shouted, his amber eyes ablaze "i was- how can- who did this to you? What made you do this? You just tell me the name and I'll go fucking kill him, Rukia! Just tell me- give me the word and I'll do anything- but don't fucking kill yourself!" his voice was wavering and his gaze still burned into her "Do you know how worried I was? Do you know how it felt to come to the hospital, without a damn clue- and watch m-my-" he took a loud breath and shook his head, as if trying to shake the feeling off "-watch you lying there, dead? Do you know what it was like to fucking watch that heart monitor go straight and see you have no heart beat?!"
"Ichigo-"
"Who the hell do you think you are to have any right to kill yourself?! You're selfish- you're doing nothing but escaping- how could you j-just...!"
And Rukia watched with growing horror as Ichigo punched the wall in anger and turned his back to her. At that moment, she realised it was about so much more than just her. He wasn't talking about Rukia, he was also talking about someone else- someone Rukia didn't know about.
"Ichigo..."
"Don't die." he said, his voice hoarse as he turned to face her once again, his head bowed down. His orange bangs covered his eyes, casting a shadow on his face so that she couldn't see any expression on his face.
Rukia's eyes softened "Ichigo, you-"
"No- it's not a request, Rukia. I'm not asking you." he looked up into her eyes defiantly and she saw the scorching amber; they were shining more than usual as he glared at her "I'm done with requesting- I'm done with it. I'mordering you. Don't you fucking die, you hear that?"
Rukia's heart was beating wildly. Someone needed her. For a change- in a miraculous, ironic turn of events- someone else was telling her to stay alive- and it wasn't because she had nowhere to run to or because even her attempt to die had failed- but because someone needed her to live.
And even though Ichigo said those words with obvious fury, there was a certain desperation behind those words that they were both aware of, and Rukia found herself smiling.
She tilted her head to watch him through glittering violet eyes. "Well, I guess I can't really do anything if it's an order can I?"
She watched as relief washed over Ichigo's face as he brought a trembling hand to run a palm over his stressed face. She watched as his breath left his body in a break from exhaustion and he strode over to her bed where she sat. She looked at him with widening eyes as he neared her, determination etched upon his eyes.
She felt it when his strong arms wrapped around her and he brought her to his chest, giving her the tightest, most bone-crunching hug in the history of tightest, most bone-crunching hugs. She felt it when he buried his face in her neck and clutched her desperately. She felt it when he shifted onto the bed gently, not letting go of her once and let her head rest on his shoulder, telling her softly to go to sleep.
And he felt it too.
"...You want me to spend the rest of the holidays with you?" Rukia aked, blinking.
Isshin let out a goofy grin, thumping his chest proudly "Yes! You'll have your house all to yourself now, of course, but it's so lonely there!"
"...You mean peaceful" Ichigo snorted from a chair nearby, leaning back as he watched the two.
"Pfft!"Isshin waved his son off indifferently "Rukia doesn't want peace- she wants fun! She wants adventure! She wants action! She wants-"
"-a new doctor?"
"-the classic Isshin Kurosaki Therapeutic Recovery Remedies!"
Ichigo sent his dad a thoroughly frustrated look "The what?!"
"The Classic Isshin Kuro-"
"I hear, you crazy idiot! And it makes no fucking sense! We're sticking to the original plan, Rukia." Ichigo turned to Rukia "We both will go to your place once you're discharged. I'll make sure you have everything, and I'll visit everyday, okay?"
"Nooooooooooo...! My own son- my own- how could you DO this, you- you STRANGER?!" Isshin cried, pointing dramatically at Ichigo "RUKIA, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM- HE JUST WANTS TO GET LAID!"
"Wha-?! THE HELL I DO!"
"Yes, yes, he does! And he doesn't want his old man there! He wants to do it all alone- with no instructions, no steps, no-"
"SHUT UP!"
Rukia giggled as she watched Ichigo kick his father.
"I AM NOT INTERESTED IN THAT KINDA STUFF!"
"OH MY GOD, MY EARS, MY EARS! MY SON IS GAAAAY..."
CRASH!
"I- SAID- SHUT- UP!"
Rukia smirked, lying back as she enjoyed the show.
Ah, the hospital and it's many quirks.
The day arrived when Rukia was to be discharged. She had suffered from a mild concussion from her fall, and her cuts had to be stitched up, so now there were actually a bunch of stitches on her arm spilling out- 'PERFECT', which was pretty funny in her opinion, although Ichigo hadn't really thought so.
"Why does it say 'Perfect'?" he'd asked her.
Rukia had shrugged. Frankly, she didn't know. To her, the word had always been synonymous to being the best- the sole epitome of being known far and wide for who you were, for how good you were.
"It's stupid." Ichigo had answered flatly when she'd told him that "You're an idiot to think that you aren't perfect- or to want to be like that. And you're damn well not going to be so if you keep on cutting yourself like that."
Rukia had gotten offended at that and Ichigo frowned, telling her he'd just been kidding, to which she'd snapped something rude back. What followed was the biggest, loudest, most disastrous fight the hospital had ever seen.
Now that Rukia actually thought about it- it had really been very funny. She had to be sedated in the end- and Ichigo was banned from visiting her, as they said he 'provoked' her.
He hadn't really let the ban stop him though, because that night he'd climbed up her hospital window- her room being on the first floor- to meet her.
"What is- are you insane?!" she hissed, her eyes widening as she recognized the orange hair of the guy who climbed in through her window and fell to the floor with a loud thud, cursing under his breath.
"Ichigo! What the hell are you doing here?!"
He rose up, frowning, rubbing his head.
"What does it look like, midget?" The nurses wouldn't let me in through the door."
She threw a book at him "Don't call me midget!"
He caught it with ease, rolling his eyes. The calm chirping of the crickets could be heard from the hospital garden outside- it was a full moon night as Ichigo walked over to her bed and sat down on the chair nearby.
Rukia watched him, trying to keep her expression as angry as possible, but she couldn't help it- how could she be mad at him for going to such an extent to meet her?
"I'm sorry." he muttered.
She looked at him, startled "For what?"
"For saying that- about your cuts- that was kinda insensitive."
She arched a brow "You think?"
He glared at her "Just take the apology while I still mean it, Rukia."
She shook her head, chuckling "It's fine. You were kidding, though your sense of humor is obviously horrible."
He glared at her in the moonlight "My sense of humor's completely fine, thank you very much!"
She laughed again "Are you kidding me? You don't know how to make jokes, Ichigo. You're like an old grumbling man who complains all the time. An old grumbling man with orange hair." She giggled as his cheeks flushed pink.
"Well then you're a midget- a stupid, quiet midget who likes to paint and colour all the time!"
She eyed him, amused "Were you trying to be funny? Because that wasn't, but watching you try was hilarious."
He flushed even more, and dropped his head in his hands "I can't believe I climbed a window to come to all this.."
She grinned, shifting in her bed "Admit it. You can't live without me."
"Ha ha."
"You missed me so much, even one storey and an army of evil nurses couldn't stop you from coming to see me."
"More like the fact that I wanted to defy gravity and prove the nurses wrong, and show them I could find a way to see you." he jutted out his jaw stubbornly.
"Well, then, you've found it." Rukia's eyes glinted as she tilted her head to the side, shrugging non-chalantly "Why don't you leave then?"
There was a moment of silence when she smirked and Ichigo looked up to glare at her.
"I hate you."
"Hm. I still believe you missed me."
He snorted "Believe whatever the hell you want."
She smiled at him, shaking her head as she felt genuine warmth flood her "…You're a very bad liar, you know that?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
She sighed, settling down comfortably in her bed and looking at him from her place. Despite his usual trademark scowl, lit up by the moonlight, he was sitting rigidly, and had such a hard posture that he might've been a statue.
"Something is troubling you." she said idly.
She saw him stiffen, and knew in an instant she was right, but he didn't meet her eyes. Instead he looked away, eyes pointed at the full moon outside, lighting up his pale face. "Like I said- I don't know what you're talking about." he said gruffly.
"And like I said, you're a bad liar."
She saw him grit his teeth and clench his fists, but he said nothing.
"You don't have to tell me, you know. You can say that you don't want to tell me- but don't lie." She said quietly.
"Fine" he said flatly "I don't want to tell you."
Her eyes softened, even though his voice was harsh.
"I'm sorry, you know" she said quietly, watching his for relax a little as her words reached his ears "I'm sorry for what I did. But I said I won't do it again- and I mean it."
He looked up at her, and his eyes were doubtful.
"But why did you do it, Rukia?" his voice was soft- no pressure, no anger, nothing except for a saddening curiosity.
She bit her lip. She wondered if she was ready to tell Ichigo about all of the complicated history that came alone with her. Moreover, what if he realized finally what a huge burden she was and left her? At this point, he was literally the only one she had.
"I…"
Ichigo caught the look on her face and shifted "..Uh, you know that, never mind."
She looked at him in confusion as he ran a hand through his hair "But-"
He shrugged "You can tell me some other time."
She nodded as he eyed her once more "But you promise you won't do it again, right?"
"I promise." She smiled, breathing easily once again.
He relaxed, leaning back on his chair "That's good, midget."
She frowned and grabbed her pillow, hitting him smack on the face so that it sent him spiraling back, coughing and spluttering.
"Don't call me midget!"
Rukia had been in the hospital for three days before she had been discharged that morning. They had run some last tests to makes sure the blade hadn't infected her blood, that the stitches were in place, that her vision was perfect, and that she was completely fine.
She breathed in and stood there in the lobby with Ichigo and couldn't help but feel strangely fresh. She felt reborn, and unbelievably good- and figured the feeling must be appropriate- they were in a hospital after all.
"Now you be good and no razors in the house!" Isshin said authoritatively, shaking her hands as Ichigo frowned from behind her "And when in doubt- call me! I will answer each and every one of your questions! And before you even ask me- I will tell you the answer to your most obvious question-" Isshin leaned in to be closer to Rukia so it looked like he was telling her a secret "Yes-" he whispered loudly so that everyone around him heard anyway "-Little Ichigo is quite big."
Rukia blinked at his grinning face in confusion, but her cheeks went flaming red when she understood, falling back in embarrassent. What the hell?! Ichigo's face was tomato red as he flung a nearby garbage disposal can at his father's running figure.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU MANIAC!"
"Wow..." Ichigo looked around at the walls of the strangely hollow apartment. The furniture was all there- the carpet, the wood for the fire, the cabinets... but something about the house felt so unbelievably dead that it made Rukia's heart clench as she looked around with him, taking in the place that now was devoid of Kuro' belongings "...You made these?" Ichigo pointed to the few paintings that Rukia had put up on the walls- the ones that Kuro hadn't 'locked-up'.
She smiled, and nodded "Yes, they're all-"
Wait a second.
Her eyes widened and she dropped the box she'd been carrying- the clothes and some stuff from the hospital.
"No.." she whispered, running over to the storeroom. Only these paintings were on the wall, so the others must be..
The storeroom was empty.
"Rukia?" Ichigo frowned as he followed her "Rukia, where are-"
"They're gone...! He- he took them! He-" she shook, her scars stinging horribly as she felt an unbelievable amount of fury coil up at the pit of her stomach "Ichigo- he took my- he knew how m-much I- "
"Okay-" Ichigo neared her cautiously, kneeling down beside her as he took her in "Okay. Just- okay, listen- calm down for a second 'cause I can't understand what the hell you're-"
"I hate him! I hate him! He took them- he's trying to- what the hell does everyone want?!" she screamed finally, grabbing a lamp and throwing it against the wall "Why can't he leave me alone?! Why did he leave those three? He should've taken them too- put me out of my misery- mocked me for one last time! I hate him!"
Ichigo caught her as she thrashed around. She didn't want to cry- no, she wanted to punch Kuro, which was a strangely comforting thought- she wanted to hit him, or to shout at him til her throat went dry, ask him what it was that he wanted, what it was that would make him happy. Was it money? Money from selling her paintings-? If so, then fine- she'd paint and paint and throw canvas after canvas at his face and tell him to never show his face again. That she owed him nothing. Nothing at all.
"Calm down, damn it!" Ichigo yelled through gritted teeth as he struggled to hold her still.
This was it. This was going to be her last outburst- the last time she ever thought about Kuro Michita. Not anymore.
Huffing, Rukia slumped and pushed herself off of him, panting. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a shaky hand and sank down on the floor, just...thinking.
They sat in silence, their breathing heavy, Ichigo studying Rukia's stiff expression. She was thinking- and by the looks of it, she was thinking hard.
She finally opened her mouth "Ichigo?"
"Hm?"
"D'you think I..." she looked up to meet his eyes "Could I spend the rest of the vacation with you guys, like your Dad suggested?"
Ichigo blinked, scratching his head "Are you sure? My Dad's an ass- he won't let you go once you enter his lair."
She laughed "I think I can handle that."
Ichigo grinned, his heart lifting "Okay, then. Grab whatever you want and prepare yourself for the worst."
She shook her head and chuckled, pulling herself off her feet. Ichigo's grin faltered as he eyed her suddenly smiling face. He hastily looked away when he felt his lips twitch. He was not going to smile. He was a tough guy- enough with the sappiness- he was not going to let this mad woman effect him so much, enough was enough..
"Come on, let's go! Your father will only get madder if we make him wait."
He was not going to smile...
"Ichigo, get up!" she said irritably as she shifted towards the door and looked down at him in impatience.
He turned his face away from her.
Okay, so if he was going to smile, at least he was not going to let her see it.
A/N: I have no idea what I'm doing with this fic... *facepalm*
I hope this chapter answered some of your questions. If there's something that left you confused, don't hesitate to ask :) And let me know if I made any mistakes this time around.
I'm so sorry, it's like I have writer's block after every time I update... I hope you liked this chapter, and I'm really sorry for making all of you wait :(
Thanks a lot for reading, it means a lot!
~SS~