If there was a trait that Hope could admire in Noel it was his determination. He had thought that the other man had forgotten about grilling him for information about the past. That was a rather dumb thought on his point. As he sat in his office, he didn't go home much anymore. He among the first to get messaged that the two time travelers had entered their time again. Which made him nervous. He knew the end was near, the time in which they would finally confront Caius for the last time. When things should be made right.

Hope didn't know if he was ready for such things to happen.

While this strange limbo that he was in wasn't the most uncomfortable. 400AF could never really be home, he wasn't sure if he had a home to return to. After the fall they had gone on with their own lives. And seemingly the others never thought of him again. At least that's how it felt now. He knew that Lighting had sought them out. He hadn't the slightest inclination about Sazh until the military had approached him about his disappearance.

And he hadn't know shit about Snow and Serah until Alyssa had been brought to his attention about having direct contact with the time travelers. All right, so maybe it was better to stop avoiding the subject. Hope wasn't sure he wanted to go back to the past. He was afraid he'd be ignored.

He was afraid he'd be alone again. He wished he could be selfish and stay in 400AF with Noel and Serah and even stupid Snow if it meant that he wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Even if he knew that wouldn't happen. He found himself wishing for it so desperately that it scared him.

He jerked back to the present as the door slid open. It had been a month since the happenings with Alyssa and he was still so scared. Only a handful of people could actually enter his office. The security was gene locked but even then he couldn't help but be afraid. Regardless of what the people remembered due to the absolving of Alyssa's paradox, one of his closest allies had tried to kill him.

And the second attempt on his life only a few days later had more then rattled him. He had no desire to be seen by people. He wanted to be left alone to do his work. Noel was standing in the doorway. When he entered, the door slid shot. As with the other times, Serah didn't come, to give them time alone. To pursue a relationship that couldn't happen.

"Hey... Aina told me you haven't been going home to sleep." The hunter commented quietly as he approached the other.

"It's... it's hard." Hope admitted as he let Noel pull him away from the desk and over to the couch. They sat quietly together as Noel studied the older man's face. The bags under his eyes and the sorrowful look in his eyes, even more pronounced then it had been in 10AF. "It's scary... being all alone."

"It's almost over." Noel murmured as he placed a hand on the other's face. Hope closed his eyes and leaned into the calloused hand. The younger man watched his face quietly, watched as Hope relaxed for probably the first time since he left. "You don't have to be alone anymore."

"In 3AF..." Hope swallowed hard and brought his hand up to cradle the larger hand against his face. He had missed being touched more then he could have ever realized. "I was taken by anti-Academy, anti-l'cie forces. They kept me for a total of two months. I was tortured durning that time. Mentally, physically... sexually."

Noel sucked in a breath. He had wanted to know, had hounded the other and now he felt guilty. He knew that it was a bad idea, but he thought that it was obvious that the other hadn't shared it, hadn't gotten over it.

"Even when you know something... it's easy to lose sight of it. It was easy to fall back into the mindset that I'd had before. To believe that even though I'd been freed of the l'cie curse that I deserved what was happening. It didn't even phase me when they sent their demands to the Academy. They wanted me publicly executed, the face of the Fall." Hope reached out to Noel and pressed himself against him. Being laid bare like this, made him long for the time that Noel had held him and he'd felt safe. Picking up on the other's wants, the hunter pulled him close and looped his free arm around him.

"The Academy refused of course. Rydgea and my father had found the Academy on the basis of freeing people of Fal'cie control. Following our own paths as humans... This enraged the terrorists. They kidnapped my father, decided to publicly execute us both. I don't really remember much. But, they never tortured my father. I can remember his face as he tried to tend my wounds, as he tried to be brave enough to realize that he couldn't protect me again."

Hope was shaking by now, Noel wanted to beg him to stop, he didn't want to know anymore. Didn't want to hear anymore. Be careful what you wish for, the elders of his village use to say. He'd never understood the sentiment so well before.

"I don't remember if they brought him in or if he fought his way in... but they were hurting me and my father was there. He tried to help me and he was hit, shot? I don't know, they were trying to get him away from me and he cried out in pain. I felt a rage then that I hadn't felt in so long. I did the impossible and summoned Alexander." Hope fingers dug into the chocolate haired man's back. "When I woke up from my fog they were all dead and my father had paged an SOS to the Academy. I didn't notice that my brand was back until my father wrapped my arm up to hide it."

"I sorry." Noel whispered as he held him tightly. "I'm so sorry."

Hope leaned into him further, his eyes closed tightly. He wasn't crying, Noel could tell and that only made the hunter wish that he would. It had never occurred to him to think about how harsh life would have been for the 6 l'cie after the Fall. The people who would blame them, the problems they would have. Even when Serah described it to him, it had sounded like people had left them alone, had been too busy moving on with their lives.

Hope had taken the brunt of their hatred could Hope do this he wondered? How could Hope still feel the urge to save people when saving them had only cost him pain. He didn't know how to ask and he was sure he didn't want to know the answer.

"Don't be sorry." Hope pulled back to look at him. "It's not all so bad, I guess. When it's all over..." When I'm crystal. "Maybe I'll dream of you? It'll be such a nice dream."