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Chapter Eleven:
"Of course, I simply tweaked Kakashi-chan's response so it was a bit more amusing for me, and let it go from there. From that point on, I cursed the objects known as 'scissors' to grace their holders with incredibly bad luck, causing them to trip repeatedly." Jashin smiled, ignoring Hidan as he shifted to try and restore blood flow to his legs, "Then, I made Sasuke appear less and less for reasons that only a god would understand." She nodded, ignoring that no one really cared, "So, I began toying with everyone to suit my own needs, even going as far as to turn some people gay. Much more entertaining on my part," She grinned shamelessly.
"Of course, no one important ended up with a change in sexuality," she continued with a dismissive wave of her hand, "I wouldn't be able to do that with at least a small mark on my conscience. I'm not perfect you know." Hidan opened his mouth to disagree, his sacrifice tied to a nearby tree as to not escape, but Jashin just started speaking again, "Anyway, after planting ridiculous ideas into people's minds, I was going to end it all today. But, Pein-teme is an idiot and ruined everything!" she huffed and crossed her arms with a pout her main feature.
"So…wh-what are you going to do?" Hinata asked timidly. Jashin grinned.
"I am going to turn back time all the way to the wave arc and make Naruto not ask the question!! All shall be right again!!" She clapped her hands together and smiled brightly, "I'll find some other way to mess everything up!"
"What about me, Jashin-sama?" Hidan asked, but before she could reply, a voice boomed over the skies.
"Jashin!!" The voice roared. This one was definitely male, and he sounded pissed. Jashin jumped.
"Shit!" she cried, leaping off of Hidan's lap, who stood and sighed in relief. Jashin laughed awkwardly as two blue eyes appeared in the sky, and she smiled awkwardly.
"Ohayo Outo-sama," she said innocently, "You woke up sooner then I expected…ha-ha." A man descended from the heavens, much like she had, except he was much more threatening.
"Jashin," the man said in a scolding manner, "Have you been messing with fate again?" She looked down and shuffled her feet.
"Maybe…" she said slowly. The man scowled.
"What have I told you about doing that?" he asked. Jashin pouted angrily, narrowed her eyes, and stomped her foot.
"You can't tell me what to do! I'm a goddess!! You named me one yourself!!" She crossed her arms and stared the man down defiantly. He raised an eyebrow, before throwing his hands up in exasperation.
"Do you know how much trouble this is causing me!?" He asked angrily, "I'm going to have to turn time backwards to where you started messing everything up and set everything back on course. Do you know how many memories are going to be erased!?" She looked down at her feet again sadly, and sniffed pathetically.
"B-But Outo-san," she whimpered, "They're so much fun to mess with! Much more fun then the wizards, or the sparkly fricking vampires!! Do you know how gay that is?!?!" Her father sighed.
"I'm sorry, Jashin, but none of them will remember anything that has happened in the past three years, AND I'm turning back time," Jashin opened her mouth to protest, but he continued, "I am also stripping you of your time-changing abilities!" Tears flowed dramatically down her face.
"Daddy!" She cried, "That's no fair!! I earned those powers fair and square when I fought my way through the ranks and earned the rank of goddess!! You can't do that to me!!" She suddenly seemed to have an idea, and before anyone could react, she screamed out, "I'M PREGNANT!!!"
Almost everyone fell over.
"WHAAAAAT!?!" Her father yelled, "How did this happen!!" She didn't even stop in her acting as she grabbed Hidan by the arm and held the appendage close.
"I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM!!" she cried. Hidan looked equally confused.
"What are you talking about?" He whispered in her ear.
"Look, you just go with it and not only do you get laid, but you'll become my personal un-holy messenger of havoc. I'm your goddess, right?" She looked at him with puppy dog eyes, "You do want that, right? To be completely acknowledged by your god??" Hidan accepted the idea easily, and nodded before facing down her father (though he admitted later to thinking he was going to be smited then and there).
"Yes!" He said trying to be as convincing as possible, "I am in love with Jashin!"
Over with the Akatsuki, Kakuzu leaned over and whispered to Kisame:
"Ten bucks says that he gets smited for impregnating a god's daughter."
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You are all very lucky. The chapter was getting really long, way to long compared to the other chapters, so I stopped it on a humorous note!!
The next chapter…what happens to Hidan? Will Jashin's father smite him as Kakuzu predicted?
Oh, and if you didn't say who I should be for AWA please do.
OH, and only FallenSilent answered my question, so they get a thing written for them!! It made me so happy, I decided to be generous.
Oh, and Hidan's legs aren't hurting cuz she's fat. It's because if you were setting on nothing (like an invisible chair) with a woman on your lap, wouldn't you be slightly uncomfortable??
B.E.N.