Disclaimer: I don't own kfp or the hangover.

Author's note: Why is kegusaran 14 the only reader reviewing these days? It disheartens me that everyone else appears to have stopped bothering to let me know if I'm doing a good job.

Keep up the reviews, kegusaran 14, and could everyone else PLEASE start reviewing again?

Thanks.

Poof!

Seconds after ingesting the antidote, baby Tong Fo disappeared in a puff of smoke. Another few seconds later, a full grown, highly displeased Tong Fo emerged to find himself locked in a small cage surrounded by the men he had attempted to double-cross. They were standing in the main hall of the abandoned temple.

"There's no point in trying to escape, Tong Fo!" Monkey said coldly. "Where's the jar?"

"What happened to me?" Tong Fo asked. He was feeling incredibly woozy.

"You fell into the jar and turned into a baby for two days." Said Fung. "After you double-crossed me and swapped my wine with sleeping death elixir!"

"Oh, so you figured it out." Tong Fo sighed. It looked like he was going to have to share the cash after all. "Oh well, it was worth a shot…"

"Where's the jar, Tong Fo?" Monkey asked again.

"Beneath a loose floorboard in the room on the left hand side." Tong Fo said.

"I'll get it." Crane marched into the room. A minute later he emerged carrying a large jar.

"Right, we've got three hours to get back to Quidan Village." Said Monkey. "Just so you don't try anything, Tong Fo, you can stay in that cage until the exchange is complete. Fung, if you behave yourself, we won't send you to jail this time. Agreed?"

Fung nodded.

"Nothing's going to go wrong this time, right?" Crane asked as they sailed down the river on a little boat. "I mean, I hope nothing unexpected is gonna happen like last time."

"Relax, it's just your usual exchange." Said Fung as he kept both hands on Tong Fo's cage. "Temutai gets the jar, we get the money and your Master Shifu."

"Don't you ever do anything that doesn't involve in a standoff?" Crane asked.

"Hey, I'm a bandit." Fung replied. "It happens a lot in my line of work."

"And I'm a master criminal." Tong Fo spoke from between the bars. "So it basically always ends like this."

Crane looked at them both for a long time.

"…Huh." He turned his attention to their path up ahead.

Soon enough, the outer walls of the Quidan Village came into view.

"Alright…" Fung took a deep breath. "Here… we… go…"

On his throne just as he had said, Temutai grinned widely as Fung, Tong Fo, and the trio were led into the village square before him.

"Now this is more like it!" he thundered.

"Hey, Temutai! How you doin'?" Fung asked, waving with one hand and keeping his other hand wrapped tightly round the handle of Tong Fo's cage. "Have you lost weight?"

"I have, thanks for asking." Temutai replied and patted his stomach. "Now back to business… where's the jar?"

Monkey lifted the Mystical Jar of Youth a few inches off the ground for Temutai to see.

"Hand it over!" Temutai ordered.

Monkey made to bring the jar over, but then Crane lifted a wing and blocked his path.

"Hang on a sec, Monkey." Crane whispered. "Remember what happened last time?"

Monkey stared at Crane, and then he remembered.

"Hey, Temutai." Crane took a step forward. "Sorry to interrupt, but I really feel that we should be able to see Shifu first, before we give you the jar, just to make sure he's alright and you haven't pulled a fast one on us. Is that alright?"

"And the money!" Fung spoke up quickly. "Let us see the money too!"

Temutai paused for thought.

"You know what?" He spoke. "It is alright. Bring them out!"

Two water buffalo soldiers stepped out from behind Temutai's throne. One was carrying a small wooden chest, opened wide to reveal what must surely be a small fortune. The other was holding a chained red panda with a bag over his head.

The trio breathed a simultaneous sigh of relief.

"There you are!" Temutai spoke. "Now hand over the jar or I'll have my men rip you apart!"

"Give him the jar!" Fung said.

Monkey lifted the jar and struggled slightly with its weight as he headed towards the throne. Very carefully, he set the jar down in front of Temutai and quickly headed back to his friends. A buffalo soldier stepped forward and began examining the jar. After a few seconds, he stood up and faced his boss.

"It's the genuine artifact." He spoke.

"Let him go!" Temutai spoke. "And give them the money!"

The two buffalo soldiers stepped forward, placing the chest full of yuan in Monkey's arms and the chained red panda on the ground in front of them.

"Thank god you're alright, Master Shifu!" Mantis was as giddy with relief as his comrades.

The buffalo leaned down and whipped off the sack covering the head of Sh-

"Shirong?"

The con artist father of Shifu stared back at them, a gag over his wizened mouth.

"Are you kidding me?" Monkey looked past Shirong to glare at Temutai. "What the hell is this?"

"That is not Master Shifu!" Crane yelled.

"What are you talking about?" Temutai stared at them. "That is him!"

"Seriously?" Crane gaped. "You've met Master Shifu before! How the hell did you manage to mistake this guy for Shifu?"

"Hey, the resemblance is striking!" Temutai shrugged.

The buffalo soldier whipped off the gag and Shirong turned his head to glower at the warrior king.

"I told you that you had kidnapped the wrong red panda, nitwit!" he said angrily.

"Let me ask you something…" Crane glowered at the enormous buffalo sitting on the stone throne. "Does Shifu look like he's over a hundred years old?"

"Uh… yeah."

"Oh come on! Shifu's over seventy and the only winkles he has are beneath his eyes! This guy's over a hundred and looks like a white prune!"

"Er, you do know I'm standing right here, right?" Shirong asked.

"Who gives a damn?" Monkey yelled at last and thrust the chest full of money into Fung's arms, making the croc bandit drop Tong Fo's cage with a crash. "Where is Shifu?"

"No longer my problem! Get out!" Temutai yelled.

Monkey cursed in mandarin all throughout their forced ejection from the village.

Once outside the front gate, Monkey angrily kicked the dirt as he paced in front of his friends. After a while, he whirled round to face Fung and the caged Tong Fo.

"Why are you two still here?" He yelled. "Shouldn't you be running off with the money, now?"

"You aren't gonna arrest me?" Fung blinked.

"Why should we?" Monkey breathed hard as he forced himself to calm down. "You behaved yourself, so just this once, we'll let you go."

"Just do us one favor." Said Crane. "Drop Tong Fo off at Lijiang Jail on your way. The last thing we need is him trying to get revenge on us for turning him into a baby."

"Yeah, will do." Said Fung, and ran off towards the forest. He stopped at the edge and turned back to face them. "By the way, thanks for the party."

Fung disappeared into the trees.

"What do we do now?" Mantis asked, running a foreleg through his Mohawk.

Slowly and despondently, Monkey pulled out the Mirror of Communication.

"Guys… it's time."

He raised the mirror to his face. After a few seconds, the image in the mirror changed in that of a female South China Tiger.

"Hello, Tigress. It's Monkey."

I can see that." Tigress hissed. "Where the hell are you guys?"

"Tigress…" Monkey took a deep breath. "It happened again."

Tigress gritted her teeth.

"Don't say that." She almost pleaded.

"No, this time we really screwed up." Monkey said mournfully.

"What the freaking hell is wrong with you three?"

"So much, Tigress. I wouldn't even know where to begin!"

"How bad, Monkey!" Tigress glared through the mirror. "No ceremony bad?"

"Er…" Monkey hesitated. "A little worse than that…"

"It's official." Crane spoke as he sipped from his green tea. "We're demons in sheep's clothing. Which is ironic because we're not sheep."

In a tea shop right next to the river, the trio mourned the loss of their master and their failure to find him. It was a feeling of guilt and sadness they had felt before when they had seemingly watched Po being blasted out of the Fireworks Factory by Shen's cannon.

"What now?" Mantis asked.

"I honestly don't know." Monkey sighed. "We've officially lost Master Shifu, and the opening ceremony begins in a few hours. I just don't know."

"I'm usually a calm man…" Shirong glared at the three of them. "But I ought to spank the lot of you for losing my son."

"I have a question for you." Crane leant forward on the table. "How did you manage to wind up as Temutai's prisoner?"

"That ginormous brute abducted me yesterday after seeing me in the city. I'm sorry you went through all that trouble for nothing. And lost a powerful artifact."

"Nah, it's alright." Crane sighed. "Even if we had known that it wasn't really Shifu, we still would've handed the jar over. Besides, I doubt that he would be very happy if we'd just left you in there."

"He's a good boy." Shirong sighed. "Do the people back in Gongmen City know what's happened?"

"Well, Po and the girls know." Monkey spoke. "But they're waiting for us to come back and tell the Master's Council ourselves."

"But we've unanimously agreed that we won't be going back." Crane said. "We won't even be going back to the Valley of Peace. It's the best thing."

"We couldn't save Master Shifu, but we can still save our friends." Said Mantis. "Make sure they don't suffer from our mistakes. If we stay away, then Shifu's daughter won't share the same fate."

Shirong blinked.

"Shifu has a daughter?"

"Yeah." Said Crane. "Didn't you know? Tigress is Shifu's adopted daughter."

Shirong stared at the three of them.

Shifu had neglected to tell him this during his visit to the Jade Palace the year before. But then again, at the time he had still been angry with his father for abandoning him at the Jade Palace as a cub, so it was justifiable.

But for Shirong to suddenly discover that he was a grandfather…

It was a long time before he spoke.

"Then don't you realize how much it would mean to her if you keep searching for Shifu?" He asked.

"Shirong, we've virtually got no leads left." Monkey said. "Now if you don't mind, I need to inform our friends back in Gongmen City of our decision."

Monkey got up, stepped away from the table and pulled out the mirror.

"Hey, Po." Monkey spoke once the image changed. "There's something we need to tell you…"

Crash!

"Ow!"

Crane turned his head, startled by the sudden noise.

A few feet from their table, one of the two pigs applying cement to a crack on the wall rubbed his rear as he got to his feet. A spilled bucket of cement lay on its side next to him.

"Are you alright?" The second pig asked in concern.

"Yeah." Said the pig that had fallen. "Darn, that was sore!"

"You should be more careful. Liquid cement is quite slippery."

Right at that very moment, something clicked in Crane's head.