-Third person pov-

Olivia thought about the choice to deny Elliot access into her home or to send him on his way. She opened the door reluctantly after they hugged. She cried in his arms, like she had done so many times before, and she said that she hated him. She knew she didn't hate him, just his certain actions. Like leaving her without a goodbye, or anything for that matter. One day she woke up and he was gone. She had no control over that.

She allowed him into her apartment filled with baby toys and pictures.

"Sorry about the mess, Noah likes to play a lot" Olivia said nervously and picked up a few toys. Elliot was struck with confusion of who 'Noah' is.

"And, uh, whose Noah?" Elliot asked. Olivia remembered Elliot missed out on everything. Lewis, Brian, cragen's soon-to-be leaving, and the best part of her life, Noah.

"Come see for yourself " she smiled excitedly and took his hand, pulling him into a blue painted room filled with more toys and it had a crib, too. Elliot slowly walked over to the crib with Olivia. Olivia gently picked up Noah.

"He's my son" Olivia said and smiled. She still teared at the thought of her having a kid, it still struck her as a surprise that she has a kid.

"Y-you had a kid?" Elliot asked. He was surprised that she had kids even though she would get upset whenever Elliot would mention Kathy having a baby over the age of 40.

"Adopted" she nodded and bit her lip to stop the tears. Not because he was adopted but because she was allowed to keep him, forever.

"Wanna hold him?" She asked and looked Elliot eye to eye. He smiled and nodded. She carefully handed Noah to Elliot. And smiled at how he looked at baby Noah.

"Liv. I can't believe this," Elliot said astonished, "I'm sorry I missed out on such a big portion of your life" he finished. Elliot tried not to cry, but couldn't contain his tears.

"It's- it's okay, El. You're here now. That's all that matters, right?" She asked.

"Of course. For better or worse, right?" He said and wiped a tear. He missed her so much, if only Kathy wouldn't have held him back he would've returned by now. Or even maybe he wouldn't have ever left.

"Right" Olivia nodded and smiled at how well Elliot grew to Noah over the course of a few minutes. He was giggling at Noah.

"Well, I better let little Benson boy rest" he smiled and set him back in the crib, giving the boy one last smile.

"Just what we need,another Benson running around" Elliot laughed as he hit Olivia with a similar line she gave him when Eli was born. Olivia smirked at the memory. That day she saved Kathy's life. She also hugged Elliot, and that was big for her; that was one of the few nights she slept soundly.

"Want a drink?" She asked. She didn't know where this was leading to but she just went with the flow.

"Of course " he smiled. Olivia kissed Noah and she flicked off the light as they exited the room.

"Elliot, " Olivia started to speak as she poured the wine into the cup, "You know your leave hurt me a lot?" She asked. She handed him the wine glass.

"Hurt me too " he said and he took a drink of wine. Olivia stared at him. Lost in his lips again. Even after 3 years she couldn't deny her love for him. It was too strong.

"Yeah.." was all she said. Elliot felt a sense of guilt for abandoning her. He had for 3 years but now it was worse because he sat in front of her having to face his consequences. He hated when he was wrong.

"Maybe I should go" Elliot stood up. He expected Olivia to object but she didnt. He walked to the door slowly and then heard her faint voice say his name.

Elliot turned around and raised an eyebrow. He tried to hid the grin that was going to spread across his face for getting her trust again.

"Stay with me" she said and he ran the words through his mind. Kathy. Eli. They were probably waiting. But this could be his only chance to make it up to Olivia. He needed her back in his life. He never slept. He could barely eat. He decided he needed to gain her frienship and trust again.

He nodded, "Okay," he said and smiled. Olivia walked over to him and pulled him into another hug.

"Elliot.." She said, but she knew now wasn't the time to be confessing her love for him so she shutherself up. She knew he was a married man and always have been. She would never interfere with a marriage.

"Liv?" He asked when she didn't continue. He was curious as to which her thoughts were.

"Follow me" she said, to improvise, and led him to her bedroom. She didn't know what to do next.

"Liv-" he said as he realized where he was taken to. He hoped she wasn't expecting a one night stand, because one, he would never do that while married, and two he would never use Olivia for just sex.

"no, look" She said -he thought she had read his mind for a second - and pointed to a picture that was placed on her night stand. It was a picture of Elliot and herself. It was the first day on the job. She remembered it clearly - the taxi cab case - it was solved like most of their cases and from the second they met on that partially clichè rainy night; they both felt a good connection.

"I have to look at it every morning. Theres one on my desk. There's a few here. I couldn't get over you. I couldn't sleep. I drank - a lot" Olivia confessed. The last confession was hard, she didn't want to be a fallen down drunk like her mother had. She didn't want any of this to happen, but when it had she turned to alcohol for a stress reliever. She was not an alcoholic- she was just looking to forget about the guy who broke her heart, and it didn't solve her problems. Here she sat with that man, in her home - in her bedroom.

"Im sorry, Olivia Benson. For abandoning you, for hurting you, for trying to forget about you. I'm so sorry with all my heart." He said truthfully. Olivia smiled and nodded. She easily forgave him, but it took a little longer to forgive herself for drinking the pain away. It hurt to think she was so weak to do that to herself, but she eventually got over the pain of washing away the memories with liquor.

"Im tired" was all she said. The thoughts gave her a headache just thinking about her drunken mother.

"Me too" he answered. He did not see through her disguise of lies. He wished he could read her mind of what she was thinking about but he couldn't. And he did not want to jump to conclusions. So he sat helpless and unable to see she was fighting a breakdown.

"Sleep then" she nodded at the open space next to her. He hesitated for a minute. In his mind he wasnt doing anything wrong. He was just laying beside one of his best friends. He decided it was okay to share a bed with her, not like they were having sex.

He then lay beside her and somehow, it felt right.

He took off his shirt and began to unbuckle his pants and slide them down his legs.

"El?" Olivia asked confused. She didn't know what to think.

"I can only sleep in my boxers, more comfortable" he laughed.

"Oh. That's okay" she smiled and turned on her side, facing the wall instead of Elliot.

Elliot wrapped his arm around her and she was more comfortable.

"Goodnight" they both said consecutively, and for the first time in three years they both slept amazingly.

Hello! Nice to see you again!

Thanks for reading. I fit like every word i could in this to make it long for you guys. So I hoped you enjoyed! Leave your opinion and recommendations in the review setion! I read them all and they make me so happy! Even negative comments are appreciated!

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