Chapter Eleven
Edward rapped sharply on his brother's door and then pushed it open without waiting for an invitation.
James turned around from the open wardrobe where he was selecting a shirt. An easy smile spread over his face.
"Brother!" he called out jovially. "And how are you?" he queried, crossing the room and clapping him loudly on the shoulder.
"I didn't expect you," said Edward tightly. "Why don't you ever let us know when we'll have the pleasure of your company?"
"Ah, Edward," said James, shaking his head and feigning a disappointed look. "Don't be that way! I thought we could have some fun, do a little hunting! Play some cards! Drink a little too much! I know the country doesn't have quite the society that London has but we could probably scare up a little party, don't you think?"
Edward looked evenly at him. "What do you want, James?"
"Can't a brother just visit without all the suspicion?"
Edward stared silently.
James suddenly dropped the smile and his eyes grew hard. "Fine. You want to get right to it? When will you ask Tanya to marry you?"
He crossed his arms across his still bare chest, his muscles contracting.
Edward said nothing.
"Edward? Come on, brother, this is going on too long," James said, reverting back to his carefully crafted lightheartedness. "If we don't move quickly, Tanya's father is going to think we're not serious about our commitment to his family and he won't advance us the money we need to keep us solvent until the silk arrives from the Orient and the factory is up and running. Aeronautical balloons are being used more and more, Edward, and with Mr. Winters connections, the government contract is guaranteed. We just need to be patient and to work with Mr. Winters."
"There is no 'we' in this," Edward shot back. "This is all yours, James. Your mess, your deal. You've just drawn me into it. Once again I fail to see why it's necessary for me to marry Tanya for this all to come off properly. She's beautiful, just your type. Marry her yourself."
"Yes, well, dear brother, she has had her eye on you for quite some time now, hasn't she? And a happy Miss Winters is a happy Father Winters, and a happy Father Winters is so much more generous. And you know I'm not anywhere ready to settle down! I've got a lot of living left to do before I commit to anyone, even someone as lovely as our dear Tanya."
James cocked his head and gave Edward a patronizing smile. "And really, Edward," he said mockingly, reaching his hand out to touch his brother's face, "you two will make such lovely children."
Edward's hand flew up blindingly fast, jerking his brother's hand from his face and holding his wrist in a vise-like grip.
The brothers stared at each other coldly.
"Don't ever touch me," Edward said icily.
Edward released his brother's wrist and breathed in deeply.
"And if I refuse?" he asked quietly.
James shook his head and sighed. "Don't force me, brother. Don't do it. I've been to my lawyer in London. You may still own all of what father left you by name, but Wrenfield Hall must be passed from father to oldest son - intact."
"Yes, in fee tail male, as it has been for the last two hundred years. I understand the terms, James," said Edward tersely.
"The important thing is there is nothing you can do about it," James continued. "That's how father explained it to me years ago, when I thought it was so unfair. But, as you know, now there is some…confusion…shall we say, about who is his oldest son."
James stared at his brother. Edward back.
"But you know me!" said James. "I'm a fair man. Do as I say and you get to keep your name, our mother's honor is preserved and you stay on at your beloved Wrenfield Hall, riding around all day, looking at your trees or fish ponds or whatever it is you do. It's fairly simple. I'm not really asking all that much in return."
Edward pressed his lips together and turned to leave.
"Edward," James called out casually as Edward approached the door. "Can I ask why the objection now? You didn't have such a problem with this before."
Edward turned back and shook his head. "Nothing has changed," he said carefully. "I just don't like being controlled."
James studied him closely. "Really?"
Edward looked back at his brother and suddenly wrinkled his brow disapprovingly.
"I hope you have the decency to keep yourself clothed when the staff is around," he said, indicating his shirtless torso, as if something had just occurred to him.
James shrugged lightly. "In my experience there haven't been too many complaints about my attire from the maids." He smiled and raised his eyebrows suggestively at Edward.
Disgusting, thought Edward, and he turned his back and left.
-xxx-
Bella could hardly concentrate during the evening meal. The blisters on her hands stung, her neck and shoulders ached, the dust from beating the carpets that had settled on her clothes and body made her feel grimy and uncomfortable. She had determined to take a real bath in the servants' downstairs bathing room and she was anxious to finish her evening chores, get on with bathing and collapse into bed.
She was hardly paying attention to the chatter around her when she heard Lord Masen mentioned. Suddenly her hearing grew focused on the conversation across from her.
"Well, I don't know, exactly," said Lizzie, who was speaking quietly to Kate, the scullery maid who was taking in all of Lizzie's information eagerly. "I know they used to be great friends when they were boys, but I hear that over the last few years Mr. James and Lord Masen have really grown apart. I understand that Mr. James is, well, quite active, socially, if you understand my meaning, and Lord Masen disapproves."
"Mr. James is so handsome," said Kate, excitedly, her bright blue eyes wide. "I saw him the last time he was here and I nearly fell over – he looked right at me and smiled, he did. I don't know what problem Lord Masen has with his brother, but I think I could easily forgive him most anything!" she giggled.
Lizzie tsked. "He is handsome, Kate, but I don't know. If Lord Masen doesn't get on with him, I'd be inclined to think the problem lies with Mr. James and not the other way 'round. Wouldn't you think, Bella?"
Bella shrugged noncommittally and put a piece of bread in her mouth to avoid more conversation on the subject.
"Didn't you bring towels to his room and draw him a bath, Bella?" asked Kate. "I thought I heard Mrs. Mallory speaking to you when I was passing the dining room earlier."
"Mm-hmm." Bella was grateful that the bread stuffed in her mouth prevented further comment.
"Did you see him?" pressed Kate. "Is he as handsome as I remember? Did he speak to you?" Kate leaned forward across the table, chin in hands.
Bella took her time chewing, swallowing slowly.
"Um, yes. He asked my name, how long I had been here. That's about it," she said.
Kate sighed dramatically. "I wish I weren't stuck down here with the dishes all day! I can't wait until Mrs. Cope decides I'm ready to serve at table. Then I'll get a good look at everyone, instead of just hearing all about everything second hand!"
Bella smiled at Kate and broke off another piece of bread, tuning out their conversation as it shifted to the planned dinner Lizzie was to have with Bobby Long's family next weekend.
He's hardly ever mentioned his brother, she thought. It never occurred to me there was bad blood there.
With that thought, Bella finished her meal and rose to finish her evening chores.
-xxx-
Bella sighed as she lowered herself into the deep tub. The hot water swirled around her luxuriously and she leaned her head back onto the edge of the tub. Staff members were allowed one hot bath a week, and luckily for Bella no one had requested this particular evening. She usually bathed on her day off but tonight the bath felt more than necessary.
Lying in the steaming water, her chin barely touching the surface, her hair swirling around her shoulders, she looked critically at her body. Her legs were slender and well shaped, her hips slim, her chest nothing to be ashamed of. An image of Lord Edward Masen danced at the edge of her thoughts…
Quickly she sat up, sloshing water out of the tub and on to the floor. Her cheeks burned in private embarrassment…and excitement.
She covered her face in her hands for a moment, then reached out of the tub to pick up the unwrapped cake of soap Alice had given her. Quickly she scrubbed her body and hair with the perfumed cake, rinsing out every last bit of dust and grime until she was red and shining. She stepped out of the tub, dried, dressed and returned to her room.
Alone in her room she changed into a clean nightdress and wrapped fresh bandages around her blisters. They would heal soon, but in the meantime, they stung and the bandages minimized the hurt.
Bella hadn't been settled in her bed for more than a minute when she heard a knock at the door.
Really? she thought, blushing as her heart thumped quietly. She quickly rose, wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and opened the door.
Bella's first thought was how unsettled Edward looked.
"Come in," she whispered, and unthinkingly reached out and pulled him into the room by his wrist.
"Oh, pardon me," said Bella, blushing again as she dropped his wrist and closed the door behind him. "I just…never mind. Please sit."
Edward looked at her and smiled slightly. She couldn't know much it thrilled him to be touched by her in such a casual manner. He wanted to take her in his arms again, like he had the night before, to wrap himself around her on her small bed and fall asleep, forgetting the whole wretched business of James' blackmail and marrying Tanya. He had never wanted anything so badly in his whole life.
He stood, uncertainly, inches from her, looking down at her. It would be so easy to reach out, put his hand on her waist, pull her close to him, to knot his fingers in her damp hair and angle her face up to his…
He drew in a breath. Bella stood, unmoving, in front of him.
Touch me…please touch me…
Suddenly Edward frowned.
"Bella, what is wrong with your hands?" he asked, a concerned look on his face, as he picked up one of her bandaged hands.
"Oh…just some blisters. They'll heal soon. It's nothing to worry about," she said dismissively.
Tenderly, he held her small wrist in one hand as he unwrapped the cloth.
Edward shook his head at the sight of her damaged hand. He slowly lowered it to her side.
"Sit down," he instructed. "I'll be right back."
He left the room and was back within minutes. Bella had situated herself on her bed, the red blanket covering her lap, her head leaning tiredly against the whitewashed wall.
He sat next to her on the bed and opened a small tin.
"It's a salve that Thomas' wife makes for me. Thomas' hands take quite a beating out there in the gardens all day and Mrs. Cope asked her to make some for me one day when she noticed my hands were chapped from fishing when it was too cold out. It's nearly miraculous."
Bella allowed him to carefully unwrap the second hand, aware every moment of his gentle touch, his sure fingers. Gently, he smoothed a dab of it on her broken skin, carefully massaging it into her palm. He took the other hand and repeated the action. He rewrapped the bandages, tucking in the loose ends securely. But when he finished his ministrations, he did not release her hands. Holding them loosely in his own, he leaned his head against the wall, mirroring Bella.
For a long minute, Bella and Edward stared at each other. Finally, Edward broke the silence.
"Bella…I…I want to say so many things to you," he whispered. "You've been such a good friend to me these last two months. Maybe the best friend I've ever had. I've never enjoyed someone's company as much as I have yours. I've looked forward to our evenings together more than anything…ever. In my whole life."
Edward felt desperate for Bella to understand him, to know just how much she meant to him. But another part of him felt cruel…if she felt anything close to what he was feeling, would it not be kinder to leave words unspoken? Would that not make the inevitable separation more bearable?
He didn't know. The line between right and wrong in this situation, in this small room that was quickly becoming his whole world, seemed blurred. He wanted Bella but he couldn't have her. He thought she wanted him too. But if he truly cared for her as much as he thought he did, shouldn't he keep his thoughts to himself? Shouldn't he make this easier for her, even as it tore him apart?
Edward closed his eyes and dropped his head forward, still holding her hands in his. Bella leaned her head closer until their foreheads touched. She squeezed her eyes shut. Whatever Edward was confessing, it was making her nervous. It sounded terrifyingly like it was leading up to a goodbye.
Slowly, she lifted her hand from his and placed it gently on the back of his neck. Her fingers curved delicately into the hollow at the base of his head and she began to stroke his hair with small movements.
A hot tear dropped from her eye onto Edward's hand. Startled, he opened his eyes and raised his hand to her face.
"No, no, no, Bella, don't," he pleaded softly. "Don't."
He cupped her face in his hand and pulled it up to face him. Another tear squeezed out of her eye and he caught it with his thumb, brushing it away.
Gently, he lay his cheek next to hers, staying still for some time. At the vague outer edges of his thoughts a warning sounded. Stop, Edward, stop before a line is crossed, stop…
But he didn't want to stop. Her nearness heightened every one of his senses, at the same time feeling more natural than he ever would have imagined. He breathed in her scent – lavender, just like her room.
Almost unconsciously he moved his lips to her cheekbone, kissing a light trail down until his mouth lay just above her lips. With the smallest movement, he took her upper lip in his. He went still, awaiting her response.
Bella reacted. With just the slightest hint of force, she pulled his head closer to her and barely parted her lips. The softness of the inside of his lips made contact with hers and her heart pounded, her head light with the sensation of his mouth against hers. For a few moments, their lips moved in gentle concert, hesitantly exploring, pulling back, then coming together with building fervor.
Edward's breath came shorter now, as he placed a hand at Bella's waist, pulling her closer to him. Bella rose slightly on her knees, winding her other hand around his neck and drawing herself further in towards his chest. Her lips moved a little faster on his and she gave a shiver when she felt the tip of his tongue reach out and hesitantly touch the smooth inside of her upper lip.
Bella gave a tiny moan and opened her mouth wider. Edward froze.
He drew in a shaky breath and shook his head.
"No…" he whispered. "I'm so sorry, Bella." He slid his hands from her waist to her shoulders, then up her arms, removing her arms from his neck, gently fighting her opposite pull.
Bella looked confused.
"It's just…I don't want to hurt you, Bella. And I'm not in a good position right now…I'm not entirely free to be making my own decisions."
Bella leaned back, away from Edward, her shoulders dropping slightly. Looking slightly stunned, she nodded, and began pulling the red blanket closer, protectively to her chest.
"No…please Bella…" he leaned forward and reclaimed her bandaged hand. He needed her to understand that he wasn't rejecting her of his own volition. "I want to…you have no idea how badly. But I can't." He raked his free hand through his wild hair, grasping a fistful.
The tortured look on his face wrenched Bella's heart. She lifted a hand to his and gently freed his tangled fingers, lowering his hand to rest in her lap.
"Can you stay with me? Just for a while?" Bella whispered. She had the impression that it was more than just their class difference that was stopping Edward, but she decided to ask more later. Tonight she just wanted to be near him. The thought of him walking out the door right now was more than she could bear.
Edward sighed and swiftly gathered her into his arms. He leaned against the wall with Bella on his chest, Elizabeth Masen's blanket cocooning them in warmth. With one hand he stroked her smooth hair, now nearly dry, the other holding her securely to him. Her hands and face rested on his broad chest as she listened to his heart's beat, calming the longer they sat.
Many thousands of words had been exchanged over the last two months, books had been read, ideas had been discussed, stories had been shared. But tonight, with so much left unsaid, Bella and Edward held onto each other, silent, into the night.
-xxx-
The morning sun filtered into Bella's room, waking her from her slumber. For a moment, she lay in a haze, yawning and rubbing her eyes. As she rolled over, preparing to step out of bed, she gave a start. Memories of the previous night came crashing back…the feel of her hands in his, his lips on her cheek and then on her lips, the lightheaded thrill when his strong hand found her waist and pulled her to him…
Suddenly, Bella broke into a huge grin. She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees, still smiling.
But as she pulled herself out of bed, further reflection on the evening's events pushed the smile from her face. What did he mean when he said he was not free? Why did he stop the kiss? Despite the giddiness she felt when thinking of the closeness they shared last evening, worry and confusion hovered over her thoughts. By the time she arrived at the servant's dining hall for breakfast, her mind was clouded with doubt.
-xxx-
"James," said Edward, nodding as his brother walked into the breakfast room.
"Good morning," said James, smiling broadly, seating himself at the table where Edward sat in front of the remnants of his morning meal. "I'm sorry I retired so early last night and our cribbage match had to be postponed. I'd be happy to reschedule for this afternoon."
"Not at all," replied Edward. His evening had turned out much better than he had anticipated after his brother, tired from the trip from London, had succumbed to sleep.
"Before I forget," said James casually, watching as a server presented him with a plate of egg, ham and potato, "we'll be having guests tonight. I'm sorry I neglected to inform you."
He flashed a grin as he delivered a large forkful of egg to his mouth.
"Who is visiting?" Edward asked carefully.
"Mm – " he held up one finger as he chewed and swallowed. "I really can't believe it keeps slipping my mind to tell you. The prototype balloon craft was finished last week from the first shipment of silk we received this summer. It's being delivered tomorrow so we can do a test flight, right here at Wrenfield Hall! Lovely news, no?"
Edward turned to ice. "Who is coming?" he asked again, quietly.
"Oh well, Thatcher and Weeks from the factory, of course, and a French aeronaut – they're much more familiar with this technology – Commodore Armstrong from the Admiralty, and Mr. Winters. Oh, and Tanya."
James cut another piece of ham and deposited it in his mouth. "Should be rather exciting," he said through his full mouth.
He continued eating, looking up after a moment and frowning at his brother.
"What? I already told Mrs. Mallory, don't worry. The house and staff will be prepared. Nothing for you to concern yourself with except keeping Tanya and her father happy. I'll take care of the rest. Relax!"
Edward was still as a statue. Suddenly he stood.
"You should have told me," he said, and walked out of the room.
-xxx-
Bella entered the kitchen hesitantly. The bottle of vinegar in the maid's supply closet was empty and more was needed to deal with a streaky mirror in one of the guest rooms. But taking in the frantic scene before her, Bella wondered if it might be better to find another solution.
After a moment she caught Mrs. Cope's eye. The poor woman raised her frazzled face and motioned for Bella to enter.
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cope. Can I just have a cup of vinegar? Then I'll be out of your hair."
Mrs. Cope sighed. "Of course, dear. Third shelf in the pantry, to the left." She raised the back of her hand to wipe the sheen from her forehead.
"I just wish Mr. James would tell us when we're expected to make a meal for important guests like Mr. Winters and the Commodore. It's just – well, it's not good for my nerves, for starts!" She gave a look that was a cross between a smile and extreme exasperation.
"Actually, dear, I'm glad you've stopped in. I was just about to send Kate to find you. Mrs. Mallory needs you to step in tonight and help serve at the welcome dinner. Emily twisted her wrist yesterday and can't carry so much as a teacup."
Bella looked alarmed. "Mrs. Cope, I don't know the first thing about serving at table. I mean, truly, I'm a terrible choice."
Mrs. Cope shook her head. "Ah, you'll be fine. Finish up your task and then come back down here. I'll give you a quick tutorial. You'll pick it up in no time."
She turned back to the circle of dough she was patting into a tart pan. Bella closed her eyes for a moment and then went in search of the vinegar.
-xxx-
Just as they had done previously when the Cullens arrived, the staff gathered at the great entrance of Wrenfield Hall to greet the carriages that rolled up the long drive. Bella stood straight and still, but she could not control the slight involuntary movement of her head when she saw Edward and James step out of the house and into the cold November afternoon.
Edward's eyes quickly flickered over to the row of servants, neatly standing at attention in their black and white attire. His eyes rested on Bella and for a moment, her eyes raised up to meet his, then dropped at the same time he looked away.
The first carriage rattled to a stop and several men stepped out. James greeted them enthusiastically and Edward cordially shook their hands. A moment later, a portly, mustachioed man heaved himself out of the second carriage, followed by a trim, gray-haired man in a uniform of the Royal Navy.
"Mr. Winters! So lovely to see you!" cried James, clasping the man's substantial hand in his own. "Welcome to Wrenfield Hall!"
"Commodore Armstrong, we're so very honored to have you here," he said respectfully to the uniformed man behind him. "I think you should expect to have a very fine time."
All eyes turned then to the carriage, from which its last passenger was exiting gracefully. A gown of fine peach-colored silk rustled appealingly as she stepped out, taking the hand of Edward Masen, who had approached the carriage and offered his assistance.
"Miss Winters," said Lord Masen in a gracious voice. "Welcome to Wrenfield Hall."
The woman with the mass of honey-colored curls piled on her head peeked up at Edward through her lashes and gave him a dazzling smile. "I've missed you, Edward," she said in a smooth voice. "I'm so thrilled to be here."
She accepted the offered arm and walked with Edward up the stairs and into the grand house, raising her head to his and whispering something in his ear as they went.
Standing in the staff line, Bella watched them go and felt the ground sway slightly beneath her.
Hello and welcome to all of the new readers! I'm so happy you've found this story and I'm curious - how did you find it? I think a lot of you came from PicTease - am I right? Let me know. I haven't decided if I want to keep posting teaser photos (but I've found some good ones, so maybe...and a HUGE THANKS to chyygirl67 for pointing me in the direction of PicTease and helping me with the whole process.)
Thanks, also, to The Oldest One who has found me some good photos for the flickr page that I will be uploading soon, not to mention the thoughtful critique. Thanks, lady!
Further on the topic of "Where Did You Find This Story," how many of you came from Letters To Twilight? And if you don't know about Letters To Twilight, you should, especially if you love Twilight but have a sense of humor about the whole thing.
Biggest thanks to my dear husband who has, unbelievably, turned into my beta of sorts - and a good one at that. Several of the good ideas in this chapter came from him and there are more to come in the upcoming chapters. Husband as beta - who knew? It's a mad, mad, mad, mad fanfic world.