I didn't say anything to anyone as our mom drove us towards the school. I was still furious that she was making us do this and I was not going to let it go anytime soon. Shelby pulled in front of the school and I groaned as I looked out the window.
"Could you pick a more cliche school?" I sassed as we got out of the car and my mom shot me a look as she led us into the school and down the hall into the office.
"Watch your mouth." She said as she walked up to the receptionist.
"Hi, how can I help you?" The lady behind the desk asked and I crossed my arms and stood next to Rachel as Shelby walked up to the desk with Beth on her hip.
"Hi, my name is Shelby Corcoran and I have an appointment to see Lisa Newline."
"Take a seat over there and she will be right with you." The receptionist said pointing to the chairs across the room and we all turned and took a seat.
It was a few minutes later an lady walked out of the office wearing a tight long black skirt and a red blouse that was slightly covered up by the black jacket she was wearing. Her dirty blonde hair was pulled into a tight bun that sat on the back of her head while her eyes were framed by the black glasses that she wore.
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting Ms. Corcoran but one of the parents called at the last minute and the conversation took a little too long. I'm head mistress Newline by the way." She said as my mom stood up and they shook hands.
"Shelby Corcoran, and it's fine." My mom said as she bounced Beth slightly.
"Would you guys like to come into my office so we can go over a few things?" She asked and my mom nodded as we followed her into her office.
Rachel and I sat in the chairs across from head mistress' desk while our mom stood behind us.
"So these must be your daughters Rachel and Kennedy." Ms. Newline said after a few minutes of silence.
"Yes they are." Our mom said as she laid her hand on my shoulder. "That is Rachel and this is Kennedy." My mom said so that the head mistress was able to tell us apart.
"I have heard great things about you. The student directors are very excited for your auditions today."
"What auditions?" I asked and my mom squeezed my shoulder, clearly knowing what she was talking about.
"We'll talk about it." Our mom said as she whispered in my ear and I clenched my jaw.
"I feel like I am missing something." Ms. Newline said and I shook my head.
"It's nothing, just a miscommunication." I said with a fake smile and she nodded slightly as she pulled out two packets of paper.
"Well here is all the paperwork outlining the arts program for this summer. There are two plays going on this summer, one is Wicked and the other is Rent. You are free to choose which one you want to audition for and the directors will let you know which parts you got next Monday when the program officially starts. So why don't I take you over to where the auditions are taking place and then I can talk to your mom about some paperwork things."
"Fine." Rachel and I both said in unison as we got up from the chairs and we followed our mom and the head mistress down the hall.
"This is the audition room for Rent and the room across the hall is for Wicked. I will leave you guys alone to discuss with your mom for a moment and then you can just meet me back at my office." She said to my mother before she turned and left and my mom shifted Beth to her other hip as she looked at me.
"So how mad are you?" She asked and I just raised my eyebrow and looked at her.
"I'm not mad." I said in a sickly sweet voice and she just rolled her eyes and ignored me as she turned to Rachel.
"Are you?" She asked and Rachel shook her head.
"No, but how am I suppose to choose? I mean it's Wicked or Rent, both are great and both plays have characters that I am perfect to play..."
"Go with whatever you want, you will nail your audition but I have to go so keep an eye on Ken for me and wait for me when you are done." She said and she pulled Rachel into a hug and kissed the top of her head and then she turned to me.
"Just go, we will talk later." I said and she shot me a look and went to say something when a protest for Beth made her sigh and shift Beth.
"You're right, we will talk later, now go." She said and Rachel took my hand and pulled me into the audition room for Wicked as she turned and waved to our mom.
"So what should I sing?" Rachel asked as she sat in the back of the room and I looked at her.
"It doesn't matter, you will nail whatever you sing." I said as I sat down next to her in a huff.
"Why can't you just get through this?" She asked and I turned to her.
"You mean why can't I just pretend to be happy so that mom thinks that what she did was okay?" I questioned and she slightly nodded. "Because I'm me." I said and she smiled.
"Well I am auditioning for Wicked so I recommend you either get used to standing in the background or audition for Rent." Rachel said as she got up and made her way to the director's table and I shook my head as I got up and walked across the hallway.
"God I hate my life." I heard the director say from where she was seated and I walked down towards her.
"Not as much as I am hating mine right now." I countered and I watched as the director turn around.
"Here to audition?" A girl around my age asked and I nodded.
"Are you the director?" I asked and she nodded.
"By some cruel twist of fate mistress Newline thought that this would be a good thing for me to meet new people..."
"She didn't like the ones you already knew?" I asked and she shook her head and laughed.
"No, I moved here during the last few weeks of my junior year, thanks to my parents getting a new job, and being as I had some directing talent she stuck me with this." She said as she gestured to the desk. "The name is Amy by the way. So what is your story?"
"How about I audition and then we talk." I said and she nodded.
"Sounds like a plan. So..."
"Kennedy, Kennedy Corcoran." I said as I walked towards the front of the room.
"So Kennedy Corcoran, what will you be singing for me?" She asked and I smiled.
"How about Out Tonight?" I asked and she smiled.
"Going for the part of Mimi?" She asked and I shrugged.
"I really don't care what part I get, this is my mom's idea." I said as she nodded and I took a deep breath and then sang the song.
"Okay, that was amazing." Amy said as soon as I finished and I smiled as I pushed my hair out of my face.
"Thanks."
"So I now know that this was your mom's idea but why are you here? I mean you didn't go here last year, and trust me I would have known if you did. What is your story?" She asked and I took a few steps towards her.
"Where to start? My mom got a new job, although her old job was perfectly fine, and she moved my sisters and I out here for our senior year. Well my senior year and this summer thing." I said and she sighed.
"Welcome to the club." She said and I laughed.
"Hey are you done?" I heard Rachel call from the door and Amy and I both looked at her.
"Sister?" She asked and I nodded.
"This is Rachel, Rachel this is Amy the director." I said and Rachel smiled and waved.
"It's nice to meet you. Kennedy we should go find mom." Rachel said and I nodded.
"One second." I said and she sighed.
"Fine, I will be waiting in the hallway." She said and I nodded as she walked out of the room.
"Twins?" Amy asked and I nodded.
"Yeah."
"So is she going to be coming here too?" She asked and I shook my head.
"No, she lives with our dads back in Ohio, she is just here for the summer. Anyway I have to go, Rachel is not known for her ability to wait." I joked and Amy cracked a smile.
"I will see you Monday?" She asked and I nodded.
"More than likely." I said as I walked out of the room and was bombarded by Rachel.
"What was that?" She asked as she pulled me to the side of the hallway and I was perplexed.
"What was what?" I asked and she sighed in annoyance.
"That, in there, the director making you smile..."
"You mean Amy?" I asked and she nodded.
"Yeah, that."
"She is nice, why? What is your problem with her?" I asked as we slowly walked down the hallway.
"I don't have a problem with her, it's just that you are making friends already? I mean that was a real smile."
"I smile just not recently and I don't know if you would call us friends..."
"Friends with who?" Our mom asked as she met us in the hall and Rachel quickly took Beth from her.
"No one." I said as I shot a look to Rachel to let her know if she said a word I would kill her.
"Rachel?" She asked and Rachel turned from me to our mom and shrugged.
"I have no idea what you are talking about." She said as our mom gave me a look but didn't press the issue any further.
"So what are the plans for the rest of today?" Rachel asked as we walked towards the exit.
"We are going to head back to the apartment and then you are going to talk to your dads and then we can talk about doing something else." Our mom said as she held the door open and Rachel groaned.
It wasn't a secret that Rachel was avoiding our dads but it wasn't until recently that our mom had made it her mission to make sure that they talked at least once a day. Let's just say that Rachel was less then thrilled by the situation. It had turned from Rachel having to call her dads once every few days to her having to take the time to Skype them at least once a day so that they could see her face. As annoying as it was for Rachel it was more annoying for me being as I was sharing a room with her.
When we got back to the apartment Rachel went into our room to go and talk to our dads while Shelby grabbed my arm and dragged me into Beth's room with her while she put her down for a nap.
"So we need to talk." She said as she quickly took Beth's shoes off and changed her so that she could lay down for her nap.
"I guess." I said as I leaned against Beth's dresser.
"Then let's go talk." She said as she grabbed my hand and turned off the light as she pulled me into her bedroom and softly shut the door behind us.
I wasn't quite sure what was going on with Kennedy. I mean I knew that she was mad about having to move but I figured that eventually this would pass and she would actually enjoy living in New York, but apparently I was wrong.
"So this attitude thing..." I started as she sat down on the edge of my bed.
"This attitude thing it totally warranted. You moved me away from my friends and everything that I know so that you can chase some wild dream of yours." She stated without raising her voice. Honestly I liked it better when she yelled then when she was like this, the yelling I could respond to but this quite anger was new and hard to deal with.
"I get that you are angry but there is nothing that can be done about it, we are here now..."
"Ya think." She said as she looked out the window.
"Drop the attitude." I said and she turned back to me.
"Or what?" She asked and I bent down in front of her and put my face inches from hers.
"Don't test me." I said and she rolled her eyes and leaned back and I sighed. "Kennedy I don't want you to be mad..."
"Really? You have a funny way of showing it." Kennedy snapped, now this was the daughter that I was used to.
"Kennedy you remember when we were at the beach and I told you that you could talk to me about whatever was bothering you?"
"And then you decided to ruin my life? Yeah I remember."
"Kennedy I still want you to talk to me..."
"Then listen!" She screamed and I tried to take her hand but she pulled it away from me.
"Kennedy..."
"Please don't." She said as she got up and ran out of the room.
"Kennedy!" I called after her but once I heard the door slam I knew that it was no use.
"Mom, what's up?" Rachel asked as she walked out of their room and I sighed.
"I was trying to talk to Kennedy..."
"I'm guessing it didn't go well being as she just locked herself in our bathroom."
"Is the door actually locked?" I asked and Rachel shrugged.
"I didn't try."
"Make sure Beth doesn't wake up." I said as I walked into their bedroom and tried the door to the bathroom only to find it locked. "Kennedy." I said as I heard sobs through the door.
"Go away." I heard her say and I backed away from the door and looked around.
I thought for a moment before I remembered the keys that the building manager had given me for all the doors in the apartment when he found out that I had two teenage daughters. I quickly walked out of the girls room and over to the kitchen cabinet where I grabbed the keys out of the drawer and then walked back into their room.
"Kennedy, open the door or I will." I said trying to give her one last chance. I waited a few minutes for a response and when I didn't get one I started to try the different keys until I finally found the one that worked.
When I pushed the door open I saw Kennedy crumpled on the floor with her razor a few few away from her and her wrist clutched to her chest as she rocked herself back and forth. I didn't say anything I just quickly walked over to where she was on the floor and pulled her into my arms.
"I'm so sorry..." Kennedy said as she placed her head on my shoulder and sobbed uncontrollably.
"It's okay, you're okay." I said running my hand through her hair, trying to calm her down.
"Mom, someone is on the phone for..." Rachel stopped mid sentence at the scene that was before her in the bathroom.
"Tell them that I will call them back. Get their name and number and then go wait in the living room." I instructed and she quickly nodded and then walked out of the room while I turned my attention to Kennedy who was still sobbing. "Let me see." I said as I pulled her away and took her wrist into my hand.
She had cut her wrist three times. There was only one that was still bleeding badly and I reached up and grabbed the towel that was hanging up and I wrapped it around her arm and applied pressure to her wrist as I pulled her back into my chest.
"Okay here is the deal, we need to get you cleaned up, and then we are going to talk and I mean really talk." I said and I felt her nod into my chest as I maneuvered us both off the floor in the bathroom.
I sat Kennedy up on the counter and then I removed the towel from her wrist and took a closer look at the damage being as the blood as gone. I put the towel back on her wrist and then carried her down the hall into my bathroom and sat her on the counter while I went under my counter and pulled out the first aide kit that I had.
I set the kit on the counter next to Kennedy and then I turned on the faucet and took the towel and wet the corner so that I could clean her arm. I saw her wince as I ran the towel over her arm and I just offered her a small smile as I continued what I was doing. When I was done cleaning it I put some anti-biotic cream on her arm and then bandaged it with some gauze and then I grabbed a wash cloth and wiped her face and then I set it down and looked at her.
"Ready to talk?" I asked and she nodded slightly and I helped her hop down from the counter and we walked out into my room and she sat on my bed leaning against my headboard.
"What happened to talking?" I asked as I sat down across from her and she shrugged.
"I was mad and I was feeling like I had lost all control of my life..."
"You should have talked to me."
"I tried, you didn't listen. I told you how much I didn't want to move, I told you I wanted to stay in Ohio and all you said was tough." She said as she pulled her knees into her chest as there was a slight knock on the door.
"Mom, can I come in?" Rachel asked from the door and I looked at Kennedy who just nodded.
"Come on." I said and she walked over to bed and she sat down next to Kennedy and wrapped her arm around her sister as Kennedy laid her head on her shoulder.
"You said you would talk to me first." Rachel said and Kennedy looked up at her.
"I know but you were busy..."
"I'm never too busy to talk to you."
"But you were talking to your dads..."
"Our dads and you don't think that I would take any excuse to get me out of talking to them?"
"Hey." I said and Rachel turned to me and smiled sweetly.
"Being truthful here." Rachel said and I shot her a look as she turned back to Kennedy.
"You mean it?" Kennedy asked and Rachel nodded.
"Anytime." She said squeezing Kennedy into her.
"But this is serious Ken, and I think that you should talk to someone..."
"Like a shrink?" She asked as she lifted her head to look at me and I nodded.
"A therapist, but yeah." I said as I was met with silence.
"I don't want to..."
"I would like you to try." I said and she locked eyes with me.
"I-I can't." She said as she lowered her head and I reached out and moved her chin so she was looking at me.
"Why not?"
"Because I was doing so well up until today..."
"Are you afraid that if you go it will be admitting that you have a problem?" I asked and she nodded.
"I thought that I had it under control." She sobbed and I pulled her from where she was sitting so that she was sitting on my lap.
"Clearly that isn't so, but listen just because you go and talk to a therapist it doesn't mean anything..."
"Yeah I mean I talked to a therapist after our mom left me." Rachel said and Kennedy and I both turned to look at her.
"Seriously?" Kennedy asked half laughing and Rachel nodded.
"It's not funny." She said and I poked Kennedy to let her know to stop.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh." Kennedy said and Rachel smiled.
"I know."
"So does that mean that you will go?" I asked and Kennedy nodded.
"Yeah." She said and I smiled.
"Good, then I will start looking for therapist tomorrow." I said and Kennedy moved so that she could get off the bed. "Hey, where are you going?" I asked as I grabbed her leg and pulled her back over to me and she flipped onto her back and looked up at me.
"I thought that we were done talking." She said and I shook my head.
"Far from it, now do you want Rachel to stay or do you want her to make herself busy?" I asked and Kennedy looked over at Rachel who was still sitting in the same position.
"I don't care either way Ken. I just want you to know that I am here for you, no matter what." Rachel said and Kennedy smiled as Rachel brushed some of Kennedy's hair out of her face.
"I know that, and thank you." Kennedy said and Rachel reached down and hugged her.
"For what?" She asked as she pulled away and Kennedy bit her bottom lip and looked up at her sister.
"Thank you for not looking at me like I was some sort of freak. I mean I know that you aren't a big blood fan but you didn't freak out when you walked in. I just wanted to thank you for that, it meant a lot to me that you didn't treat me differently." Kennedy said and Rachel just smiled.
"You would never be a freak to me, you're my sister and that is all. So what is your choice? Do you want me to be in here with you and mom while you talk or would you like me to go and do something else?" Rachel asked and Kennedy sighed.
"I think that this is something that mom and I should do by ourselves, but we can talk later right?" Kennedy asked and Rachel nodded.
"Of course, I insist upon it. I mean do you really think that I would let all of this happen and then not take the time to talk to you about it?" She joked and Kennedy let out a small laugh.
"Never." Kennedy said and Rachel ruffled her hair.
"I'm going to go." Rachel said as she got up and walked out leaving Kennedy and I alone.
"So, where do you want to start?" I asked and Kennedy turned and looked back up at me.
"I don't know." Kennedy said and I smiled.
"Truthfully, I don't know either but we need to set some rules or something." I said and she sighed.
"Like what?" She asked.
"No razor unless you are taking a shower..."
"Mom." She complained and I stroked her hair.
"That rule is for my sake more of than for yours." I said and she seemed to relax a little.
"Fine."
"I am taking off the door to your bathroom..."
"Okay that is just wrong." Kennedy said and I just continued to stroke her hair until she was done protesting.
"You have a door to your room so it is not that big of a deal and it is just for now." I said and she sighed.
"Anything else?" She asked and I shook my head.
"Not that I can think of right now, but I am sure that I will think of something."
"I'm sure you will." Kennedy said and I shot her a look.
"Not funny."
"I thought that it was." Kennedy said and I rolled my eyes.
"I'm sure you did, now lets talk about the real issues..."
I was completely bored when I left my mom's room. The puppies were sleeping which meant that all that was left to do was going on the computer or reading a book being as Shelby had not taken the time to get cable yet. I quickly grabbed my laptop and sat on the bed and then scrolled through different websites that had to do with broadway.
I stayed on my computer for a while but I had completely lost interest in what I was reading when I heard a small whimper coming from Beth's room. I pushed my computer to the side and then walked down the small hallway into Beth's room. I pushed the door open and saw Beth sitting up in her bed and I smiled as I walked in.
"Hi Beth." I said as I walked in and then closed the door behind me so that we wouldn't disturb Kennedy and our mom.
As soon as Beth saw me she stood up in her crib and then jumped a little as I walked closer. When I reached her crib I pulled her into my arms and then took her over to the changing table and changed her diaper and then changed her outfit before I carried her into my room and sat on the floor with her.
"So what do you want to do?" I asked Beth as she made her way over to the pin that the puppies were in.
"Doggie." She said as she pointed into the pin and I nodded.
"Yes those are the puppies, but they are sleeping." I said and she looked over at me.
"Sleeping?" She asked as she cocked her head to the side and I nodded.
"Yes they are sleeping. So what do you want to do?" I asked again and Beth made her way over to me and extended her arms so that I would pick her up.
"How about we go find something to play with?" I asked and she just rested her head on my shoulder. "I will take that as a yes." I said as I got up from the floor and walked into the living room where she had her toys thrown all over the floor.
As soon as she caught sight of her toys she squirmed to get down and I placed her on the floor so she could play while I took a seat on the couch. It was a few minutes later that Kennedy and Shelby joined us.
"I'm bored." I stated as Shelby took a seat next to me.
"You are?" She asked as she played with my hair and I nodded.
"Yes, there is nothing to do in this house and just outside of the door is a whole world waiting for us to explore it..."
"Well what do you want to do?" She asked and I shrugged.
"I don't know, but I want to do something." I complained and Shelby laughed.
"Alright then lets go do something. You and Kennedy go get changed into something you can wear to the park and then grab the dogs and we will go out for a while." Shelby said as she moved herself onto the floor next to Beth and I grabbed Kennedy's hand and pulled her into the other room.
Kennedy and I changed into some shorts and I put on a tank top while Kennedy grabbed one of her long sleeved shirts and then put it on so that it covered her arm. I was going to question her about it but I decided against it and then grabbed our dogs and made our way into the living room where Shelby was still playing with Beth.
"Ready?" She asked as soon as we walked into the room and we both nodded.
"Yep." I said as Shelby picked up Beth and placed her on her hip as she looked over at Kennedy and I.
"Are you sure you want to wear that shirt Ken? It's really hot out." Shelby said and I shot her a look as if she was an idiot for asking if she wanted to wear a long sleeved shirt.
"Yeah, I will be fine." She said as she fidgeted with the sleeves.
"I just have to grab Beth's shoes and then we can go." Shelby said.
"Let me." Kennedy said as she walked out of the room and Shelby turned to me.
"Smooth mom, make her self cautious about what she did." I whispered and she looked slightly confused.
"What do you mean?" She whispered back and I rolled my eyes.
"The long sleeves comment?" I returned and I watched as the comment clicked for my mom.
"I'm an idiot."
"Yeah you are." I said just before Kennedy walked back into the room.
"These are the shoes that you wanted right?" Kennedy asked and our mom nodded as she grabbed the shoes and then sat on the couch so that she could put them on Beth.
"Here is Ava." I said as I handed Kennedy her puppy and she happily took her dog from me and then walked over to the closet and grabbed the leashes.
There wasn't a lot of talking that went on while we walked and Kennedy and I had to carry our small puppies down the street so that they were not trampled. Once we got to the dog park Kennedy and I walked around with the puppies while Shelby took Beth to the park that was just a few steps away from where we were.
"Thanks." Kennedy said after a few minutes of silence and I looked at her.
"I don't understand why you keep thanking me." I said and she smiled.
"Thanks for reprimanding mom about the sleeve thing." Kennedy said as she looked down at the dogs who were happily running around.
"Well I mean it's not something that she has ever had to think about before, her heart was in the right place."
"I know, it's just that no one even knew about this until I told them and now it's like you all look at me differently. I know that you don't think I notice but I do and I try to not let it bother me but it does..."
"I didn't know..."
"No one knows that I notice the way that they look at me but I notice a lot of things. I notice the way that you try to watch what you say around me and how mom lingers just a moment longer at my door then she used to before I told her. I thought that by telling you guys that you would understand me better, I didn't think that everything would change..."
"Things haven't changed..."
"Yeah they have. Look can we talk about something else?" She asked and I nodded.
"So this Amy girl..."
"Oh wow look at that, Ava wants to go get some water." Kennedy said as she scooped Ava up into her arms and I laughed.
"Way to avoid talking about anything." I said as I lifted Maria and followed her.
"There isn't much to talk about when it comes to Amy. I just met her and all I know is that she is directing the play and that her situation is similar to ours, sort of." Kennedy said and I nodded.
"So what part do you think that you are going to get?" I asked and she laughed.
"I have no preferences for parts, what about you?" She asked and I smiled.
"What part do you think that I want? It may have the downside of having to be covered in green paint but Elphaba is the only part for me." I said with a huge smile.
"You are totally going to get the part, hands down."
Kennedy and I hung out for a while at the dog park before Shelby came over and made us leave so that we could go back to the apartment to eat and wind down for the night.
"What do you want for dinner?" She asked as soon as we got back to the apartment and Kennedy and I both shrugged as we walked into our room and put the puppies in their pin.
"I need an answer." Shelby said from the doorway with Beth still on her hip.
"Well I don't know what to tell you." Kennedy sassed and Shelby and I both turned to her. "Sorry." Kennedy quickly said as she sat down on the bed and sprawled out.
"It's fine, what do you want?" Shelby asked again and Kennedy lifted her head.
"I'm fine with anything."
"I want you to choose..."
"I don't want to..."
"Kennedy..."
"Pizza." I finally said and they both turned to me. "I want pizza, do you want pizza?" I asked Kennedy and she nodded.
"I want pizza." Kennedy said and Shelby nodded before she disappeared.
"I'm guessing that is what you are talking about?" I asked as I sat next to her and she nodded.
"Yep, and it's only going to be getting worse from here. Especially with me cutting myself again today." Kennedy said as she rolled up her sleeve and pulled off the gauze that our mom had carefully wrapped around her arm.
"Can I see?" I asked and she nodded and showed me her arm.
I could see the old scars that were faded and almost unnoticeable that were now covered by three new raised cuts that were still slightly red.
"Do they hurt?" I asked and she shrugged.
"They hurt as much as any cut would hurt." She said as she pulled her arm away.
"So why do you do it?" I asked and she let a small smile slip onto her face.
"I do it to feel in control of something, when I don't feel in control of my life I get the urge to cut and when someone pushes me over the edge I don't know what else to do. I should have resisted the urge today but you don't know what it is like, unless you cut you don't know."
"I get that, so what movie would you like to watch?" I asked and she gave me a look.
"I don't care." She said as she draped her arm over her eyes.
"Good because I was going to make you watch P.S. I Love You, whether you wanted to or not." I stated simply as she tossed a pillow at my head.
"You said you didn't want to be treated any differently." I said with a huge smile and she sat up.
"I hate that movie..."
"I don't, now move over." I said and she happily obliged, by making room for me on the bed.
I pulled my laptop onto my lap and pulled up the movie and started it as Kennedy and I snuggled on the bed and started to watch.
Kennedy was still the same person that I had met. She was the same girl and she was right, since we found out that she had cut herself we had been treating her differently. It was something that I was going to have to talk to my mom about, especially if it made Kennedy more comfortable around us.
A/n: So for the last chapter that I posted for this story I got some really nice reviews and I got one that said basically that I was ripping this story off from someone else. And I really wanted to stop writing after that, and then I got another review from someone the other day and I wrote this. So thank you () and I would like to dedicate this chapter to you because you reminded me that it doesn't matter what one person thinks because there are other great readers.
-Katie! :)