A/N: Thank you all so much for your response. It's quite overwhelming how much support you guys show. I have taken your comments and advice on board, and there is now a Rating Change, to M for 'sexual content'. Let's hope it doesn't get removed!
I would like to give a special thanks to cmc49abc for words of encouragement which put a huge smile on my face, and allowed me to write the lengthy chapter below.
I suppose I should state that I have borrowed one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite films, "10 Things I Hate About You" which, I have just thought, would that make a great Fanfic? Perhaps I will have a look over Taming of the Shrew and see whether I fancy making a go of it.. I digress. Further-more, as I like to also borrow some of my favourite lines from the show, so there is some of that in here too.
Chapter 11: Love is as untameable as it is unforgiving.
As Alex awoke on Monday morning she noticed that she had done so just minutes before her alarm. She couldn't decide whether she was happy about this. On the one hand she could avoid the obnoxious sound of the incessant alarm, but on the other, it felt as though she had been robbed of those precious last minutes of sleep. She didn't think on it too much though, because as she swiped her phone to stop the alarm from sounding, she remembered there was somebody else with her in bed this morning. With a lazy smile, she rolled over to look at the beautiful woman beside her. It had been so long since she had last slept next to Piper, and while she enjoyed the space of having a king sized bed to herself, sleeping with Piper by her side was much more comfortable. Alex knew she would have to wake Piper soon, but didn't want to disturb her while she looked so peaceful. She watched for a few minutes longer, taking in all of the lines and curves of her face; the shape of her nose, her full pink lips, those long eyelashes as they began to flutter. Deep ocean blue eyes flickered open, and found their focus on a watching Alex. Piper pulled the sheets up over her head.
"Don't watch me while I sleep, you freak!"
Alex laughed her raspy laugh, "but you look so cute," she teased.
Piper pulled the sheets down and gave her a frown, "not cute."
Turning onto her back, Alex invited Piper in with a pat of her shoulder. The blonde shifted into place, resting her head on her chest, wrapping an arm around her waist and entangling their legs. Alex brushed a lock of blonde hair from her face as it tickled her chin, and placed a soft kiss on Piper's forehead, "I've missed this," she whispered, enjoying the warming feeling of Piper's skin pressed into her own. She could feel Piper even in places where they weren't touching. She felt her heart beat a little harder.
Piper smiled. With her head on Alex's chest, she knew she was exactly where she was meant to be, even if she'd had to break a heart to get there. She could hear Alex's heart beating and thought about how lucky she was to hear it at all, how lucky she was to have found her again, and how lucky they were that Alex was even alive. She turned her head and captured Alex's lips between her own. Nothing felt better than being closed off from the rest of the world, just the two of them, even if it was only for a few minutes.
"I don't want to move," Piper complained, cuddling into Alex tightly.
"Well if you don't stop squeezing me like that, I may actually pass out.." Alex smiled as she tried to readjust herself.
Piper released her grip, "sorry," she apologised and placed soft kisses along the woman's collar bone. She ran her hand slowly across Alex's stomach, with just the tips of her fingers as she moved to the sensitive skin of her hips. Alex shuddered beneath her touch, and Piper smiled feeling satisfied that she still knew which buttons to press.
"Well, I guess we better get up," Piper announced, removing herself from Alex who frowned at the sudden loss of contact.
"How are you feeling today?" Alex asked as she sat up.
"I don't know," Piper leant over the bed and grabbed her bag from the floor, "I guess anxious? I have so much to sort out and I don't know where to begin."
Alex nodded, she remembered how that felt. Lost.
"You know you can stay here, right? You know, until you find a place of your own or whatever?" Alex would have loved for Piper to live with her, but she knew it was early days for them, and she didn't want to suffocate their relationship before it had even had a chance to grow.
"Thanks, Al," Piper continued to route through her bag, pulling out her work shirt and putting it down beside her.
"I will empty some draws and stuff for you, you can't keep living out of a bag.."
Piper located the eye-liner hidden in the seam of her bag and looked up at Alex, "I do feel like a Hobo," she admitted.
She thought about Larry and how he would be this morning. She hoped that he was alright; she knew that he was quite a sensitive man, but he was logical, he would get through this.
As though Alex had read her mind, she asked whether Piper had heard from him at all. A glance of her phone told Piper that nobody had tried contacting her.
"He'll be ok," Alex tried to comfort her, "I mean, I thought my entire world had imploded when you left me, but I came through it, and I really didn't think I would. He will be in a dark place right now, but he will come through it."
"It's just weird," Piper tried to explain how she felt, "because I feel happy here with you, I feel happier than I ever did with Larry, and I wasn't unhappy with him.. and yet, I feel I don't deserve to feel this way when he is in so much pain."
Alex nodded, she remembered how it had felt to hurt Sylvia had been when she ended things with her because she'd fallen for Piper. It was an awful conflict of feelings, and it was hard to put them into separate boxes because those emotions were more like dominoes, they fell into each other in quick succession, quicker than your mind could even follow. It was confusing to be both happy and sad at the same time, to be relieved and yet worried, to ultimately feel like the bad guy who doesn't deserve to win. Knowing that your actions cannot go unpaid, that somehow you will get your punishment; and to want punishment because you believe you deserve it.
"I'm sorry," Alex apologised. She knew she held some of the responsibility for this.
"No you're not," Piper spoke with a smile, she knew that Alex was happy that her relationship with Larry had come to an end.
"Ok, I'm not sorry about that," Alex agreed, "but I am sorry that you feel like a bitch. You're not a bitch, Pipes."
"Would you have said that in Paris?" the blonde asked with raised eyebrows.
"In Paris I thought you were a super bitch," Alex admitted, "I thought that by being angry with you, or trying to hate you, I could get over it… but here we are."
"When did you start to forgive me?" Piper asked, she hoped that one day Larry could forgive her, even he never told her.
"I'll let you know when I do," Alex joked, "you have a lot of making up to do" she said suggestively.
"I think I'm up to the challenge," Piper responded as she moved back into Alex, their lips so close that she could feel the warmth of her breath. She recognised the change in the green-blue eyes as they clouded over with desire, and she knew that if she didn't move away quickly, they would end up late for work. Very late for work.
Alex practically growled in frustration when Piper climbed out of the bed. That was the second time this morning. "I can't believe I had you in my bed all night and managed to keep my hands to myself," she told her, "you have no idea how hard it is when all I want is to feel you."
"You think I have no idea?" Piper asked. She climbed back across the bed and watched as green-blue eyes shamelessly drank in the sight of her in just her underwear. Piper grabbed Alex's wrists and pinned them down beside her head, she knew she wasn't as strong as Alex and that if she wanted to, Alex could have easily flipped her over. But instead, she remained pinned down, paralysed by the touch of lips on her neck.
Piper's voice was low and throaty, "you think I haven't wanted you every time that I've been near you?" she took an earlobe between her teeth and pulled on it before whispering into her ear, "You think I haven't had dreams of fucking you? I'm going to destroy you Alex Vause." She smirked as she moved away from her, slipped casually off the bed, grabbed a towel and walked out of the room. She didn't need to look back to know that Alex was staring after her.
Piper learned as she showered that morning that sharing a bathroom with two other women would not be easy. She would have to give up her dignity, especially when they all started work at the same time, and demands on bathroom time were high. She had been disturbed twice in the shower by Nikki, once when she had wanted to brush her teeth, and then when she complained that she needed to pee. As soon as she had walked back into the bedroom, Alex shot past, racing against Nikki for the bathroom. The pair of them battled it out and Alex won, leaving Nikki to curse at them both as she ate her cornflakes. "I hate showering right after I've ate," she complained.
"You two are so the lesbians in that joke," Nikki teased as they left the apartment, "you know.. What do lesbians bring to a second date? … A U-haul."
"You can be such an ass sometimes," Alex replied, she had briefed Nikki on the proposal/break-up the night before.
Nikki laughed and wrapped an arm around Piper, "Seriously though, what is with this chick? Does she have beer flavoured nipples, or some shit?"
Piper rolled her eyes, "I guess when people get a piece of me they just keep on coming back for more."
Alex raised her eyebrows, "oh, is that what you think?"
"That's what I know," Piper spoke confidently. She had come away from the timid young woman she had been when she had first met Alex. Alex awoke something in her then that she had re-awoken now, she couldn't put her finger on what it was, but she felt more confident about herself, about her sexuality and about her own potential.
Alex considered this for a moment, she wasn't sure about Larry, but she knew she could never get enough of Piper. It was as though she had an insatiable hunger for the woman.
Nikki watched as the two women looked at each other, "you guys haven't fucked yet, have you?" she asked, "I mean like, this time around."
Alex rolled her eyes, "none of your business, Nichols."
"Well that isn't a 'no' at all," Nikki spoke sarcastically. She raised a hand to Alex's forehead, "are you feeling ok?"
Alex pushed her away, "I'm not the one with a little black book!"
"Its pink, actually," Nikki correctly her.
"You keep a book?!" Piper asked in disbelief. She could count her sexual partners across two hands, and still had a few fingers unaccounted for.
"It's more like a volume of books," Alex exaggerated.
Nikki shook her head, "it's just a small list of names and a few comments."
"Comments?" Piper questioned with a laugh, "like what?"
"You know, notes on grooming, personal hygene, talents.."
"You keep a database of women you've slept with?" Piper could not believe anyone would do this.
"I prefer to think of it as a sort of fact file of fucks… a fuck file, if you will."
"But.. why?" Piper asked.
"For future reference," Nikki shrugged, "a guide of places to revisit and where to not make the same trip twice." She was very matter of fact. The list had started out innocently, and then she had found that she slept with people just to add their name to the book. It had been a bit of an addiction a few years ago, but that was back when she was so heavily into drugs that she needed to write everything down or else she would forget her own name.
"You're disgusting," Piper laughed, and then she had a thought… "Is Alex in this book?"
Nikki thought about this for a moment and then she chuckled and said, "Yep!"
"What?!" Alex cried in outrage, "we never fucked!"
"No, I think I've got you in there as more of a fumble."
"A fumble?" Piper asked, not sure whether she wanted to hear anymore.
Alex rolled her eyes, she couldn't believe she had made it into the book. "It was when we first met," she explained to Piper, "we were drunk as fuck and Nikki fancied her chances.."
Nikki gave another shrug, "your woman is hot," she admitted.
"Anyway, it was super awkward, so we gave up and baked a cake," Alex explained.
"We did bake a cake!" Nikki laughed at the memory, "I tried to make it look like a Vagina," she roared in laughter, "tastiest vagina I've ever ate!"
Piper couldn't help but laugh at the wild haired woman. She could say absolutely anything, no matter how outrageous, and some how it was never offensive.
"We've been best friends buds ever since," Alex knocked her shoulder into Nikki, "as if you included me in your stupid little book!"
"Everyone goes in the book."
They arrived at the store and dipped their heads under the half opened shutters. Alex headed down to the stock room to help with the Monday morning stock delivery whilst Nikki and Piper headed to the coffee shop. Alex stopped by the coffee shop a few times, in need of both a Piper fix and a caffeine fix to help her through her busy day.
The store manager had been given the go-ahead to develop the stationary and arts&crafts range. The left hand side of the store had been transformed over the weekend so that the book shelves were a little closer together, and new shelving units and display tables had been created in the front corner of the building. Alex had been organising the new stock and preparing new displays all day, and by the time 6pm came, Alex was ready to go home.
That evening, Alex curled up on the sofa with a book "borrowed" from the store, and Nikki's spent her time switching her attention between the television and her phone. Piper had offered to cook for them both as a thanks for letting her stay, and while both Alex and Nikki had insisted that she didn't need to keep thanking them, they were happy to let her cook. Although Alex made sure to remind Nikki that she was on dish washing duty following the Monopoly game. Piper couldn't help but watch Alex as she lost herself in the pages of her book, it didn't matter what Alex could be doing, she always seemed to look sexy doing it. Alex paused and looked up at Piper, she smirked knowing that she was being watched and then shifted her attention back to the book.
Once Piper had served up dinner, she placed the plates infront of the chairs at the bar. Nikki came over, sniffing the air appreciatively, and grabbed her plate before turning to walk back to the couch.
"Nuh-uh!" Piper called after her, "we're going to eat here."
Nikki turned, and gave Piper a look of disbelief. She turned to Alex, "has she always been such a Mom?!"
Alex laughed, "I'd do as she says, Nichols," she advised as she took her place opposite Piper. Nikki pulled out the stool and flopped down next to Alex, trying to turn her head to look at the television.
Piper decided this was the best she was going to get from her and turned her attention to her food.
"So how was your day?" Piper asked.
"Are we really doing this?" Nichols asked sceptically, "you know how my day was, it was exactly like yours."
"Well somebody has their panties in a twist!" Piper commented.
"Ignore Nichols, its her time of the month, she's synced up with Morello and its a fairly dry week, so to speak.."
Piper gave a nod of the head in understanding as she mouthed the word "oh".
"How about you, then?" the blonde asked Alex.
"It's better now," she answered smoothly.
"Do you want a cracker to go with that cheese?" Nikki interrupted.
"Seriously Nichols, what is wrong with you tonight?" Alex demanded, forcing her fork down onto her plate.
"It's nothing," Nichols shrugged them off, she took her plate and sat on the sofa.
"Just leave her to it," Alex shook her head, she wasn't sure what was wrong with Nikki, but she knew she needed time to cool down.
Alex and Piper made some small talk, avoiding any conversation that would relate to Nikki, or to Larry. Once their plates were clear, Piper said she was going to get a shower and asked Alex to come to the bedroom. Alex agreed and started to wash the dishes, putting aside the Monopoly bet.
Nikki made her way over and grabbed a towel, drying the dishes and putting them away.
"You going to tell me what's up?" Alex asked, breaking the silence.
"It's Lorna," Nikki threw the towel down onto the bar in frustration, "I didn't mention it before, but she has this boyfriend, Christopher." She pulled up her nose as she spoke his name.
"Morello has a boyfriend?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow, "since when?"
"Since always, I knew about him when we met but I figured she would dump him. He's a complete ass."
"Have you asked her to end it with him?" Alex asked gently.
Nikki nodded, her eyes were glossy, "yeah."
"And she won't?"
"She says she loves him."
"Shit," Alex placed the rinsed plate onto the drying rack and grabbed the towel to dry her hands.
"I don't know what to do," Nikki said.
"Do you love her?" Alex asked, she and Nikki didn't make a habit of having heart to hearts, and she wasn't sure whether she would get an honest answer.
Nikki shrugged, "it doesn't matter though, does it?"
"Come here," Alex opened her arms, and embraced her friend. She held her for a long time, ignoring the dampness on her t-shirt from fast falling tears as Nikki silently cried into her chest. This would be a moment that they would both always remember but never speak of.
A short while later, Nikki had calmed herself down and although Alex had offered for them to go out and get completely trashed the way they had when she had been upset about Piper, Nikki had uncharacteristically turned her down. "I think I need to talk to Lorna," she told Alex as she took her jacket and searched for her car keys.
"Do you think that is a good idea when your emotions are so raw?" Alex had never considered herself as a good agony aunt but she was impressed with her own advice. Of course, people never like to take other people's advice, no matter how good it is, and Nikki was no exception. She would do what she wanted to do, "I think I need to," Nikki spoke as she found her car keys.
"Good luck," Alex said as Nikki opened the door to leave. She wanted everything to work out for Nikki, she had never seen her so alive as she had been the last few weeks. Nikki was always a laugh, she always made crude jokes and was so quick witted when it came to their unrelenting banter, but recently there had been something about Nikki that Alex had never seen, she couldn't quite think of what it was, but it suited her.
"Love can be such a bitch sometimes," Alex announced as she pushed open the door to her bedroom. She stopped dead in her tracks. Piper stood on the other side of the room wearing just her underwear. Black underwear. Lacy underwear. Sexy, black, lacy lingerie. Blonde hair falling in loose waves around her shoulders as she stood by the bedside table looking at Alex with a look which fell somewhere between desire and amusement.
"Love is untameable," Piper spoke, "it is as untameable as much as it is unforgiving, it can cause even the strongest men to fall to their knees and give the weakest their strength."
Alex could hear her, but she wasn't listening to the words. Instead she found herself looking from those deep blue eyes, eyes that she could gladly drown in, down to the defined lines of her shoulders, down to where the black lace pushed those small beautiful breasts. Her eyes fell lower, following the defined line of Piper's toned stomach, and down to the black lacy underwear. A breath escaped her as she licked her bottom lip before biting it. Piper sauntered across the room in a painfully slow manner. Alex watched the rolling hips as they came towards her, Piper reached out, placing her fingers under her chin and gently tipping her head so that their eyes met. "I'm up here," she said, her voice commanding.
Alex flexed her neck in attempt to control her feverish desire. "Why do you have to be so god damn sexy," she growled, letting her eyes roam the slender body before her. Piper pulled her chin back up, "eyes," she said, her voice with a tone of warning.
Alex looked back into the blue eyes, and could see the burning desire in them. She put her hands on Piper's arms and pushed her gently but forcefully backwards, directing her to the bed where she pushed the blonde down in attempt to take control. She pulled her t-shirt up over her head and let it drop to the floor as she straddled Piper, pinning her hands down. She closed the distance between them, taking Piper's lips between her teeth and pulled gently, not looking away from her eyes. She smiled into her mouth Piper lifted her head and kissed her. They lost themselves in the dance of their tongues, each of them fighting for dominance, until at last Piper yielded, surrendering to Alex's touch. Alex broke their kiss, and placed small kisses along her jaw to her neck, taking the sensitive skin between her teeth and altering between licking and biting, down to her chest, and then back up, kissing her on the chin before crashing them into a passionate kiss. She released Pipers wrists, and felt as soft hands moved to touch her, on her back, on her stomach, her arms, and onto the back of her Neck as Piper attempted to hold her in place. Her attempt was futile. Alex moved a hand up Piper's stomach and onto her breast, gently squeezing, feeling the lacy material rub under her palms. She felt piper moan into her mouth and smiled, increasing the pressure on her breast. She roughly pulled the lacy material down, and thumbed the hardened nipple in circular motions, flicking her tongue across her bottom lip with each flick of the nipple. Pipers moan deepened.
Alex reached a hand around to her back and attempted to unclasp the bra. She hoped that she would be smooth enough to remove it without aid, but it was impossible. She felt Piper's hands under her own as the blonde released the bra, and she quickly ran her hands under the straps and guided the bra from her shoulders, and dropped it to the floor, her attention returning quickly to the rose pink nipples just inches from her mouth. She took her right nipple between her lips, as she continued to tease the left with her thumb, enjoying the soft moans escaping from Piper as the woman struggled beneath her.
"Please," Piper moaned, as she pushed against Alex's hand.
"Please what?" came the raspy voice as she taunted her.
"Please Alex..."
"What do you want Piper?" She asked and bit the nipple, not hard enough for it to be painful, but enough to cause the blonde to moan a little louder.
"Fuck me," came the words that Alex had wanted to hear, although it sounded more like a command.
Alex smirked, "fuck me?" She wanted Piper to beg for it.
"Please. Please fuck me," Piper said impatiently, grabbing Alex's hand moving down between her legs, she pressed Alex's hand into her, desperate to feel some pressure there.
"Patience," Alex said, she rubbed her thumb into damn material and felt Piper buck against her before broke the contact and removed her hand. Alex pushed one of Pipers legs so that they parted, and she moved between them, instead kissed Piper's just below her breasts, slowly descending down her stomach to where Piper wanted her touch the most.
When she reached the black lacy material, she continued placing kisses on Piper's thighs, slowly passing from one leg to the other, she placed a soft kiss on the dampened lacy material just above Piper's clit. She moved her hands and tugged on the material, and watched as Piper lifted herself and then pulled the underwear down her long toned legs and kicked them to the floor.
"You are so beautiful," Alex spoke, her eyes glazed over with lust as she looked down at the naked woman in front of her. Piper responded by grabbing Alex's wrist and pushing it back between her legs. With no further encouragement, Alex moved in, placing long slow licks along the silky folds, taking in the familiar taste of Piper, she moaned appreciatively into her, the sensation of which provoked another moan from Piper. She moved her attention to her swollen clit throbbing to be touched, and flicked her tongue across it gently before sucking it into her mouth. She felt as Piper moved a hand to the back of her head, her fingers entangling in her hair as she guided her. Alex leaned her weight into her left arm as she moved her right hand and pushed two fingers inside of her, curling them slightly as she began to move her hand in a steady motion. She found a rhythm between her fingers and her tongue and continued her attack on Piper as the blonde moaned and bucked against her, she quickened her pace, pushing harder, deeper, flicking her tongue until she felt Piper tighten around her, and heard her name being moaned loudly as she woman arched her back and then collapsed, spent on the bed. She waited a moment, catching her breath before she moved back down and gently licked, causing Piper to buck involuntarily against her tongue. Her lips curled up into a smile before she slowly removed her fingers, and brought them up to Piper's mouth. She watched as Piper tasted herself, opening her blue eyes to look at Alex. The brunette hovered above Piper for a moment before moving in and kissing her deeply.
Alex shifted herself so that she was laid beside Piper, and began to lazily twirl the locks of blonde hair between her fingers. Piper shifted her gaze so that she was looking into Alex's eyes, finding warmth and love there.
"Why do you always feel so inevitable to me?" Piper asked.
Alex looked back at her as she considered this, how the word "inevitable" was definitely the perfect way to describe them.
"I heart you," Alex spoke nervously, hoping that now was the right time to say it.
"You heart me?" Piper asked with a smile.
Alex laughed, "yeah."
"what is that? Like 'I love you' for Pussies?" Piper teased.
"Say pussy again," Alex responded trying to swallow her nerves. She moved in, cupping Piper's face in the palm of her hand as she kissed her tenderly, trying to show her that she meant those words. That it wasn't just a physical connection that they shared, but an emotional one too.
Piper looked at her, running a hand through her black hair, "I heart you too," she spoke slowly. Knowing she had never meant an "I love you" more than she did in that very moment.
Alex smiled in response and closed her eyes, feeling more at peace than she had in a very long time.