Title: Hyuga. Towards the Sun
Summary: Life is not fair, life is not easy, even less for a Hyuga. Self insertion
I don't own naruto.
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'Be careful what you wish for.'
Unknown quote
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Life became dull.
Well, the Academy was dull. I liked the time I spent with my cousin and I didn't mind the company of the other children but I had yet to learn something new. There was no challenge. The lessons with Grandmother were no better. With the morning occupied she just kept the music and dance. I can't say that I enjoyed the first. To make things worse I had so little free time that I hardly saw my brother. It was just so pointless that I snapped.
"Grandmother, why do I have to go?" I did not sound like a petulant child. "Uncle doesn't want me to graduate."
"Well, mostly because if you were hypersensitive, your uncle would have sent you anyway and that assignment of yours is a good training for your future missions." Hotaru said and smiled."Hikai, silly child, don't look like that. The time you spend there is far from useless. Even if it was, Hiashi-sama could not have refused with the new laws. No child with a clan and a blood-limit can be completely home-schooled, you have to study there at least a year. The Academy is good for you. It is healthy to have the opportunity to interact with your peers, children, and with people outside your family. You should enjoy it, I want you to be a child as long as you can. Kami knows that you will have to grow soon enough. "
So, it was the law. Idiotic I would say, if somebody wanted my opinion. What purpose could that have? Keep tabs on the clans? Control them?
In any case it was a good thing that at the beginning of the spring Iruka had already explained the basic chakra theory. In other words, the kids were supposed to know what it was. It was time to have a more practical approach. Not a day too soon. My notebook -not the spy journal but the regular one- was full of small sketches of my teacher, every page margin. It was the only way for me to pay attention in class, or to pretend that I did. Thank the gods that I was so young or maybe somebody would have thought that I had a crush on him or something. In any case, we wouldn't start with actual chakra manipulation until next year or the following one but there was no reason not to drill us in the basics. If you were to study jutsu, hand seals were the first thing to look into.
Before the first lesson Iruka took me aside. Due to my "condition" I was not expected to actually form the seals but to study them, how to recognize them and what type of jutsus were associated with each of them. And that was well and good, the problem came that afternoon, at home. The hand seals were not difficult, only a bit awkward when you forced your fingers to some unnatural positions. To that discomfort the only remedy would be practice and time. I spent a while on it until I could perform them with something resembling a slow but fluent motion.
I felt quite proud of myself and decided to go to the next level: an actual jutsu!
Maybe I should have asked for help or at least have some supervision from an adult but I didn't want to. With my awareness of chakra I felt confident enough to try one of the most basic techniques: a clone. The fact that my brother had just learned it - a perfect execution in his first try like the little prodigy he was- had nothing to do with it.
Getting the materials to begin was easy. There were several scrolls with C-ranked justus in my father´s study. With my reading habits none would find it strange if I borrowed some of them. Unrolling the parchment I was almost shaking of anticipation. Part of me was expecting Hotaru to burst into the room and yell at me for imprudence or something. She didn't so I proceeded. The instructions were not complex. I followed them to the letter but the result was not what I expected.
Nothing happened.
I frowned. Why did not work? I did not expect perfection at my first try -it would have been nice- but at least there should be some effect. I didn't get so much as a poof of smoke. I repeated the seal sequence with the same results again and again. Each time feeling more I like a fool. I accumulated my chakra as the text said but once released it kept flowing like normal. The jutsu should spend some of it but it didn't. It was as if the seals did not canalize the required amount.
I froze. Please let me be wrong!
I did the only thing I could think off.
"Grandmother!" I called like my life depended on it. In a way, it did.
I did not have to wait much.
"What is the matter, child?" Hotaru appeared at the threshold.
"I have a problem."
"Well, I hope so. It wouldn't do to be shouting like that for nothing."
"No, I mean a real problem!"
She sighed. "What kind of trouble?"
"The hand seals! They don't work! I can't make them work!" I showed her. My hands made the motions yet the flow of chakra within my body remained the same.
"What did I tell you about messing with chakra without an adult?" She said.
"I know! But it doesn't work!"
She should have realized that something was really wrong because instead of scolding me she activated her Byakugan.
"Do that again." She ordered. I did. "Oh my...!" She covered her mouth with one hand. Hotaru looked anxious. She never looked anxious!
I was a little afraid. No, I lied. I was terrified. Without seals there would be no ninjutsu, no genjutsu, no... No Byakugan!
My future as a ninja was over before it began.
It was the same problem I had when Father began to train me. Unlike Neji, due to my chakra sense, I was unable to instinctively channel the excess of energy to my limbs to improve my performance. I had to learn how to do that consciously. It had been a repetitive exercise until I had it internalized.
The seals acted on the same principles, they served to regulate the amount of chakra needed for a jutsu. They were not random movements. I won't explain the specifics but each of them caused an unconscious reaction on the chakra flow. I was so aware of my own chakra that I had to will any disruption of that flow to make it happen. Without doing that the hand seals were empty gestures. But to emulate the effect of the seals consciously was completely different from using chakra to be a little faster or more resilient. It was not just canalize a small amount where it was needed. No, it was much more difficult. I had no idea how to do that! It was impossible!
"Stop!" Hotaru commanded. "Panic won't solve anything. Take a seat and be quiet. I have to think."
I sat and watched her pacing.
"We will find a way, we just have to be creative." She said. "Do not tell anything to Hiashi-sama. Not yet."
I nodded, relived. Grandmother would make things right.
But she didn't. Not that day or the following ones and my weekly visit to the Main House was upon us. I was dreading that meeting. Hotaru told me to be quiet at least until she had found a solution but I was sure that Hiashi would know that something was amiss. He would!
What would I do if I could not be a ninja? Then the lie would be reality. A failure! I did not even want to think about it.
I wanted something to happen, a challenge, didn't I? Now I had one.
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I was late. I could not be late so I walked as fast as decorum allowed. Due to my haste I slid the door open with bit more enthusiasm than needed. I made a face and was about to apologize but no words came out.
My uncle was not alone.
Nicely done Hikai. I had just interrupted a meeting, an important one by the looks of it. Nobody had told me anything.
Three pairs of eyes bored into me. I was grateful that my hair obscured my face as I bowed. I didn't want to see Hiashi´s expression. He was not angry though. When I met his gaze he looked more amused than anything. Discreetly he pointed out the tea tray. I obeyed.
Of the two men -if I could call them that because one was but a lad- I served the elder first as he was the guest of the higher rank, then the younger one, my uncle and myself. It seemed that my interruption was not an accident. An empty seat was waiting for me between Hiashi and the door. I just hoped that they were not waiting for me or something. It would have been bad to make anybody wait but with those men it would have been disastrous.
The silence that followed didn't reassure me at all. I observed them from the corner of my eye. The two outsiders were Uchiha. Anybody would have noticed that with the fan embroidered on their back and shoulders but I did not need it to recognize the elder shinobi. The short, black hair that reached to his shoulders and those dark eyes with stern creases below them were enough. Fugaku Uchiha, Clan head and Chief of the Konoha Military Police Force, was a well known figure. I just had no idea what was I doing in an interview between the leaders of two noble clans that happened to be rivals.
"A good brew" The Uchiha broke the quiet.
"The best." Hiashi said.
Fugaku looked at me.
"Your daughter?" He asked. There was speculation in his tone that I didn't like."She is in the Academy, isn't she? The same class as Sasuke, my youngest." He made a gesture towards the younger Uchiha. " Itachi here is already a chunin though."
My uncle smiled openly. It was calculated, his true smile was not a smile at all.
"Fugaku-dono, Itachi-kun, allow me to introduce Hikai Hyuga, my niece."
As I bowed and muttered the proper greetings I could not help but to notice how quickly the man lost interest on me. As soon as he heard my name he ignored me and glared at my uncle. He seemed insulted for some reason but said nothing as he sipped his tea. I could have been a fly on the wall and it would have made no difference.
Maybe that was the reason why I was surprised to feel the weight of another´s eyes. I found the Heir studying me and I did the same with him. Until that moment, I would have described him as a boy, not much different from any other Uchiha, the same dark eyes and dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. Those onyx eyes told a different story. They were unnerving, not just because of the acute intelligence behind them. He was only six years older than me yet his gaze was too old for such a young face. I should know, similar eyes stared at me each time I looked into the mirror. He was a boy no more than I was a little girl, but for different reasons.
I caught myself thinking that if the result of being a perfect genius was before me I didn't want my brother to be one.
"... The situation is troubling." I did not pick the first part of what Fugaku said but the somber voice caught my attention. The matter was serious.
"Believe me, I am well aware of that. The Uchiha are not the only clan affected."
"All the more the reason to do something about it."
"Do something? Such measures speak of fear, to take any direct action could end making things worse. It would not bode well for anybody." My uncle said.
"So that is the view of the Hyuga? To wait and wish it to go away? It wont. Despite the years since the attack, half of the village still thinks that my clan was responsible. I subjected my family and myself to every requirement the Village considered necessary as proof of good will but no more. I wont stand aside watching how our freedom decreases year after year. Each new law proposed by the small council is an insult. To decrease the fear of the population they say but it only adds fuel to it. We are loyal shinobi but they treat us like traitors. The Uchiha are the focus now but how long until the people turns to look at yours? Or the Aburame? Or any clan for that matter. The beginning of the Mist's Blood Wars was not so different."
The tension in the room was so thick one could almost cut it with a knife. To mention that...
"I am listening." Hiashi said. "What do you propose?"
"I thought that it was clear: an alliance. It is time to make our move"
"Fugaku, do you realize how that sounds?"
"Calm down, Hyuga, I am not talking about a coup. Your clan has many connections and with them we could successfully oppose Councilman Danzo and his supporters in the next assembly. This situation has to be contained, for the greater good."
"With that I agree. If the time comes you will have my support on the council."
"Should we formalize it?" The man´s glance wandered from my uncle´s towards his son and then to me.
Hiashi shook his head. "I believe that should be discussed at a latter date. I would like to have some time to ponder."
"I don't see why, but I suppose that it was expected from the cautious Hiashi Hyuga." He was able to make that sound like an insult without changing the tone of his voice, quite a feat. "I will see you at the Hokage tower."
"Off course. Allow me to walk you to the door." Uncle offered as they stood up.
"No need. I know the way. Itachi, come!" We were left alone in the study.
Well this was my weirdest meeting with Hiashi-sama so far. Did I want to know what was all about? Provably not.
"What do you think?" His voice pulled me out of my stupor. I blinked, he was talking to me? He must, the room was empty. "What did you observe?"
"Uchiha-sama wanted your support at the next council meeting, sir?"
"Oh! He wanted more than that." He commented and kept staring at me.
"Is it because the law of residence?" Everybody was talking about it. The next week there would be a vote. If it passed no clan member would be allowed to live in any area of Konoha outside the clan grounds. The idea was not popular among my family.
"That is only part of it. The Uchiha specially are in a delicate situation right now. As a founding clan they command a great influence but they are isolated. Fugaku knows and wants to remedy that."
"Uncle, why was the Heir here?" Why was I here and why did Fugaku think that I was Hinata?
"They want a solid alliance." Hiashi said. "He was here to make me see what they have to offer. That, and Fugaku wanted to flaunt his sons before me."
"Will you...?" It was no my place to ask but I was curious and Hiashi seemed to be in a sharing mood.
"Accept? Perhaps, if it benefits the clan. The Uchiha may need it, I have more options." So, he would allow Fugaku to court him. I smiled, the man would need to use a bit more of tact if he didn't want to insult my uncle each time he spoke.
"He seemed to be a proud man."
"He is, but don't let his arrogance fool you. Underneath Fugaku is an intelligent man and excellent ninja. So is his son."
"I never met anybody like him." I said thinking about the boy that was not a boy.
"There are few. You should keep an eye on him. He will make a formidable ally or even a greater foe." He made a pause, lost in thought."Not a bad match." He muttered. What? "You should go, my daughter is expecting you."
I did just that, my chakra problem completely forgotten.
Hinata was waiting for me in the gardens, we were alone but for her shadow. Now that the difficult pregnancy was near to the end the Lady was confined to bed rest. Her absence made harder the task of bringing a smile on my little cousin´s face. I felt a bit guilty for my relief that we didn't go to see her that day. I didn't like to see somebody tied to a bed. It brought back bad memories.
At home things were not so good for me either. As usual there was utter silence at dinner. I didn't know why but my brother kept ignoring me. The first weeks I thought that it was nothing, it had to be though. Neji stopped talking to me or anybody, except to answer direct questions. I was worried and I missed my brother.
"About your little problem, I have an idea." Hotaru said out of the blue. "Once we finish here we will try it."
That cheered me up a little.
"You are going to awake your Byakugan, but without relying on the hand seals we will have to play by ear. Maybe some insight from that brother of yours would be helpful." She sent Neji a withering look. My brother was leaning on the wall observing us. He scoffed but said nothing."Try to channel chakra to your eyes. I will be watching."
It would be trial and error. A normal child would concentrate on the Hara, and let the exact amount of chakra required to perform the technique be manipulated through the hand seals. I was trying to do the same on my own with only my Grandmother´s instructions as guide.
I had to pull the energy from my chakra pool to the brain, the visual cortex to be precise, and then, slowly, prolong a pair of strands to the eyes, covering the retina. It was a painful process. Not because it was painfully slow and difficult to control -that it was- but because each time I used more chakra than necessary it hurt. I tried again and again, beginning with little chakra and then increasing the amount little by little. I went to bed with a full-fledged migraine. It was worth it.
Describing the Byakugan to an outsider was the same as trying to explain the colors to a person who was born blind. There was no common ground to draw comparison. The first moments were disorienting. I felt a bit nauseous. It was too much information at once. To say that I could see everything around me would be a poor explanation for that experience. It was as if the normal world with its 3 dimensions just had five more added. It was amazing. There were no words. It was humbling and empowering at the same time.
Now I could put the childhood nightmares to rest. I would never again be afraid of the dark.
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I have to thank my beta for working so hard.