When Your Knees Buckle
Chapter 11: Scars Remind Us
"This is ridiculous..." I let my eyes fall shut for a moment of clarity. "Keely, the least you could for me is tell the truth. Am I being so completely unreasonable to ask for that?"
She scoots closer to me on the bed, soft tears beginning to douse her eyelashes as she blinks. She rests her hand on my knee and likely feels it tremble. I try desperately to make eye contact with her, but her gaze is fixed out the window. "You don't remember this house. You don't remember me or Mike... I guess that's fair," she says. After a long and irritated pause, she continues. "You know, my mother's dead, Phil." The tears now became visible, strolling down her face.
"I'm so sorry... Do you- I mean... What happened?" Keely's posture makes her look brave. Besides the tears, you could barely tell she was upset.
"Her doctor said it was a heart attack." Her tone revealed the doubt she felt towards that statement. "She didn't die from a heart attack, Phil."
"Why would you think that?"
The hesitation made me nervous and I began to question the relativity of this story.
"I don't think that," she waits. Her hand drifts from my knee cap to the mattress and she looks down, seemingly in shame. "Her and Mike had been fighting that night... They'd been fighting every night since Mike was fired. I was just a little girl and didn't know any better. He'd slap her around almost everyday and I pretended not to notice while she cried in the bathroom. I mean, it was like a routine for them."
"Did you tell on him? Teachers? Friends?"
"I was never around to see it... Until that night he hadn't laid a hand on her in front of me. But when he did, my mom was furious. She was gonna poison him, end it for us. But, I guess... I guess he found out. He switched their drinks while my mom went to the kitchen. She had no idea."
Within seconds she was hunched over, crying hysterically into her lap. My heart broke at that moment, realizing I couldn't sit up to be there for her. Keely was like the new kitten I'd gotten as a child. His name was Rudolph and I loved him unconditionally. Our life together was perfect, until he peed on the carpet. I watched my mother scold him and cried until it was over. The brand new stain in the carpet wouldn't go away, but I still loved Rudolph despite his error. I wanted to hold him and squeeze him until he cried out for freedom. I wanted Rudolph to realize that he didn't know any better, just as Keely didn't when she was young.
"Keely, your mother's death was not your fault," I explain.
She doesn't look at me, keeping her gaze on the floor. "... I watched him do it. He didn't see me, but I saw him, and I didn't say a word to my mom."
"Keely," I begin, but she cuts me off.
"Do you know how horrible my life became after that day?! For thirteen years, I sat in a corner covering my ears while Mike beat the shit out of my mom... And the one moment I could've taken advantage of, the moment that would have made all of my problems disappear... I did nothing and I've been paying for it ever since."
She stood up and rolled her long sleeves to her elbows. Among the plethora of bruises were a few very faint and almost unnoticeable scars along her forearms. She lightly ran her fingers over each of them, line by line.
"The next four of five years after that, Mike blamed me for her death. He said I should've stopped him. I should stop being so weak like my mother was. I should go live somewhere that I'm wanted... I couldn't take it. He asked me to look in the other bathroom for a razor, his had gone dull. I went downstairs and got it, tripped on the rug and cut myself. It hurt more than anything I'd ever felt, but the pain took my mind off of everything else that was going on, even for that short moment."
At first glance, Keely looks average. She looks like one of those girls you'd find working at a coffee shop. You walk pass that cafe every single day, or seldom. It didn't matter. And then one day, you'd be walking by and see her stumble and drop a tray full of coffee mugs. Now, other days, she seemed so pleasant and fun to be around. You notice her chatting up the customers, smiling brightly, but never did you enter that cafe until you noticed the flaw. Now there's coffee and glass everywhere, while a frantic Keely attempts to clean the mess she's made. You walk in and offer to help her, picking up pieces of glass and disposing of them in the dustpan she'd retrieved. And just as if it were a scene from a movie, you'd look up at her and notice all of the delicate details that you hadn't seen walking by. Like the nude colored eye shadow she had on, or the choice of chapstick instead of lip gloss. Her undecipherable eye color in the changing light, the engraved silver bracelet she had on that read 'Mandy', the different shades of brown and blonde in her hair, and best of all, the mole that sits just above her lips.
When faced with something that seemingly perfect, you can only see what you want to see, so as not to ruin the image. You wouldn't see the scars I have just seen, because you would think to ask why she always wore long sleeves, even on a sweltering summer day. Hell, I spent the night with her, seeing and feeling her in ways and places that most men couldn't imagine. I didn't see a single imperfection or even a trace of one, anywhere on her body.
I continued to sulk in my shock as she revealed more of herself. Lifting her pant legs, revealing more scars that went all the way up to her knees and probably further.
I shut my eyes tight, trying to hold back tears that wanted out.
"See, Phil? This is why you don't need to know the truth. If I tell you, my life will get worse and, once again, I'll be the one to blame."
All I want to do is help her. And if this sense of ignorance is all I need to do so, then so be it.
I open my eyes and call her name. "When Mike comes back, he's going to tell me eventually..." she winces at the thought but I continue. "Let me out, Keels. I'll never have to hear a word from you or Mike about anything. I promise..."
She looks bewildered and uneasy, like that was the worst idea she'd ever heard. After thinking on it for a minute she realizes I'm right, but doesn't say a word.
"We can win this one, Keely. You know I'm right." I say, searching her eyes for confirmation.
She nods sheepishly and I can almost see a trace of a smile on her face. Standing abruptly, she leaves the room and tells me she'll be right back. Her footsteps are heavy down the hallway and she returns within a minute, keys in hand.
A huge smile plasters itself on my face. "Unlock me, Rose!" I joke, reminiscing the moment she told me Titanic was her favorite movie. She smiles and works the keys as fast as she can. The last lock is on my right foot, she fumbles the keys a few times but finally, I'm free. I practically lunge at her, pulling her into the tightest hug I'd ever given. She moans quietly and I sense the joy in her voice as she then says, "I love you, Phil."
I let her free. I want to say it back but I almost don't believe her. I can't believe that any girl, much less Keely, could feel this way about me. "Me?" I ask, stupidly.
She smiles widely and kisses me as a sort of confirmation. Noticing I'm still in shock, she grabs my hand and pulls me into the hallway. "We should go before,"
"Yeah... Yeah, let's get out of here."
She leads me down the staircase and into another dark corridor in the back of the house, which led to another staircase going to the basement.
I waited at the bottom of the stairs as she embraced the darkness, searching for the light switch. Moments later, the single hanging bulb flickered on and revealed only Keely and I in the basement. She looked confused, spinning in circles and scanning the room.
"They're gone," she says. "Lloyd and Pim and your mom were all down here, chained to these pipes." She points to the pipes running along the walls of the basement.
Just as I'm about to ask what's going on, I hear heavy footsteps above us followed by a series of loud bangs. Keely and I exchange thoughtful glances.
It's Mike.
"What's plan B?" I ask, curiously.
She scoffs at me and whispers, "I never had a plan A!"
My mind immediately contemplates the wrath of Mike. What would he do to me if he finds us? What would he do to Keely? Couldn't be any worse than the flood of bruises he left on her earlier. Just the mere thought of them infuriates me.
"Follow me," she murmurs.
We go to a nearby metal door where she ushers me inside and locks the door behind her. She removes her shoelaces to create a makeshift lock on the inside of the door, tying the door handle to a nearby wooden shelf.
The shelf takes up almost the entire closet, limiting the space we both have to move. She shushes me and within seconds, Mike is downstairs, terrorizing the basement in rage.
"I know you two lovebirds are down here! Don't make me come and find you..." Mike closes in on our location and I'm almost sure he'll find us. "Ya' know, Phillip, Lloyd always used to tell me 'Don't trust anyone at WizrdTech. They'll screw you over in a microsecond.' Boy was he tellin' the truth."
Mike was just inches away from the door now. I had the feeling he knew we were in here, but he'd prefer to patronize us until we let ourselves out.
He continues, "As I was saying back in the room, before I left... Lloyd and I used to work together, and he used to tell me I was sure to get promoted. All I had to do was a little butt-kissin'. You know what Lloyd didn't tell me? He sure as shit was doin' enough 'butt-kissin' for the both of us," he said, slamming his hand on the wall.
"He got promoted and I got fired. He didn't even say goodbye to me... Got me thinking, maybe he knows my secret."
Next to me in the closet, Keely laid her head against the door and sighed. She wrapped her hand in mine and squeezed.
Meanwhile, Mike was also resting a part of himself on the outside of the door. His voice grew quiet. "Keely... You have exactly five seconds to open this goddamn door... Or so help me, I'll reveal everyone of your dirty little secrets."
"Five..."
He began and she started to unlace her makeshift lock. I reached for her hand, trying to stop her, but she pulled away, telling me to give it up.
"Four..."
I pleaded with her not to open that door. "We can wait it out," I tried to tell her.
"Three..."
She struggled undoing the lace around the wooden shelf, as it was tangled on a rusty nail. She became frantic, trying to open the door. Pulling and tugging as hard as she could.
"Two..."
I attempted to pull her away and come her nerves, but she kicked and screamed for me to let her go. "I've almost got it!" She pleads.
"One..."
I've been trying to figure out what secret could be so terrible and damaging, enough to "ruin" her life even more. I can't connect the dots myself. Not without all of the details, which I also don't know. Maybe I was wrong to hold her back. Like, by keeping her from getting was similar to me reading her diary. Whatever Mike was about to say was evidently a secret too crucial and risky for my ears to hear. But my selfish needs didn't seem to care. I held her from the door until he opened his mouth again.
"That's how you wanna play it? Okay..." He took a deep breath in. "Keely, do you remember me telling you about the woman I dated before your mother?"
Keely lets out a sob and I rub her back calmly. She looks up at me, anger all across her face, and shoves me into the shelf. "You promised!" She screams at me before dropping to the floor.
"You might know her, too, Phillip... Her name..." He pauses.
Keely rests her head on the door. "Please, Mike..."
Mike lets out a maniacal laugh, and at this point I realize it doesn't matter whether we open the door or not. He'll tell me sooner or later, if he doesn't kill me first.
"Her name! Was Barb Diffy..."
Well there you have it. I took much too long writing this chapter, as you may have noticed. Actually it only took a day (can you tell?) but I was extremely unmotivated for much too long. Nevertheless, this chapter was a lot of fun to write. As I writing for Mike, I kept getting this blindingly obvious picture in my head. I kept imaging Mike as Matthew McConaughey. I believe he'd make an excellent Mike.
Be expecting one more chapter. I think that'll take care of it.
Anyhow, please take a minute or so to review this chapter if you see fit. I really appreciate the feedback.