I made it home at around five in the morning to find Sarah and Chloe lying in our bed as I expected they would be, Chloe was holding onto one of my shirts like her life depended on it. I crept into the nursery to look at my little girl sleeping, Aeryn however was not asleep – she was lying there holding onto her raggedy Ann doll looking at me with eyes so like her Mother's. Looking at her, I smiled – all the tiredness I had been feeling leaving me as I looked at her beautiful, perfectly innocent face.

"Dada… dada… dada"

That was all I needed to hear from my little angel and she was up into my arms, the pink blanket she slept with wrapped around her tiny body as I carried her back downstairs. Settling her into her high chair I went to make us both breakfast – toast and coffee for me and baby porridge for Aeryn who was banging cups on the table part of her chair, the noise getting increasingly louder.

"Sssh my sweet baby girl, you are going to wake your Mama and Auntie Sarah, and Mama needs her sleep – it is very hard work looking after you and I sweetheart. Come on baby girl please be good for your Daddy. We are going to see your brother or sister again today and Daddy cannot wait to see them, it's exciting for Mama and I, yes it is Princess but you're still my number one girl I promise. Just don't tell your Mama I said that, she thinks she's number one in my heart."

I sat in the quiet kitchen feeding Aeryn her breakfast and drinking the much needed coffee – my mind wandering to the fears I had had about my job. I knew in my heart of hearts that I would not or could not walk away, what I did meant something to me – I had worked too hard to get back to where I was within Section D to walk away from it all. Chloe would never want me to do that either, she had said several times how proud she was of me and that I was her own personal hero who quietly worked to keep the country I loved safe. It was perfectly natural for me to feel like this with baby Bean due to arrive in four months' time; I had said the same things and felt the same way when Chloe had been pregnant with Aeryn and at other times in our life together right back to the early days when all I wanted was to give Chloe a normal life.

I heard noise from upstairs and looked at the time, 6.30am Chloe was getting up and no doubt making her way to the nursery to get Aeryn who had demolished her breakfast and was now enjoying some quality time playing with her new jungle play gym, I pitied the giraffe she was currently eating – she was teething again and any and everything found its way into her mouth to ease the discomfort. I moved to the stairs and saw my beautiful fiancée walk towards the nursery, the soft cotton pyjamas she was wearing accentuating her growing baby bump. Watching her, I found my heart swell, this woman was everything to me and I was in awe of her natural beauty I called out for her, trying not to make her startled.

"Gorgeous, Aeryn is down here with me if you're looking for her – she was awake when I came home. It's still early if you want to sleep some more."

Her face changed from startled, to pleasure at seeing me as I spoke she made her way carefully down the stairs towards me stopping a few steps from the bottom so that we were the same height for once, her blue eyes still full of tiredness but also full of joy. Chloe truly was a sight to behold even when she had just woken, her dark hair falling around her face, her cheeks flushed – I was a man in love and was loved completely in return. She made her way back up to our room, the much needed sleep I hoped, claiming her once more as she was suffering terribly with insomnia throughout the pregnancy.

I returned to Aeryn and gathered her up into my arms to take her for her bath I had run, another precious moment with my little girl that I treasured. My little one loved her bath time with her little ducks and toy boats; she was thoroughly washed and dried. I dressed her in yet another new outfit Chloe had bought her, white dungarees with little ducks on them and matching shirt. Her tiny feet encased in new boots designed to look like ducks; my daughter looked adorable – now it was time to raise her mother and aunt from their sleep, something I dearly wished I didn't have to do. Placing Aeryn in the travel cot with '' on I ventured into our bedroom to find my wonderful girl fast asleep, her arm wrapped around her bump protecting it even in her sleep.

"Chloe… sweetheart time to wake up, we have got to get moving to the hospital – if you want to see baby Bean you need to open those beautiful eyes for me."

She stirred, and I gave her a gentle kiss before returning to Aeryn, I could hear Sarah and her talking about the day ahead. Chloe's excitement was clear in her voice, matching my own, they came down the stairs laughing and joking about various things – I couldn't wait to get going.

Sarah left us and we drove to the hospital, Aeryn happily sitting in her car seat babbling away to her toys the goblin safely held in her little hands. Making our way into the maternity department, we waited to see Jenny – I was so thankful that this time we had managed to get to see the same midwife for every appointment. Chloe was feeling so much more relaxed, though hearing her get upset about her size nearly tore me in two, my girl was beautiful and I adored her at the best of times but seeing her like this, she looked incredible.

We sat there waiting for Jenny to appear, Aeryn sitting happily on my knee drinking her milk and then, there she was. The time had come to see our baby Bean once again, though we had both decided not to find out if we were having a boy or girl – trusting our instincts once again. It was funny, when Chloe was carrying Aeryn she'd insisted from the third month that we were going to have a girl and I didn't doubt her. This time I trusted the dream I had had after the attack, this time I just knew we were having a little boy; the image had been true strong.

Making our way into the small room covered in pictures of cartoon characters and forms about the best way to nurture your child my eyes were drawn once again to the ultrasound machine, the incredible piece of equipment that was going to let me see my child, let us both see the child we had created together.

Watching Chloe lie back on the bed I listened to Jenny explain to us about what we were going to be seeing, what she was going to do. It didn't matter to me that we had been here before I could see this a million times and would be in awe every time, seeing our baby moving on the screen was amazing. She lifted her shirt slowly, the smooth beautiful skin on her stomach making my breath catches in my throat, I smiled reassuringly at her, thinking back to how we had curled up together the morning before, listening to baby Beans strong heartbeat on the machine we had bought.

Jenny covered Chloe in the gel and placed the Doppler onto her, moving it slowly backwards and forwards as I watched the screen intently and there suddenly was the face of my little baby. Baby Bean's perfect face looking at me, she moved the Doppler further across and altered the view on the screen and we were looking at our little baby – from my eyes everything looked perfect, a little hand was moving backward and forwards almost as if waving to us both. I think my heart stopped at the sight as the smile crossed both our faces, our baby was there, was perfect, it's little body moving slowly.

Jenny turned to us both after about ten minutes smiling, confirming my feeling that everything was going well. We were going to have our family together very soon…

"Would you like to hear the heartbeat, it's showing up as coming nice and strong?"

Stupid question, we both nodded and there it was, a little sound coming into the room baby Beans heartbeat sounding like a steam train so strong I was so happy I moved to hold Chloe's hand as the tears of happiness poured down my face. I kissed her soft lips, stroking her beautiful face as Aeryn struggled to get to her Mama. I was so proud of my gorgeous girl for giving me my family, for giving me my life back.

We left there with eight scan photographs of our precious little baby and with my arm wrapped around Chloe I looked forward to my future. I kissed her on the top of head, searching down to her mouth kissing her once more before whispering words of love and thanks for all she had done for me.