Disclaimer: see chapter one
Author's Note: First things first, I owe a huge, huge thank you to simplyn2deep for catching my many errors in the previous chapter. I appreciate it, I really do. I'm also so unbelievably sorry for the delay with this chapter. I have no excuses except that moving and starting school completely take over your life and honestly this chapter was not easy to write in the least. I hope that you guys don't completely hate me for taking so long, but I did make it a long one in a way of making up for my lack of updating lately. Like always mistakes are mine and I apologize in advance.
Sorry for the alerts earlier with no real chapter but hopefully this one works.
"So you've been back from Korea for almost three weeks now, how's the transition been?" Steve turned from glances out the window to look Peter in the eye. Steve had started seeing Peter back during the custody battle because it seemed to make Gracie excited to see her counselor Victoria. During that period of time he made sure to see Peter every week so he could properly vent his frustrations and anger about Rachel and it had helped. It had helped Steve clear his head and gain a better perspective about the whole situation.
So it only made sense that after the hell he went through in Korea, he and Danny had both agreed that it was time to go back to the respective therapists and work through the issues. Peter had long since gotten used to Steve's silence during their sessions and just learned on how to bring him out of his shell. "Any nightmares, frequent or otherwise?"
"They didn't start until the first night I spent alone in the hospital. If I'm with Danny then I know I'm safe and it doesn't bother me."
"Tell me what happens when you're alone?"
"I think I'm back in that room hanging there. Sometimes I'm alone, sometimes I see Jenna and others Wo Fat is there terrorizing me. He says things like he's going to kill Danny because of our relationship and then take Grace and Nathan and make them suffer to while I watch, just like when my father died. I started screaming at him that he'll never get Danny, and at that point Danny is usually there to wake me up or I wake myself up."
"When you have a nightmare does it bother you afterwards?"
"Sometimes yeah, does that mean something?" Peter was quiet for a moment as he thought about his answer.
"Yes and no. I think it means that you are worried that something is going to happen to Danny and the kids and you try not to dwell on those thoughts too much because they put you in a weird place, but nightmares that strong would probably affect you for some time after. Plus with your history it would be understandable that you'd feel this intense urge to protect your family. Have you talked to Danny about this?"
"The nightmares? He knows I have them obviously, but not about the fear I have that Wo Fat is going to come after him."
"I suggest that you stop keeping this from Danny. He's got enough going on what with Lori always hitting on you in front of him despite your attempts at telling her that you were happily married to Danny. From what you're telling me about what's been going on, it's only a matter of time before Danny finally hits that breaking point and you keep things form him would probably make it worse. So my suggestion for you is to just talk to Danny and just tell him what you fear, that's it. You don't need to bare your soul to the man anymore than you have, just make him aware of it so that if you reach a breaking point or something does happen then he won't be blindsided, the key to a healthy relationship Steve is honesty." Steve nodded and glanced back out the window letting Peter's suggestion sink in. He knew that Danny was going to break and he had been trying to make sure that moment didn't happen, but Lori just didn't seem to get it. He had tried numerous times to let Lori down gently, to tell her that he wasn't interested nor would he ever be interested because he had already found the love of his wife.
The first attempt had been after Steve was realized from the hospital and the team had gotten together to welcome him home. She had found him in the kitchen and remarked about happy she was to see him back with the team and on his way to recovery. Steve had thanked her for her concern and started to ask her about the hug but they were interrupted by Chin who had gotten concerned that Steve had wandered off. Steve laughed off the joke before turning back to Lori only to find her leaving the room and heading back towards the small get together at Danny and Steve's house. He hoped that she saw the pictures of the family hanging around the house.
Before Steve could take another opportunity to talk to Lori, the team was slammed with case after case so since Steve was still recovering from the intense beating he took in Korea he wasn't able to really talk to Lori or even see if she hadn't gotten the hint that he and Danny were much more than work partners. He hoped for both his sake and Danny's sake that she had gotten the nonverbal message loud and clear.
It was plain to see that Steve's hopes weren't coming true when he finally returned to work a full month after they had returned from North Korea. Lori had seen the photos and remarked about how cute they looked a family and toned down her flirting a smidge. She continued to be in Steve's personal space which only served to aggravate Danny even more. If she had a legitimate reason for being in Steve's space Danny wouldn't be so angry about it, but she had no reason to be in Steve's office as much as she was, so Danny's agitation kept getting worse. Steve had even told her that she could easily go to Chin or Kono, or even Danny with her questions because it wasn't a good idea to just see how Steve did things. They were a team that each brought valuable skills to the team and when Lori came to Steve with a technology question he wanted to yell at her.
She was making an already stressful time for Steve even worse. He was trying to get caught up with everything he missed during his medical leave and having Lori playing 'mother hen' was grating his last nerve. He only prayed that they got a case because the longer he was stuck in this office any longer he was going to blow. It was also almost Valentine's Day and Steve was busy trying to plan a romantic getaway for him and Danny because they hadn't even been able to really celebrate it, so Steve knew that this year he had to pull out all the stops. So to say that Steve was stressed out was a gross understatement.
Danny saw Lori talking with Kono and eyeing Steve's office and saw Steve stabbing the keys of his laptop a lot harder than was absolutely necessary and was up and out of his chair before he even knew what he was planning on doing. "Back away from the keyboard McGarrett before Chin kills both of us when you break your laptop again." Danny stressed forcibly pulling Steve's hand away from the keyboard. He paused in his pulling motions when he caught sight of what Steve had been doing. "Why are you searching for bed and breakfasts?" Steve pushed his chair back from Danny's grip as if he had been burned.
"For informational purposes?" Steve tried to reply but failed when it came out as more of a question than a statement. Danny turned so he was sitting on the edge of the desk, Steve immediately shifted so that Danny's legs were nestled between his with Steve's hand's resting on Danny's thighs. Danny waited just staring at Steve until he sighed and hung his head a little bit. "It's almost Valentine's day." He mumbled hoping Danny would leave it at that.
"I know that Steven, I was the one that took our kids to pick out their valentines to give them classmates so I am fully aware that it is almost Valentine's Day. What I don't understand is why you thought you had to take me to a bed and breakfast for said day."
"I wanted to do something romantic for you, since we were so wrapped up with cases and the custody thing last year that we didn't celebrate." Danny smiled and lightly squeezed Steve's hand.
"Come on babe, I'm hungry and I think the fresh air will do us some good." Steve stood up without a word and followed Danny out of the office. It took a matter of minutes after they had left the office for Chin to text him to keep Steve out of the office for the rest of the day because he was not fixing his laptop again. Danny laughed as he pulled Steve into the house and they capitalized on their empty house. Danny wanted to make sure that Steve barely remembered his own name let alone that they had jobs waiting for them.
Said jobs that sometimes required them to put on their tuxedos and wow the governor's friends. Although Danny was not complaining about spending his night with Steve because Steve in a tuxedo is a sight that Danny is always going to be happy to see. Plus it was an auction for charity so Danny really couldn't say no.
"Babe please relax." Danny whined resting his hand on Steve's lower back. Steve had been on edge for days and Danny was starting to get worried.
"I'm fine Danno. You know I just hate these things."
"Yes, but look we can bid on season tickets for the Hawaii Hurricanes. Granted they're not the New York Jets but its still football." Steve nodded leaning back into Danny's hand for the comfort. This was the last place that Steve wanted to be, but when the Governor asked he couldn't say no. And now he had the perfect idea on what to get Danny for Valentine's Day. Covertly as possible he tried to make a bid towards the tickets but Danny was quick to catch his movements. "What are you doing, huh? Why are you even near that sheet of paper?"
"Because I was going to bid on it Danno." Steve shot back slipping easily into their bantering feeling the last of his stress leave his body.
"No see I was going to bid on it for you, so you cannot therefore bid on it for me." Danny replied crossing out Steve's bid and writing one of his own. Steve smirked and waited until Danny was distracted about Kono asking about the kids to cross out his bid and write another one.
They kept going back and forth until the Governor came over needing to speak with Steve and Lori. Danny tried to hide the shocked hurt from his face but Steve saw it and tried to make him feel better with a look, but Danny only scowled in his direction and turned away from them.
"Why does she look so smug?" Malia innocently asked looking from Chin to Kono and finally to Danny who was staring off in the distance with a dark look on his face.
"She's been trying to get Steve away from Danny since the moment she got here, so she probably thinks the Governor is finally noticing that she's a better fit for Steve than Danny." Kono replied still looking at the door that Steve had followed the Governor through.
"Doesn't she know they're married?" Charlie, Kono's date/unconfirmed boyfriend replied watching Kono clench and unclench her fist.
"I think she's too caught up in her feelings for Steve to notice, I mean she saw the photos of Steve and Danny at their house from the ceremony and commented on their family photos when Steve came back from his training, but she still keeps trying to get him." Chin supplied finally tuning into the conversation and saw keeping a careful eye on Danny, who was still silently fuming.
"I bet you we have a case." Kono murmured when Steve came back into the room with Lori right next to him a smug set to her mouth. Steve didn't look happy in the least as he came back to join the group.
"Let's go, we've got work to do." Steve growled looking at Danny with a softer look than the team. The two in command had a silent conversation before Danny was nodding and following Steve out of the ballroom leaving the other members to follow behind them. Danny stayed quiet through the rundown of the situation and waited until they were in the elevator until he finally spoke.
"What the hell was that?" Danny asked referring back to why Lori had gone with Steve and not Danny. Steve sighed and pressed against Danny's side resting his forehead against Danny's temple.
"The governor thought that Lori would understand the gravity of dealing with this quietly since she has the experience with sensitive matters, but you're my partner and I'm not letting her think she has gained any authority because of the governor. So you and I will be attached at the hip until we solve this and I promise Danno I'll talk to her after the case." Danny sighed and turned wrapping his arms around Steve's waist as they rode up to their floor. Danny pulled away as the elevator signaled they had reached their floor.
"Let's get this case over with." Danny murmured following Steve down the hallway hoping that things didn't get to crazy.
Of course that hope went out the window when Steve jumped off the roof to save their suspect. "You stupid son of a bitch! Steve!" Danny screamed rushing to the edge to see Steve laying on the balcony a floor down from him. "I hope you hurt something you animal! Stay in the hallway and don't even think about doing anything until I get down there." Steve nodded and winced as he stood up already feeling the bruises spreading on his ribs from the fall and hoped that Danny went easy on him.
"Do you not hear me when I tell you to be careful? Do you not understand that I actually care if you come home to me or not? I swear you're trying to see just how much I can take before I have another panic attack or heart attack, I'm not sure which one you're shooting for."
"I had to try to keep him alive, he need him Danno. And I'm sorry." Steve whispered as they hauled their suspect into the elevator. Danny only looked at Steve concern flooding his blue eyes. He could see the way Steve was trying to push though the pain. He shook his head and muttered about taking care of it when they got back to HQ.
As if the nature of their case and Steve jumping from buildings to follow suicidal suspects wasn't bad enough, of course they had to find a tie to the Russians thus running the risk of causing an international incident along the way. And Danny was convinced that Steve was trying very hard not to pull a SEAL trick out of his arsenal to solve this case, he could see the itch to Steve's fingers. But after the whole 'Korea treason thing' they all have to be on their best behavior just until they can get back in the Governor's graces then it's game on. So it's the most logical decision that Steve not be the one to question Dennis, who was in a fragile state of mind as it is, so Danny took over after putting Steve in his office with an ice pack snug against his ribs.
After talking with Dennis for ten minutes Danny wanted to throw himself off of a roof, the guy was just too depressing and self centered to have any idea of what was going on. Danny sighed numerous times as he tried to find out how Dennis knew their victim. Finally Danny gave up thanking the guy for his time and going to check on Steve, only to find Steve nowhere to be found. Danny wanted to pull his hair out because who knew what trouble Steve was getting into.
Danny turned grabbing his phone from his pocket as he made his way out of HQ when he caught sight of a pissed off Steve barreling at him. Danny quickly moved and watched Steve fly into his office slamming the glass door behind him before he began pacing through his office. "What the hell is his problem?"
"The Russian guy who killed Nicki Chase raped her sister and Nicki went to comfront him and we think he killed her."
"I hate it when sick bastards have diplomatic immunity." Danny replied watching Steve come out of his office and look at Danny that immediately made him drop his head. He knew exactly what his partner was planning and he didn't like it one bit.
"Let the record show that I'm not okay with this." Danny gripped for the millionth time as he watched for the black town car to pass him.
"We know Danny; you've said it a million times. And think of it like this, you're not that one about to cause an international incident by driving into the gates." Chin shot right back adjusting his grip on the steering wheel before he hit the gas and hoped he didn't end up in jail.
Danny sighed and watched as Steve hit the car and fell towards the pavement, even from his place twenty feet away he would hear the sickening thump Steve's head against the pavement.
"Steve!" Danny and Kono screamed rushing from their positions to see just how badly hurt Steve was. Danny stopped when he saw Steve lying still and bent over struggling to breathe. Getting a slight grip on his fragile emotional state, Danny pushed Lori out of the way and knelt down by Steve's head bad knee be damned. "Steve, babe come on open your eyes for me. I need to see your eyes McGarrett." Danny pleaded squeezing Steve's hand trying to get some sort of reaction. He could feel the tears pooling in his eyes as the time dragged on and Steve didn't move. "You son of a bitch, are you trying to kill me? Come on you stupid army Neanderthal open your eyes." Danny leaned down to rest his forehead against Steve's. He prayed for Steve to open his eyes and hoped that he wouldn't have to go home and tell his kids that their daddy wasn't coming home. As Danny went through hell Steve finally groaned and opened his eyes his hand immediately clutching Danny's hand hard.
"Navy, it's Navy Danno. You know that." Danny chuckled opening his watery eyes to see Steve's clouded with pain.
"It got you to open your eyes didn't it? Can you tell me what hurts?" Danny asked completely forgetting that they were at a crime scene. Danny only cared about making sure that Steve was okay, well as okay as he could be for having just been hit by a car and the whole roof jumping thing.
"My head and I think I fucked up my ribs again, might've even broken them this time." Steve rasped as the ambulance pulled up. Danny only moved enough for the paramedics to check Steve and decide that he definitely needed to go the hospital. Danny stood up and winced as he put pressure on his knee, it definitely hated him.
"Does one of you want to ride with him?" Lori stepped up seeing that Danny was too distracted with his knee to hear the paramedic.
"I'll ride with him." Danny pushed past the pain in his knee and moved quickly beating Lori to the ambulance.
"No you're not. Get a clue profiler; you have no shot with Steve. You wanna know why? Because that man put a ring on it two years ago, so kindly back the fuck off of my husband." Danny sneered finally tired of dealing with this the whole situation. He turned to Kono who flew to his side in a flash helping Danny get in the ambulance. She was shocked that Danny had been so blunt with Lori like that in front of everyone, but she knew it had to be done. Lori needed to get the message that her flirting wasn't doing her any good.
"I'll meet you there okay?" Danny nodded as the doors were slammed shut and the ambulance raced over to the hospital.
Steve came to and looked around the room. He tried moving his head but his vision started swimming and his head felt as if he had had too many beers the night before. He groaned as he finally sat up feeling his ribs protesting, he spotted Danny sitting in the chair across from the bed rubbing his knee.
"What happened to your knee?" Danny smiled and shook his head.
"Of course after being hit by a car you're more worried about my knee. It just hates me for kneeling for so long because my bonehead husband wouldn't open his eyes after being hit by a fucking car."
"How bad is it?"
"My knee or you?"
"Both?" Steve asked feeling a little confused.
"Well you have a mild concussion and deep bruising on your ribs with a fracture on two. The doctor was amazed at the shit you put your body through in the past two days. As for my knee, the doctor went ahead and checked me out too and it's just sore that's all. I just need to ice it and be careful for a couple of days do my strength exercises. Ya know the usual." Steve nodded watching Danny gingerly get up and make his way over to Steve. "I have half a mind to put your ass on the couch for the shit you pulled today. Did you not understand me the other night when I said stop trying to give me a panic or heart attack? Or do you have a short memory?"
"I can honestly say that I didn't mean to get hit that hard by the car, Danno. I swear I didn't set out to end up in the hospital." Danny nodded resting his forehead against Steve's.
"Can we just agree that you've scared me enough and that you'll try to be safe for awhile?"
"Yeah Danno, I can do that. You need to take it easy too; I don't want you fucking your knee up again. You know the next time you do its surgery." Steve seriously replied cataloging every detail about Danny to see just how much pain he was in. He was more than aware of just how much Danny downplayed his knee pain and he knew that severity of not knowing just how much his knee actually hurt.
"Thanks mom." Steve smiled broadly as Danny shook his head and sat back down. Danny wasn't going to tell Steve about his little outburst at Lori. While he knew she needed to hear what he had to say, she didn't deserve to be told like that. He knew he should apologize for telling her the way he did because it wasn't her fault that his husband was determined to become a frequent visitor to the hospital.
Danny perked up when Kono texted him that the plan worked and that the Russian douche bag was going to jail. Suddenly it all seemed to be worth it and Danny couldn't wait to spend Valentine's Day with his husband. He just hoped that his outburst didn't blow up in his face.
Steve walked into the office checking his watch, he had exactly thirty minutes to find Danny's gift and get back home before Danny realized he was gone. Even though it was a few days after the actual day of Valentine's Day Steve was still determined to spend the day with Danny just the two of them, but he needed Danny's gift first.
"Hey Steve can I talk to you?" Steve turned halfway to his desk to see Lori standing in front of him.
"Uh sure, what's up?" Steve asked leaning back against his desk crossing his arms.
"Um here. Open this one first." Lori handed him two envelopes and Steve looked confused for a moment before opening the first envelope and scanning the letter.
"You're resigning? Why?"
"When I first started working here, the governor told me that I work for the state of Hawaii and that I had to make sure that you guys were doing things the right way. I guess somewhere along the way I let my feelings for you completely cloud my mind and I wasn't thinking rationally. I can't believe I didn't put the pieces together that you and Danny were married and I'm so sorry that I put you in that awkward position. So cut to this case and the governor asked me to choose between Five-0 and Hawaii and I made the wrong choice."
"I'll talk to the Governor, there has to be a way. You did prove to be useful."
"I need to go home. I miss my family and I miss the states. I'm not cut out to be a part of Five-0. Please tell Danny I'm so sorry for flirting with you so much, it was never my intentions to try and break up a very happy marriage. The second envelope is my way of apologize to both of you. Be safe Steve." Lori gave in and wrapped her arms around Steve for a brief moment before she disappeared from the office leaving Steve sitting here looking at the second envelope. He waited until he knew she was gone before ripping open the envelope and laughing when the season tickets fell out. He knew that Danny was going to love it.
"So what brings you here today Danny?" Danny sighed and rubbed his knee as a twinge of pain shot up through his leg.
"Ever since Steve went off to play Knight in Shining Armor for Jenna, I've been feeling anxious almost every time he goes into the field. Every time I see that look on his face, that look that says shit is about to hit the fan hard my heart starts racing and I feel like I can't breathe."
"Why do you think that happens?"
"Because I don't know if he's going to come home. I almost lost him in Korea because he can't say no to helping out people that he cares about and I'm scared that I'm actually going to lose him."
"Steve is highly trained right? As a SEAL they are trained for anything and everything that could possibly happen. And you know this, so why does it scare you so much?"
"I can't lose him. You don't understand just how much that man means to me."
"Tell me then." Don prompted sitting back giving Danny the silent signal that he wasn't going to interrupt him.
"Steve makes it okay for me to be me. For the first time in my life I feel comfortable in my own skin and I know that he protects me from a lot of shit that people say. I know that people shut up real fast when they see us together because they know that he'll make them regret fucking with me or our kids. So if something happens to Steve I'm afraid that I won't feel this comfortable and safe. When I was married to Rachel I was the one constantly making sure she and Gracie and the rest of my family was okay. But with Steve he's there to help, he makes me feel safe. He makes me feel like if shit goes down he'll be right there with me and he'll make sure he both get out okay. And I guess I just don't feel like I do that same for him. I'm not as trained as he is, so when he gets that look on his face I'm not always sure that I can completely protect him."
"What are you really saying Danny?"
"I don't feel like I'm good enough for Steve." Danny whispered his shoulders finally sagging as if a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulder. It felt nice to finally give a voice to that thought that had been nagging him since the moment he and Steve started their relationship. Now that he finally admitted the truth, he was scared of how he was ever going to feel differently. But he needed to get this anxiety thing under control before it completely tore his life apart.
Endnote: So I'm going to just say this now, this ending just literally came out of nowhere. I had no idea I was going to end it like that, but I still hope you guys enjoyed it. Plus this way we get some added drama between McDanno in future chapters. Let me know what you guys thought and until next time ~thatredheadgirl~