One step forward two steps back?

The staffers at News Night seemed to have enjoyed their snow day and came back to work in far better spirits than they had been during their post-Christmas depression day. All the staffers…except for two. And moreover, this was instantly noticed by everyone. By noon, there was a pool going that Will and Mackenzie had had sex during the blackout and were now having to live the awkward ramifications.

It was strange to the staffers, however. It wasn't like they were arguing or at each other's throats, having screaming matches in the middle of the bullpen (which to anyone normal, or who didn't work at ACN, would be a sure sign that two people had slept together who shouldn't), rather it was the lack of it that made everyone certain something had happened. Will and Mackenzie were being quiet – which was creepy.

Will seemed to be struggling to talk to her, and Mackenzie seemed to want to spend as little time as possible in his company as a result.

By five o'clock, however, some of those who'd made a wager were regretting their money when Wade Campbell strode into the office looking for Mackenzie.

It was the fact that he was late which pissed her off first, and then from thereon in they seemed to just fall apart. Whenever they were together, they just seemed to malfunction.

When he didn't show up on time for the tone meeting, she decided to give it five minutes before it became unacceptable. On any other day she might have been a bit more lenient, but today was the day after yesterday and their joint open-heart surgery on their relationship. She had managed to show up to work, so where the fuck was he? Was he really going to act the child and avoid her? Like fuck he was. They were not going to bring their (new) problems to work.

For the past eight months they had done a pretty good job of managing to maintain a professional relationship despite occasionally having to deal with something personal spilling over into this part of their life. And really, what had changed apart from they had said some things which they had both at least suspected about the other at some point since they had reunited? Yet apparently, this emotional intensity was too much for William Duncan McAvoy. He was an hour late. An hour and ten minutes.

He arrived at twenty past, sliding into the room and excusing his absence with "bad traffic". Mac nearly snorted. She shot him a nasty, disapproving look and didn't bother going over what he'd missed – telling him instead (she felt like a fucking 10th grade teacher) that he would have to catch up later. For a moment he looked like he was going to argue back, and then he caught her expression and his face softened into what she thought for a moment was worry or regret; but after the last twenty-four hours she quickly dismissed that and turned back to her white board.

She didn't care that everyone had noticed how snappy she was being, she just cared that yesterday she had sliced open her heart to Will and handed it to him on a plate to do with what he wished, and then this morning he hadn't even tried to make a good start. She had been under the impression that he cared about her enough, no matter what she had done, to at least meet her in the middle on this. Because after their day together, she definitely wasn't the only one in the wrong anymore. They both had things they needed to make up to each other. So why did she feel like she was going to be the only one trying?

After that the day just did not get any better.

Whenever Will tried to talk to her, he seemed to clam up; and every time it happened it made Mackenzie want to scream at him.

She knew that part of the reason she was so immediately angry was her realisation from the previous night: that Will probably couldn't forgive her – and that just made her pissed at herself right from the starting block.

She also knew that although she had gotten rid of the headache and had given herself a caffeine boost, the effects of a hangover were still finding ways to break through her defences…oh, and why had she been drinking? Oh yeah. Because of Will. Because she couldn't stop being in love with him even though she strongly believed that he couldn't be with her. And that just made her feel stupid sometimes, even if she couldn't seem to do anything about it.

The one thing she just really didn't understand, however, was how they had gone from being relatively close and passive about working through their problems yesterday, to becoming like a square peg trying to fit in a round whole today.

She had hugged Will goodbye yesterday, and he had said that he didn't think she had to be sorry for what had happened between them – which a stout part of her argued was bloody true – so how had he gone from that to being evasive, awkward and pretty much silent?

Will was also feeling the tendrils of confusion grappling at him. He could take a guess at why Mac was angry at him – he had known he would be late and that she would disapprove; but he thought she was over-reacting slightly.

Considering what he had done two nights ago, she had been unexpectedly close and open with him…but now? He didn't know what he had done to make her change her tune so drastically. They hadn't had any contact since she had hugged him goodbye the night before…so what had changed?

She had been – well, optimistic was maybe too strong a word – but she had been open and willing to give them another go only hours before. She had said she would be willing to wait for a little while, and that she still loved him – she had been very receptive to the idea of them working through their issues.

And he wasn't quite ready to tell her that he had gone to a therapist this morning; but he felt slightly like she had slapped him in the face now that he was trying to make some changes (not that she knew of course).

He didn't know what to say to her; he only knew that he didn't want to say the wrong thing. He felt like if he told her about Habib then would be a tick in the good column for him, but he just couldn't yet. Maybe after tomorrow's session with young Habib, when they had more time to talk through the finer points of some of the things Will had told him this morning, then he would be at the stage where he could admit to her that he was seeking professional help – though maybe not go into details just yet.

Until then, however, he just tried to do nothing that would upset her.

The other problem was that he still hadn't gotten over the memory of kissing her. The day before, he had been able to have her close by him without anyone seeing. They had cuddled on the couch in the morning, and then (although they had spoken very little) they had remained close to each other throughout the day. Just having her there was soothing, and had made him more optimistic that they could work through this.

Now, however, they were in an office full of gossips, and even if Mac had been okay with it – which he somehow doubted she would be in her current state – there was no chance of him being too near her for fear that someone would start the rumour mill and put unwanted pressure on an already fragile situation. Not only that, but rather than seeming to want to be close to him, Mackenzie seemed to be doing a lot of walking away from him.

He felt lost.

Nine o'clock tomorrow morning could not come fast enough.

What Will would not discover for three whole days, however, was that nine o'clock the next morning was already too late.

When Wade strode into the office at five that afternoon, Will was upstairs having an early dinner (or a very late lunch) with Charlie, and he would not know until New Year's Eve that Wade had ever been there.

Hey guys, this isn't compulsary reading, but I was a little wary of a few things in the last chapter, and since someone did pull me up on it, I'd like to clarify a couple of things just for myself more than anything…

In reply to a guest review:

"She felt more tears falling from her eyes, but she quickly realised that
they weren't because Will had hurt her; but because she knew that if he ever
found out what he had done, he would never, ever forgive himself.: - huh.. so
he bruises her and she's just going to forgive it? im not into that.

"God she made herself sick sometimes" - yeah Mac is breaking my heart right
now & will needs to grow up.

I would definitely count myself a feminist; but having said that, there is a guy in my life who, like Mackenzie, I would actually put before myself; and maybe to some that's anti-feminist/pathetic/ridiculous, but I genuinely believe that there are some matters of the heart that transcend politics regardless of what gentitalia you possess; it's not something you can help. When people say that a woman is somehow weak when actually the term I'd use is human, it's frustrating.

So, I totally get where you're coming from, and she's not just going to forgive him per se…but…you have to remember how screwed up both these people are AND how long they've been screwed up for.

I have to say that I did struggle with that part of the last chapter, and I had a few doubts about posting it; but in the end I hope I was true to Mackenzie – whatever you think of her – because maybe not personally, but I professionally want to BE her! And if I found a "Will" in my life…which hopefully I will find in order to get over a certain other person, then I'm pretty sure I would kick myself to hell and back to fix it. If you've never had an infatuation/been in love/had your heart broken then it might not mean as much to you…and for that I'm sorry.

As far as I'm concerned, Mac is one of the most brilliantly written female characters on TV right now – and mainly because she doesn't live up to the male stereotype of a 21st century feminist, but she still manages to stay a strong and admirable woman.

I hope I've clarified myself a bit…I did have some secret worries about the last chapter…

Thanks x