If?

Chapter 11

Kurenai sighed deeply as she took a long swig from the cup of tea in her hand. A cup of scalding hot tea was always the best companion to a restless night. She gazed out the window in her tiny kitchen and counted all of the toys that Asai had left out in the backyard the previous day. 'Today is going to be a living hell…' She thought to herself morbidly.

She had stayed up all night in the living room reading because even if her 'guest' wasn't a shinobi, which she clearly wasn't (the girls' small stature and the fact that she didn't have a shinobi headband revealed that fact.) Kurenai still needed to be cautious, despite appearances. She would never allow harm to come to her little baby. 'What the hell was the Hokage thinking…? Didn't she even stop to remember that I have Asai to take care of?'

She was shaken out of her thoughts when the little devil himself came hurtling down the stairs.

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'What the hell..?'

Ren shot up out of her slumber as she heard what sounded like a herd of elephants rampaging outside her door. She crawled her way to the edge of the bed and looked out the window over the desk to see a beautiful blue sky without a cloud in sight. 'Lovely day… too bad I'm being held here against my will…' She thought to herself cynically.

With a heavy sigh she lifted herself off the bed and dug through the dresser. No way was she going to put on her filthy old clothes… she would rather eat her own tongue. In the dresser drawer she found a long sleeved mesh shirt with a tight long sleeved grey shirt to go under. 'Lovely…' In another drawer she found a pair of black tight black leggings that came down to just under the knee and were a little too snug, but would have to do. In the last drawer she found three quarter length sleeved midnight blue shirt that was so long it could pass as a dress and came down to mid thigh. The sleeves were loose and the neck line even looser to the point that it was almost hanging off her shoulder. But that was just fine with her; at least it would cover up what the leggings revealed. 'Great… now I look like a fucking ninja too…' She thought with a fair amount of displeasure. In a futile attempt to tame her wild locks, she ran her hands through it, managing only to get out the worst of the snarls before giving up. 'This will be as good as it's going to get, I suppose…'

Heaving another great sigh, she slipped on her sandals and made her way out the door to face her warden.

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Kurenai glanced up from Asai's normal toddler babbling when she heard the stairs creaking. Sure enough, within moments, the disgruntled form of her newest houseguest made its appearance. She watched as Ren merely raised an eyebrow at the babbling child before stepping farther into the kitchen.

Kurenai's eyes narrowed and she quickly and sarcastically made the comment that she knew would tick the girl off. "Go ahead; help yourself to my clothes… I don't mind."

That statement earned Kurenai a furious glare from the disgruntled girl, and sure enough, Ren shot back with her own snide remark. "Oh, well I'm sorry, but did it look like I had anything else to change into? I don't recall lugging a suitcase or back pack with me. Oh! That's right! Because I didn't! Because I was abducted, and for the past few weeks I have been dragged across the country and manhandled by your lovely and gracious shinobi. Who, by the way, didn't even have the decency to stop anywhere and get me any clothes or other necessary traveling items!"

Kurenai merely stared at her with a hard expression for several minutes. Then she finally said in a calm voice, "Okay… Why were you abducted in the first place?"

"Because when I drugged one of your shinobi it interfered with their mission."

That had Kurenai's brain stuttering for a second… "What? Why the hell did you drug a shinobi? More importantly, who did you drug?" She asked, her brows creasing in confusion.

"The rude one that thinks he's better than everyone. He has hair that looks like a chicken's ass." Ren said with a slight smirk as she waved her hand over the back of her head to mimic the hair style.

Kurenai's eyebrows shot up nearly into her hairline. If it hadn't been for Kurenai's mastery of her emotions, she would have burst out laughing. 'She drugged Sasuke!?' But instead of laughing, she let out a rather unlady like snort and repeated her first question.

With a smug smirk still firmly in place, Ren drawled in a very sarcastic tone. "He was getting rather handsy… if you know what I mean. But he was a shinobi, and I knew that fact almost immediately, I mean he practically exudes power… so I couldn't just say no, guys like that get rather nasty when they are denied their 'conquests'." Ren lied through her teeth, but in a very believable manner. Obviously Kurenai didn't catch the lie, but that might have been mostly due to the fact that she was too busy laughing up a lung. "But when I drugged him his mission was interrupted. After I had drugged him my family and I fled the country, because not only did I piss off foreign shinobi, but I would have been charged with harboring illegal foreign shinobi if anyone had found out. So my family and I fled to the Rice Country, which was where I was found and then abducted and brought here to make reparations to your village."

Kurenai was leaning up against the counter clutching her side when Ren finished her explanation. "So you're not a shinobi at all?" Kurenai asked, sounding amused.

"Nope."

Kurenai doubled over in laughter again. "I'm… sorry but… the thought of you, a civilian, bringing down… Sasuke Uchiha… it's just too funny!" She gasped between her bouts of hysterical laughter.

Ren smiled slightly. 'Maybe my warden isn't so bad after all… but that still doesn't mean I'm going to get all chummy with these people.' Ren was startled out of her thoughts when she wound up with a face full of mush, courtesy of one screaming little boy that was feeling left out of the conversation.

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They were still about a half an hour early when Ren and Kurenai meandered into the Hokage tower after dropping off the little bundle of chatter with a man in flak jacket. He was definitely an odd one. For one thing he looked to be around her age, with his hair in a pony tail, and he was smoking a cigarette even though he looked like he didn't care for it one bit… or at least that seemed strange to Ren.

'Whatever… this whole village seems to be a bit screwy…' Ren thought to herself as she recollected back to everything she had seen that morning while Kurenai dragged her through the village. 'People wearing Capri's with bandaged legs, some with those green flak jackets. Some were even jumping from roof to roof! What is wrong with walking on the ground?! Show offs much?'

Ren mentally shook herself to clear her thoughts as she saw her 'nemesis', aka, the Hokage, walking towards her with a very pissed off expression adorning her face. She glanced out of the corner of her eye and slightly glared at Kurenai who could barely contain looking like a child waiting for a present. Ren rolled her eyes as she prepared herself for the hellish conversation she knew would be in her very near future.

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A man lurking in the darkened corner of the room also fought to contain his smile as he watched the Hokage bear down upon the two women. His companion merely rolled his eyes as he felt the malicious excitement practically pouring off of his teammate. He restrained himself from punching said teammate… but just barely.

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Tsunade stalked toward Ren and Kurenai with an expression of anger… mostly because Shizune hid her sake bottle… again. But another part was just for dramatic emphasis.

"Hello Ren, Kurenai." She greeted with a smirk towards the older woman. "Follow me Ren, we can begin your psychological evaluation today and get that out of the way."

Tsunade watched with interest as Ren's body stiffened just the slightest and her face donned a mask of stony indifference. She held back a chuckle as Ren let out a heavy sigh and said in an irritated tone, "Let's get this over with."

Tsunade turned on her heel and began leading the two women down the hallway. As they were nearing their destination, she let her smirk develop into a full blown, malicious smile as she thought about the future meeting.

'Oh yeah, Inoichi and Ibiki are going to have fun with this one…'

Dun-dun-dun!! Ibiki and Inoichi finally get a part in the next chapter!!!!!! Yay!!! I 3 Ibiki … not like that… I just love his tough as unbendable/unbreakable steel character.

Lol! I love writing the new personality for Hinata… the one in the original Naruto series makes me want to pound my head into a wall… I understand the shyness and know that some can't help it… but it still frustrates me…

Anyway, I finally wrote out the plotline for the story… and I think it is better that I think I was originally thinking about for the story… if that makes any sense…

I WANT REVIEWS!!!!! …………………….. please? :)